While visiting the Internet, DIS or other sites, have you come across mean people?

[Rajah]

Yes, well said Bucky.

Though I have seen the cliques that some talk about. There are some here, just as there are some people here who *aren't* part of any clique but are open and friendly to all. And I have unfortunately seen some instances where posts were bumped to the second or third page for whatever reason by a posting frenzy *specifically* designed to hide that other post. Sad, but it has happened. No, I won't name names (even in PMs, so don't ask).

 

[CarolAnnC]

To answer Dan's original question, yes I have come across mean people on the DIS and the internet. That was confirmed to me once again just by reading this thread.

My grandmother always said "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Words that some could stand to follow.

 

[Buckalew]

This place is very real to me.

I have cried happy and sad tears here.

The people typing these threads and posts are real people to me. I read them and a part of me judges what kind of person they are from the post they write. Another part of me knows that they may be very different from that post. If I read more positive than negative, I'll be more apt to give them a chance. If more negative than positive, forget it. I judge most of the posts I read. I expect to be judged in the same way. SO, I try to choose my words carefully although my mind work quicker than my fingers and I know my posts confuse a lot of people. (Think mind-reading and not enough English classes to be able to put my thoughts on paper well )

With me, what you see is what you get. Bad or good. Judge me. Because I'm judging you.

I do think if many people here met each other in RL we'd be pleasant and pretty much like each other. I'm pretty easy to get along with.

 

[browneyes]

I assume if they are mean on the net, they're atleast 10 times as mean irl.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

My goodness.. how could I judge anyone unless I have met them...that would be like judging on a first appearance, something I never do.. .. I met someone here who I thought was a sweetie.. the first time I met her.. but I now see a side that I did not see then.. I try to give many chances, you have to be really nasty for me not to like you... ... but you know the expression.. "fool me once, shame on you.. fool me twice, shame on me."

Real to me is my family... my husband and my children... and the friends I have made in life... Living day to day.. knowing that I have done my best and have treated people the way that I would like to be treated..

I have a friend here on the Dis who has taught me that life is precious and we should live it as if each moment is our last... I try to do that without hurting anyone along the way..

 

[DisMNagain]

Browneyes, you said a mouthfull.


What I find terribly sad is that the NICE people are afraid to stand up to the mean people....which in my own mind gives those nasty folks more power.

Whey they say the things they do and NOBODY stands up and screams in their ears that their behavior and attitude is UNACCEPTABLE then they believe that they are in the right.




Please...let's TRY to do the right thing. It HURTS to be a victim, on the internet or in real life.



Maybe that's fodder for another thread.

What kind of behavior IS acceptable in today's society?
What kind of roll model are you?

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by DisMNagain
What I find terribly sad is that the NICE people are afraid to stand up to the mean people....which in my own mind gives those nasty folks more power.

That's because standing up to them makes us their next targets. And at least some of those in the "nice" category "wear their hearts on their sleeve" so to speak, so that when they get attacked, it hurts all the worse.

So I guess you could say what you did -- the nice ones are afraid to stand up to the mean ones, for fear of becoming the mean ones' target.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

yes, I've found some very mean people on the 'net. the face they wear in one place is different from the face they wear elsewhere. I've learned not to be deceived.

 

[babar]

I wonder what everyone's definition of mean is on here. I bet we all have different people in mind when we state that someone is being mean.

What makes a post mean?

 

[Buckalew]

Mac-key,
I'm just being honest. I judge the posts here. I'm not saying I'm right about doing that though. But I do it. Sometimes I'm proven right, sometimes wrong...some I still don't know about.

I do make a judgement from first appearances in RL too. I don't close my mind on that person though. Most of time, I have changed my mind about those people. But still, first impressions are important. Again, I'm not saying it is right to do this...I'm admitting I do it and also saying that that I have been both right and wrong about people. However, I do not judge outward appearances by designer duds or how pretty one is--that I must say. I have matured that far.

For instance, when I first came to the DIS and read your posts, I thought you seemed like a nice person. You are fair and kind & love Disney. So, I judged you and thought, "she's nice." Then, I spoke with you on the phone once. I thought you had a cool accent and you were kind to me, a stranger, on the phone. Again, I judged you because of how you treated me. Again, I thought, "she's nice". I haven't met you, but have continued to read your posts. I read and judge and think, "your nice."
So, I guess until we meet and you are mean to me you are very nice in my book. That is all I mean. I'm really very simple.

 

[Buckalew]

So I guess you could say what you did -- the nice ones are afraid to stand up to the mean ones, for fear of becoming the mean ones' target.

Yeah, that and the fact that the rules here are to play nice. So, if you play here and not other places that don't have rules, you just don't stand up for yourself. Besides, it seems to me if you become the target today, tomorrow there is someone else around the corner that mean people will pick on so "this too shall pass". And come to think of it, I don't think I have even seen anyone stand up for themselves and win. Words twisted everywhere...I think it is a losing battle so why waste the energy and time. JMHO

 

[CathyCanada]

C'mon TVT, you don't even think I am mean?? I thought everyone thought I was mean.......until they met me, then they KNEW I was mean!!!

The net is no different than real life in that there are good and bad. Sometimes the bad pretend to be good and the good pretend to be bad. The trick is in knowing the difference and knowing who your real friends are.

I don't know that I have found anyone who was inherently evil. Cruel, yes, manipulative, definitely, but I don't think evil....

CC

 

[DisMNagain]

Wow...good points Rajah and Buckalew...

stuff I need to think about.....thanks.

 

[Jenzebelle]

Have I met mean people on the internet? Yep.

I find that among the worst are those who claim that they are only trying to protect the interest of others when really they are just enjoying being caught up in their own psychodrama.

I've learned that the more you profess and proclaim your niceness, the more likely you are to stab me in the back. I'd rather deal with those who are upfront about their faults, their "meanness" and their limitations, than those who think they are better than that.

 

[Crissup]

Originally posted by babar
I wonder what everyone's definition of mean is on here.

I make a pretty mean pot of chili.

Seriously though, it's like going on vacation and doing something outragious (like karaoke) because you're "never going to meet these people again". People get on here and figure they're never going to meet these people in real life. Therefore, they can be whoever they want to be. Wanna be a stock broker, lawyer, network admin, doctor? Who will know the truth? Likewise, people will say anything, figuring that they will never have to face these people in real life. Obviously, most of these people would not act the same in real life. If a doctor, for example, were to point out on an Internet bulletin board, that a greiving person's recently deceased mother was not going to heaven because there is no heaven, that said mother is really now just a cold, lifeless chunk of flesh, do you really believe that doctor would express the same feelings to a patient in real life?

However, as I stated in a recent post on my own board, the DIS has it's share of mean people. But, the good people here *far* outweigh the bad people. It's easy to overlook that fact. You can assemble a group of 100 people and if one bad one in the crowd starts yelling out nastiness, you quickly focus in on that person and tend to overlook the other 99 good ones.

Regardless of what the actual number of registered posters here is, there are a *lot* of them. The DIS does a great job in maintaining the integrity of the site and this attracts enough good people to keep the number of baddies a relatively small number.

 

[TheLionKing]

You can dwell on the bad or look for the good........

Holding grudges tends to make feelings fester. Sometimes I feel that is the crux of the problem. Some people are better at letting grudges go....... It doesn't make them a better person, but maybe it makes them a happier or more carefree person?

Fortunately, I have a real bad memory for things like grudges.

That and there is enough drama in my real life that puts things that happen on the internet into perspective.

 

[EROS]

I think that EVIL does exist on this board. Some may say that it resposes with me. That's certainly their right. I in turn see it in other areas. Everyone should be forewarned; some people here project a persona that is a sham. Their public "goodness" is really a coverup for their private demons. At least with me, what you see is what you get ...........

 

[Beanie]

I have met some very mean spirited people on the internet...I have been hurt too, but real to me is my family, my children and the few friends I have met here from the Dis that I talk to daily by phone or email...they are real to me and they are the people I hold close to my heart...

I always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt...I am sometimes too naive though because I believe what everyone tells me...I have learned the hard way not to do that anymore...

 

[aahmom1]

I think that EVIL does exist on this board. Some may say that it resposes with me. That's certainly their right. I in turn see it in other areas. Everyone should be forewarned; some people here project a persona that is a sham. Their public "goodness" is really a coverup for their private demons. At least with me, what you see is what you get ...........

Evil does exist on this board and you don't have to look far to find it. No Eros, I'm not talking about you. You may be a lot of things but evil is not one of them.

 

[Nikole]

Originally posted by EROS
I think that EVIL does exist on this board. Some may say that it resposes with me. That's certainly their right. I in turn see it in other areas. Everyone should be forewarned; some people here project a persona that is a sham. Their public "goodness" is really a coverup for their private demons. At least with me, what you see is what you get ...........

I have to agree with you Eros. W hile I would love to say that I don't think there is Evil on this board or on the net......I think there is.


Eros...question for you...if someone has you on ignore......and someone else quotes you........will they still see teh quote?