While visiting the Internet, DIS or other sites, have you come across mean people?

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by ILUVDXL
A most interesting thread. I can say I've seen only one truely mean person on the boards and this was while I was lurking and hadn't yet joined. I think she was the reason it took me so long to register. I knew I didn't want to become the recepient of her venom. As I read through some of the replies, I began to wonder if sometimes we mistake someone's strong opinon on a subject as being mean rather than them just trying to get a point across.

you haven't seen some of the things Cathy Canada has had to delete.

 

[Robinrs]

To answer the original post, yes, I'm amazed at how nasty some people can be on "paper"... what it reminds me is they probably would never say the things they say on this board to my face. Why? Nobody does.... I am NOT a nice person in real life....

I grew up in a town where NICE gets you in trouble. Here I feel comfortable being nice. It feels so good to come here and read about the rest of the world I did not grow up in, this community is full of people who are genuinely kind and happy.

Then there are those who are unkind and unhappy, and instead of hating them I pity them.

Like cuz said, at the end of all this what really matters is your family and the people who really know and love you. In my home I have total peace and love, it's what I've wanted and craved all my life. If an unhappy sad soul tries to break me, they truly waste their time.

My parents raised me to believe in ME. If you grew up in a a racist town, in a school where I was called a name every single day by not just the students but their parents because they did not want me there, and managed to excel and do all I've done when everyone told me to shut up and be what they assumed I was... a post on this board is a piece of cake. Take my word for it....

 

[snoopy]

I just noticed my new tag. Its weird, I was just thinking this would be my new tag. I'm particularly a magnet for the dysfunctional at Christmastime - Christmas being a foil for all the psychodrama and all.

Just had to jump back in and say Robin, you don't fool me. I don't care where you grew up - you are a nice person in real life. You have just found healthy ways to deal with unhealthy people - whatever works for you in that you have found peace in your heart, I say more power to ya.

 

[ILUVDXL]

You are correct, I haven't seen some of the things that CC has had to delete, and I wouldn't want her job for enything. But I read some posts in the past and wondered to myself if people were not being overly sentative to something someone wrote. There are many DISer's here with strong opinions, but I never felt they were going out of their way to be mean.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

for the most part you're right. but not entirely.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

for the most part you're right. but not entirely.

 

[annemariec]

While visiting the Internet, DIS or other sites, have you come across mean people?

YES. Not many and not often, I'm glad to say.

I recently got 3 PMs (!) from a woman because I defended someone she was trying to smear. I deleted the 3rd one without reading it, because I asked her not to PM me again (and the first two were vile).

Annemarie

 

[leahannpen]

I can honestly say, with my limited internet use, that no, I have not run into anyone really mean. Atleast that I know of. I am not tooting my own horn here, but I tent to also try to see the best in everyone. Even those that "say" something mean. I assume they are not really "mean" people.

Here on the DIS, I see many people post really nice things, most of the time. I can honestly say I haven't run into any one really mean, awful person. Although, I may not read the posts where there are mean people, or I may hop on the post after the mean stuff has been deleted.

If I feel like I'm going to say something mean, I try to think about it before I post it. If I have ever said anything mean, I am sure I didn't mean to.... so sorry if I did! I just don't see the point in saying something mean to hurt someone that I don't even know. Why? Who's going to feel better for it? I'd rather be known as a nice person, rather than a mean person.

I can say that just about every person I've come into contact with here on the DIS has been nice.... so far anyway!

 

[Rhonda]

I met one of my best friends on the Internet - in fact, it was right on these boards, a few years ago!

 

[Lanshark]

DIS is the only BB I post to. It is entertainment. There are many posts and posters I disagree with. If everyone agreed this would be a very boring board. Disagreement does not make someone mean. It is the manner in which some disagree that I find obnoxious. There are ways to fully state your opinion , even if it does not conform with the rest of the posters, without being condescending, inflamatory or confrontational. There are also ways to state your opinion without baiting and demeaning anyone who doesn't agree with your stance.

As I tell my kids, when someone has to demean others to make their point then they didn't have a very good point to begin with.

 

[DisMNagain]

Lanshark, this goes way beyond just disagreeing or debating certain hot topics...

I go to many other websites where people disagree all the time, and yet, NOBODY get's downright nasty nor do they consider people enemies because they might disagree.

I have come to the conclusion though, that downright nasty attitudes and overall bad behavior (along with HUGE over-reactions to rather small events) are underlying mental health issues.

Feel free to blast me if I'm wrong, but I think there's some truth there.

 

[TwinMom7]

Yep....right here on this Community Board.

The person not only responded negatively REPEATEDLY to my posting, she also sent me 2 "nasty" emails. Luckily, the moderator removed her responses from my posting.

And you want to know the funniest part? She still responds very nicely to my postings. Makes me wonder if she even remembers me. Trust me...I remember her!

 

[Beauty]

Yes I have and its sad that I can say they are the ones who made me stop posting to the DIS very often. Its sad when you can't post without a sarcastic remark or gesture to your post like you are being followed. I hardly ever come to the DIS anymore because of these people. They tell me to "get over it" yet when I post there is always a snide remark or a rude gesture, how do you get over anything when it is being thrown in your face every time you post....even if it has nothing to do with them.

Its sad because for at least 2 years the DIS CB was my home. I felt very very close to the majority of the posters here and even met quite a few. I was going to say that I wish I had NEVER known about this group of mean people....but that wouldn't be true. Because of their snide remarks and hateful private messages I now have a group of friends who I would trade nothing in the world for. But I do miss my DIS friends as well. Enough of my rambling for the day

 

[aprincessmom]

Originally posted by Buckalew
Kim, while I think I agree with you about the backstabbing, I just don't want to stabbed either way--front or back. I certainly don't want someone I consider my friend stabbing me at all.

Perhaps they subscribe to the "True friends stab you in the face, not the back" maxim.

To answer the question, yes. I have come across mean people on a number of boards be they purely entertainment or entirely related to my occupation. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Only if I let it.

I'm also one of those "It's not real life" people. Yes, you all do exist to me just as people in Australia exist to me in real life. But, just as it is with all the Australians I don't truly know, you (the collective you that I don't truly know but understand do exist) don't typically enter into my everyday life and thought patterns.

It's sounds cold when you say it but it's just a practical application of life. I practice the same standard of courtesy in my real life as I do in my "not so real life". I am what I am.

 

[ripleysmom]

Buck I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. I was away from the computer most of the day.

For the record I don't think that you are being unreasonable. You want everyone to get along. And with the mods here at the DIS I think we get about as close to that as we can.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I've met people who come off as "mean" or seem like they are doing "mean" things. I don't think they realize they are being mean, though. I think it is just their personality. Of course, I do tend to try and see the "good" in everyone, so maybe they are, in fact, "mean"!

 

[Barb]

While I don't think I've ever been subject to actual meaness (is that a word?), I did come across some surprisingly harsh behavior from those I thought were my friends. When that happened, I knew it was time to take that proverbial step back and lay low for a while.