While visiting the Internet, DIS or other sites, have you come across mean people?

[ripleysmom]

Yes. I have come across the outright mean ones and I have also experienced the sugar coated stab you in the back ones. At least the ones who are mean to your face are honest.

I've also made some very good friends here at the DIS. Some I have met and some I have not. Certainly meeting people strengthens the bond but there are some people here at the DIS that I truly love and care about without ever having met them.

JTB I do believe what you are saying about the inner circle. While I have never experienced it myself since I mostly reside on the DB (yes we're mean there but we are honest about it LOL!!) I am quite sure that what you are saying is true.

One more thing in defense of the mean ones is that at least you know where you stand with them. They aren't pm'ing all and sundry talking about you behind your back. I've never figured out why a knife in the back is preferable to having someone say what they feel to your face.

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by ripleysmom
Certainly meeting people strengthens the bond but there are some people here at the DIS that I truly love and care about without ever having met them.

That's what I've been trying to say, but doing a very poor job about it tonight.

 

[Buckalew]

Originally posted by TheLionKing
You can dwell on the bad or look for the good........

Holding grudges tends to make feelings fester. Sometimes I feel that is the crux of the problem. Some people are better at letting grudges go....... It doesn't make them a better person, but maybe it makes them a happier or more carefree person?

Fortunately, I have a real bad memory for things like grudges.

That and there is enough drama in my real life that puts things that happen on the internet into perspective.

I agree with TheLionKing. I think he must be a heart doctor for a reason. Grudges seem to hurt the person holding it (like a monkey on their back) far more than the other person.

I suppose that is why the Bible says to forgive others/ & to go to that person and try to make it right. I think God knows that for our own sakes it is better for us than to hold the grudge or wait for the other person to come to us.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by EROS
At least with me, what you see is what you get ...........

And that's why you've never offended me.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I am married to this very spiritual man..he guides me all the time because things do get to me.. but I do try to keep it in perspective...to quote him.. "if you let them in your head, they own you." Another one he uses on me is to let it go... do not let it consume you.. I try to do that to just let it go.. Not always an easy thing to do..

I am not sure what evil you all are referring to..personally I have not experienced true evil...and am not sure I would know it if I saw it... I think of our political discussions as just that healthy discussions.. no way Eros is winning me over with his liberal ideals just as I have a fat chat of winning him over to my conservatism..

Everyone, have a wonderful Holiday and lets hope for a great New Year...

 

[EROS]

Originally posted by browneyes
And that's why you've never offended me.

LOL..............you're in a select MINORITY, but I appreciate your post ........

 

[Rajah]

I have experienced true evil on the net.

Thankfully, not on the DIS.

I've experienced and seen mean, cruel, nasty, and backstabbing (as well as nice, loving, and true) on the DIS, but not true evil.

 

[Buckalew]

Kim, while I think I agree with you about the backstabbing, I just don't want to stabbed either way--front or back. I certainly don't want someone I consider my friend stabbing me at all.

 

[SonjaB]

I will only say I have found some posters to be entirely different than they present themselves. I'm not in the habit of referring to DISers as vile and evil (pains in the butt sometimes, but not vile or evil ) and I don't want to start tonight.

 

[dandave]

I have zero Dis friends. It's not because I don't like Dis folks, but because there are some folks on these boards that I just don't trust to be "real". I like many of you for who I think you are on the boards. It's all too complicated to try to make friends here, though. It's like a Soap Opera. I don't watch those, either.
I come here for entertainment. Yes, sometimes I read something that makes me really disgusted or PO'd, so I post in a PO'd manner. I'm not perfect, and I do lash out sometimes. Sorry about that. I've learned a lot from these boards and about myself. The DB makes me think, the Resort Board teaches me about WDW, and this board is entertaining and often helpful. It's all fun for the most part, though.

 

[ByTheSea]

Originally posted by Buckalew
Kim, while I think I agree with you about the backstabbing, I just don't want to stabbed either way--front or back. I certainly don't want someone I consider my friend stabbing me at all.

I agree wholeheartedly....

Sometimes it seems there are people who like to hurt, or who like to push buttons. The internet is a strange medium. You can be anonymous, you can be yourself, or you can get sucked into behaviors that are not really you. You just never really know....

I will confess (and apologize) that in the past I may not have always been 100% "nice" but the internet was a game, a form of entertainment to me. But when I realized (duh) that there are real people with real problems and real feelings behind all the user names... and when I was hurt, "stabbed" so to speak by people I mistakenly thought of as friends.. well it was certainly an eye opener for me.

So I keep my distance from some... try not to even read those threads that make me wince.... and try to be a better person. I guess my goal when surfing a BB is to have fun, maybe learn something, maybe offer an opinion or two, and NOT cause anyone any un-necessary pain or stress.

 

[Crissup]

Originally posted by Doesn't Matter
in the past I may not have always been 100% "nice" but the internet was a game, a form of entertainment to me. But when I realized (duh) that there are real people with real problems and real feelings behind all the user names... and when I was hurt, "stabbed" so to speak by people I mistakenly thought of as friends.. well it was certainly an eye opener for me.

This is it exactly. There was a time when I was very bitter and was taking it out on the net. Fortunately for me, I was finally able to resolve my problems and started to realize what type of person I had allowed myself to become. I like to believe I have resolved many of those problems. But, there are still way too many people on the net who haven't had that eye opener yet.

 

[ripleysmom]

Neither would I Buck but truly do you count the mean people (to your face) as your friends. I know I wouldn't (well okay maybe some of them but I am on the DB after all LOL).

 

[ByTheSea]

Originally posted by Someone else!
This is it exactly. There was a time when I was very bitter and was taking it out on the net. Fortunately for me, I was finally able to resolve my problems and started to realize what type of person I had allowed myself to become. I like to believe I have resolved many of those problems. But, there are still way too many people on the net who haven't had that eye opener yet.

Not all of us are perfect. We make mistakes. We learn. We grow and we change (hopefully for the better )

 

[Buckalew]

Kim,
There are people who I read on the net that I consider to be mean. They may not be "mean" to me but they are "mean" to others and I know at any given time, I may be next. So, quite possibly, there could be a "meanie" who I consider to be my "friend"... maybe "friend" is being used very loosely here. Maybe instead of "friend" they are just a friendly DIS aquaintance. But, the fact still stands... I don't want THEM stabbing me either.
If I'm not hurting them why would they want to hurt me?(or others?) I don't get that part and I suppose I never will.

And the answer is No, I don't consider someone who I know is mean to me my friend.
Actually, as I type this, I see I am one of those "can't we all just get along" types of people. I realize we won't agree on everything and that is OK to me. But in the meantime, why do we, as posters, have to say hurtful, mean things about others?

Maybe it is just in there and it has got to come out...like, "that Buckalew...what a simple minded, thinks she has a direct line to God, makes me want to throw up, thinks she knows something about haircuts, brown-noses Dan Murphy, freaking peaceloving, good for nothing whodunit--she really gets on my nerves." Then, I become a vent topic and that is somehow OK?
I disagee that that is OK. It may feel good to the venters but does it really feel good? Somehow I doubt it. In fact, as ByThe Sea has said, he/she has participated in it and in the end it wasn't doing any good in any way shape or form.

I think all of this bothers me because I lost a dear friend who was depressed (really deeply depressed--not by any particular situation in his life but he struggle with the disease of depression) and he learned how to commit suicide on an Internet BB and went through with it while they stood back and dared him and egged him on. Yes, I think that is why I know that there are real people on these boards and real feelings hurt. We can make a positive difference in someone's life--even on an Internet Bulletin Board.

(sorry for the long post)

 

[Planogirl]

I have known my share of people who turn out to be not at all what they seemed like at first. And while a few turn out to be backstabbers, I can handle these better than some who pretend to be good friends and then suddenly have zero interest. Those are the very worst IMO because you sometimes never know why they changed their attitudes.

Luckily, there are some truly kind people on the 'Net too. There aren't enough of them IMO but I'm grateful when I find one.

 

[caitycaity]

personally, i have never met a person who is all mean or all good, either irl on on the internet. imho, everyone has both meaness and good in them, and everyone has their mean and good moments. that is part of being human.

on the internet, as irl, there are people i do get along with, don't get along with, and don't know well enough to decide that yet. i hang out with people both irl and on the internet accordingly.

 

[epcotfan]

Originally posted by babar
Sure, and I've also come across people who sugarcoat things, but the hidden message also isn't very nice. You just have to take the good with the bad, and be happy you don't have to deal with them in real life.

Well said Babar!

 

[oldkicker]

I've not experienced anyone who is absolutely, 100% mean.

We all have facets to our personalities and we all have our moments of absolute grace and absolute distemper. I know that the truth in people lies somewhere in between. I also recognize that not everyone is going to get along. At least not all the time.

I do think it is important to recognize that there are real people behind the cute screen names and typed words. I've made quite a few friendships here. Real friendships. I've been fortunate enough to meet many of my DIS friends in real life and share some absolutely wonderful moments with them.

I've seen this community do some wonderful things. Real, concrete and marvelous things. Moments that have made me proud to be a member here.

I'm sure that ******* will continue. Differences of opinion will always be there (thankfully).

On the whole though, this is a pretty neat place to be.

 

[MeanLaureen]

Hmm.. with a screenname like MeanLaureen I guess a lot of you would have to say yes

Unfortunately I have seen my share of mean people on the net. I'm hoping that it is just a big game to them because I would feel sorry for people that are that bitter in real life.

For the most part I have found the internet to be very highschoolish. People seem to let their maturity levels drop with the "disguise" of a screenname. I think they are more likely to gang up on people they don't agree with or make fun of people when they don't have a face in front of them. I see a lot of "we don't like the way this person thinks so we won't let them play" mentality and they will either totally ignore the poster or do their best to drive any posts by them to *gasp* page 2 to never to be seen again! (And I belong to a few BB's so I'm not singling out the DIS... it happens really bad on other BBs)

One of the most appaling things I have ever seen on the internet was by a former boyfriend/fiance of mine. He considered the internet to be a "game". He would go into chat rooms and get to know people and pose as a psychiatrist. These people would spill their guts to him and all along he would be telling me what idiots these people were. (exact words). I told him to take a huge leap after I found out what he was doing. He just didn't understand why I was upset since the internet is "just a game". Interesting fact to the story, this man is a minister in the Methodist church.

I try to be exactly who I am in real life at all times on the internet. I can be the kindest person you know or I can let my firey redheaded temper take over and live up to my screenname. What you see on the internet is what you get in real life.

Luckily I have made several really good friends on the internet so not everyone out here is mean

I apologize for the poor spelling.. it's way too early in the morning