Spin the Bottle: Would you play? UPDATED WITH OUTCOME!!!

[greenyskp]

something doesn't feel right and you know it, or you would'nt be in DIS asking total strangers for opinions. I don't know anyone who played spin the bottle past the age of 15. He obviously has something on his mind or he wouldn't have brought it up. You know him better than we do. I'd advise to keep both eyes open and listen to your gut. And before you get married, you better know him a whole lot better.

lol. nothing has hit home more then that statement.

And for the record. I think the dis is one of the best places to put a question out there to see what people think. I think we're all very good-hearted people.

Once again. He would never cheat on me. I know him in that respect. Unfortunatly I just think he needs to grow up a bit in some areas.

 

[greenban]

My biggest concern, is disease.

Many viral illnesses have no cure, or even a good treatment for supression. I wouldn't be comfortable kissing strangers on the lips. Heck in our family we teach the kids to kiss their relatives' cheeks for greetings.

Don't need any herpes simplex here thank you!

-Tony

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Your boyfriend just wants to see you kiss another girl. I wouldn't do it, that's gross! Blech!

Not everyone thinks that is gross.

We played stupid games in college, and even beyond once I graduated but still hung out with the college crowd. But you have to decide what you are comfortable with. You have reservations about it and your boyfriend should be understanding of that.

 

[monkeyboy]

What no "One time at bandcamp" remarks?

 

[r3ngels]

Count me in as another one surprised that anyone beyond early teens would play that game.

Me too!!! I wouldn't want to kiss another women or guy.

 

[tar heel]

Spin the Bottle was a really big thing at my crowd's parties -- when we were about 13 or 14. We only kissed members of the opposite sex, though. Count me as another person who can't imagine adults doing that. No way would I do it.

 

[greenyskp]

What no "One time at bandcamp" remarks?

Clearly your stalking me if you know I play flute.

And AS IF I havent heard that one before.

Maybe I should ask you to play Spin the Bottle?

 

[vettechick99]

Gosh I had a really juicy story to tell, but I'm chickening out.

I wouldn't go and say your BF is gay, but if it makes you uncomfortable, then I hope he'll respect your wishes.

And to some of you Ican'tbelievethisgoesonpast13 folks, yup it does. Making out goes hand in hand with alcohol with those in their twenties.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

See, I was afraid that, that was the kind of answer I was going to get.

He's not dating anyone else. He's not playing even playing the game. When he was saying he played back in college, this is talking 6 years ago. He's not gay. I've known him almost my whole life.


I just dont understand where this came from. And wanted some opinions.

Yea well, I'm old and well, been around the block. Where there is smoke there is fire. Been burned enough too know.

Plain and simple it is sexual experimentation with others. Lots of people do it. If that is your "bag" then go for it, just don't be surprised that it is what it is.

I know of people my age that do "swap" and have open marriages. Just not my cup of tea. If you are afraid of "that answer" I gave then there might be something that isn't sitting right with you. I don't know you or your BF, only you can answer those questions. We can only give our opinions.

 

[Crankyshank]

You say you guys are "adventurous". If the thought of playing spin the bottle and pecking random female and male friends bothers you but not him, I think you should probably sit down and determine exactly how adventurous you are and what the boundaries are in your relationship. Because it sounds to me like you're not on the same page.

and just because you've known someone forever doesn't mean you can't still get the rug pulled out from under you.

 

[bananiem]

I always thought STB was for adolescents to "experiment" and get a kiss from somebody without having to ask and be all embarrassed. People in college usually just ask the person out or take 'em home for the night.
I was in the marching band in college and we had house parties every Saturday night but I don't remember anybody playing STB. Sometimes people would hook-up. On New Year's Eve we'd go around and kiss everybody but that was more friendly.
I would expect my SO to respect my wishes.

 

[vettechick99]

I always thought STB was for adolescents to "experiment" and get a kiss from somebody without having to ask and be all embarrassed. People in college usually just ask the person out or take 'em home for the night.

I think it's safe to say (hope not to offend) that those in their early twenties are still adolescents in many respects. I can't tell you how much my views on sex have changed since I was 21...its enormous. Most everyone experiments - just at different stages in their lives.

That being said, I've never actually played STB!

 

[greenyskp]

Ok. So Since most everyone has said that they would want their SO to respect what they wanted.

And during the argument, he said, We didnt have to if it was a big deal to me.

So he was a good boyfriend. and He said what he needed to say.

My point is....

Now What?

Should i let this go, or store it in my 'watch out' file. Or should i talk to him about it tonight, and tell him its been bothering me.

I dont want to harp on him, Im just so confused now, reflecting back, as to why he was so gung ho.

Write it off?

 

[grinningghost]

I've known my DH all my life too.....I can't imagine us playing spin the bottle with our friends, and I can't imagine him kissing other women (let alone men!) "in fun", unless it was something as simple as a greeting.

I guess I'm confused as to what the point is. Or maybe I'm old. But to me, spin the bottle is a game played among kids who are in their very early teens and not something that committed couples partake in, unless both parties are willing and interested in mixing it up a bit. Which is fine and dandy if that is what you are both into, its just not something I would feel comfortable with.

I do have to say that I saw a Sex and the City episode once where Carrie is dating this younger guy and they go to a party where Spin the Bottle is being played. The boyfriend is totally into it, Carrie is appalled. It certainly was the first time I have heard of adults playing spin the bottle (as it was for Carrie!), so perhaps its a generational thing?

Another case of someone doing all the typing and me saying "thanks for answering exactly as I would have".

 

[greenyskp]

I do have to say that I saw a Sex and the City episode once where Carrie is dating this younger guy and they go to a party where Spin the Bottle is being played. The boyfriend is totally into it, Carrie is appalled. It certainly was the first time I have heard of adults playing spin the bottle (as it was for Carrie!), so perhaps its a generational thing?

When me and him were talking about it, I thought of this. (Im a HUGE SATC Fan) I feel like Carrie. Its not my thing. I guess im just not sure if I should be offended that It might be his.

 

[Saphire]

My point is....

Now What?

Should i let this go, or store it in my 'watch out' file. Or should i talk to him about it tonight, and tell him its been bothering me.

I dont want to harp on him, Im just so confused now, reflecting back, as to why he was so gung ho.

Write it off?

I think you should store it away like you said, and recognize that this is a red flag in your relationship. Do not write it off. You will now be aware of things more keenly when and if they come up.

I have a problem with adults using alcohol and behaving in ways they would never dream of behaving when sober. If you are more of an intellectual type girl who dislikes party animal behaviour, that is another red flag. Start keeping track of those flags, they are there to warn you. Good Luck.

 

[greenyskp]

I think you should store it away like you said, and recognize that this is a red flag in your relationship. Do not write it off. You will now be aware of things more keenly when and if they come up.

I have a problem with adults using alcohol and behaving in ways they would never dream of behaving when sober. If you are more of an intellectual type girl who dislikes party animal behaviour, that is another red flag. Start keeping track of those flags, they are there to warn you. Good Luck.

Thank you for the advice.

Just for future reference.... because aparently everyone has their own ideas about red flags and such.... When I say that we are talking marriage, i'm serious. This has been one of the only red flag situations. Do you marry a man with red flags? Its not happening any time soon.... But considering everything else is what I want, and we had this one fight... lol this sounds dumb... I guess what im saying is... Does everyone go through stuff like this and its minor? I was just surprised by his response. I know he was more wild in his college days, and I dont have a problem with it. Hes respecting my wishes now....so... I dont know. I hate being young.

 

[Phrebert]

Let him live it up, You will change him when you marry him.

 

[vettechick99]

Do you marry a man with red flags?

Well it certainly depends on the red flag, but yes you do marry imperfect men. The one thing I've learned is that marriage is not all fun and games and is hard freakin' work. Monogamy is hard work. When you get married you don't stop being attracted to other people.

Everyone/society makes marriage look easy because people hate to talk about their problems, but marriage is a constant choice to honor your commitment and vows. Marrying the right person sure makes it easier though.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders!

 

[Kallison]

I think I played STB once in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!! College friends should be playing quarters or fuzzy duck, and then watch the HOly Grail while yelling out all the lines.