Need some parenting advice

[perdidochas]

This is about religion and you wanting your daughter to only practice what YOU find acceptable. This is one of the main reasons I hate organized religion and the people involved too clique and too closed minded. Beyond all the silly rules or idea the main idea is love and belief in a higher power of good. So why is it such a big deal that she MIGHT look into another religion? Because YOU don't like it? If you have instilled positive faith nothing will sway her and it's natural for teens to explore other religions and faiths. As long as they aren't practicing human sacrifice I wouldn't worry.

Just wanted to add: I'm not seeing why you banned your daughter? Why are you upset that they asked question about her faith? Isn't that the point to ask and discover and find answers?

If the parent has examined the faith, and finds it disturbing, that should be enough. Also, the other mother is undermining the OP and her authority. That is unacceptable behavior for a parent.

Also, at age 12, it is still a parent's decisions about what a child will be exposed to. It's the same with almost every other decision the child makes.

 

[tlbwriter]

I really don't I think the parent has every right to say who and where her child is around. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy.

Personally, I think you're missing the hypocrisy...

 

[Alesia]

I think the parent has every right to say who and where her child is around.

I absolutely agree.

I was just pointing out the hypocrisy.

The difference between this situation and your situation is that this poster isn't using the neighbor as a babysitter while complaining about where they are taking her child. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. This poster doesn't. There is no hypocrisy.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I absolutely agree.



The difference between this situation and your situation is that this poster isn't using the neighbor as a babysitter while complaining about where they are taking her child. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. This poster doesn't. There is no hypocrisy.

You can put "but" in all you want. No matter who it is, a parents wishes should be respected, free baby sitting or not. a parents wish should be respected across the board.

Like I said if it's the religion I think it is, I can understand but I fell the same way about religions that don't allow women to hold high positions.

 

[Alesia]

You can put "but" in all you want. No matter who it is, a parents wishes should be respected, free baby sitting or not. a parents wish should be respected across the board.

Yes, you're absolutely right. They should. And if they aren't, then you should not leave your child alone with that person. Only a fool would do that. That is not the situation with this poster and I cannot understand why you insist on making this about you when it clearly isn't.

 

[Scurvy]

You can put "but" in all you want. No matter who it is, a parents wishes should be respected, free baby sitting or not. a parents wish should be respected across the board.

Like I said if it's the religion I think it is, I can understand but I fell the same way about religions that don't allow women to hold high positions.

I've read the post you were responding to 5 times and I still can't find the "but". She's explaining the difference between your situation and the OP's situation. You don't seem interested in understanding, though.

It doesn't matter what religion is involved. It doesn't matter whether the religion is the most respectable on the planet or the most heinous. It wouldn't even matter if the OP and the neighbor were the same religion. If the OP wants her child to stay home and the neighbor encourages the child to leave home, or if the OP says her child has to come home and the neighbor encourages the child to stay out instead, it is not okay. It wouldn't be okay if they were going out for ice cream or going to the OP's own church, or doing anything else. The neighbor should respect the OP's rules for her child and not be encouraging the child to disobey her mother.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Yes, you're absolutely right. They should. And if they aren't, then you should not leave your child alone with that person. Only a fool would do that. That is not the situation with this poster and I cannot understand why you insist on making this about you when it clearly isn't.

Why do you keep replying? No it's not about me but I felt there was a bit of two-face ness going on

OP you did the right thing. I just how that you don't shut out all paths that lead to God out of your daughter. everyone can find something they don't like in any religion.

Scurvy, there are ways of saying but without using "but".

 

[Alesia]

Why do you keep replying?

Because I think it's unfair of you to call people hypocrites when it isn't true, and I was hoping that you would be able to see the difference between the two situations.

 

[disykat]

Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

I had to quote it again. I'm also seeking permission ahead of time because I know I'll be quoting it again and again through the years. Brilliant!

 

[horseshowmom]

I've read the post you were responding to 5 times and I still can't find the "but". She's explaining the difference between your situation and the OP's situation. You don't seem interested in understanding, though.

It doesn't matter what religion is involved. It doesn't matter whether the religion is the most respectable on the planet or the most heinous. It wouldn't even matter if the OP and the neighbor were the same religion. If the OP wants her child to stay home and the neighbor encourages the child to leave home, or if the OP says her child has to come home and the neighbor encourages the child to stay out instead, it is not okay. It wouldn't be okay if they were going out for ice cream or going to the OP's own church, or doing anything else. The neighbor should respect the OP's rules for her child and not be encouraging the child to disobey her mother.

I agree and can't figure out for the life of me how hypocrisy could be gotten out of the situation...

 

[CowboyCO]

Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

Where's the Tag Fairy when you need her?

 

[tiggersbombed2]

It's not for another family to shove their religion onto someone else's child. A child who already HAS a religion tyvm.

It would be like someone giving your kid soda, when you don't want the child to have soda, you drink juice and you want you child to drink juice, NOT soda. Who the heck are these people to decide their stuff needs to be introduced to her child? What if she took THEIR child and started having her do things they didn't like?

Like maybe the girl only wears skirts, what if OP had the girl put on pants and where them home instead? Would that be right? Of course not.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I'm not familiar with a religion that excludes people based on their race.. the only type I can think of is Jewish Orthodox but don't you have to be born into that religion? I don't think they recruit people..

Seriously??????? Not one person on this entire thread has mentioned any other religion by name and you pick this one??? The one that is the basis for every known Christian based religion??

And no, they do not recruit people. Geez..

 

[Normangirls]

Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

 

[bgirldeb]

I don't want to ban this child from my daughter's life, but it's become a big problem. Her friend will not take no for an answer. I told her just this afternoon that my daughter was not allowed to go to any church activities. The friend then said could they just play and I told her I would have my daughter call her after homework time. Ten minutes later she was at my door asking to "see" my daughter. They talked on the front porch and came inside and asked to play outside.

Fifteen minutes later I get a call from the friend's cell phone. It's my daughter and she is now at the friends house asking if she could leave with the family to go to church. I told her no, she wasn't even supposed to leave our street. The friend gets on the phone and tries to explain how I shouldn't worry and just let her go. I told her to tell my daughter to come home now.

Five minutes later I get a call from the mother of the friend. She says she wants to have a mother to mother chat with me. Tells me how they would like to include my daughter in their church activity, blah, blah, blah. I tell her my daughter disobeyed me and she needs to come home now. The mother then starts asking about my faith etc. I tell her to send my daughter home and hang up.

Religion or no religion, that alone would make me seriously limit any time spent with this friend outside my supervision.

It sounds like instead of telling your daughter you said she needs to come home the friend further manipulated the situation by going to her mom, and the mom condoned it. Totally out of line.

 

[padams]

They may be trying to convert your DD but here's another possible scenario. Could the religious child be reluctant to go to her church activities unless she has a friend come along? I've known a few situations where the kids hit middle school (looking at OP's post, I'm gussing this situation involves 10-11 year olds and not the little one) and are not as interested in attending their religious activities. I wonder if the parents find it easier to get their daughter to attend if she gets to bring a friend.

I'd keep DD busy and focused on other friends. Let the religious child come to your house, but limit the time spent at the religious child's house.

Good luck.

 

[tlbwriter]

They may be trying to convert your DD but here's another possible scenario. Could the religious child be reluctant to go to her church activities unless she has a friend come along? I've known a few situations where the kids hit middle school (looking at OP's post, I'm gussing this situation involves 10-11 year olds and not the little one) and are not as interested in attending their religious activities. I wonder if the parents find it easier to get their daughter to attend if she gets to bring a friend.

Even if that's the case, it's no excuse for their behavior. Deliberately undermining another parent's authority so your kid can have a playmate is no better than deliberately undermining another parent's authority for any other reason. And it shows someone is willing to go to extremes for a fairly petty reason.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

I love this.

 

[Disney Doll]

I really don't, I think the parent has every right to say who and where her child is around. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy.

Then you also don't know the definition of hypocrisy.

 

[Ceila]

This is about religion and you wanting your daughter to only practice what YOU find acceptable. This is one of the main reasons I hate organized religion and the people involved too clique and too closed minded. Beyond all the silly rules or idea the main idea is love and belief in a higher power of good. So why is it such a big deal that she MIGHT look into another religion? Because YOU don't like it? If you have instilled positive faith nothing will sway her and it's natural for teens to explore other religions and faiths. As long as they aren't practicing human sacrifice I wouldn't worry.

Just wanted to add: I'm not seeing why you banned your daughter? Why are you upset that they asked question about her faith? Isn't that the point to ask and discover and find answers?

Did you miss the part where the OP had to ask repeatedly for the other mother to send her child home???? And if you can't see the difference between exposing a child to a different religion and cramming ti down their throats then you are sadly mistaken.

Of course, I still think you're a troll so I don't think you believe any of what you're typing anyway.