Looking For Control Freaks & Worry Warts too........

[Debbie6221]

Thanks! I've calmed down now, but it sure did bake my cookies for a while. It all had to do with wrestling, and if a person does not attend a certain school in northeast Ohio all of a sudden you become the enemy. I really think some of these parents are living their lives through their children.

I see that all too often and it is one of my biggest pet peeves! Don't even get me going with the whole sports thing either because I worry what an issue it can become as the kids get older (i.e. interfering with vacations and weekends, deciding what is "too much", money, time, other parents, skill level etc. etc). Well, you would be an expert Sewer so at least I know I'll have you to vent to. Tell me if I am putting my foot in my mouth or not but it does bother me when I hear every parent saying, "Oh, my DS/ DD is going to get a scholarship!"...I mean it is nice to dream and I do know there are talented kids out there that do actually get scholarships but I don't think these parents should base their whole life on that one statement. Does that make sense? I mean every kid who plays sports doesn’t necessarily get a scholarship, right? It is supposed to still be fun, right? You can tell me if I am off base.

Hi Everyone!
Gloomy, chilly day here. I have the "I am sick of winter already" guilt. Guilt because I hate wishing time away!!! I feel like my life is passing before my eyes in warp speed as it is but I long for sunshine!

Hope everyone is doing OK. Probably won't be seeing Orlando in March but we will see. I will have to decide soon. Maybe we will just do regular Florida late May or June.

I have been spending WAY too much money lately so something is going to have to give....

...........maybe groceries.... we don't really need to eat, right?

 

[ahibird]

... I really think some of these parents are living their lives through their children.

I totally agree with you !! With us, it's basketball. I'm amazed how many parents are screaming on the sidelines -- yelling at the players, yelling at the refs, yelling at the other team's parents -- it's ridiculous. These people need to chill out and let their kids have fun....

What ever happened to teaching your kids good sportmanship and fair play ??

 

[sewer]

I totally agree with you !! With us, it's basketball. I'm amazed how many parents are screaming on the sidelines -- yelling at the players, yelling at the refs, yelling at the other team's parents -- it's ridiculous. These people need to chill out and let their kids have fun....

What ever happened to teaching your kids good sportmanship and fair play ??

I think everyone thinks their children are going to turn pro, and make a zillion bucks. While that might be true for a very, very few it's not the norm. Getting that sports scholarship to college is a hard thing to do also! In wrestling there are 80 division 1 colleges, that have 10 scholarships available, usually all of those are taken up by existing students. So the chances of receivng one of those are slim, and next to none. Now academics are a different story, but are easier to get if the kids apply themselves in school. My daughter is a junior in high school, and has a 4.80 GPA. Without being a psyco parent she is being courted by several schools with some fantastic offers! So, let's see athletics.... academics what's the best bet? Thanks for the support you guys you're the best!

 

[Debbie6221]

I think everyone thinks their children are going to turn pro, and make a zillion bucks. While that might be true for a very, very few it's not the norm. Getting that sports scholarship to college is a hard thing to do also! In wrestling there are 80 division 1 colleges, that have 10 scholarships available, usually all of those are taken up by existing students. So the chances of receivng one of those are slim, and next to none. Now academics are a different story, but are easier to get if the kids apply themselves in school. My daughter is a junior in high school, and has a 4.80 GPA. Without being a psyco parent she is being courted by several schools with some fantastic offers! So, let's see athletics.... academics what's the best bet? Thanks for the support you guys you're the best!

No problem Sewer. I am always happy to see you here!

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

Hello all! I have never posted here before, since I have diagnosed OCD and tend to make my friends who worry, worry EVEN more. You know, the old "oh my gosh, I never even thought of THAT happening!!" oops!

But now we are planning our May trip. I know that a lot of my issues are control issues. I once said I could probably handle flying better if I was the pilot. Well, we had to make some adjustments on our trip, my older kids are both going, but don't want to miss 10 days of school. So DD15 is going for week 1 from 5/4 to 5/11, DS13 is arriving on 5/10 with my sister, we will have mom's day brunch all together, and then DD15 and my mom fly home the night of the 11th and we stay until the 16th.

We also had to get a limo van to get to and from the airport, since there will be 6 people and their luggage going AND coming.

I am a wreck. I am worrying that the limo company will either not be here on time on the 4th, or won't be there at 10 pm on the 16th when we stagger off the plane with 3 tired kids and my sister.

On the 10th, my ex (not exactly Mr. Reliable) is supposed to take my sis and DS13 to the airport, and then on the 11th, pick up mom and DD15. Also, DD15 has never flown before and my mom is...less than savvy with checking bags, printing boarding passes, etc.

It seems like so much of this trip is now out of my control that it is making me nuts.

Anyway, sorry about the first post venting! But from reading, I figured some on this thread would understand. I try very hard to be optimistic and go with the flow. I am usually very mellow, I have come a long way with my OCD, but this is making me a wreck.

 

[tttessa]

Hiya Steph, I have been made to feel very welcome here, and you sound like you are "one of us".

I don't have a full blown OCD but I do plan and organise and control and worry I haven't done enough of all of them!!! I also am generally quite mellow - (mmmmm , well, if things are going my way...) Sounds like a lot of too-ing and fro-ing to organise - I'd do them all lists of where they have to be when and hope for the best!!

Cheers
Tessa

 

[tttessa]

Sewer,
I know where you are coming from with the parents who push their kids and have no fun thing!!

My SIL really pushes my neice into swimming/dancing/flute playing - everything really - she swims 6 times a week now - she is 8 and is always tired and so unhealthy, she has colds, bad throat all the time - we try saying, but she is "So good now she is in the county trials next month".

It was so sad the week after Christmas - we all went swimming as a family 4 adults, 4 kids and the 8 year old didn't really know about having fun in the water -ours were diving between our feet, jumping in and splashing and really happy - then SIL was pushing our niece to do time trials with her going up and down with a stopwatch.... aarrgghhhh - and we don't have scholarships as such...

So, over ambitious parenting happens the world over...

Tessa

 

[Camster0307]

Howdy Steph and welcome to the thread! Sounds like you'll fit in just fine here. Please feel free to vent away or just express your worries. It really does help to get it out and you have an audience here who feels your pain - most have been there, done that! I'm pretty anal myself - needs things - need to have everything planned just so and then stress that it all could possibly fall apart (which, thankfully, it usually doesn't) Anyway -- I am what I am!

Count me in as another parent sick of the zealots pushing their kids too hard. For me, it's basketball also. Lauren is pretty good, but not great. She REALLY enjoys playing too - has been since 2nd grade. But we're not part of the clique of families who have hired PERSONAL TRAINERS for their daughters to improve their game. This has been going on since 4th grade! Of course, all those girls are on the exclusive town travel team, which, at this point, Lauren would have no chance of making. Which is fine because the parents there are way too serious about the game for my liking. But it's sad to know that once the park & rec. league is over in 8th grade, Lauren won't really have a place to play regularly. And did I mention how much she LOVES to play? It seems everyone so concerned about this kids who are really good, that no one cares to look after the average players who really enjoy playing becauses it's FUN! Ok, my rant is over now!

Hang in there sewer!

 

[soontobewed07]

[/quote]Hi Everyone!
Gloomy, chilly day here. I have the "I am sick of winter already" guilt. Guilt because I hate wishing time away!!! I feel like my life is passing before my eyes in warp speed as it is but I long for sunshine!

Hope everyone is doing OK. Probably won't be seeing Orlando in March but we will see. I will have to decide soon. Maybe we will just do regular Florida late May or June.

I have been spending WAY too much money lately so something is going to have to give....

...........maybe groceries.... we don't really need to eat, right? [/quote]

Hi Steph


Spending money my DH thinks it is my full time job. What he doesn't understand is that our 7 month old is growing so fast nothing fits him. Also getting ready for a March/April Disney trip isn't cheap. Oh Well

 

[Camster0307]

Spending money my DH thinks it is my full time job. What he doesn't understand is that our 7 month old is growing so fast nothing fits him. Also getting ready for a March/April Disney trip isn't cheap. Oh Well

Mine too! But we're divorced now so I don't have to listen to that complaint anymore! Men just don't get it - kids are constantly growing! Duh! My 11yr. old is in the middle of that pre-puberty growth spurt. I swear, jeans will fit in the spring, by the fall they're way too short! I'm practically buying a new wardrobe for each girl every season!

 

[Camster0307]

Yikes! My last post looks AWFUL! Sorry everybody - since Tammie taught me had to change the fonts and color, I've been playing with it. Next time, I'll preview first!

 

[soontobewed07]

I really don't buy too much We are going to Disney and LO needs summer clothing I try to buy things that will fit him all season a little big so he'll grow into them. Wait until I have to buy my clothing since last summer I was in maternity clothes still.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

My DH gets on my case about the clothes too. DD15 is pretty much grown, so she gets new stuff for fall, then winter/spring, then summer. Same with DD4.5, she is very small and just is not getting taller. She just made the jump to 3T/4T.

But my boys are a different story. DS3 has gone all the way to 5/6's and those are starting to get small (I just bought new stuff in November). DS13 is the one that really goes through clothes. He was getting new jeans every couple of months until recently. I bought him 4 pairs of jeans when we came back from Disney 12/1. He put on a pair this morning and they are just at the point where they will be too short in a week.

All that growth in a month!!! No wonder he is eating us out of house and home. I told him I am getting worried he may eat one of the other kids. At this rate, he is easily going to hit 6' by summer. He loves Old Navy though and they are having a sale, so DH won't have too much of a fit.

Thank you for the warm welcome!!! I get all control freaky and DH just shakes his head at me.

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Good Morning, Everyone!
Welcome Steph! Please join our crazy rants and planning! As for the Limo company, I'm sure it will be fine - those companies are there just for that purpose, and they are competing with Disney for the transportation business - they have to do everything right! As for your ex, sorry I don't know him

Sports: How true! Funny how it happens everywhere! With us it was baseball. When they grow up, you find out that it didn't matter, anyway. It totally took over our lives for 11 Summers! We LOVED it! We were the crazy parent fans - probably living a little through our son - he was good, but we knew he wouldn't be a pro. Anyway, he was being courted by a few colleges, and then he decided not to play baseball in college, but to get married! We were devastated. And now, he is a SR. in college, we have a wonderful DIL and two beautiful grandbabies - they live with us so they can finish their Masters - (not the babies ) He is happy and fine, going to teach and coach, which is what he always wanted. Most of his baseball friends ended up dropping out of school and are big drunks. Let's see - what would I want for my son..Hmmm.. looking back I am really glad he took a stand for what he wanted. Wish he would have made things easier for himself, but he is stronger for it! OH MY! Sewer, you touched a nerve So, just do what is best for your kids, keep them busy, and don't get too caught up in the whole thing!

We are once again in the middle of a snow storm I woke up to. My oldest DS made it over the mountain for the weekend last night before the snow started, and I think it might let up tomorrow so they can get home.

Warning, rant coming: I am pretty proud of myself today - they decided not to stay with us - are staying with my in-laws because, "our house is just too busy." They have an aversion to 3 year olds - however, at the in-laws, there is a 3 year old there most of the time. I am a little upset because the MIL acts like my son and DIL are HER kids - therefore my DGS, 8 mo. is hers, too! You would really have to see it in action, but my DIL acts like she's twelve when she is there, and the MIL dotes on her - really bizzare! I try to be loving and nuturing, but I raised boys - I don't "baby" which is apparently what they both need So anyway, my DS asked me to watch his unruly dog over here while they stay over there I stood my ground nicely and said that I just couldn't be responsible for her when they weren't staying here, so they would have to do something else. Of course the dog wasn't welcome at the in-laws. I was thinking, "Oh yeah, keep my grandson from me but send that stupid dog over here, right!" Well, he found another place for her to stay. YAH me!

Have a great weekend, everyone! I am going to try to get some work done, and be positive!

 

[Camster0307]

Tammie - Good for you - sticking up for yourself with the dog issue!

Now, am I understanding correctly: your DS and his family are now staying with his in-laws instead of you?(I get confused keeping track of the MILs, DILs, and SILs!) That stinks! I always felt that mothers of sons get the short end of the stick when their boys grow up and get families on their own. I see it happen in my family with my two brothers. They don't ever speak up to their wives and therefore don't make half the time to see our family. When I was married, I thought I was pretty considerate about it - I tried to give equal time to both sides. I hope I'm that understanding when my girls marry!

 

[SilverMickey]

I just love coming to this site each and every day to see that there is a world out there that I actually fit into.

My mother in law always says that the mom of the boy always gets the short end of the stick... except with my hubby... we always make sure she gets equal time with him and her grandsons... (doesn't give a rats heinie about me ) However I do see it with her other boys!

 

[Debbie6221]

Hello all! I have never posted here before, since I have diagnosed OCD and tend to make my friends who worry, worry EVEN more. You know, the old "oh my gosh, I never even thought of THAT happening!!" oops!

But now we are planning our May trip. I know that a lot of my issues are control issues. I once said I could probably handle flying better if I was the pilot. Well, we had to make some adjustments on our trip, my older kids are both going, but don't want to miss 10 days of school. So DD15 is going for week 1 from 5/4 to 5/11, DS13 is arriving on 5/10 with my sister, we will have mom's day brunch all together, and then DD15 and my mom fly home the night of the 11th and we stay until the 16th.

We also had to get a limo van to get to and from the airport, since there will be 6 people and their luggage going AND coming.

I am a wreck. I am worrying that the limo company will either not be here on time on the 4th, or won't be there at 10 pm on the 16th when we stagger off the plane with 3 tired kids and my sister.

On the 10th, my ex (not exactly Mr. Reliable) is supposed to take my sis and DS13 to the airport, and then on the 11th, pick up mom and DD15. Also, DD15 has never flown before and my mom is...less than savvy with checking bags, printing boarding passes, etc.

It seems like so much of this trip is now out of my control that it is making me nuts.

Anyway, sorry about the first post venting! But from reading, I figured some on this thread would understand. I try very hard to be optimistic and go with the flow. I am usually very mellow, I have come a long way with my OCD, but this is making me a wreck.

Welcome! We would love to have you here! I am sure you will fit in! We all are different in our own ways of worrying, controling, planning etc. but we can all be here for you!

 

[disneyohana]

Tammie - I hope you are feeling better. The women do seem to get their way most of the time. If your son and DIL can't handle things and need to be babied then it is better for you at least not to have to take care of them. I do feel for you though.

 

[disneyohana]

I don't remember what I last told everyone about my mom so I'll start from after she had her biopsy. The lung collapsed and they didn't get a good biopsy. They were pretty sure it was cancer so they did surgery on Dec. 26. They removed the lower part of her lung because it was cancer. Everything went well and she is home now. They said her 5 year survival rate looked good. I hope they are right. I just want to thank you all again for your support and prayers.

 

[Debbie6221]

I'm glad it is all working out for your Mom. Glad you're back here too!