Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[shortbun]

I am getting out of the military soon and spent this last week in a transitioning class. One of the things we went over was dressing for an interview. We were told women should ware skirts to interviews! Yes, I just spent the last four years of my life in camo or a flight suit, learning survival skills, shooting guns, etc. and now I am being told I have to ware a skirt to get a job!

Just stay calm and let them tell you whatever. It's a freer world once you leave the military. I think they need to update their transition book. Lol, their transition class needs to transition into this century. We have a female secretary of state who wears pants almost every day of the year. I don't think I've ever seen her in camo though, !

 

[shortbun]

No, I probably wouldn't encourage him to wear a dress at home either. I have 2 boys and neither of them have ever expressed an interest in wearing girl's clothes or dressing up in dresses. But if they did want to wear a dress I would probably tell them no. Not sure since I never had to deal with that.

Would you give them the truth about why. Btw, what IS the truth about why? Interested in your answer since you're raising boys. Sorry to make you think. This is an interesting thread isn't it?

 

[JaneBanks]

No, I probably wouldn't encourage him to wear a dress at home either. I have 2 boys and neither of them have ever expressed an interest in wearing girl's clothes or dressing up in dresses. But if they did want to wear a dress I would probably tell them no. Not sure since I never had to deal with that.

In my opinion, I think by telling him "no", whether to wear it at home or in public, will do more damage to a child than letting him wear one.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Just stay calm and let them tell you whatever. It's a freer world once you leave the military. I think they need to update their transition book. Lol, their transition class needs to transition into this century.

Oh yeah, you said it!!

 

[sissy_ib]

Just stay calm and let them tell you whatever. It's a freer world once you leave the military. I think they need to update their transition book. Lol, their transition class needs to transition into this century.

These were outside people the military brought in! We were given the opportunity to critique the class and I meant to mention the skirt thing but forgot.

 

[Goofyluver]

No, I probably wouldn't encourage him to wear a dress at home either. I have 2 boys and neither of them have ever expressed an interest in wearing girl's clothes or dressing up in dresses. But if they did want to wear a dress I would probably tell them no. Not sure since I never had to deal with that.

Would you give them the truth about why. Btw, what IS the truth about why? Interested in your answer since you're raising boys. Sorry to make you think. This is an interesting thread isn't it?

I'm interested too.

 

[Gina]

I think it's great that everyone says they'd stand up to rude people, and the blogger was proud her son wore the girl costume. But at what expense? Kids can see when they're being made fun of, and by then, it's too late. Sure, his mom stands up for him and shuts people up, but the damage is already done. People are cruel, pure and simple. Why tempt it and let someone hurt his feelings at that age? When he's older and wants to defend himself, great, but at such a young age with tender feelings, I just wouldn't want to let complete strangers ruin his fun.

I couldn't agree more. Of course we want to defend our kids and stick up for them, especially when they're little, but a lot of times we can just cause more problems for them by doing that.

Besides that - and feel free to flame me -- it's WEIRD. Plain and simple. Who says a princess dress is a "girl" costume? Common sense does, societal norms do, and most people that poor boy encounters will.

When you let your mind become so "open" that your brain falls out, that's a problem.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Would you give them the truth about why. Btw, what IS the truth about why? Interested in your answer since you're raising boys.

I actually have 2 boys AND 2 girls and a stepson. We have had dress up clothes in our house. The boys just never showed an interest in it. I would tell the boys to find something else to play with and to leave his sister's dresses alone. I would tell him the TRUTH. DRESSES are meant for girls. And you, my son, are not a girl.

Now if he is 15 or 16 and he and some friends want to be cute and dress up like girls for Halloween, and he can make an informed decision about the reactions he may or may not get from the public, if he is willing to deal with that, then he could dress up however he wanted.

But the same way that MOM in that blog talked about the reactions her son got from ppl when he dressed like a girl. That's usually what's going to happen. Ppl are ppl.

 

[ICF]

No. Not ever. Would not happen on my watch.

agreed

 

[Kat77]

Proud to be weird!

 

[Goofyluver]

I couldn't agree more. Of course we want to defend our kids and stick up for them, especially when they're little, but a lot of times we can just cause more problems for them by doing that.

Besides that - and feel free to flame me -- it's WEIRD. Plain and simple. Who says a princess dress is a "girl" costume? Common sense does, societal norms do, and most people that poor boy encounters will.

When you let your mind become so "open" that your brain falls out, that's a problem.

Some folks see a problem when others become so tightly entrenched within their own world that they can't see anything beyond what's within their own mind.

 

[Goofyluver]

Proud to be weird!

You should make that a bumper sticker.

 

[JaneBanks]

People are people but things will never change if you don't let it.

 

[badcramps]

I think it's interesting that many assume that it would be better emotionally for a boy who *wants* to dress in a "girl" costume to be forbidden from doing so in order to avoid the kid being made fun of. I would think the opposite--that there's no way to forbid this sort of thing in a boy who really, really wants to wear the costume without making him feel shamed or bad or weird because he likes "girl" things. And isn't that feeling much worse coming from one's own *parents* than from random strangers at WDW? (Not that I really believe that a 3 year old boy in a princess costume would find much hostility at WDW.)

And while most boys who want to wear a princess costume at age 3 aren't going to be gay/transgender as adults, a few of them are. Is that really the message you want to begin sending to the kid--that you think they should police their behavior/expression/appearance based on other people's narrow view of what a boy or girl should be? (And in my own experience, sometimes when parents say this kind of thing about "protecting" their child in regard to their gender expression or sexuality it's not really about the child at all--it's about the parent's own discomfort or embarrassment. I think it is really, really obvious that that is the case for many on this thread and I feel bad for the gay/trans kids who have to deal with this kind of thing--being called "weird" by their own parents. But that is generally how it is for many trans/gay kids and adults--you can't count on your family any more than the rest of the world to treat you with dignity and respect. I would think at least though that most decent parents might want to ask themselves "what if my kid *is* gay/trans? how will they feel remembering how I called them weird, forbid them from being themselves, etc?"--if you give even two ****s about your kid's emotional wellbeing that is.)

I also think the idea that it's just obvious that pink princess costumes are inherently for girls is . Funny how pink used to obviously be for boys! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink) Hey, maybe for the little boy in question this isn't about gender at all, but about time period--maybe he's trying to be a boy circa the early 1900s when, so far as I understand, baby and toddler boys also routinely wore dresses!

 

[Kat77]

You should make that a bumper sticker.

LOL! Typing that immediately reminded me of the Keep Austin Weird stickers.

If our brains fell out from being so open... would that make us zombie proof?

 

[Wall-E1]

But the same way that MOM in that blog talked about the reactions her son got from ppl when he dressed like a girl. That's usually what's going to happen. Ppl are ppl.

My son and I could care less about random comments or reactions from strangers. It's called self confidence. We don't concern ourselves or let others' stereotypes guide our daily decisions on how we are going to lead our lives. Who cares about the reactions of others? Is that really more important than letting your child express themselves in a manner that they feel comfortable with?

 

[Goofyluver]

LOL! Typing that immediately reminded me of the Keep Austin Weird stickers.

If our brains fell out from being so open... would that make us zombie proof?

I think you're on to something!

 

[bumblebee]

No one has a problem with a little girl dressing up as Spiderman or Harry Potter, and I hate double standards, so sure, I'd let my son dress as a princess if he wanted to. If it's the first time he did so in public, I'd probably warn him (in an age approprate way) of the judgemental looks and possibly even comments he might get, but remind him that if he gets any, it says more about the other people than it does about him and his choices.

This is how I feel as well.

I think it's interesting that many assume that it would be better emotionally for a boy who *wants* to dress in a "girl" costume to be forbidden from doing so in order to avoid the kid being made fun of. I would think the opposite--that there's no way to forbid this sort of thing in a boy who really, really wants to wear the costume without making him feel shamed or bad or weird because he likes "girl" things. And isn't that feeling much worse coming from one's own *parents* than from random strangers at WDW? (Not that I really believe that a 3 year old boy in a princess costume would find much hostility at WDW.)

And while most boys who want to wear a princess costume at age 3 aren't going to be gay/transgender as adults, a few of them are. Is that really the message you want to begin sending to the kid--that you think they should police their behavior/expression/appearance based on other people's narrow view of what a boy or girl should be? (And in my own experience, sometimes when parents say this kind of thing about "protecting" their child in regard to their gender expression or sexuality it's not really about the child at all--it's about the parent's own discomfort or embarrassment. I think it is really, really obvious that that is the case for many on this thread and I feel bad for the gay/trans kids who have to deal with this kind of thing--being called "weird" by their own parents. But that is generally how it is for many trans/gay kids and adults--you can't count on your family any more than the rest of the world to treat you with dignity and respect. I would think at least though that most decent parents might want to ask themselves "what if my kid *is* gay/trans? how will they feel remembering how I called them weird, forbid them from being themselves, etc?"--if you give even two ****s about your kid's emotional wellbeing that is.)

I also think the idea that it's just obvious that pink princess costumes are inherently for girls is . Funny how pink used to obviously be for boys! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink) Hey, maybe for the little boy in question this isn't about gender at all, but about time period--maybe he's trying to be a boy circa the early 1900s when, so far as I understand, baby and toddler boys also routinely wore dresses!

Well said.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

My son and I could care less about random comments or reactions from strangers. It's called self confidence. We don't concern ourselves or let others' stereotypes guide our daily decisions on how we are going to lead our lives. Who cares about the reactions of others? Is that really more important than letting your child express themselves in a manner that they feel comfortable with?

I have never really met any 3 year olds who felt the need to "express themselves" Not everybody wants to raise gender neutral kids. I don't mind my boys knowing they are boys and my girls knowing they are girls.

If one of my sons grows up to be gay or wears dresses when he is older I doubt very seriously he is going to be affected by the fact that I wouldn't let him wear dresses as a 3 yr old.

 

[LukenDC]

On the Moms panel a mom asked this question of the panel...

"Attending a character dinner with our 3 yo son who sometimes likes to be the prince & sometimes the princess- how will staff react to a boy dressed in the more girlie costumes? Will staff help us find a new seat if other guests make rude comments?"

Would you allow your son to dress up as a princess at Disney? Especially KNOWING ppl are probably going to stare or make comments? Or would you go with the flow and let the little guy be a princess and not care what other ppl say and do?

People need to mind their own business. If this family wants to allow their son to wear a princess costume, then that is their business. A boy voluntarily wearing a princess costume hurts no one. I hope that the restaurant staff removes any patrons who make rude remarks or cause a commotion.