UPDATE Post 91! Does anyone else hate hosting overnight guests? Am I weird?

[minniecarousel]

We rarely have overnight guests. I only have one sibling who is not local. He and his wife have stayed in our guest room. His daughter has stayed here on an air mattress, which now has a slow leak! A cousin & his wife have been invited to stay with us or one sister who has a guest room. They'll be here for Christmas to see his daughter & her family, but his ex-wife now lives with the daughter. So that won't fly!

I live for when our son, daughter-in-law & grandson visit!

All that said, I wouldn't have been happy with a relative TELL me that they'd be staying with me!

 

[manning]

Oh tell them it's OK but since we will not be home the key is under the door mat.....then don't leave the key. You've got to be subtle, right?

 

[dotfurio]

I don't like having guests, and I prefer staying in a hotel. I need my down time to not be "on" and to not have to micromangage my kids according to someone elses standards.

 

[Owlpost23]

Me: Awesome! That's only about 20 minutes from my house

You're so from here! The minutes thing gave it away-it's never miles!

 

[hereyago]

I am with the despise having houseguests and I also prefer not to be a houseguests. I dont like having my every day mojo interrupted. And I prefer not to mess up anyonr mojo.

Years ago, two friends were coming home for a reunion. One friend told the other friend he could stay at my house. Um no. They wanted my house as a hide away for them to hace an adulterous hook up(no, get a room)

 

[crazymama]

I'm kind of on the fence here. I don't love having overnighters but I will put up with it. I really hate staying with others besides my very immediate family and have been known to offend by getting a hotel room VS staying with them. Whatever...

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't mind overnight guests.

However I do mind rude guests who invite themselves and then get snippy with me.

 

[scrapquitler]

I despise hosting people overnight in my home. I don't have a specific reason, I just don't enjoy it. I don't like being an overnight guest either. We get hotel rooms wherever we visit.

I love spending time with out of town friends, but when it is bedtime I will bid you farewell. I don't want to wake up with you in my house.

Well, I just received an email from a cousin. Her son is in a long weekend basketball tournament in December in my home town. They live 2 hours away and she "will be crashing at our house, as hotel rooms are not covered for parents". I was floored. First of all, who tells someone they are staying at your house for three nights? She didn't even ask. She told. Secondly, we have a wedding on that Saturday that she plans on "crashing" at my home.

I politely wrote her back and said that we were unable to host her and her husband, as we would be gone to a wedding that Saturday.

She wrote back and said that us being gone was "Not a problem. Just leave us a key".

Now I am annoyed.

I wrote her back and said "We aren't comfortable doing that." And I gave her a list of hotels nearby.

She wrote back that I should be ashamed of myself for not wanting to help them save money on a hotel when I am right in the same town with empty bedrooms. And that I have "control issues" if I can't even handle having a guests for the weekend".

So, I am done with her. I have no use for someone like that. I don't feel badly. It is not my job to help her save money. Don't sign your child up for a travel league if you can't afford to travel.

But it got me thinking, am I wrong for not opening my home up to overnight guests? Do you have an open door policy for out of town guests?

Does anyone else hate having guests stay overnight(s)? And why do you hate it? Am I a freak?

First: You are not a control freak
Second: she is very rude to invite herself
Third: she is even ruder to say that you are rude for not wanting her to stay there when you won't even be home!

I don't like having people stay over, either. I don't even like having people over for dinner. My home is my sanctuary where I can hide from people. Why would I want them in my sanctuary?

And I also dislike staying at anyone else's house. I'm not comfortable and I feel like I am intruding. I would much rather pay to stay in a hotel than in someone else's house.

 

[tarheel618]

I despise hosting people overnight in my home. I don't have a specific reason, I just don't enjoy it. I don't like being an overnight guest either. We get hotel rooms wherever we visit.

I love spending time with out of town friends, but when it is bedtime I will bid you farewell. I don't want to wake up with you in my house.

Well, I just received an email from a cousin. Her son is in a long weekend basketball tournament in December in my home town. They live 2 hours away and she "will be crashing at our house, as hotel rooms are not covered for parents". I was floored. First of all, who tells someone they are staying at your house for three nights? She didn't even ask. She told. Secondly, we have a wedding on that Saturday that she plans on "crashing" at my home.

I politely wrote her back and said that we were unable to host her and her husband, as we would be gone to a wedding that Saturday.

She wrote back and said that us being gone was "Not a problem. Just leave us a key".

Now I am annoyed.

I wrote her back and said "We aren't comfortable doing that." And I gave her a list of hotels nearby.

She wrote back that I should be ashamed of myself for not wanting to help them save money on a hotel when I am right in the same town with empty bedrooms. And that I have "control issues" if I can't even handle having a guests for the weekend".

So, I am done with her. I have no use for someone like that. I don't feel badly. It is not my job to help her save money. Don't sign your child up for a travel league if you can't afford to travel.

But it got me thinking, am I wrong for not opening my home up to overnight guests? Do you have an open door policy for out of town guests?

Does anyone else hate having guests stay overnight(s)? And why do you hate it? Am I a freak?

I don't like them either and your cousin is beyond rude. Good job saying NO

 

[mefordis]

I would have let her stay. As you go through life the people in your circle thin more and more. it's worth the trade off to be inconvenienced a little in order to maintain relationships.

You are not wrong, but people do get back what they give.

 

[DisAuntie]

I hate overnight guests. I am an introvert and I like my private time. It is difficult for me to be "on" all the time. I need to be away from people to re-charge and my home is my sanctuary. I want to put on my pj's and watch TV with my family and not have to entertain anyone, not have to talk to anyone, not have to keep the kitchen neat, not have to retreat to my room because I need a break. Maybe it's the introvert in me, but I really don't like anyone in my space, except DH and kiddos!

I also hate staying with family and MUCH prefer a hotel. I don't like being in someones house because I feel like I am intruding. If I want a drink, I feel like I am sneaking around the kitchen because I don't want to bother the hosts for a drink. I feel like I can't get up until the hosts are up. I just don't like it.

This is exactly how I feel about overnight guests. Unless I married you or gave birth to you, I don't want you in my house overnight.

 

[bethbuchall]

I don't like overnight guests other than my adult children and their significant others. Part of it is that we have a really small house with no guest room. My youngest is still in the bedroom that he and my oldest shared, so only my daughter's room is available. It's not really set up as a guest room. The other part is that I'm very introverted and get uncomfortable when people are around too long. I'm never quite sure what to do with them or if I'm being inhospitable, and it feels awkward to me. (I realize that this is a hang-up of mine, but it does make hosting or staying with someone else uncomfortable.) But we don't really have anyone who wants to come visit us anyway, so that works out. We mostly only visit my parents, and I'm mostly comfortable staying in their house, so that works, too. My adult son and his wife have stayed here when we've been gone, and I'm fine with that.

I can't imagine any of my cousins ever telling me that they were coming and were planning to stay with us. If for some reason, they did need to come here for a tournament or something, I'd invite them to stay (with a few warnings about the size of the house and the lack of accommodations) and put up with my discomfort for a few nights.

 

[mombrontrent]

This is exactly how I feel about overnight guests. Unless I married you or gave birth to you, I don't want you in my house overnight.

Just out of curiosity how do you feel about your kids having friends sleep over if they are an age where that is happening. Just because I feel like when my kids have friends stay over I'm not really hosting. They can have friends stay over whenever and I don't go out of my way or break my normal routines to all so I don't care at all.

 

[Saimaeve]

I'm not a fan of it. Unless they're really good friends. Even our parents would probably stay at a hotel if they came to visit. (We're not close to our parents)

I work from home, so my home is also my office. I sometimes have to take calls at 6 am and give presentations that early. I need quiet for that. There are times I have to focus on work at night and can't entertain then either.

If we go visit people, we usually book a hotel room. I have 2 friends that I would stay with but we're very close and those trips are few and far between. I'd have them stay here.

 

[DisAuntie]

Just out of curiosity how do you feel about your kids having friends sleep over if they are an age where that is happening. Just because I feel like when my kids have friends stay over I'm not really hosting. They can have friends stay over whenever and I don't go out of my way or break my normal routines to all so I don't care at all.

My children rarely have friends stay over, for different reasons, but yes, one of them is I don't like having anyone other than immediate family in our home. It disrupts our routine and makes me uncomfortable. We have a small home and no room for any extra people.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

While I don't mind overnight guests I do mind being "told" I am having them. That would have led to an automatic "sorry my extra beds have already been spoken for that weekend."

If she had asked there would have been no problem.

 

[Bluestars]

I prefer staying in a hotel when I visit people. Hotels are always much more comfortable and I like my space. I don't mind overnight guests in my house. I would have a huge problem with somebody telling me that I will have an overnight guest. I am an adult and refuse to be told what to do. That would make me not want to have those people in my house. It's rude to invite yourself.

 

[mom2rtk]

Maybe some of my feelings come from having live in nannies in my home for 5 years. What an awful experience. I'm sure we were as much at fault for it being a negative experience as our au pairs were, but ugh, it was miserable.

Did someone force you to have a nanny in your home for 5 years?

 

[xlxo]

I value my privacy and I have friends who have a similar opinion. When I travel.... I budget a motel, especially if I cannot afford a hotel. I don't want to set a precedent where my home is open to others. Expedia is my friend.

While I draw the line at having overnight guests. I do welcome and entertain out of town relatives with transportation (minivan rentals), sightseeing admission and food assistance when visiting. Most appreciate this offering. I have other family in town... in their senior years (and old ways), they welcome the overnight shelter responsibilities. It's a nice trade off.

Her son is in a long weekend basketball tournament in December in my home town. They live 2 hours away and she "will be crashing at our house, as hotel rooms are not covered for parents".

2 hours away??? I spend more time packing and trying to adjust to everyone's schedule in the single working bathroom. There is no time saved for me by moving into someone else's home.

Tell them you have a bed bug problem. I have a rat issue I've been dealing with for nearly a year. Need to set up more rat traps in and outside the home.

 

[mom2rtk]

We don't have overnight guests except for kids' sleepovers. There are times of the year when those happen every weekend. We have never had other kids their age in the neighborhood, so overnights were the best way to get the most friend time. It was an integral and fun part of their childhoods.