The "SUPPORT OUR PRESIDENT" Thread

[tekmom]

Are you kidding, that was nothing. A true Bush Apologist is willing to go to virtually any length to defend the honor of George W Bush.

For instance, I got my Grandmother fired 6 weeks before she was eligible for her pension when she had the nerve to suggest there might be no Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. It doesn’t matter that she has since been proved correct. The fact remains that she had the gall to question our President in a time of war. And until she apologizes for the comfort she has brought our enemies, she can stay in that homeless shelter.

 

[crcormier]

 

[MossMan]

Attention All Bush Apologists
You are directed to read the following announcement.​

By now you have seen the video that shows President Bush being briefed about the levees being breached in New Orleans only to state a few days later he had no idea that this could happen. It would seem as if the President was caught in a bold-faced-lie. But don’t worry. The President learned his lesson from Katrina and unlike his response to that disaster, Bush is way out ahead on this video issue. Anticipating exactly this type of leak, the President has already taken the precaution of putting together a crack team to examine the video and formulate a set of talking point designed to draw attention away from any perceived untruths.

If asked about this incident, all Bush Apologists are directed to answer in the following manner:

1. Distract the questioner by pointing to a birdie in the tree and then quickly changing the subject to Senator Kerry’s wartime record.
2. Just like all torture is not bad torture, casually suggest that not all lies are bad lies.
3. Ask the person exactly when it was they started hating America.
4. Tell the questioner that you saw the “UNEDITED” version of the video where the Secret Service had to physically restrain the President from flying to New Orleans to fill sand bags himself. (Before using number 4 it is suggested the Bush Apologist first practice keeping a straight face.)
5. Pointedly ask the person where Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton were during the storm.
6. Point out that if a Middle Eastern company were running our Ports, this disaster would never would have happened.
7. Bend down to tie you shoes then crawl away quietly so the questioner doesn’t see you leave.

 

[ilovepcot]

Are you kidding, that was nothing. A true Bush Apologist is willing to go to virtually any length to defend the honor of George W Bush.

For instance, I got my Grandmother fired 6 weeks before she was eligible for her pension when she had the nerve to suggest there might be no Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. It doesn’t matter that she has since been proved correct. The fact remains that she had the gall to question our President in a time of war. And until she apologizes for the comfort she has brought our enemies, she can stay in that homeless shelter.

Ah yes, I'm beginning to see the light now. Hmmmm.....I do admit I've had my head up my butt. The more posts of yours I read, the more impressed I become! Say, would you drop by for a visit with DH and me next time you're in FL? We're impressionable and need someone to mold us. Oh pleeze....say you'll come!

 

[bubie2.5]

 

[MossMan]

... Say, would you drop by for a visit with DH and me next time you're in FL? We're impressionable and need someone to mold us. Oh pleeze....say you'll come!

I would be flattered to join you and your husband. I will warn you, though, that my duties as a Bush Apologist sometimes force me to make last minute changes to any plans I make.

So while I dearly would love to join you and your family in Orlando, I would have to cancel if Dick Cheney should choose that time to shoot any more old men in the face. I would also have to call the trip off if another video surfaces portraying President Bush as a disinterested leader who thinks nothing of lying to the American People. I should also warn you that I am on the quick response team that has been assigned to Apologize for Bush should he decide to transfer Airport Security to a firm from Saudi Arabia.

You know what, given my responsibilities, maybe its best I turn down your offer altogether and stay home. The probability that I am going to have to apologize for our President will undoubtedly remain high for the next couple of years. Maybe I can think about your offer again after the elections in 2008.

 

[eclectics]

Attention All Bush Apologists
You are directed to read the following announcement.​

By now you have seen the video that shows President Bush being briefed about the levees being breached in New Orleans only to state a few days later he had no idea that this could happen. It would seem as if the President was caught in a bold-faced-lie. But don’t worry. The President learned his lesson from Katrina and unlike his response to that disaster, Bush is way out ahead on this video issue. Anticipating exactly this type of leak, the President has already taken the precaution of putting together a crack team to examine the video and formulate a set of talking point designed to draw attention away from any perceived untruths.

If asked about this incident, all Bush Apologists are directed to answer in the following manner:

1. Distract the questioner by pointing to a birdie in the tree and then quickly changing the subject to Senator Kerry’s wartime record.
2. Just like all torture is not bad torture, casually suggest that not all lies are bad lies.
3. Ask the person exactly when it was they started hating America.
4. Tell the questioner that you saw the “UNEDITED” version of the video where the Secret Service had to physically restrain the President from flying to New Orleans to fill sand bags himself. (Before using number 4 it is suggested the Bush Apologist first practice keeping a straight face.)
5. Pointedly ask the person where Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton were during the storm.
6. Point out that if a Middle Eastern company were running our Ports, this disaster would never would have happened.
7. Bend down to tie you shoes then crawl away quietly so the questioner doesn’t see you leave.

I love it! Keep 'em coming MossMan!

 

[barbeml]

Thanks MossMan! You made my day!!

 

[Planogirl]

Mossman, you're a funny guy.

Does anyone else like Jon Stewart?

"President Bush asked Congress yesterday for an additional $82 billion in emergency spending for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. If granted, it would put the cost of the war in Iraq at about $200 billion, which I believe is around exactly what they told us the war would cost when they started the war two years ago. [Clip of USAID Administrator Andrew Natsios: 'The American part of this will be $1.7 billion. We have no plans for any further funding on this. ... In terms of the American tax payer contributions this is it for the U.S.'] Well, to be fair, 2003 dollars, if you adjust it for inflation, it is only $198 billion off, with a margin of error of we have no idea what we are doing." --Jon Stewart

"Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons. The Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States." --Jon Stewart on North Korea's nuclear weapons program

"All in all, 16 Texas oil refineries remain shut down after the storms. Analysts say it's the worst thing to happen to the Texas oil industry since George W. Bush worked in it." --Jon Stewart, on the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita

I'm a big fan and this thread felt right.

 

[eclectics]

Mossman, you're a funny guy.

Does anyone else like Jon Stewart?







I'm a big fan and this thread felt right.

Jon Stewart is great, and I love Bill Maher. Funny men, and they make sense to boot.

 

[scubamouse]

Since I love both Jon Stewart and Bill Maher, I thought I'd share last week's 'New Rules' here

It's now time for New Rules, everybody.

All right. New Rule: Powerball Jackpot winners must stop saying they're not sure if they're going to quit their jobs. Of course you're going to quit your job. And I have news for you. Your co-workers want you to quit your job. Nobody wants to be on the pork-processing line next to the unbearable *** in the Gucci smock.

New Rule: Ice dancing is not a sport. Take away the skates and the sequins and it's just a public wife-beating. If you saw this happening in a trailer park, you'd call the cops.

New Rule: If you're too lazy to peel your own fruit, get scurvy and die! Hoping to appeal to teenagers who say they're too busy to peel oranges, Sunkist is introducing a new pre-cut, pre-peeled snack version. Not to be outdone, Baskin-Robbins has created a new cone-less ice cream that your mother pre-chews and spits down your throat.

New Rule: Since our new national position on science is, "Screw it, we prefer witchcraft," let's not just retire the Space Shuttle Atlantis. Let's drive it to one of the five stupidest states and have the locals beat it with sticks. Putting it in a museum is too dangerous. Someone could steal it, fly it into space and notice we revolve around the sun. They almost booed that, I noticed.

New Rule: Paula Abdul must go back on drugs. "American Idol" will always have a place in my heart. It's where I met Clay. And what could be more exciting than televised karaoke? But everyone knows the show is most entertaining when Paula is thick-tongued and sleepy-eyed and poised on the brink of yelling, "Who wants to do me?!"

And finally, New Rule: When a woman over 60 has a baby, it's not a miracle from God. It's a miracle from genetic engineers, fertility experts and the good people at Merck. Here in California last week, a 62-year-old woman with 11 children, 20 grandchildren and three great grandchildren, gave birth again. To a 40-year-old man who walked out.

At an age when most women are content to putter around the garden or perform the opening number at the Grammys- -Janise Wulf, age 62, told the press at a news conference, "Age is a number. Every time you revolutionize something, there's going to be naysayers." To which the reporters replied, "We're over here!"

And, lady, let me tell you something. You're not a revolutionary. You're a ****** with no off switch. Twelve kids? Let me guess. You're either a Catholic or a hamster. Look, I don't want to be the one to say that this lady is too old and she's already had enough children. But, this lady is too old and she's already had enough children!

Hey, when you're 62 and you want children, you have two choices: a) in vitro fertilization, or b) luring them into a house made out of candy.

But, in vitro fertilization is not for 62-year-old grandmothers. It's for 35-year-old lesbians.

MANJI: Too old for that.

GLOVER: I'm too old.

MANJI: Been there, done that.

MAHER: I know a little about this subject, because I recently patented a vibrating turkey-baster—ribbed for her enjoyment. And to everybody who came to my last Thanksgiving, I'm very sorry about the mix-up.

Look, I wouldn't make such a big thing out of it, but it turns out Ms. Wulf is not the first over-60-year-old to have a baby in the last decade. There is a virtual epidemic of granny-sluts who insist on squeezing out children who, when they get older, will face many uncomfortable moments, like when it's parents' day at school and the kid shows up with an urn.

Why is creating life under any conditions whatsoever so applauded when there are already millions of unwanted kids around the world? And Angelina Jolie can't save them all! In fact, somebody has got to tell this chick that sometimes when you go to a foreign country, it's okay just to bring home a tee-shirt.

I mean, it's not a crime to be an old lady, is it? In fact, one of the great things about it is that when you have sex, you don't have to worry about getting pregnant. It's like being gay, but not as cool. So don't think of it as being barren. Think of it as "Brokehip Mountain."

 

[Planogirl]

Since I love both Jon Stewart and Bill Maher, I thought I'd share last week's 'New Rules' here

I'm still giggling over the Paula Abdul comment.

 

[Susan-Storm]

Oh Come on. the president is a person too. imagine..having the whole world hate you for your decisions. that is a tough thing to go through if i do say so myself

 

[damo]

I'm still giggling over the Paula Abdul comment.

That was her tonight wasn't it!!! I wonder who's getting lucky, Sway or David???