S/O..have you ever had a thread go south on you?

[Pea-n-Me]

I think the lesson I learned from posting here is that there are so many people from different walks of life here, in terms of locations, ages, and backgrounds and such, that what one assumes when they're posting can be challenged when you least expect it by people with other views, and it can be a bit shocking at first, because a lot of us day-to-day are used to communicating with people who think similarly to how we do, so when people with different views challenge our thoughts and opinions, it's quickly very eye opening. (ie aka thread going south.) But I think that's also the thing that's kept me here - I enjoy hearing others' perspectives and learning new things, getting to know personalities, etc., so I try not to get upset, but more appreciate when someone has a different opinion than I do, although, for me, a lot depends on how someone says something. Anyway, I think there are a lot of good people here and I wonder how they compare in person to their posting personas. I think a lot of people would probably have us surprised, and probably in a good way.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We are a nation of trolls behind screens.

This is tag-worthy.

 

[elaine amj]

I think the lesson I learned from posting here is that there are so many people from different walks of life here, in terms of locations, ages, and backgrounds and such, that what one assumes when they're posting can be challenged when you least expect it by people with other views, and it can be a bit shocking at first, because a lot of us day-to-day are used to communicating with people who think similarly to how we do, so when people with different views challenge our thoughts and opinions, it's quickly very eye opening. (ie aka thread going south.) But I think that's also the thing that's kept me here - I enjoy hearing others' perspectives and learning new things, getting to know personalities, etc., so I try not to get upset, but more appreciate when someone has a different opinion than I do, although, for me, a lot depends on how someone says something. Anyway, I think there are a lot of good people here and I wonder how they compare in person to their posting personas. I think a lot of people would probably have us surprised, and probably in a good way.

I used to be in a forum where I knew most people personally. The ones who were the strongest, loudest, most strident and argumentative were quiet folks in real life with no hint of an argumentative nature. I would never have dreamed they would be what they were on the forums.

Also, I agree that I like the hear the various viewpoints. I learn a LOT about how people think about things. Many, many viewpoints I would never have considered on my own. Also helps me learn a lot about the nuances of etiquette as well as cultural expectations (I try to pay a lot of attention to this as I didn't grow up here)

 

[jevs]

I used to be in a forum where I knew most people personally. The ones who were the strongest, loudest, most strident and argumentative were quiet folks in real life with no hint of an argumentative nature. I would never have dreamed they would be what they were on the forums.

Also, I agree that I like the hear the various viewpoints. I learn a LOT about how people think about things. Many, many viewpoints I would never have considered on my own. Also helps me learn a lot about the nuances of etiquette as well as cultural expectations (I try to pay a lot of attention to this as I didn't grow up here)

Aye, I've noticed that lots of things can be regional. Especially when people are disagreeing.

 

[indimom]

Yes, I once went on a rant (I was a lot distressed/worried/scared at the time), spoke out of turn, and Dis at large called me out for it. Honestly, it really was my issue and I deserved to be called on it. I'm embarrassed knowing that thread still exists out in cyberspace...

 

[Kitty 34]

I learned quickly never to be concerned about my DIL and her habits while being on vacation!! I was dragged to the ends of the earth on that one!!

 

[L&Lfan]

Since political and religious discussion are verboten, the "gone south" threads keep the community board interesting around here, imo.

 

[sam_gordon]

I used to be in a forum where I knew most people personally. The ones who were the strongest, loudest, most strident and argumentative were quiet folks in real life with no hint of an argumentative nature. I would never have dreamed they would be what they were on the forums.

This brings up the question, are those people truly argumentative or truly quiet? While I'm sure there are people posting just to cause arguments (some might accuse me of doing so), sometimes people do need to be called out for how they act/what they say. But often we are too "peaceful" (for lack of a better word) IRL to say what we really think.

I'll give you a prime example... I think it's ridiculous that people will claim their pets are "therapy" animals so they can take them anywhere. I have no problem saying that online. However, a family I know just adapted a puppy. The day they picked up the puppy, they said they were going to have him declared a therapy dog so they can take him on road trips and hotels can't charge them more for having a pet. Of course, I kept quiet. I wanted to say something, but I'm going to be dealing with this family in person and don't want to "rock the boat".

 

[Liberty Belle]

Oh yeah! lol

I don't seem to be irritating as many people lately.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I used to be in a forum where I knew most people personally. The ones who were the strongest, loudest, most strident and argumentative were quiet folks in real life with no hint of an argumentative nature. I would never have dreamed they would be what they were on the forums.

Also, I agree that I like the hear the various viewpoints. I learn a LOT about how people think about things. Many, many viewpoints I would never have considered on my own. Also helps me learn a lot about the nuances of etiquette as well as cultural expectations (I try to pay a lot of attention to this as I didn't grow up here)

For the record, I am absolutely as disagreeable in real life as I am here - in case anyone wondered LOL

 

[rastahomie]

Sure. One time, the topic of my mother came up, and while my mother is a flawed woman (and guess what: you're a flawed woman/man, I'm a flawed man, your kids are flawed, your parents are flawed, everyone is flawed), she's not the evil hag that the thread sort of made her look like. And I'm not a sniveling weenie for putting up with it. I left the thread after a while (arguing on the internet is like playing chess with a pigeon: you may win, but your opponent is just going to knock over the pieces and poop on the board), but obviously I didn't leave the DIS.

In another thread, my personal vices came up, and while most participants in the thread ignored my personal vices, a few others were judgmental about it. C'est la vie.

 

[smiths02]

Another thread bump reminded me--I've had one WORD go south.

There's a thread about Hamilton where I mentioned it takes a lot for "fiction" to make me cry. I was using it as an umbrella term for musicals, movies, television shows, books, etc, and wow, people really don't like it when you use that word about Hamilton. (They're confusing "includes historical events" with "documentary".)

Every time I get a new alert on the thread I just sigh.

I've not started a lot of threads that aren't asking a specific Disney question.

But I have seen my words being over analyzed. I am not a terribly assertive person IRL, so I'm sure to a very assertive person, I might come off as someone who lets herself be walked over or someone I complain about might come off as not really loving me or being a terrible person, etc. I'm also a bit cautious and pessimistic, so that can come off wrong (on-line or in-person).

I also agree with other posters that I might say more online than I would in person, and I'm not trying to be nasty online, but I just might be more blunt. For instance, there is a person that I know (not very well) who just got a divorce within the last year and she is now dating and constantly posting and talking in person about how much she loves her new guy (who has kids impacted by his previous divorce). I would never say to her or post to her FB that I think she needs to slow down, and she hasn't asked my advice. (I just try to look happy for her and not scared.) If she started a thread on here asking advice, though, I would say she needs to slow down.

 

[DizBelle]

I got points years and years ago for a reply that someone else made to a thread I started. Still trying to figure that one out. I've always found discussion to be healthy and educational. Some others do not.

I've found that here on the DIS there are many that don't like discussion. Of course, that has me wondering why they're on a discussion board.....

 

[Micca]

(arguing on the internet is like playing chess with a pigeon: you may win, but your opponent is just going to knock over the pieces and poop on the board

 

[robinb]

I've never had one of my own threads go completely south, but I have been known to "help" threads go in that direction .

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Aye, I've noticed that lots of things can be regional. Especially when people are disagreeing.

Very very very seldom are things regional. I mean yeah certain things done in the midwest are different than in the south for example, certain things done in the U.S. are different than Europe or Australia.....but the more and more I see people say "must be a regional thing" the more it seems it's taken on a sarcastic tone rather than a practical.

This brings up the question, are those people truly argumentative or truly quiet? While I'm sure there are people posting just to cause arguments (some might accuse me of doing so), sometimes people do need to be called out for how they act/what they say. But often we are too "peaceful" (for lack of a better word) IRL to say what we really think.

I'll give you a prime example... I think it's ridiculous that people will claim their pets are "therapy" animals so they can take them anywhere. I have no problem saying that online. However, a family I know just adapted a puppy. The day they picked up the puppy, they said they were going to have him declared a therapy dog so they can take him on road trips and hotels can't charge them more for having a pet. Of course, I kept quiet. I wanted to say something, but I'm going to be dealing with this family in person and don't want to "rock the boat".

I'm basically as outspoken in real life as I am on the DIS. But I'm generally not a mean person. I know I can say many things that would end up or has the possibility of hurting a person in real life and over the internet...I choose not to say it. Sometimes things come out harsher than I mean them to but it's clear there is a certain level some posters are on. I've always wondered if those posters on that certain level got points because what I've read on this thread and many other threads sometimes I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how that got a person point. FWIW I'm not in the habit of reporting posts (I've reported one other than the SPAM ones and warned another poster that their comment was easily reportable) but I have noticed others are pretty quick to report posts.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think I might have. I'm not really sure if people took it that way or not, though?

I'd asked a pretty specific question, but quite quickly, people had jumped to answering bigger, more "loaded" (for lack of a better term) questions --- as sometimes happens here. I would have completely let it go, but someone else asked a side question and apologized for hijacking and, in answering that poster, I basically replied "take the thread, it's yours!"

I hadn't meant it to be a big scene, wasn't leaving the DIS or anything. I wanted to say that they needn't apologize. - Basically, I had tried and failed to get an answer to my question, but if someone else was helped, more power to them! But I was kind of in hurried, snappy mood, feeling misunderstood, and it probably came off all wrong. I definitely wondered afterward if people were somewhere talking about me.

 

[smiths02]

OASN, I have learned to never start a thread with a complaint about anything (especially Disney). I don't think I've done it, but I see those go downhill fast.
Some of the blame will always be on the OP at least by some of the people. Or some people will offer no sympathy even if they don't blame you.
I have "complained" in posts asking for reviews or in my own review that included positive and negative, but I will never start a thread with a complaint about my family, Disney, other guests at Disney, etc.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Very very very seldom are things regional. I mean yeah certain things done in the midwest are different than in the south for example, certain things done in the U.S. are different than Europe or Australia.....but the more and more I see people say "must be a regional thing" the more it seems it's taken on a sarcastic tone rather than a practical.

I think you're right, it has become sort of a joke to say, "It must be regional". But I do think it's true pretty often. An example I can think of off the top of my head is about animal regulations. Basically, they vary by state. So what can be true for one poster's dog keeping can be very untrue for another's. Same with many other laws and customs, etc. Some of my favorite threads here of all time have been about some of the regional differences here in the U.S. I have lived in one state all my life, so I find them pretty fascinating. I also like to see, if it's a subject I'm interested in, how it works where I live. Probably a nerd that way, lol.

I'm basically as outspoken in real life as I am on the DIS. But I'm generally not a mean person. I know I can say many things that would end up or has the possibility of hurting a person in real life and over the internet...I choose not to say it. Sometimes things come out harsher than I mean them to but it's clear there is a certain level some posters are on. I've always wondered if those posters on that certain level got points because what I've read on this thread and many other threads sometimes I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how that got a person point. FWIW I'm not in the habit of reporting posts (I've reported one other than the SPAM ones and warned another poster that their comment was easily reportable) but I have noticed others are pretty quick to report posts.

I've gotten points for starring out a word like this (****), for starting a thread that wasn't "family friendly", and another poster and I both got points for arguing with eachother. (Hey, sometimes we all lose our stuff.) So I do try to avoid doing those things when I can now, haha. (IRL, no way! I love a good debate! And I'm not above using colorful language or talking about taboo subjects!) As far as what got people points goes, often, I think, from my observations, it's personal insults. You can argue/discuss/debate a point, but you can't throw personal insults in, such as "You're a racist" or "Your views are racist". (Something we see here very often, particularly from one or two people.) I think it's sort of an informal challenge to present your viewpoint intelligently, and without hurling personal insults. (And there are many posters here who do this really well! I think you do a good job of it, Mackenzie! Even if you get a little "wordy" sometimes, like I do, too!)

 

[kimblebee]

It's funny to me that I call recall most of the threads being mentioned.

I'm a little disappointed that no one has taken this thread and run with it