our secret green club? Part 8

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up.
The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shah! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"

 

[katlas&kids]

Today's thread post:

Who Posted?
Total Posts: 45,417
User Name Posts
stinkerbelle's mom 4,914
crossfamily 3,259
rer1972 3,158
katlas&kids 3,140
Va-bear 3,004
Donald - my hero 2,634
pixie dust 112 2,579
kaw1218 2,295
DISUNC 2,127
SleepingBeautyDreamr 1,959
bigsis1970 1,387
LizzySwan1022 1,347
TOT_Princess_412 1,188
nsalz 1,143
cynderella 852
Princess89 830
MrOakie 779
dwheatl 705
hockeymomoftwo 610
TaraLee4 493
uhtimex 394
hrh_disney_queen 337
jmmelvin 268
flying_babyb 227
LgTmDisFan 193
Pixie Tales 172
WinniethePooh93 158
PigletFairy 157
nightowlky 145
TOT_Boy_ 130
pfishgirl 63

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain."
"Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

''Doctor doctor I think I need glasses'' ''you certainly do this is a fish and chip shop.''

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

I just had a thought. Lord help me if the Tag Fairy decides to tag me with one of my jokes

 

[katlas&kids]

I FINALLY got some LGMHPC's!!!!! I have been watching the Behr deliveries for over a week now, and I finally snagged them!!!!

But don't forget to let the accounting department know how many!

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Bumper stickers:

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Next time you think you're perfect...
...try walking on water

Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

It's okay, I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?

Jesus. Don't leave earth without him.

Eve was framed.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full -- Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me

Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit

Where Are We Going and Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.

Boldly Going Nowhere

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends

How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

 

[kaw1218]

But don't forget to let the accounting department know how many!

25.....still in the package

 

[kaw1218]

ok....off to sleep I go....I hope....
Catch ya'll later!!!!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

So...I haven't gone to bed yet.....in less than 4 hours my kids will be home..... hmmmm.....
anyway, I am sitting here debating whether or not I want to volunteer for Extreme Home Makeover....... they are doing a home about a mile from my house. I guess I will go tomorrow and see if they need anyone else.

go do it, you will feel so good about it. Tell Ty his Limey PEEPs say hello!

 

[kaw1218]

go do it, you will feel so good about it. Tell Ty his Limey PEEPs say hello!

I know....I like the idea of volunteering....but I am going to see if my boss will let me cut a few hours of work..... and of coarse there is Ty

 

[bigsis1970]

Hey guys wanted to share with you my son won another game today.. He won the Adray Suburban Championship game.... We get to go away to yet another hockey tournament... Yep St. Patrick's day we are off to midland, MI which is about 2 1/2 hours from where we live and the weekend after we are headed to royal oak, mi which is 45 minutes from our house.. Here is their team picture...

Hey RER & Michelle we won in double overtime with less than a minute on the buzzer.. What a stressful game...

HEY T that is sweet !!!! I bet the boys were super excited over that win!!! You are still soo busy with hockey - I am kind of floundering here without much of it.. I do this at the end of every season really I am just soo used of being on the go all the time with it that when it drops of I just am lost! haa

I think someone wanted details --- well we talked on the phone (not exactly DPS either) and he already made plans for Fri & all day Sat .. so maybe we'll get together on Sunday (after I drop the kids at daddy's for the week) have to wait and see I guess.

Hugs Peeps !!! Xo Michellel

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

 

[kaw1218]

HEY T that is sweet !!!! I bet the boys were super excited over that win!!! You are still soo busy with hockey - I am kind of floundering here without much of it.. I do this at the end of every season really I am just soo used of being on the go all the time with it that when it drops of I just am lost! haa

I think someone wanted details --- well we talked on the phone (not exactly DPS either) and he already made plans for Fri & all day Sat .. so maybe we'll get together on Sunday (after I drop the kids at daddy's for the week) have to wait and see I guess.

Hugs Peeps !!! Xo Michellel

oooooo....not EXACTLY DPS???????

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

25.....still in the package

Ooooooh Collectors Items

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

HEY T that is sweet !!!! I bet the boys were super excited over that win!!! You are still soo busy with hockey - I am kind of floundering here without much of it.. I do this at the end of every season really I am just soo used of being on the go all the time with it that when it drops of I just am lost! haa

I think someone wanted details --- well we talked on the phone (not exactly DPS either) and he already made plans for Fri & all day Sat .. so maybe we'll get together on Sunday (after I drop the kids at daddy's for the week) have to wait and see I guess.

Hugs Peeps !!! Xo Michellel

That's great Michelle! Is it the one you were talking about or a new guy? Hope things work out!

Sorry you're feeling a little lost after hockey, but take some time to enjoy the peace!!!

 

[kaw1218]

Ooooooh Collectors Items

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Mr. Shonu had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. 'Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve,' he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, 'Blame your predecessor.' The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, 'Reorganize.' This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, 'Prepare three envelopes.'

 

[kaw1218]

ok...I am REALLY leaving this time.........

Bye all!!! have a great day!!!