Just need to vent.......

[Daitcher]

I am sorry, Dave - you didnt specifically say for her to shut up or stop griping so I shouldn't put words in your mouth.

However, I do feel like that is the intent of your post and I find it quite sad that its ok for you to say VERY negative things about SSR for example and get pretty peeved when the rest of us ask you to stick to your opinions and not use such harsh sounding words that are not really necessary and the first time someone else vents you jump - quite negatively again.

I dont get it...but me putting words in your mouth is not right either.

No need for apologies here. I am certainly not telling ther OP to shut up. Just doing a little venting of my own. NOWHERE in the OP did she state clearly that her name and her friends name should be listed on the ressie. She just assumed that since she called her name would be listed. Never assume anything. It is your ressie, tell the CM what to do. In short I feel she dropped the ball here. Fine, call back MS and have the names changed. Now it morphed into discrimination. For the final time people, ressies are computer generated. Do you really think computers discriminate? As for my prior comments about SSR, I posted my honest feelings and people bashed me. I dealt with it just fine. She posted her feelings and I am exercising my right to disagree. I just disagree a little stronger this time. Sorry if it comes accross so strong. Real discrimination occurs every day in this country. To even use those words in the OP context is unfair to everyone who has been a victim of discrimination. A simple error discrimination is not.


DAVE


DAVE

 

[Daitcher]

icy-dog, I'm 20 years younger than you. I worked for one man who wouldn't hire a bad looking secretary because "I wouldn't want people to think I would sleep with that." I worked for another who admitted he wouldn't promote women into management because "they have babies and leave anyway." I went to a job interview and was told "don't worry about impressing us, you are only here because HR told us we needed to interview a girl." All of this has been in the past fifteen years.[/QUOTE]



First as a man, I'd like to aplogize that you had to go through any of that. Nobody should be treated that way. Part of the reason this post has generated so much interest both ways is because it hits home with many people. I just find it hard to fathom a computer generated reservation becoming a sexist thing. It is unfair to people like you, who have been victims to even try and say this is discimination. A simple error? YES Discimination or sexism? NO A final point: the OP stated she has a different last name than her husband? Why do you think that is? Maybe she has kids from a previous marriage and wants to maintain the same last name? Or is it more likely she is one of those women who thinks it is sexist to expect the women to change her name? I know where my money is. She seems way to sensitive to me. If all the women who have posted here stopeed trying to be sooo sensitive and nice they would have to agree.


DAVE

 

[Daitcher]

Sorry, but I just came across this thread now. I have to admit although I did not read every post,, I did read many.

I just wanted to say correspondence is one thing and I understand as many have said that they probably just use the first name written on the deed, etc. However, the op was first referrring to a reservation for a trip that her husband is not even going on. It does seem silly that they would not have the op's name on that reservation since she made it and it is for her and a friend. I, too, would be frustated with that and it has nothing to do with his name or my name, it would have to do with the fact that at check in his name would be on the reservation and he would not even be there and in my opinion it should have my name on it. Make sense??

I do hope they adjust your reservation and you and your friend have a great trip!!

How would they know he wasn't going? Are they mind readers? She never stated who the resie was for. She just thought it would be in her name. Is it that crazy that a CM would think a husband and wife would be traveling together?

DAVE

 

[JerJan]

DAITCHER this is for you..... First off not that it's any of your business, but I kept my last name beacuse of children, NOT because it's sexist to change my last name. My kids are VERY important to my husband and myself, this was a PERSONAL decision by both my husband and myself. And your CORRECT in saying you knows what happens when you ASSUME something....I need not say more about that.

I made the ressie for ME not for MY HUSBAND! Yes, when asked who was going to be using the ressie (which I was) I told MS it was going to be myselk and a guest. I even spelled my guests name (unusual name) and he commented on it, saying that was avery unusual name. I should have been more clear in my original posting regarding that fact. However, I made the ressie and for someone in MS to automatically ASSUME (there's that word again) that my husband would be using this ressie after the fact was just PLAIN WRONG!

As far as computers making mistakes your correct "computers don't make mistakes". Let me say though that a computer is only "AS SMART AS THE PERSON OPERATING IT!" It seems as though your computer must be operated by someone who "ASSUMES an AWFUL LOT!" There's that word again.............................................

 

[disgirl]

Dave, yes I agree they might assume she and her husband are going. However, when I made a reservation for dh, ds, and myself for Feb. of 06, I was asked who was going etc. and the reservation says my husband's name and address on top, however it says MY NAME for who it is CONFIRMED for. I made this reservation. My dh made a reservation for us for this August (I was unable to this time) and this reservation has his name in both sections. Again the reservation is for dh, ds, and myself.

I am NOT saying they would at all know to put a friend's name on the reservation, when that name was probably not given. However, when I have called I am usually asked "whom am I speaking to" toward the beginning of the call. When the op says "I would like to make a reservation", etc, you would assume they would put the reservation confirmation in her name, especially since her last name is different than her dh and she made the reservation. Oh well, just my opinion. Thanks.

 

[disgirl]

Sorry Jan. You type faster than me. LOL.

Have a good trip and do not let this thread make you crazy. Here's wishing you a good trip!

 

[dcfromva]

JerJan,
Check your contract and see who is listed as the "Principal Contact" . (See my post above). If your DH is the Principal Contact, then you will have to get it changed. (And there may be a fee of as much as $25.00)

Since Disney made a point of spelling out who the Principal Contact is and what priviledges the Principal Contact enjoys, it is not a gray area.

If your name is listed as the Principal Contact, then it seems like it would be a simple matter to call Member Services and remind them that you are the Principal Contact and please make sure that it is reflected correctly for all future correspondance.

If they fail to correct it, they are not doing something they specifically spelled out in the contract.
-DC

 

[MiaSRN62]

Daitcher says : Do you really think computers discriminate?

I really don't think any of think computers discriminate, but rather we're questioning the folks who input the information and institute the policy. Our main home mortgage, as well as our Vistana timeshare both place dh and myself on all mailings. Just wondering why DVC doesn't ? Sending coorespondence to the "primary" owner ----this is based only on the fact that DVC decided to list one name in front of the other name for whatever reason. My dh and I contribute equally yet the mail only arrives in his name.

How would they know he wasn't going? Are they mind readers?

Because I'm assuming when the OP called MS they asked her who was going to be staying in the room like they always do ? I thought CRO and MS was doing this as part of policy now ? I know they asked me in January when I made our ressies. To JerJan : I'm assuming you told MS it would be both you and your gf who were going to be staying in the room at the time of making the ressie ? I feel MS goofed by sending JerJan the ressie under her dh's name. As an example, we're letting our inlaws use our Vistana timeshare this year and Vistana specifically sent the ressie to both my bil/sil as well as a copy to us (as the owners). But my inlaws are specifically listed as the party staying in the villa.
I mean, this is not a huge problem by any means, but rather an unnecessary hassle for the OP who now has to call MS again and review the reservation when it should have been handled correctly in the first place imo.

 

[Dean]

I made the ressie for ME not for MY HUSBAND! Yes, when asked who was going to be using the ressie (which I was) I told MS it was going to be myselk and a guest. I even spelled my guests name (unusual name) and he commented on it, saying that was avery unusual name. I should have been more clear in my original posting regarding that fact. However, I made the ressie and for someone in MS to automatically ASSUME (there's that word again) that my husband would be using this ressie after the fact was just PLAIN WRONG!

It's not who's using the reservation. They send things the same way no matter what from a contact standpoint. There are really two places for names. One is the contact person and it never changes unless DVC changes their computer system or some other similar issue. Then there's the part where it lists who the name is in. If the Husband is the principal contact (as far as DVC is concerned) then it's reasonable for them to assume he will be going even if the wife makes the reservations. Even if you told them otherwise it was you and a guest, it would be a common mistake to list the principle contact. I have one in front of me that is the reverse. My wife is the name and address it's sent to and the name on the reservation and she likely won't be going either.

 

[JerJan]

Thanks DisGirl..... I won't let it make me carzy and I know I will have a great trip. I actually find it almost amusing how some of these people are getting so FREAKED OUT about it! I was just venting.....oh well I guess they are too!

 

[Muushka]

I was married and divorced. In that marriage I paid ALL of the bills. I was the ONLY bread winner for the last 3 years of the marriage. I made ALL financial decisions. (Mind you-at this point we owned our own house with no mortgage-so we were no financial slouches).


When we divorced, I applied for a credit card in my name. The credit card company was not going to issue me a card because -well, I don't know why they wouldn't. I guess because it appeared that I had been taken care of and they didn't know if I was capable of paying my own bills.

The nice lady on the other end of the phone took pity when I actually started crying (tough times back then). I explained the situation to her and she got them to issue me a card. Now THAT is discrimination (well, not the nice lady, bless her furry little heart).

For all of you ladies out there. Get a credit card in your name only. Saves a lot of grief.

 

[Simba's Girl]

Haven't read all the other replies but...I must totally agree with you-it is sort of annoying.

However, I usually always get the mail and open it, shockingly even if its not addressed to me.

My DH and I have different last names as well.

Heather

 

[crisi]

sex·ism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (skszm)
n.
1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender

This may not be sexism in the first sense - although what happened with my mortgage was sexism in the first sense for the same reasons, because it did have a finacial impact. But when someone chooses to put my husband's name on correspondence when I've made a point of making sure my name is listed first, it is sexist in the second sense of the word. And same for you guys wives - whether they care or not. Someone is stereotyping the gender role. It may not (and is probably not) systemic to DVC, its probably the actions of a few "traditionalists" who file paperwork.

It isn't earth shattering. But, Dave, how would you like it if you had given DVC all this money and they filed your contract as "Dan" and sent all your correspondence to "Dan?" That is sort of what this feels like. I am also one of those women who kept their last names (divorce convinced me it was the committment that was important, not what my drivers license said, I'd changed my name the first time it it was not worth it FOR ME). I don't care if wedding invitations or Christmas cards come to Chrisi Hislastname (a lot of women do, I don't, I'm happy to be remembered). I do care when I pay people to be nice to me (as I do when I take Disney vacations) and they get my name wrong. And I care when I have the primary business relationship with someone and they address mail to my husband.

As I said, not earth shattering. On the scale of typhoons in Asia not important at all. More important to ME than getting stuck in a HA room or getting a welcome home at checkin.

 

[lenshanem]

Both hubby and myself are on the deed.
When I get a confirmation in the mail it always has his name up top, then below this reservation was reserved for... then my name.

I always handle everything regarding our trips, including the DVC add ons. I just tell him where to sign.

When we get DVC mass mailings it usually has his name on it, but every once in awhile it will have both our names.

Given I'm more of the planning guru in our family you'd think all would come addressed to me, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

If it looks interesting I'll open up his mail and if it is a Disney mailing that is a given. He doesn't care.

It is important to many men to feel like they are the ones in charge or in control, but us women know the real truth. If it makes men happy to feel that way - great! Ultimately the women make all the final decisions.

 

[WithDisneySpirit]

I just can't help responding again. The thing that several posters seem to want to believe is that there is some consistency here in DVC land. Well, there isn't. For one thing, we bought two resales and never did DVC ask us who the principal contact will be. To be very clear, however, TTS listed me first and my husband second on the contract. I was the one getting the mail and it was appropriate considering I am in charge of this part of our mutual lives

I felt a little bad for DH because they kept sending him stuff that said Mrs. Rick _______!!!? Sooooo, I corrected DVC and lo and behold they promptly changed the principal contact to DH. All I said is he is not a woman. Further, whoever decided to make the switch did not switch the SS# and the very next time I called they wanted to know why I was giving them his SS# instead of mine!!!

Bottom line, as soon as they know there is a DH, they have been known to make arbitrary changes!!!!!

 

[rmontgo892]

icy-dog, I'm 20 years younger than you. I worked for one man who wouldn't hire a bad looking secretary because "I wouldn't want people to think I would sleep with that." I worked for another who admitted he wouldn't promote women into management because "they have babies and leave anyway." I went to a job interview and was told "don't worry about impressing us, you are only here because HR told us we needed to interview a girl." All of this has been in the past fifteen years.

First as a man, I'd like to aplogize that you had to go through any of that. Nobody should be treated that way. Part of the reason this post has generated so much interest both ways is because it hits home with many people. I just find it hard to fathom a computer generated reservation becoming a sexist thing. It is unfair to people like you, who have been victims to even try and say this is discimination. A simple error? YES Discimination or sexism? NO A final point: the OP stated she has a different last name than her husband? Why do you think that is? Maybe she has kids from a previous marriage and wants to maintain the same last name? Or is it more likely she is one of those women who thinks it is sexist to expect the women to change her name? I know where my money is. She seems way to sensitive to me. If all the women who have posted here stopeed trying to be sooo sensitive and nice they would have to agree.


DAVE[/QUOTE]

.
Hmmm...sounds like you are the one who is "sensitive." Are you emasculated because a woman has the right to chose whether she keeps her maiden name or not? I am sorry you feel so threatened that you have to resort to childish retorts to prove yourself. It's a common practice in some cultures for a woman to retain her maiden name.

BTW, it's not just DVC that practices this accepted policy of placing a mans name first or sending correspondence to the gentleman's name only. It doesn't happen all the time but it is still a common practice in all walks of life. You'd know that if you were a woman.

Ask my husband how he likes being referred to as Mr. _ _ _ _ (insert my maiden name) at hotels. I didn't keep my maiden name because of sexism you silly little man, I kept it because I can and I am proud of it! It was in honor of my Father.

Please...don't hold your breath less you pass out. Since when did you become an expert on institutionalized sexism and decide when it really happens and all manners concerning woman?

It's not earth shattering that this practice is still common place (the poor lady was simply venting similar to your concerns about SSR) in our culture just occasionally an annoying reminder that as much as we have come a long way...some things may never change. You know, like you telling us simple woman how we should really feel and think.

 

[Johnnie Fedora]

All mailings come with my wifes name on it. This is true for our original contract through Disney, which my wife handled and for our resale contract, which I handled. I always thought it was because Disney assumes "the little woman" makes all the family vacation plans. I think that's sexist/discriminatory toward family vacation planning men!!!

More than likely this "address issue" can be attributed to the antiquated computer program/system used at MS.

 

[Stimpy]

Hmmm. Now this is interesting....

On the purchase Agreement, my name is listed as the "Principal Contact"

("Principal Contact" is explained in paragraph 8 of my purchase agreement) which says, "By execution of this Agreement, Purchaser hereby appoints the person set forth above as Purchaser's Principal Contact for the purpose of acting on behalf of the PURCHASER in case there is any disagreement among multiple PURCHASERS regarding the use of an Ownership Interest, and PURCHASER acknowledges that PURCHASER may be required to pay an administrative fee not to exceed $25.00 to change the designation of the Principal Contact."

I can't see how Disney can just change this on a whim, it seems to me that it must be directed by the purchaser. If one spouse is the Principal Contact and the other spouse is being sent the correspondance, then it seems like Disney would be in default on their part of the agreement..... Maybe I should call Member Services in the morning to get this straightened out.

-DC

I just checked my Purchase Agreement for both our original contract and our Add-On. Both state that I am the Primary Contact too. (Also noticed that our closing date for the add-on was 5/20/05 WooHoo) Anyway, the forms they send back with the notarized copies of everything are addressed to DH. What is the point of having it in writing at all if they aren't going to do it?

 

[Stimpy]

Just curious, has anyone called MS about this after reading here? I'd be interested to know how easy and effective it would be to change everything?

 

[ClarabelleCow]

I just took a look at all our deeds (we have 3 contracts), all the title insurance papers and all correspondence I have ever received from DVC, everything has eithe Mr. & Mrs or both our names, my husbands name is first on everything. And I could really care less about that.

The only thing that comes in just his name is the green reservation forms. They all have come addressed to him, and they all say the reservation is confirmed for me!

Now I could really care less what says what, because everything is OURS, we don't have his stuff and my stuff, he works, I work for our business out of the house. My husband hasn't seen his paycheck in 15 years, doesn't pay the bills, doesn't handle the paperwork side of anything, mail, I sort it, I handle it, we open each others mail, but mostly I open everything, we have nothing to hide, and if we did, maybe we shouldn't be together? Sure he makes the big bucks on paper and I make squat on paper, but in the end its all OURS. So I could really care less who's name it was in. So in our household it doesn't matter, alot of my friends have his and hers, his money and her money, etc., well guess what, of those freinds 1 is divorced, 2 have cheated on their spouses and are just barely making it, and one has re-thought their approach and everything is One now!

I know once you have been burned in a relationship, its not that easy, but if you go through life worrying about what the future might bring, you may miss out on what is right there in front of you!