Just need to vent.......

[crisi]

And yet, Y-ASK, several people in this thread know they filled out the paperwork with their names first because it does make a difference to some of us and we have learned - and at some point in the process, the names were either flipped on the contract, or Disney decided to send our mail to our husbands.

And this sounds like a small problem, but it isn't always. As I said in my first post, this bit me in the behind during my divorce. My ex had his name first. I kept the house. They wouldn't remove his name from the mortgage or change the order. So I paid taxes and interest, and he got the tax paperwork with his Social Security number on it! He also got all the mortgage statements and coupon book because the post office forwarded his mail to him. I didn't get notice my escrow payments needed to be increased and underpaid my mortgage for months. It was a nightmare that almost cost me my house - and I had to get out of it by refinancing. The whole mess took months to resolve and cost me several hundred dollars - all due to "traditionally we put his name first." The car was the same deal, fortunately that had been financed through my credit union - which was in the building I worked with and where I knew the tellers.

DVC and this marriage are both different, and its "no big deal" under my current circumstances. But don't write off this as being "unimportant" unless you know what the circumstances are.

 

[Stimpy]

It is a problem to some of us. Crisi's case is a very good example. In my case, my DH is very irresponsible about paperwork. If he gets the mail, which I try to avoid , he usually just throws stuff out with his name on it. If he gets something that looks like "junk", like the postcards with incentives etc, it goes right in the trash. He's been known to misplace bills from time to time. He does know that ANYTHING with MY name on it goes in a pile for me. (And it's "only" taken me 10 years to get him to do that! LOL)

I'm am not losing sleep over this but it is a big annoyance. Since we specifically told our guide that I was the primary contact, it should be in my name. (BTW, it was DH who quickly piped up and told our guide I would be the contact as soon as the guide asked.)

 

[tjkraz]

Somebody stop the thread....I need to get off!!!

 

[Daitcher]

It should be addressed to the deeded OWNERS of the property not just one owner (automatically) assuming that the owner is the man. I am really getting tired of being treating like a second class citizen. This DVC ownership was purchased by my husband AND myself with our money (paid cash) and we should both be treated fairly and respectfully...what is the BIG DEAL about using ALL OWNERS names in any correspondance? I'm not lashing out at anyone in particular....this just really ANNOYS ME!

I smell a melt down at check-in. With an attitude like yours you will always be treated like " a second class citizen". It isn't a sexist thing, get over it. If that is all that goes wrong with your trip then you will be truly blessed.

p.s. My wife would never give something as petty as this a second thought. It is all about attitiude. Ang guess what she doesn't have this attitude that "the man is holding her back."

Sorry if this seems harsh but your post just gets under my skin.

DAVE

 

[athenna]

I smell a melt down at check-in. With an attitude like yours you will always be treated like " a second class citizen". It isn't a sexist thing, get over it. If that is all that goes wrong with your trip then you will be truly blessed.

p.s. My wife would never give something as petty as this a second thought. It is all about attitiude. Ang guess what she doesn't have this attitude that "the man is holding her back."

Sorry if this seems harsh but your post just gets under my skin.

DAVE

Relax, as she said it's just a vent. Chill.

 

[Laurabearz]

I am listed first on the contract and we paid for our DVC with MY money, yet my husband is listed first.... it used to bug me too, so I understand where your coming from, but such is life.....

BUT you do need to call MS and have them put the reservation into your name to make sure you dont have trouble checking in.

 

[wtpclc]

In general, I don't care who's on what. Technically both cars are in his name, but I have the boat! (I'd rather not use it without him, though. ) It is frustrating that things default to the man, though. And in some areas, women still need to work harder than men to get noticed. Not with everyone, but some business owners still need a wake up call. I understand your need to vent.

I do have to laugh when my dh gets all of the Bath and Body coupons, though. (They default to name on phone account and even though it was my number first and his name got added later, they go to him). Last time, my sweet dh opened it and said, "Isn't this the stuff you use?" Makes it easier to take.

 

[icydog]

I smell a melt down at check-in. With an attitude like yours you will always be treated like " a second class citizen". It isn't a sexist thing, get over it. If that is all that goes wrong with your trip then you will be truly blessed.

p.s. My wife would never give something as petty as this a second thought. It is all about attitiude. Ang guess what she doesn't have this attitude that "the man is holding her back."

Sorry if this seems harsh but your post just gets under my skin.

DAVE

Hey Dave she has a right to say how she feels and in fact I feel the same way. It is not imagined it happens all the time. I am in sales and I can tell you I was seriously held back because of my sex. I was always the token woman in my field. I always tell my daughter "go into a career that men predominate and you'll be set for life. It turns out to be true all the time. I hate to burst your bubble but the glass ceiling definately still exists. I was in high management but if you took a snapshot of the boards of directors for almost every company including cosmetics, diapers and tampons you'll find almost all men sitting there with one or two women thrown in here and there.Of course there are exceptions like the president of SWA and HP but they are recognized because there are so few. Why do you think they say Woman ----fill in any traditional man's job from lawyer to taxi driver as in woman lawyer, woman dentist, lady doctor, lady truckdriver etc etc. You never hear anyone say man truckdriver or man dentist do you? Don't you ever wonder why?

And I guarantee if your wife is in any type of business environment she has been affected by this. And you ladies who think this sexism is over just look at the average pay for women versus men. They are not more educated or smart they just earn more.They are moved up the chain of command quicker. Women must do men's jobs better than men and demostrate leadership potential. Did you ever hear of a man striving for a woman's job.

To the point at hand it aggravates me that my husband is the addressee on our Disney mail. I do all there is with the contract and he is the person to whom they write. What's up with that? It's time for the old tradition of men being first on anything written to be over. Now when I have a contract written I am always first. I tried to have Disney change the contract to reflect this but the people in the contract admistration would only change it if there was a change in circumstances as in divorce or death.

 

[lllovell]

I smell a melt down at check-in. With an attitude like yours you will always be treated like " a second class citizen". It isn't a sexist thing, get over it. If that is all that goes wrong with your trip then you will be truly blessed.

p.s. My wife would never give something as petty as this a second thought. It is all about attitiude. Ang guess what she doesn't have this attitude that "the man is holding her back."

Sorry if this seems harsh but your post just gets under my skin.

DAVE

Its not petty if she has problems checking in - which she wouldn't probably because she would have her blue card showing her name (which is NOT the same as hubby's) and their account number but that is not the point. She isn't even listed as someone STAYING in the room on this trip. Nor is her guest. (at least that is what I got out of reading this thread)

It IS very sexist even if you choose not to think so that Disney (or whomever enters the paperwork) thinks that the hubby should automatically be entered first. That mind set in general IS sexist. It is a big deal? Probably not to most and not unless things happen like many other here have mentioned.

Again, I say those of you that aren't effected by this type of discrimination will never understand it mostly because you can't see it. I try to be understanding of other types of discrimimation because I DO see that the basis of many of these issues is not even intentional or obvious to me at times.

Your assumption about her personality is off base and honestly, doesn't have a place here.

My two cents.... ok - 4 because I have posted twice in this thread now lol

Laura

 

[Daitcher]

icy-dog,

I guess my question for the OP is this: Do you really believe that the DVC Reservation system is discriminating against you? CM's are data entry people, period. They aren't discriminating against anyone. I also don't see what the big deal was. It was her fault she didn't clearly state who the reservation was for. If she chooses to believe it is discimination that is her business but from this chair that would be nonsense.


DAVE

 

[lllovell]

icy-dog,

I guess my question for the OP is this: Do you really believe that the DVC Reservation system is discriminating against you? CM's are data entry people, period. They aren't discriminating against anyone. I also don't see what the big deal was. It was her fault she didn't clearly state who the reservation was for. If she chooses to believe it is discimination that is her business but from this chair that would be nonsense.


DAVE

That is a terrible assumption. That she did something wrong so she should shut up. I am quite sure that since she does ALL the reservation making for her family and has ALL the dealings with MS, that she did tell them the names of the people that were going to be on this trip.

Where the discrimination occurs is when the deed is listed the other way around (my name first for example) and all the mail still comes to hubby because THEY decided to put his name first because he is the man. It is a social norm in this country from a time when the men were the ones of importance in our worlds. Times have changed. If my name is first on the deed, it should be the contact name. Again, I could care less, but you are missing a much bigger picture. Discrimination is actually too strong of a word in this case when you put it up against true discrimination, but the definition is still correct. The man's name is put first why?

 

[wtpclc]

It was her fault she didn't clearly state who the reservation was for.

They verify who calls when you call. WHy should she have to re-state it was for her. It should be assumed the ressie is for the caller. Typical chauvinistic male would assume it was her fault without knowing any details.

Someone remind me how the ignore button works again. I should have done that a while ago.

 

[lllovell]

I am sorry, Dave - you didnt specifically say for her to shut up or stop griping so I shouldn't put words in your mouth.

However, I do feel like that is the intent of your post and I find it quite sad that its ok for you to say VERY negative things about SSR for example and get pretty peeved when the rest of us ask you to stick to your opinions and not use such harsh sounding words that are not really necessary and the first time someone else vents you jump - quite negatively again.

I dont get it...but me putting words in your mouth is not right either.

 

[ClarabelleCow]

Out of curiosity I just checked our ressie for HH for August and that one was mailed to my husband but the ressie was confirmed for me............

I just re-read the posts by the original OP, is it possible that what happened on your VB reservation was a mess up by the agent that took the reservation, could they have been training someone and they messed up? Its odd that they ask for your name and all who are in the room, and that none of that is on the reservation, so could it just have been a simple data entry error?

 

[Laurabearz]

This reminds me of a meeting I had in college at the height of the PC craze... I suggest we place a table for a street fair next to the manhole cover near the alley... A lady pipes in and says PEOPLE HOLE cover.... Oh... okay... and everytime someone mentioned the manhole cover this lady piped in with PEOPLEhole cover... it really truely bothered her we were refering to it as a manhole cover made a huge point of letting all us women know that we were bashing our own sex by refering to it as a manhole cover...Now I am all for equal pay, respect for a good job done and all that.... but frankly you men can keep the manhole cover title.....

To the OP.. (((((Hugs)))))

 

[lllovell]

lol Laurabears...I guess I see how that is very silly too

Clarabell - I think the point is not that they made a mistake but that the ressie (and all other DVC information) is sent to the man - so she was told.

 

[megrod74]

I wonder if maybe they forgot to ask who the ressie was for. The last time I made one they didn't ask me. They asked my name, but not who would be staying at the resort. Then when I called to add a night they asked me the names of each in the party.
I'm just wondering if it defaulted to the first name on the contract.

And I have no idea whose name the DVC mail comes with or whose name is first on the contract, but I agree that women are definitely still discriminated against. from an ABCNews article "Because private (golf) clubs are not bound by discrimination laws, gender bias still exists, although golf experts say the situation is getting better. "Some [clubs] say you can't be a member," Wax notes. "Others say you can be a member only if your husband is." Or women can join, but the club might limit them to less-desirable tee times."

 

[MiaSRN62]

It should be addressed to the deeded OWNERS of the property not just one owner (automatically) assuming that the owner is the man. I am really getting tired of being treating like a second class citizen. This DVC ownership was purchased by my husband AND myself with our money (paid cash) and we should both be treated fairly

I totally agree JerJan
I have to wonder a little if this policy could cause any problems/complications in times of illness/death/divorce etc (I guess it would all just be tracked back to the deed) ? The fact that they "confirmed the reservation" for your dh, when it was YOU that MS spoke with is a big no-no in my book. Why should you have to go back and make sure all the "i"'s are dotted and "t"'s crossed. It should take one call with the correct parties who will be occupying the resort listed.
On a side note.....we purchased our Vistana timeshare (originally) with a couple different family members. The premise was we would all take turns using it but we had since bought our in-laws out and sadly, my mil passed away. But, I can tell, each party/family who's name was on the deed got all Vistana mailings to their homes. My husband and I are listed first, but my mil and in-laws always got their own seperate mailings, adressed to them specifically. So Vistana did acknowledge all owners listed on the deed in mailings.
Sorry you're getting a couple of negative replies JerJan. I think you have every right to vent if you want to.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Yes, it does cause problems. My dear friend received DVC as a gift from her dear husband. He and I plotted for a long time to get them the right size resale etc. The contract was given to her as a gift, but with both names on it. He and I planned their first trip for the following January. They would be traveling the same time we would be, and we requested our 2 bedroom ressies to be near each other. That fall, he passed away suddenly. When she arrived at OKW, it hurt her greatly to have them ask if "Tom" was there. BTW, it also took a lot of trouble to get his name removed from the contract. It is not as simple as sending in a death certificate like it is with so many other things. She actually had to go somewhere in Orlando to get it accomplished when she was down with us last December.
Oh, and on her trip in March, the reservation was STILL listed in his name, even though she had it removed in December from the deed.

 

[springsteenmickey]

My wife and I have different last names. Both our names are on the deed. All mail and confirmations are addressed to her.