I am so scared

[Tiger926]

As usual, there are rude people here on the DIS, who still don't seem to be able to get when people are fearful or anxious about something. Please be kind to the OP.

I get that OP has extreme anxiety about the whole thing, but she still has not explained who told her she doesn't need to call, and in what context did that conversation take place? This is important info that is missing, and may allow us to help you further.

It wouldn't matter to me if my hubby said it wasn't necessary, if it made you feel better, than you still do it. Make sure you have a cell phone on you at all times, and you can call when you need to.

As to getting kidnapped or hurt, I don't live in a major city such as New York or Toronto, but I would think that if you do, then you could take a self defense class like some are suggesting on here, or perhaps get dropped off by your husband to work instead of taking public transportation?

I wish you strength in getting over your anxiety and fear OP, and perhaps it would help you to talk to a professional about it?

Tiger

 

[Coconut36]

I am confused by all of this.."no longer have to"..what does that mean? That wording implies that they asked you to call not that you like to call/feel safer doing so.

If you are married then your spouse would be well aware of your concerns/fears and I would think do what is necessary to support you..same for your parents. I would hope you are seeking help for such extreme fears so you can eventually move forward from them.

Get a cell phone, keep it with you, attend some self defense classes or get some pepper spray if it will help you gain confidence.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Link to your statistics?

99.99999% of those supposed abductions are actually custody battles.

In another recent thread, statistics showed that actual stranger abductions were approximately 115 a year. 115 people out of the 313,925,298 people in the US.

You have better odds picking up a winning mega millions ticket on your way to the bus.

Telling a frightened person that there are 2000 children are abducted every day is just fear mongering.

Here is my link http://kidsfightingchance.com/stats.php

She has every right to feel scared. There are a bunch of crazies out there. She came here for advice. I'm not going to tell her that everyone is pooping rainbows and sunshine on the public transit station.

Plenty of good tips on here so far.

 

[wvjules]

Here is my link http://kidsfightingchance.com/stats.php

She has every fight to feel scared. There are a bunch of crazies out there. She came here for advice. I'm not going to tell her that everyone is pooping rainbows and sunshine on the public transit station.

Scared or not, making a phone call will not PREVENT anything from happening.

 

[crashbb]

Here is my link http://kidsfightingchance.com/stats.php

She has every fight to feel scared. There are a bunch of crazies out there. She came here for advice. I'm not going to tell her that everyone is pooping rainbows and sunshine on the public transit station.

No, there aren't really a "bunch of crazies" out there. From the same page:

Family members account for the majority of these reported cases (82 percent)
Non-family abductions account for 12,000 of these reported cases (18 percent)
Of non-family abductions, 37 percent are by a stranger

Which brings the relevant cases (well, really none are relevant since she isn't a child) to 4,440 (37% of 12,000).

And there numbers don't work anyway. If 12,000 reported cases (the non-family ones) are 18% of reported cases, then there are 66,6667 reported cases a year - a far cry from the 800,000 in the first bullet.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

No, there aren't really a "bunch of crazies" out there. From the same page:



Which brings the relevant cases (well, really none are relevant since she isn't a child) to 4,440 (37% of 12,000).

And there numbers don't work anyway. If 12,000 reported cases (the non-family ones) are 18% of reported cases, then there are 66,6667 reported cases a year - a far cry from the 800,000 in the first bullet.

Hey, I didn't write the article. I just cut-n-pasted it.

 

[phorsenuf]

Where's that therapist?

 

[cornflake]

Well, you have every right to feel that way. Just look at the statistics!

Every 40 seconds in the United States, a child is reported missing or abducted. That translates to over 2000 children per day (under 18 years of age) or 800000 per year.

I think since you are an adult, your chances aren't quite this high.

Where exactly do you live?

This is wildly, wildly misleading.

That may be the number of kids reported missing or abducted, but it has NOTHING to do with the number that actually are missing or abducted.

First, kids are reported missing by bazoo parents all the time when they don't come home just when expected or run off to a friend's after a fight and don't come home for dinner or the night. These children are generally located before cops get involved at all beyond the initial call. That's the majority of that statistic.

Second, the VAST majority of 'missing and abducted' children in this country are parental abductions. They're not kidnapped and murdered, they're taken by a parent who does not have custody. It's overwhelmingly not a dangerous situation, just a messed-up one.

Third, the balance are full-on runaways, teens who left home of their own accord, some for good reason, some not, but who were not abducted and are older teens.

The number of stranger abductions of children in this country is exceedingly low and has remaine steadily so for pretty much ever. This is a very, very, very rare crime. Of course, even one is a tragic thing but the odds of this happening to a child are in the lottery-winning/lightning bolt while holding a kite type territory. It's beyond rare.

Just fyi because that statistic is so misleading sounding.

 

[vicki_c]

No, there aren't really a "bunch of crazies" out there. From the same page:



Which brings the relevant cases (well, really none are relevant since she isn't a child) to 4,440 (37% of 12,000).

And there numbers don't work anyway. If 12,000 reported cases (the non-family ones) are 18% of reported cases, then there are 66,6667 reported cases a year - a far cry from the 800,000 in the first bullet.

A lot of that site's statistics seem to be taken out of context or misconstrued - no wonder since they are trying to scare you so then they can sell you a product. I don't claim to know actual credible statistics, but I wouldn't be getting them from a for-profit website.

 

[crashbb]

Hey, I didn't write the article. I just cut-n-pasted it.

And then made conclusions based on the data. To scare someone who is clearly already unusually anxious.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

1st why does everyone have to repeats over and over is this for real is this the truth. For real if you don't believe it or have helpful advice move on.

2nd I don't understand why you have to stop. Did someone say you have to stop. I understand what you are saying but you are pretty vague on the who's telling you you can't do something.

Like someone else mentioned do you have a cell phone? Can you text or call your husband/mom when you arrive or when you leave??


It sounds like you have anxiety??? Do you think you do or do you? I know I have had bad anxiety in the past and if I am sure if I told people my fears of what may happen I would look silly

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Scared or not, making a phone call will not PREVENT anything from happening.

I think the relief is no you can prevent something is happening BUT if her mom and husband know right away something has happened to her they have time to respond instead of her not showing up at home at night.

 

[sunshinehighway]

As usual, there are rude people here on the DIS, who still don't seem to be able to get when people are fearful or anxious about something. Please be kind to the OP.

I get that OP has extreme anxiety about the whole thing, but she still has not explained who told her she doesn't need to call, and in what context did that conversation take place? This is important info that is missing, and may allow us to help you further.

It wouldn't matter to me if my hubby said it wasn't necessary, if it made you feel better, than you still do it. Make sure you have a cell phone on you at all times, and you can call when you need to.

As to getting kidnapped or hurt, I don't live in a major city such as New York or Toronto, but I would think that if you do, then you could take a self defense class like some are suggesting on here, or perhaps get dropped off by your husband to work instead of taking public transportation?

I wish you strength in getting over your anxiety and fear OP, and perhaps it would help you to talk to a professional about it?

Tiger

Of course here comes the post about rude people who don't understand fears and anxiety.

Guess what, a cellphone is not a teleportation device. If you are in a life threatening situation, calling your mom or husband isn't going to make a difference.

 

[smitch425]

I am quite sure this is a joke. I can't imagine anyone really thinking this.

I am 100% certain this is not a joke. This is actually a big step for this poster.

OP, you will be okay. I know this is a big deal for you. Any chance you could just send a quick text to one of them until you feel more comfortable with not literally speaking to one of them?

To the people making fun of this poster, please stop. She posts here enough for most people to know that she is not your average adult woman. If you can't be helpful to someone and only have the desire to insult them, please don't hit "submit reply". It really is very sad that some of you have no empathy for your fellow Disers.

 

[Tiger926]

Of course here comes the post about rude people who don't understand fears and anxiety.

Guess what, a cellphone is not a teleportation device. If you are in a life threatening situation, calling your mom or husband isn't going to make a difference.

Huh? What in the world are you talking about? And yeah, there have been some rude responses on here making fun of the OP, not sure how you missed those?

I can tell the OP is highly anxious, and have read some of her other posts, therefore, I am suggesting to call during the journey as a way to relieve some anxiety.

I didn't say her cellphone is going to shazaam her out of a bad situation. How ridiculous!

Tiger

 

[AverageDiser]

As a pp stated, according to the FBI there are between 100-120 children abducted by strangers each year. Adult abductions by strangers are so rare that they do not keep statistics. You have a higher chance of being struck by lightning TWICE than of being abducted by a stranger(and that's using the children's numbers..an adults chances would be even more unlikely.) As others have stated, OP, by all means stay alert when you're travelling, but know the chance of you being kidnapped is very, very unlikely.

 

[smitch425]

Guess what, a cellphone is not a teleportation device. If you are in a life threatening situation, calling your mom or husband isn't going to make a difference.

Glad I didn't follow this advice when I totalled my car. It won't teleport you, but it might just save your life.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Huh? What in the world are you talking about? And yeah, there have been some rude responses on here making fun of the OP, not sure how you missed those?

I can tell the OP is highly anxious, and have read some of her other posts, therefore, I am suggesting to call during the journey as a way to relieve some anxiety.

I didn't say her cellphone is going to shazaam her out of a bad situation. How ridiculous!

Tiger

I didn't miss them. The idea that someone should be coddle for their irrational fears is ridiculous. I don't know the OPs history. If she's serious, she should speak with a professional. What good does it do her to justify her irrational fears? If her mother and husband had to tell her not to call them anymore then she's at a point where she's too much for them. The people pointing that out aren't rude, more like realistic.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Glad I didn't follow this advice when I totalled my car. It won't teleport you, but it might just save your life.

Calling 911 would have worked just as well.

 

[Robinrs]

Here is my link http://kidsfightingchance.com/stats.php

She has every right to feel scared. There are a bunch of crazies out there. She came here for advice. I'm not going to tell her that everyone is pooping rainbows and sunshine on the public transit station.

Plenty of good tips on here so far.

Being in FEAR is not a right, it's a choice.

If you choose to be afraid, fine, but to have it affect your life in a way that it makes you less productive or anxious... that's self deprecating.

I was made aware that the OP has this issue, and I realize that it is not a joke but it IS a problem. Seriously, I think she needs to seek help. It's not something to be discussed on a public forum, though.