I am so scared

[Nox54]

Count me as one of those who think you should just call anyway if that's what makes you feel safe. I get that someone told you that you didn't "have" to but they didn't tell you that you couldn't, right?

 

[phorsenuf]

Glad I didn't follow this advice when I totalled my car. It won't teleport you, but it might just save your life.

How did a phone save your life in a car accident?

 

[smitch425]

Calling 911 would have worked just as well.

Maybe, but my mom beat the ambulance as the accident was a mile from my house, and 911 was called first.

 

[Donaldswife]

I didn't miss them. The idea that someone should be coddle for their irrational fears is ridiculous. I don't know the OPs history. If she's serious, she should speak with a professional. What good does it do her to justify her irrational fears? If her mother and husband had to tell her not to call them anymore then she's at a point where she's too much for them. The people pointing that out aren't rude, more like realistic.

We are not "coddling" her. This woman is not your average adult woman, as many of us who have communicated with her have become aware. Making fun of her is not helpful, and is downright rude.

BTW, no where did she state who told her she didn't have to call anymore, and she did not say that her Mother nad Husband had to tell her not to call. I seriously doubt she is "too much for them" You are making an awful lot of assumptions.

 

[smitch425]

How did a phone save your life in a car accident?

Because I could call 911, and my parents.

 

[sam_gordon]

OP, I suggest talking to someone about your fears. I do not find this level of fear "normal".

For me, I will let DW know if I'm going to be 30 minutes or later from my anticipated time. However, I'm not worried about being kidnapped, my concern is more with being in an auto accident. The fear is not so much for me, but I know if I'm at home and I'm expecting DW to get home at 7, and it's after 7:30, I do start to wonder "what's happened?".

I assume she gets to work fine just like she assumes *I* get to work fine. Day to day we'll trade emails or text, but don't get concerned if they don't respond immediately (in a meeting, cell phone off, away from computer, etc). If not having near instantaneous contact with someone bothers you, I think it needs to be checked out.

 

[Tiger926]

I didn't miss them. The idea that someone should be coddle for their irrational fears is ridiculous. I don't know the OPs history. If she's serious, she should speak with a professional. What good does it do her to justify her irrational fears? If her mother and husband had to tell her not to call them anymore then she's at a point where she's too much for them. The people pointing that out aren't rude, more like realistic.

This amount of compassionate and understanding for someone struggling with anxiety is seriously lacking.

Being in FEAR is not a right, it's a choice.

If you choose to be afraid, fine, but to have it affect your life in a way that it makes you less productive or anxious... that's self deprecating.

I was made aware that the OP has this issue, and I realize that it is not a joke but it IS a problem. Seriously, I think she needs to seek help. It's not something to be discussed on a public forum, though.

I would agree there isn't much any of us can do on a public form to help her, but if the OP felt comfortable discussing it here, then people don't need to be rude to her.

She is struggling with some serious anxiety, and so if people don't want to read it or help her out with legitimate suggestions, then they should find another thread, IMHO.

Tiger

 

[kate_wdw]

I was told that I no longer have to let my mom or DH know when I get to work or when I will be late getting home. How do they know I will not get kidnapped? That is my biggest fear ending up on the missing person list.

Were you told this by a therapist or in the context of treating an anxiety disorder? If so, seeking reassurance about this from strangers on the internet is most likely just fueling the cycle of anxiety. If you are in therapy, you should probably mention this reassurance seeking to your therapist.

 

[disykat]

I'm also surprised at all the people telling her to call anyway. While calling has worked as a coping mechanism for her until now, I also think that if it's the people she's calling telling her she shouldn't be, they are ready to be done with that practice.

OP, we all have our "stuff." It's just a matter of finding ways to deal. I agree with those who have suggested a self defense class along with some therapy to help you deal with your fears.

 

[sunshinehighway]

This amount of compassionate and understanding for someone struggling with anxiety is seriously lacking.



I would agree there isn't much any of us can do on a public form to help her, but if the OP felt comfortable discussing it here, then people don't need to be rude to her.

She is struggling with some serious anxiety, and so if people don't want to read it or help her out with legitimate suggestions, then they should find another thread, IMHO.

Tiger

Most posters probably though the original post was a joke or someone looking to start a controversy. Not everyone knows her history.

 

[RitaE]

In your case I think there is probably a Supervisor at your work who would get concerned if you just didn't show up for work - right?

If you didn't show up one day - like 30 minutes late - and hadn't called to let them know, I imagine that your workplace would be calling your Mom and making sure you were okay.

If it makes you feel more safer, then please ask your Mom and your workplace what would happen if you were very late to work without calling in to say you were sick or something.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Get yourself a cellphone.

Consider taking up self defense.

Consider therapy.

 

[Tiger926]

I'm also surprised at all the people telling her to call anyway. While calling has worked as a coping mechanism for her until now, I also think it's clear that the people that she's calling are ready to be done with that practice.

OP, we all have our "stuff." It's just a matter of finding ways to deal. I agree with those who have suggested a self defense class along with some therapy to help you deal with your fears.

Well, she didn't tell us in what context this message came to her.

In my experience with lots of anxious people, anxiety is something that needs to be worked on in baby steps, and not a cold turkey thing, so that is why I suggested to make one call to her husband. If she used to call 10 times during her journey, and now would only call 1 time at the end of her journey, that might be a great step in the right direction. But if someone has told her to stop calling altogether as part of a therapeutic solution, clearly she hasn't made closure with that yet.

None of us are her therapist or her husband (if indeed it came from those people), and so we can only offer a few words of advice to someone who is obviously very scared to be in that particular situation.

Tiger

 

[Sgt Mickey]

In your case I think there is probably a Supervisor at your work who would get concerned if you just didn't show up for work - right?

If you didn't show up one day - like 30 minutes late - and hadn't called to let them know, I imagine that your workplace would be calling your Mom and making sure you were okay.

If it makes you feel more safer, then please ask your Mom and your workplace what would happen if you were very late to work without calling in to say you were sick or something.

This is a great idea. Have a plan if you don't show up to work that your coworker would call your mom or dh.

 

[Tiger926]

Most posters probably though the original post was a joke or someone looking to start a controversy. Not everyone knows her history.

See, and that is one of the biggest problem with the DISboards.

Why always assume someone is a troll, joker or loser trying to stir up controversy?

Let us assume that people really do suffer in ways that are different than our own, and offer assistance, instead of rudeness or sarcasm.

Tiger

 

[smitch425]

Most posters probably though the original post was a joke or someone looking to start a controversy. Not everyone knows her history.

If that is true, why even bother responding when it would just fuel their supposed controversy? If something seems to be a joke or a post to get a rise out of people, just ignore it and move on. Wouldn't that be better than finding out you have insulted someone who was coming from a place of complete honesty?

 

[Robinrs]

See, and that is one of the biggest problem with the DISboards.

Why always assume someone is a troll, joker or loser trying to stir up controversy?

Let us assume that people really do suffer in ways that are different than our own, and offer assistance, instead of rudeness or sarcasm.

Tiger

Wow, Tiger, if ONLY!

In the meantime I live in the real world and realize that there are people out there with issues and they need to be told to back away from the computer. Anxiety or paranoia existed LONG before the DIS (believe me, I deal with it daily) but unfortunately the internet has given these people another avenue to pursue. This is true with many personality types.

I think she needs counseling, not coddling. If you really care about her, PM her and talk to her privately. Telling the posters to stop saying what's on their minds here is a moot point.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Wow, Tiger, if ONLY!

In the meantime I live in the real world and realize that there are people out there with issues and they need to be told to back away from the computer. Anxiety or paranoia existed LONG before the DIS (believe me, I deal with it daily) but unfortunately the internet has given these people another avenue to pursue. This is true with many personality types.

I think she needs counseling, not coddling. If you really care about her, PM her and talk to her privately. Telling the posters to stop saying what's on their minds here is a moot point.

exactly!

 

[Tiger926]

If that is true, why even bother responding when it would just fuel their supposed controversy? If something seems to be a joke or a post to get a rise out of people, just ignore it and move on. Wouldn't that be better than finding out you have insulted someone who was coming from a place of complete honesty?

Wow, Tiger, if ONLY!

In the meantime I live in the real world and realize that there are people out there with issues and they need to be told to back away from the computer. Anxiety or paranoia existed LONG before the DIS (believe me, I deal with it daily) but unfortunately the internet has given these people another avenue to pursue. This is true with many personality types.

I think she needs counseling, not coddling. If you really care about her, PM her and talk to her privately. Telling the posters to stop saying what's on their minds here is a moot point.

Well, my mama taught me if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say it.

If people really think it's a joke, then just move on. Why take a chance in hurting someone's feelings by implying she's a joker or adding to the anxiety of the poster by linking kidnapping stats and such?

Sure people are free to express opinions, but knowing your audience is pertinent when expressing such opinions.

Tiger

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Wow, Tiger, if ONLY!

In the meantime I live in the real world and realize that there are people out there with issues and they need to be told to back away from the computer. Anxiety or paranoia existed LONG before the DIS (believe me, I deal with it daily) but unfortunately the internet has given these people another avenue to pursue. This is true with many personality types.

I think she needs counseling, not coddling. If you really care about her, PM her and talk to her privately. Telling the posters to stop saying what's on their minds here is a moot point.

I somewhat agree with you. I do think that if she came here wanting a solution this would be the case. Sometimes just being able to admit something and writing it out helps you realize you may need help, sometimes you just want someone to hear you out and to get feedback in what other have done while in that situation.