Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[ILUVALASKA]

My best friend's son is a senior at CMU! Great school, and centrally located to conveniences. Now I am wondering if my previous post about allergies might be true. I don't know why PA, but seems that everyone on this state is affected by them. Whether they had them in the past or not. Hope he is feeling better soon!

tHANKS mARCY!

 

[georgina]

Pittsburgh has a high rate of asthma. Several people warned us about smog in Claremont, but she's grown up here with a high rate of particulate pollution.

 

[nancygirl1]

Well, life does go on. Doesn't it? Quieter, but what's a mom to do :-( My twins are both settled in. One moved into a house with 4 of his friends and the other is living in an apartment on campus. They are both thrilled and I am less than thrilled LOL. I want them to miss me and home as much as I miss them. I would never say anything to them. This should be about them and not about me. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I skyped last night with my son who goes to Umass Amherst, but he wouldn't do the video Skype because he said that he hasn't been away long enough....haha. I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone. He ended up commuting last year for his Sophomore year so I got used to him being at home. He wanted so badly to leave home and needs to put some distance between us. When he wouldn't answer my message the other night, I sat at the computer and cried.

His twin brother is in his Junior year at Umass Dartmouth and has had no trouble settling in. He's a little bit more receptive to me, but still needs the space. I think summer was longer for him than for me. He called yesterday asking about ink for his printer and when I started to chat I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he just wanted it to be a "business" call. So I got the message and stopped trying to chat. That was hard.

I miss them so much.

Our oldest son is a second semester Junior. He has 3 semesters left. He decided to stay home with us and finish school at the local state school. He will be 22 in a few days and is ready to be finished with school. It has been a long road for him. His second semester sophomore year he got cancer. He was able to finish a few of his classes. He ended up taking the next year off because he was still so sick from the chemo. Last year he ended up going away to school and lived in his own apartment. But, the reality of the expense of school has made him see that he needs to finish as inexpensively as possible. He has one class on campus and 3 on-line. He is thrilled with that.

So, our house isn't quite as quiet and empty as we thought it would be. Although, we don't see him very much, it is still nice to have a third voice in the house sometimes beside the red sox announcers.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

 

[mom2travel]

Well, life does go on. Doesn't it? Quieter, but what's a mom to do :-( My twins are both settled in. One moved into a house with 4 of his friends and the other is living in an apartment on campus. They are both thrilled and I am less than thrilled LOL. I want them to miss me and home as much as I miss them. I would never say anything to them. This should be about them and not about me. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I skyped last night with my son who goes to Umass Amherst, but he wouldn't do the video Skype because he said that he hasn't been away long enough....haha. I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone. He ended up commuting last year for his Sophomore year so I got used to him being at home. He wanted so badly to leave home and needs to put some distance between us. When he wouldn't answer my message the other night, I sat at the computer and cried.

His twin brother is in his Junior year at Umass Dartmouth and has had no trouble settling in. He's a little bit more receptive to me, but still needs the space. I think summer was longer for him than for me. He called yesterday asking about ink for his printer and when I started to chat I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he just wanted it to be a "business" call. So I got the message and stopped trying to chat. That was hard.

I miss them so much.

Our oldest son is a second semester Junior. He has 3 semesters left. He decided to stay home with us and finish school at the local state school. He will be 22 in a few days and is ready to be finished with school. It has been a long road for him. His second semester sophomore year he got cancer. He was able to finish a few of his classes. He ended up taking the next year off because he was still so sick from the chemo. Last year he ended up going away to school and lived in his own apartment. But, the reality of the expense of school has made him see that he needs to finish as inexpensively as possible. He has one class on campus and 3 on-line. He is thrilled with that.

So, our house isn't quite as quiet and empty as we thought it would be. Although, we don't see him very much, it is still nice to have a third voice in the house sometimes beside the red sox announcers.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

Hang in there! It's so tough trying to be happy for our kids and let them spread their wings, while missing them like crazy

And don't apologize - no post is ever too long! - we are all here to support each other

 

[luvavacation]

Oh nancygirl1, big, big hugs to you! Your line about wanting them to miss you and home as much as you miss them rings so true.

I honestly don't know if it is the difference between boys and girls, for my girls definitely tell me how much they miss home, but my friend with a son at college, complains that he never wants to talk! My youngest is her Goddaughter, and she has called my daughter just to hear some college news! The longest she has spoken to her son was when he called last week because his computer caught a virus, and now what does he do? As soon as she told him to call Dell, he bid her goodbye and hung up! She wanted more! Yes, must be a boy thing.

As mom2travel said, we are here for support. Some days are better than others, but we will eventually become accustomed to our new lives. Time to find out what we are, besides just "mom".

So far, I find I am a great "soap scum in the shower" scrubber and a cabinet organizer. I also have my 25 anniversary trip coming up next week and then a trip to take my mom on a cruise for her 80th. Afterwards, once November hits, I will go looking for a part-time job. I find keeping the calendar full helps tremendously!

My homesick daughter called again last night, said she is fine, she was just PMS-ing the last few days, so her emotions got the best of her. That girl, refuses to admit to any perceived weakness of character. But, it's why I know she will power through her fears and homesickness - she is just so darn determined.

She informed my that she is coming home in 2 weeks. She has someone to drive with her (school is 4 hours away, and I told her she is not allowed to drive home alone Freshman year; I just worry too much, I know, but the route is still new to her ). I told her I won't be home, why is she coming home? Well, her big sister is coming here to stay, taking a week and half off her lab work for grad school (classes haven't started yet, just the research portion), and staying here with the dogs while we are gone. Little sister wants to visit with her big sister for a weekend (apparently, I am no longer in demand to be seen) ! Those two, the older they get, the closer they get. While I wish I could see her too, I am still so glad she will come home and spend time with her sister. And perhaps her pesky cat will be happy again!

Happy weekend to you all! I will be tackling the guest room closet, aka catch-all, today. Hope the rest of you will be having more fun than I (unless I find a hidden stash of gold, in which case, my day is better than yours, so there)!

 

[marcyinPA]

Got a call from my DS yesterday afternoon. To check on me (I had a colonoscopy yesterday morning and he was concerned-

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

Well, life does go on. Doesn't it? Quieter, but what's a mom to do :-( My twins are both settled in. One moved into a house with 4 of his friends and the other is living in an apartment on campus. They are both thrilled and I am less than thrilled LOL. I want them to miss me and home as much as I miss them. I would never say anything to them. This should be about them and not about me. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I skyped last night with my son who goes to Umass Amherst, but he wouldn't do the video Skype because he said that he hasn't been away long enough....haha. I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone. He ended up commuting last year for his Sophomore year so I got used to him being at home. He wanted so badly to leave home and needs to put some distance between us. When he wouldn't answer my message the other night, I sat at the computer and cried.

His twin brother is in his Junior year at Umass Dartmouth and has had no trouble settling in. He's a little bit more receptive to me, but still needs the space. I think summer was longer for him than for me. He called yesterday asking about ink for his printer and when I started to chat I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he just wanted it to be a "business" call. So I got the message and stopped trying to chat. That was hard.

I miss them so much.

Our oldest son is a second semester Junior. He has 3 semesters left. He decided to stay home with us and finish school at the local state school. He will be 22 in a few days and is ready to be finished with school. It has been a long road for him. His second semester sophomore year he got cancer. He was able to finish a few of his classes. He ended up taking the next year off because he was still so sick from the chemo. Last year he ended up going away to school and lived in his own apartment. But, the reality of the expense of school has made him see that he needs to finish as inexpensively as possible. He has one class on campus and 3 on-line. He is thrilled with that.

So, our house isn't quite as quiet and empty as we thought it would be. Although, we don't see him very much, it is still nice to have a third voice in the house sometimes beside the red sox announcers.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

Glad I stumbled on this thread. Nancygirl I'm with you. My youngest is in his second year of college. Because of our family dynamics for many years, he and I did a LOT together so last year was a tough shock with him moving into college and distancing himself. He has been gone two weeks and I was only able to get a quick 2 sentence response from a text message I sent him promising not to send more questions when he did.

His college isn't far in distance but it is in my heart. I'm grateful he is rooming with two boys he has been friends with, and the RA is the next room over. His floor is filled with boys from his major (Interactive Gaming design and programming) so there is a lot of similar personality in his dorm.

I totally get your heart ache when he didn't respond to your skype. I'm sure there are daughters that do the same, but I don't know........
I know I didn't have easy access to talk to my mother back in college, but I tend to think I would have not distanced myself quit as much if I did.

Gonna subscribe to this link because other wise I will drive my husband crazy with my obsessive Disney talk and vacation planning. Escapism I think it's called.

 

[Katy Belle]

He did it again! SKYPE!!!! Got to love it! How did parents ever get through sending their kids to college before Skype & Texts???

So we talked for about another 50 min tonight. He initiated the contact.:

So glad he is calling you! And a little jealous! We did talk to DS on the phone after one week had passed and he did come home last weekend, and he texts every day...but something about hearing their voices helps...I might call him today!

My daughter called again last night, she started out saying she is fine, but hey, I am her mom, I can hear it in her voice when she isn't fine! Plus, she wouldn't Skype, so you know there is something when she doesn't want me to see her!

Sure enough, tears flowed. Her computer isn't working right, she was asked to go to a party with her roommate but she doesn't want to go, it is going to be in the 90's the next 4 or 5 days and she doesn't like walking in the heat, and she just wants to come home, because she has decided college isn't what she wants.

I know she is just venting, and this happened the first week after her older sister would come home for a visit, too. So be prepared parents, going back to school after a nice visit home might make them homesick again!

All we can do is listen, try to comfort them, act strong and confident while on the phone, then hang up and cry because we worry and just want our children to be happy and joyful all the time, not sad. And perhaps continue trying to convince DH that we NEED an RV to load up the dogs in and go visit our girls whenever we want, no need to find someone to watch the dogs over a weekend. He is caving, two more tearful calls might do it!

On a funny/adorable note, woke up to strange noises this morning. Upon investigation, I found my 9 month old, 102 pound male German Shepherd Kili rolled up in my youngest daughter's covers, sniffing her pillow. Aww, I think he is trying to find her!

Finally, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for this wonderful group of fellow parents. Somedays I am too busy (yes, I am trying!) to get here and read how things are going for the rest of you, but then there are the quiet mornings when I sit here, with a cup of coffee and dogs at my feet and my cat on my lap, and I just feel the emptiness. It is so nice on those mornings to have a place to go online and read how the rest of you and your children are doing, and know that we can all lift each other up and help each other thru this new stage in our lives. No one makes anyone feel odd for missing our children, we don't tell anyone to get over it, we just support. Thanks for that!

Thanks so much for this post! You handled the homesick phone call so well! And you are right, we must be strong and help them through it, and bawl when we hang up!

I'm so grateful for this group too!

And the posts about the pets are cracking me up! DS18 had very little to do with our old doggie. When he came home last weekend he said, "I don't think she even remembers me." LOL! She was happy to see him, but she didn't do the dance of joy she does when I return from the grocery store.

I agree that this group has been great. It has really helped me to anticipate issues and see how others are dealing with them.

Yes, yes, yes!

My DS's cat is sure missing him. I'm surprised at how much I'm seeing him downstairs during the day now. He only used to come down when he needed food. Now he hangs with me. I put my DD in charge of entertaining him though. I now find cat toys in the shopping cart every time we go grocery shopping......

Loving these pet stories!!! And love that your DD needs new toys to entertain the kitty!!!

Son rode the bus to the pharmacy to get inhaler. I will call him today to see if he is feeling better. Thanks all!

So glad he was able to get his meds! I was thinking he should hop in a taxi! My youngest had asthma triggered by illness, and has since outgrown it. One Dr. explained that ANY wheezing is classified as asthma, so if a DR ever hears you wheeze, then its called asthma. It may or may not happen again. My middle one had wheezing one time, with bronchitis, but just that once. So I wouldn't say he had asthma, as we think of it anyway. He had to do breathing treatments for a few days and never again. Youngest had an inhaler for a few years, needed only when he had a cold or some other illness. I hope your son feels better soon!!!

But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone.

I miss them so much.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

HUGS!!! Keep coming here! We all get it! Your post made me think of that saying ...that having a baby/child is like watching your heart walk around outside your body... and then it goes to college!!! Painful. I think it is fair of you to ask them to be patient with you. Hang in there!!!

So far, I find I am a great "soap scum in the shower" scrubber and a cabinet organizer. I also have my 25 anniversary trip coming up next week and then a trip to take my mom on a cruise for her 80th. Afterwards, once November hits, I will go looking for a part-time job. I find keeping the calendar full helps tremendously!

My homesick daughter called again last night, said she is fine, she was just PMS-ing the last few days, so her emotions got the best of her. That girl, refuses to admit to any perceived weakness of character. But, it's why I know she will power through her fears and homesickness - she is just so darn determined.

She informed my that she is coming home in 2 weeks. She has someone to drive with her (school is 4 hours away, and I told her she is not allowed to drive home alone Freshman year; I just worry too much, I know, but the route is still new to her ). I told her I won't be home, why is she coming home? Well, her big sister is coming here to stay, taking a week and half off her lab work for grad school (classes haven't started yet, just the research portion), and staying here with the dogs while we are gone. Little sister wants to visit with her big sister for a weekend (apparently, I am no longer in demand to be seen) ! Those two, the older they get, the closer they get. While I wish I could see her too, I am still so glad she will come home and spend time with her sister. And perhaps her pesky cat will be happy again!

Happy weekend to you all! I will be tackling the guest room closet, aka catch-all, today. Hope the rest of you will be having more fun than I (unless I find a hidden stash of gold, in which case, my day is better than yours, so there)!

Love that you are keeping so busy! And I think you are being SUPER mature about her coming home when you are gone! I can learn from you!!

I still have 2 sons at home, so I'm not missing the noise or the physical presence of DS18 as some of you are. I'm still super busy running people everywhere, cooking, cleaning, going to band rehearsals, volunteering at the school, etc. But I still miss him terribly!

Thursday DS18 was struggling. Calc I is getting to him. His Professor is Czech and very, very hard to understand. He said the answers to the assignments are supposed to be in words, but the professor is only teaching them formulas. He thinks he's avoiding the speech part because of the English as a Second Language thing. So DS has started going to every session the TA schedules, like 2 hours a night. He said it is helping, but he still can't get the homework right without help. DS never took any hard math in HS, Pre-Calc was the hardest, but he never had ANY trouble, never studied and got As. So this is the first time he's had to put forth a lot of effort. I suggested the other tutoring places on campus and told him that it really may take hours and hours and that is OK. He seems ready for the challenge!

Then yesterday I didn't hear from him in the morning, which is a first. He texted at 1:45 and said he overslept! His phone charger died and his alarm didn't go off. He woke at 10:34 and had a 10:30 class. He got there at 10:38 ... "but I'm not very well groomed." I told him that these things happen. Go have lunch, take a shower and a nap. He told me he was glad I was his mom and was glad I didn't get mad about it. I did tell him to get an additional alarm clock.

Then he texted last night and said he joined the Sailing Club. In Oklahoma. Hee-hee. And he HATES water, beaches, swimming, etc. I teased a little bit, but mostly encouraged and am THRILLED he joined any club at this point! Three friends from his HS joined too. I'm glad he's getting out.

Hugs to everyone this weekend!!! We can do this!

 

[Katy Belle]

Got a call from my DS yesterday afternoon. To check on me (I had a colonoscopy yesterday morning and he was concerned-

 

[MouseMomx2]

Well, life does go on. Doesn't it? Quieter, but what's a mom to do :-( My twins are both settled in. One moved into a house with 4 of his friends and the other is living in an apartment on campus. They are both thrilled and I am less than thrilled LOL. I want them to miss me and home as much as I miss them. I would never say anything to them. This should be about them and not about me. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I skyped last night with my son who goes to Umass Amherst, but he wouldn't do the video Skype because he said that he hasn't been away long enough....haha. I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone. He ended up commuting last year for his Sophomore year so I got used to him being at home. He wanted so badly to leave home and needs to put some distance between us. When he wouldn't answer my message the other night, I sat at the computer and cried.

His twin brother is in his Junior year at Umass Dartmouth and has had no trouble settling in. He's a little bit more receptive to me, but still needs the space. I think summer was longer for him than for me. He called yesterday asking about ink for his printer and when I started to chat I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he just wanted it to be a "business" call. So I got the message and stopped trying to chat. That was hard.

I miss them so much.

Our oldest son is a second semester Junior. He has 3 semesters left. He decided to stay home with us and finish school at the local state school. He will be 22 in a few days and is ready to be finished with school. It has been a long road for him. His second semester sophomore year he got cancer. He was able to finish a few of his classes. He ended up taking the next year off because he was still so sick from the chemo. Last year he ended up going away to school and lived in his own apartment. But, the reality of the expense of school has made him see that he needs to finish as inexpensively as possible. He has one class on campus and 3 on-line. He is thrilled with that.

So, our house isn't quite as quiet and empty as we thought it would be. Although, we don't see him very much, it is still nice to have a third voice in the house sometimes beside the red sox announcers.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

Hi everyone! I have been lurking here for a while but haven't posted until now. DS18 went off to college this year and I also have a DD21 who is commuting from home.

Nancygirl, my DS is at UMass Amherst too. And in further something-in-common news my DD is commuting from home after an illness in her second-semester Sophomore year. Weird, no? After her illness she came to the realization that she hadn't been on the right academic path and wasn't exactly sure what she wanted so she decided to take classes at community college. She is now finishing up an Associate's Degree and will transfer to a 4-year school next Fall. If you ever need to vent/talk/share please PM me.

DS's transition to UMass has been very easy. He made a few good friends right away, got a job on campus and likes all of his classes/teachers. I am sure that there will be some bumps in the road, but for now it is good. And the fact that it is good makes it easier for me to deal with the separation. As long as I know he is happy I am happy. I certainly have my bad days where I miss him terribly, but I know they will get easier as time goes on.

He did come home yesterday (we're only about 90 minutes away) to pick up some things he forgot, but after lunch he went right back to school...and I think that was good for both of us. He doesn't call much but he does text regularly.

My heart goes out to all of you who are struggling with the transition. The DIS is such a great community for things like this...where everyone can share and see that there are others in the same situation, feeling the same feelings.

 

[LisaR]

Sure enough, tears flowed. Her computer isn't working right, she was asked to go to a party with her roommate but she doesn't want to go, it is going to be in the 90's the next 4 or 5 days and she doesn't like walking in the heat, and she just wants to come home, because she has decided college isn't what she wants.

DD goes to college in FL. It has been 90+ degrees every single day. This was DD BEFORE leaving for school: "Bus?? Who takes the bus to class? How lazy. I will NEVER take the bus. I look forward to the exercise."

We moved DD in on a Thursday and she had an 8am meeting on the main part of campus (about a 20 minute walk) the next morning. It wasn't even *that* hot at that time of the morning. By the end of that day, DD learned the bus system and hasn't walked to class since! She still has some walking to do from where the bus drops her, but she said at least she isn't completely covered in sweat now.

Well, life does go on. Doesn't it? Quieter, but what's a mom to do :-( My twins are both settled in. One moved into a house with 4 of his friends and the other is living in an apartment on campus. They are both thrilled and I am less than thrilled LOL. I want them to miss me and home as much as I miss them. I would never say anything to them. This should be about them and not about me. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out (again).

I skyped last night with my son who goes to Umass Amherst, but he wouldn't do the video Skype because he said that he hasn't been away long enough....haha. I did send him a message later on the same night and basically asked him to have patience with me as I get used to him being gone. He ended up commuting last year for his Sophomore year so I got used to him being at home. He wanted so badly to leave home and needs to put some distance between us. When he wouldn't answer my message the other night, I sat at the computer and cried.

His twin brother is in his Junior year at Umass Dartmouth and has had no trouble settling in. He's a little bit more receptive to me, but still needs the space. I think summer was longer for him than for me. He called yesterday asking about ink for his printer and when I started to chat I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he just wanted it to be a "business" call. So I got the message and stopped trying to chat. That was hard.

I miss them so much.

Our oldest son is a second semester Junior. He has 3 semesters left. He decided to stay home with us and finish school at the local state school. He will be 22 in a few days and is ready to be finished with school. It has been a long road for him. His second semester sophomore year he got cancer. He was able to finish a few of his classes. He ended up taking the next year off because he was still so sick from the chemo. Last year he ended up going away to school and lived in his own apartment. But, the reality of the expense of school has made him see that he needs to finish as inexpensively as possible. He has one class on campus and 3 on-line. He is thrilled with that.

So, our house isn't quite as quiet and empty as we thought it would be. Although, we don't see him very much, it is still nice to have a third voice in the house sometimes beside the red sox announcers.

My new reality continues to shift. I'm trying to go with it, but it's so hard sometimes. I find myself getting frustrated because I can't share with them like I want to. I thought it was hard when they were babies. I never imagined this heartache.

Sorry this is so long. My husband can only listen to so much and then I have to stop. He is sad too and deals with it in his own way. It's nice to have someone else to "talk" too.

Hang in there!

My homesick daughter called again last night, said she is fine, she was just PMS-ing the last few days, so her emotions got the best of her. That girl, refuses to admit to any perceived weakness of character. But, it's why I know she will power through her fears and homesickness - she is just so darn determined.

So glad she is doing better and it was just the dreaded pms. DD get the same way a few days a month. I hope it doesn't hit during midterms or finals. I think they should allow girls to postpone tests when they are pms.

Got a call from my DS yesterday afternoon. To check on me (I had a colonoscopy yesterday morning and he was concerned-

 

[LisaR]

S

Then he texted last night and said he joined the Sailing Club. In Oklahoma. Hee-hee. And he HATES water, beaches, swimming, etc. I teased a little bit, but mostly encouraged and am THRILLED he joined any club at this point! Three friends from his HS joined too. I'm glad he's getting out.

Hugs to everyone this weekend!!! We can do this!

DD played basketball last night with a group of people. We have a basketball court at the end of our subdivision and if I offered her $100 to go down there and play, she wouldn't. I don't think she has ever dribbled a basketball in her life. Who are these kids of ours?

 

[Katy Belle]

DD played basketball last night with a group of people. We have a basketball court at the end of our subdivision and if I offered her $100 to go down there and play, she wouldn't. I don't think she has ever dribbled a basketball in her life. Who are these kids of ours?

Yes, who are they?? But it shows effort in trying to meet people and be involved!!! So happy mine is sailing and yours is playing basketball!

 

[disykat]

It's comforting to read about others going through the same things. We still have two more weeks before our son leaves. Meanwhile our other son, who is two years older, came home from his internship to move his furniture out today to use in an apartment - leaving an empty room. DH and both sons are loading up the truck. After I watch them drive away, I need to go pick up our dog's ashes (I mentioned earlier on this thread that we might lose her, and we did) and then go in to the new job I started this week.

This is overwhelming. In many ways, the timing is horrible. However, I think everything happening at once might be saving me from dwelling on any one stressor.

 

[marcyinPA]

It's comforting to read about others going through the same things. We still have two more weeks before our son leaves. Meanwhile our other son, who is two years older, came home from his internship to move his furniture out today to use in an apartment - leaving an empty room. DH and both sons are loading up the truck. After I watch them drive away, I need to go pick up our dog's ashes (I mentioned earlier on this thread that we might lose her, and we did) and then go in to the new job I started this week.

This is overwhelming. In many ways, the timing is horrible. However, I think everything happening at once might be saving me from dwelling on any one stressor.

I am so sorry about your dog! And with everything else happening, sounds like you need a group hug!!

 

[HERSEY]

It's comforting to read about others going through the same things. We still have two more weeks before our son leaves. Meanwhile our other son, who is two years older, came home from his internship to move his furniture out today to use in an apartment - leaving an empty room. DH and both sons are loading up the truck. After I watch them drive away, I need to go pick up our dog's ashes (I mentioned earlier on this thread that we might lose her, and we did) and then go in to the new job I started this week.

This is overwhelming. In many ways, the timing is horrible. However, I think everything happening at once might be saving me from dwelling on any one stressor.

I am sorry to hear about you dog. That is not a easy thing to handle is the best of times.

 

[HERSEY]

I just talked to my son. He thinks is might be getting sick. If he is most likely just a cold, but probably allergies. Good thing with all the stuff we bought and packed, I thought about this. He has a small box of Advil, cough syrup, bandaids, etc. He laughed at the time he saw it but who is laughing now.
Anyway we had a good long talk, all of 30 minutes. He usually just did the 1 word response, now whole sentences are coming out of him. He also mentioned he is looking for a job. Who is this kid? The mere mention of that word before would give him the hives. He found out that he could get an internship but he needs to maintain a GPA of 3.5. If we were talking high school he had no problem. He is saying he is trying to balance his social life with his studies. He is staying in his room this weekend studying he has 2 test in classes for his major to take.

Once again I am glad we are all sharing similar things. It makes missing our kids almost bearable. I do miss that kid

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

I just talked to my son. He thinks is might be getting sick. If he is most likely just a cold, but probably allergies. Good thing with all the stuff we bought and packed, I thought about this. He has a small box of Advil, cough syrup, bandaids, etc. He laughed at the time he saw it but who is laughing now.
Anyway we had a good long talk, all of 30 minutes. He usually just did the 1 word response, now whole sentences are coming out of him. He also mentioned he is looking for a job. Who is this kid? The mere mention of that word before would give him the hives. He found out that he could get an internship but he needs to maintain a GPA of 3.5. If we were talking high school he had no problem. He is saying he is trying to balance his social life with his studies. He is staying in his room this weekend studying he has 2 test in classes for his major to take.

Once again I am glad we are all sharing similar things. It makes missing our kids almost bearable. I do miss that kid

Glad I found this thread too. My son has been gone two weeks. I learned the hard way last year that if I bug him too much he starts telling me his phone doesn't ring or he doesn't feel the text buzz him.

Well today I wanted to touch base. Especially since I found this thread.
I decided to try a text. I sent "Did I earn a check in phone call yet?"
and within minutes I got a phone call.

I remembered last year he said it overwhelmed him when I asked lots of questions. Why did I ask lots of questions? Because I got one word answers. LOL
So instead of asking a question I said "So tell me about your classes".
Hmmm it worked. He gave me some information that was more than one word. But of course I had to stay things like "and Physics" but I got info!!!

He also told me that he was waiting for his group of 6 friends from his floor, to come back from dinner and they were playing "D&D" in the common area tonight. Now if you have a son like mine, you know this is a BIG deal.

Anyway, Momma is happy to know that son is happy and doing ok. He said he was "tutoring" his roommate in Physics because so far it's pretty much what he learned in high school. Sigh I sure hope he works with the learning center soon and gets paid for some of his "tutoring". Even in high school kids would come to him asking for help.

Well anyway, I just wanted to tell you that last year was super hard but even though this year is hard, it's not as bad. BUT then again I have been reading DIS for months since I'm going to Disney world in November.
Even last night I did some "practice packing" as my BFF calls it. That's when you make some decisions of what you are going to bring and see if it fits in the suitcase you are planning to bring, so you can see if you have room to bring back stuff on the way home.
It was kind of a rewarding feeling! With 70 days to go!

Thanks for listening. Glad to meet you.

Oh and I did the same thing with the cold meds and so on and my son used a bunch of the things he rolled his eyes about.
And some of his friends when they graduated I made them a "things you might not think to pack" and one of the boys came to me this summer and said "That was the best thing every! I think I used most of what you sent." giggles

 

[nancygirl1]

Hi everyone! I have been lurking here for a while but haven't posted until now. DS18 went off to college this year and I also have a DD21 who is commuting from home.

Nancygirl, my DS is at UMass Amherst too. And in further something-in-common news my DD is commuting from home after an illness in her second-semester Sophomore year. Weird, no? After her illness she came to the realization that she hadn't been on the right academic path and wasn't exactly sure what she wanted so she decided to take classes at community college. She is now finishing up an Associate's Degree and will transfer to a 4-year school next Fall. If you ever need to vent/talk/share please PM me.

DS's transition to UMass has been very easy. He made a few good friends right away, got a job on campus and likes all of his classes/teachers. I am sure that there will be some bumps in the road, but for now it is good. And the fact that it is good makes it easier for me to deal with the separation. As long as I know he is happy I am happy. I certainly have my bad days where I miss him terribly, but I know they will get easier as time goes on.

Funny the connections we have with people. Small world. My oldest was at Umass Amherst last year and really liked it. He is not very social so leaving to come back home wasn't too difficult a decision. He just wants to finish.

My other son (one of the twins)who now goes there has only been actually going to classes for 4 days. Of course, I have no idea how things are going! I have been "warning" him for a few days that I am calling tomorrow. He doesn't sound thrilled, but he knows me well enough to know that it's important to me. I know that he likes it there in general. How can he not? He's living with 4 of his friends which is a teenagers dream! Like so many other kids in MA, he has spent a weekend here or there on campus. I'm looking forward to hearing his voice (I miss it so much). I can't wait to see if he's actually going to participate in the conversation

Sometimes I'm so afraid that I'm going to come off as too "needy" to them when we talk. I miss them so much, but I don't want them to feel guilty for leaving. Their intent is not to leave "me", but to move on with their own lives. That's what I did and my mother was what I don't want to be like.

Hang in there everyone. I know it will get easier This isn't my first time, but it still is difficult. Those of you who are going through it the first time (I posted my story at the beginning of this thread about our first time when all 3 went away in one weekend) it will and does get easier.

God blessed me with 3 wonderful sons and I am grateful every day.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

For parents new to this process...be warned! My son runs his own life all year at school and during the summer at an internship. But when he comes home from breaks, he has forgotten how to hang up a towel, make his bed, make a meal, or throw the empty milk carton in the trash! LOL They seem to regress!