Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[krcit]

One of the worst things about your child attending college 3000 miles away...son called yesterday. Feeling really sick, sore throat, trouble breathing. Got a text this morning that he is at the health center hooked up to breathing treatment machine. Kind of want to hop on a plane right now....

Yikes!! I didn't see this. Oh no....I hope he is better asap. You must be so nervous

 

[marcyinPA]

One of the worst things about your child attending college 3000 miles away...son called yesterday. Feeling really sick, sore throat, trouble breathing. Got a text this morning that he is at the health center hooked up to breathing treatment machine. Kind of want to hop on a plane right now....

I am so sorry he is feeling so badly! I would be a mess and can identify with wanting to hop a plane!

I am wondering if he is on the East Coast somewhere now, and if it could be allergies? We live in a hotbed of allergies here in PA- people who have never had allergies in their entire lives are bothered by them in my area.

I hope he feels better soon!!!

 

[mom2travel]

One of the worst things about your child attending college 3000 miles away...son called yesterday. Feeling really sick, sore throat, trouble breathing. Got a text this morning that he is at the health center hooked up to breathing treatment machine. Kind of want to hop on a plane right now....

Awww...
I hope your son feels better soon. Hang in there momma

My DS also told me lots of kids at his school are getting sick. I guess they need to adjust to communal living and monitoring their own sleep/eating/health needs.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

PRINCESS VIJA I don't know about fraternities but I remember the school saying something that have strong antihazing policies. I hope that is true. Your son maybe looking for a family like environment. I heard that some jobs are obtained through fraternity connections, so that may not be a bad thing.
All I can think of is the movie Animal House

I am doing all kinds of decluttering. I saved these projects cause I knew I would need something to do later. I also am thinking about taking a part time job, I need to fill the nights with something.

I did read online that this particular fraternity has the antihazing policies, but you know that they don't often follow those. I guess DH and DS texted about it this morning and DS told DH not too worry that he can handle it. I hope so.

Awesome idea of the decluttering. Good luck thoughts sent your way if you do decide to go for a part time job.

Regarding trying to keep in touch with our college kids, we all know to give them space, but it is so darn hard! To go from having them around every day (even if it is just seeing a cup and plate on the table knowing they ate on the way to this or that activity!) to not knowing how they are now, it is just such a difference.

I know what you mean. that really is the difference that they just aren't here. the house does seem so empty. Even though he was gone a lot in the evenings, I just always knew he would be coming home at night to sleep. I miss him

My youngest called last night, in tears. It has been 3 weeks now since she left, and the breakdown has happened. She is feeling the pressure, too much homework, too many classes (17 credit hours, 3 of those classes are honours classes), and she failed an online test, in her strongest subject, that she took in her dorm room due to not being able to concentrate (dorm activity, you know). She asked if it was ok to skip her Honours Forum class that evening so she could keep doing her homework. The shock isn't from skipping the class, it is that she is at college and still wanted my opinion on whether this was ok to do, and did I approve!?!

Of course they still need us! They don't always know it. glad she reached out to you for help. I'll be just talking about it made it better for her. I hope she feels better soon.


So what did I, as her mother, do to make her feel better after we hung up the phone? I sent her multiple pictures of her cat being adorable, and then some pictures of her favorite celebrities looking "hot" (hey, might be weird for some of you to do, but I am from Europe, and we find nothing wrong with admiring the living works of art God has placed on this earth ).

I LOVE how you said that! "Living works of art God has placed on this earth" THAT IS THE BEST! Made me smile!

In the mean time, my daughter's cat is driving us all nuts! Constantly meowing at the top of the stairs, calling my daughter the way she would when she was home, bugging DH and I for attention whenever we go upstairs, and wailing in the middle of the night on my daughter's pillow. Poor kitty. Hopefully next year my daughter will move off-campus so she can have her cat with her!
Oh, poor kitty cat, she will be so happy when your DD comes home.

I was a late bloomer and pledged a sorority in my junior year. I had to quit because it was sooooo time consuming and my classes were intense by that point. Now this was 25 years ago, and there were late night "kidnappings" and pitchers of beer to be chugged at mixers- so I am not sure how it is these days. I would imagine that the service frats involve quite a bit of partying still, which I know my DS would not be interested in. There are also honors frats that are based on academics. Not that they never drink, but at least when I went to college, were a bit more tame.
I am sure your DS is looking for a group to be a part of. I hope he finds the right fit for him!

I hope your right about looking for the group. According to him, there are only 5 frats on campus, and this is the only one that would be a fit for him. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I just teared up at the Jiff commercial with the mom calling her daughter at college. OMG, I have no life!!! Lol

I hadn't seen it yet, and had to look it up. Made me sad...

Yeah that one get me too. There is one I forget for what Bank or credit card company it is, the daughter is moving in a dorm and the dad is giving the boys the evil eye.

Is it just me or is there more college related commercials around. Maybe my focus is different this year

Hmmm, I will have to go hunt that one out, I honestly have not noticed college commercials. Probably denial!

I haven't seen the bank commercial, but had to chuckle. You don't think those things happen in real life- they do. When moving dd into her off campus house last month my dh caught a glimpse of her neighbors. It seems as though next door lives a house full of baseball players. Dad was full-on mean mugging, lol.

that is funny! But I was doing the opposite... looking at all the girls in the dorm where DS is and eyeing them up to make sure they are "nice" girls! and noticing a few that did not seem particularly nice

One of the worst things about your child attending college 3000 miles away...son called yesterday. Feeling really sick, sore throat, trouble breathing. Got a text this morning that he is at the health center hooked up to breathing treatment machine. Kind of want to hop on a plane right now....

Oh no... that stinks. I hope he feels better soon. I can't imagine how helpless you feel, and all you want is to "make it all better". Hang in there and let us know how he is doing.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

University health center gave my son breathing treatments and said he has illness-induced asthma. Never had this before. He needs meds and a decongestant and an inhaler from the pharmacy...two miles away, no car. SIGH

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I'm not an expert on greek life. But I really don't think hazing goes on in the sensational way it did before. One of the friends my son has at school is a kid he has known from home for years. So he's one of his small group of buddies so far. Anyway, this kid joined a frat before starting school (not sure how that works. Maybe he was a legacy or something??) But he has gotten a taste of frat life from nearby without joining one for himself. I don't care if he does, but am not actively encouraging it either. It is entirely his choice. But I don't think he will just from the little bit he has seen and what I know about his personality. Just silly stuff about having to get up at 6 AM and walk to Wal-Mart (a ways away) to get the stuff the other frat members needed that day. Or having to stay up late or get up early to clean up after a party. So nothing shocking or illegal, just stuff I'm pretty sure my DS won't want any part of.

But I have no idea how it is at other schools. My son is at an engineering school, so not a broad range of personality types either.

You are probably right that hazing is probably done in a less crazy way, but they still have to do the "dirty" work such as cleaning up after parties, etc. I'll have to hope that he continues to make good choices and is smart about it all.

 

[mom2rtk]

University health center gave my son breathing treatments and said he has illness-induced asthma. Never had this before. He needs meds and a decongestant and an inhaler from the pharmacy...two miles away, no car. SIGH

to both you and your son. I'm glad he got seen and will be on the mend soon. Maybe you can check around and see if there is a pharmacy somewhere nearby with a delivery service? I know if I ran a pharmacy near a college campus, I'd sure try to offer delivery.

I hope he's better soon.

 

[LisaR]

University health center gave my son breathing treatments and said he has illness-induced asthma. Never had this before. He needs meds and a decongestant and an inhaler from the pharmacy...two miles away, no car. SIGH

Ugh! Hopefully he can find a friend to go pick up the meds for him or find a delivery service. Poor kid and poor you!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

He did it again! SKYPE!!!! Got to love it! How did parents ever get through sending their kids to college before Skype & Texts???

So we talked for about another 50 min tonight. He initiated the contact. My FAVORITE conversation went something like this...

Me: Nothing much else going on here, except we miss you
DS: Yeah, I love you too Mom.

A few sentences later he asked if I "got it" when I said I missed him and he responded back with "I love you", I told him of course I got it and loved it!!!

He also told me not too worry about the fraternity. I told him I wasn't harping on him about it, and he responded back with "No, but you keep telling someone to make sure I call you and that you are having that person check in with me" (he of course means DH! LOL)

As far as the fraternity goes, one thing that I love (and he knew I would love this) is that they are very serious about a grade point requirement. He said they also are very big into community service projects and charity. He said it was like a college level boy scouts! (DS is an Eagle Scout)

So, I wonder how soon these calls are going to diminish in frequency. I'm loving them so far and will hold them very dear to my heart right now.

AND GUESS WHAT????? I told him we would be heading up north to go to my parents cottage and if he wanted we could swing past and drop off anything he needs. We bantered back and forth about what I could bring that would be worth him giving me a hug. (his favorite cookies and favorite drink (non alcoholic) were brought to the table by him.) He said though that he might get teased if "Mommy had to come up the first weekend". He then brought up the idea of maybe going out to eat somewhere for lunch and dinner. He'll look into his schedule and get back to us, but I may be seeing my baby in a couple of days!

If not, I'll be OK waiting for another 2 weeks, but there might be a possibility!

Ahhh, life is good

 

[HERSEY]

PRINCESS VIJA I am glad you are talking with your son. He sounds like a great kid Go make him those cookies.

I have no idea how to skype I'll call my son tomorrow. I need to ask him his schedule. I was looking in to bus schedule to bring him home sometimes. It will save me from driving so much. While I love my car the miles are racking up
quickly.

ILUVALASKA I hope your son found a way to get his medication. That has to be the worst, being sick away from home. I hope you were able to sleep with worrying

LisaR I have good days and bad days also. On the good days I don't miss him so much but the bad one oh man! on those days it is hard to walk past his room.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

One of the worst things about your child attending college 3000 miles away...son called yesterday. Feeling really sick, sore throat, trouble breathing. Got a text this morning that he is at the health center hooked up to breathing treatment machine. Kind of want to hop on a plane right now....

UGH, I know. My dd has a heart defect and the first yr. she went to school was when the swine flu was going around the dorms. She got the flu twice that yr. It was not good.

Healing hugs sent your way.....

 

[luvavacation]

ILUVALASKA, big hugs to you, I know how scary having a sick child away from home can be, and then being 3,000 miles away? At least he went to the health center, I am so glad these are available on campus.

Does your son have a teacher or perhaps RA that he could ask for a ride? Or is he taking part in any of the church organizations on campus? I ask because, when my eldest was a Freshman, she had a teacher that was a great help to the kids if they needed anything, and also the Wesley Foundation (Methodists on college campus) had lots of people available if any of the college kids needed a ride or help with something. I can't say anything positive about any of the RA's my daughters have encountered, but I have heard that some RA's can be like big sisters or brothers, very helpful in times of need. Either way, I hope your son is feeling better by the time you read this!

My daughter called again last night, she started out saying she is fine, but hey, I am her mom, I can hear it in her voice when she isn't fine! Plus, she wouldn't Skype, so you know there is something when she doesn't want me to see her!

Sure enough, tears flowed. Her computer isn't working right, she was asked to go to a party with her roommate but she doesn't want to go, it is going to be in the 90's the next 4 or 5 days and she doesn't like walking in the heat, and she just wants to come home, because she has decided college isn't what she wants.

I know she is just venting, and this happened the first week after her older sister would come home for a visit, too. So be prepared parents, going back to school after a nice visit home might make them homesick again!

All we can do is listen, try to comfort them, act strong and confident while on the phone, then hang up and cry because we worry and just want our children to be happy and joyful all the time, not sad. And perhaps continue trying to convince DH that we NEED an RV to load up the dogs in and go visit our girls whenever we want, no need to find someone to watch the dogs over a weekend. He is caving, two more tearful calls might do it!

On a funny/adorable note, woke up to strange noises this morning. Upon investigation, I found my 9 month old, 102 pound male German Shepherd Kili rolled up in my youngest daughter's covers, sniffing her pillow. Aww, I think he is trying to find her!

My youngest is the one that held this puppy on her lap for the one hour drive home when we bought him, and she has a fondness for him that she never had for our other dog (sure, she loves our other dog, but there is just something about my daughter and our dog Kili - I think it is their similar personalities! ). So now we know, not just my daughter's cat is missing her, but so is our monster puppy. It is nice to know they miss our kids too, as I read that others have similar experiences! I of course do not miss her at all. I am too busy dealing with the emotional animals!

Finally, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for this wonderful group of fellow parents. Somedays I am too busy (yes, I am trying!) to get here and read how things are going for the rest of you, but then there are the quiet mornings when I sit here, with a cup of coffee and dogs at my feet and my cat on my lap, and I just feel the emptiness. It is so nice on those mornings to have a place to go online and read how the rest of you and your children are doing, and know that we can all lift each other up and help each other thru this new stage in our lives. No one makes anyone feel odd for missing our children, we don't tell anyone to get over it, we just support. Thanks for that!

 

[mom2rtk]

ILUVALASKA, big hugs to you, I know how scary having a sick child away from home can be, and then being 3,000 miles away? At least he went to the health center, I am so glad these are available on campus.

Does your son have a teacher or perhaps RA that he could ask for a ride? Or is he taking part in any of the church organizations on campus? I ask because, when my eldest was a Freshman, she had a teacher that was a great help to the kids if they needed anything, and also the Wesley Foundation (Methodists on college campus) had lots of people available if any of the college kids needed a ride or help with something. I can't say anything positive about any of the RA's my daughters have encountered, but I have heard that some RA's can be like big sisters or brothers, very helpful in times of need. Either way, I hope your son is feeling better by the time you read this!

My daughter called again last night, she started out saying she is fine, but hey, I am her mom, I can hear it in her voice when she isn't fine! Plus, she wouldn't Skype, so you know there is something when she doesn't want me to see her!

Sure enough, tears flowed. Her computer isn't working right, she was asked to go to a party with her roommate but she doesn't want to go, it is going to be in the 90's the next 4 or 5 days and she doesn't like walking in the heat, and she just wants to come home, because she has decided college isn't what she wants.

I know she is just venting, and this happened the first week after her older sister would come home for a visit, too. So be prepared parents, going back to school after a nice visit home might make them homesick again!

All we can do is listen, try to comfort them, act strong and confident while on the phone, then hang up and cry because we worry and just want our children to be happy and joyful all the time, not sad. And perhaps continue trying to convince DH that we NEED an RV to load up the dogs in and go visit our girls whenever we want, no need to find someone to watch the dogs over a weekend. He is caving, two more tearful calls might do it!

On a funny/adorable note, woke up to strange noises this morning. Upon investigation, I found my 9 month old, 102 pound male German Shepherd Kili rolled up in my youngest daughter's covers, sniffing her pillow. Aww, I think he is trying to find her!

My youngest is the one that held this puppy on her lap for the one hour drive home when we bought him, and she has a fondness for him that she never had for our other dog (sure, she loves our other dog, but there is just something about my daughter and our dog Kili - I think it is their similar personalities! ). So now we know, not just my daughter's cat is missing her, but so is our monster puppy. It is nice to know they miss our kids too, as I read that others have similar experiences! I of course do not miss her at all. I am too busy dealing with the emotional animals!

Finally, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for this wonderful group of fellow parents. Somedays I am too busy (yes, I am trying!) to get here and read how things are going for the rest of you, but then there are the quiet mornings when I sit here, with a cup of coffee and dogs at my feet and my cat on my lap, and I just feel the emptiness. It is so nice on those mornings to have a place to go online and read how the rest of you and your children are doing, and know that we can all lift each other up and help each other thru this new stage in our lives. No one makes anyone feel odd for missing our children, we don't tell anyone to get over it, we just support. Thanks for that!

Oh my. I think that is what we all fear the most..... the pain our kids feel when they are homesick and want to pack it all in. Kudos to you for being strong when she needed it. I know when I was away at school, I felt intense homesickness my first semester. And I'm so glad I saw it through.

I agree that this group has been great. It has really helped me to anticipate issues and see how others are dealing with them.

And might I add..... I would be really cranky if I had to walk across campus in 90+ temps in the heat of the day! At least when I went to school we didn't start until late September, so I never had the heat issues. Which was good because I was on the 4th floor with no A/C. Yuck. I'm really surprised to see some posting here that their kids are in dorms with no A/C starting in August.

Keep us posted on how your DD is doing.

 

[HERSEY]

This late season heat makes anyone cranky. Me included. My son's residence hall and a lot of class rooms have no air conditioning. He is on the 8th floor with 4 fans going. Good thing I don't have to worry about the electric bill
When I expressed concern about this heat and how is handling it, he told me he was drinking lots of water and spending as much time in the air conditioned library. My boy was listening to me and just not rolling his eyes at me

I am glad to hear that you all are suffering through the left behind pets also. I am still seriously considering stuffing the dog in a box to send to DS

 

[mom2rtk]

This late season heat makes anyone cranky. Me included. My son's residence hall and a lot of class rooms have no air conditioning. He is on the 8th floor with 4 fans going. Good thing I don't have to worry about the electric bill
When I expressed concern about this heat and how is handling it, he told me he was drinking lots of water and spending as much time in the air conditioned library. My boy was listening to me and just not rolling his eyes at me

I am glad to hear that you all are suffering through the left behind pets also. I am still seriously considering stuffing the dog in a box to send to DS

My son said they had their A/C set on 65. And he says they keep sneaking into the RA's room and turning his way down. I'm hoping we don't get hit with some sort of surcharge for that! I thought the room/board costs were high. Maybe we're getting a bargain!

My DS's cat is sure missing him. I'm surprised at how much I'm seeing him downstairs during the day now. He only used to come down when he needed food. Now he hangs with me. I put my DD in charge of entertaining him though. I now find cat toys in the shopping cart every time we go grocery shopping......

 

[georgina]

University health center gave my son breathing treatments and said he has illness-induced asthma. Never had this before. He needs meds and a decongestant and an inhaler from the pharmacy...two miles away, no car. SIGH

I developed asthma as an adult after a bad bout of bronchitis. I only get asthma symptoms when I have a respiratory illness or bad allergies.

I see you are in Claremont. That is where my DD is a freshman. Her dorm is air conditioned, but some of them are not.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

Son rode the bus to the pharmacy to get inhaler. I will call him today to see if he is feeling better. Thanks all!

 

[ILUVALASKA]

I developed asthma as an adult after a bad bout of bronchitis. I only get asthma symptoms when I have a respiratory illness or bad allergies.

I see you are in Claremont. That is where my DD is a freshman. Her dorm is air conditioned, but some of them are not.

Georgina- too funny! My son is in Pittsburgh at CMU! I should have called you! LOL

 

[georgina]

That is funny! I am about 40 minutes from CMU, but if he ever is in an emergency, let me know!

 

[marcyinPA]

Georgina- too funny! My son is in Pittsburgh at CMU! I should have called you! LOL

My best friend's son is a senior at CMU! Great school, and centrally located to conveniences. Now I am wondering if my previous post about allergies might be true. I don't know why PA, but seems that everyone on this state is affected by them. Whether they had them in the past or not. Hope he is feeling better soon!