My opinion of Family Weekends is that, if you are into college football and your child really roots for the team, go, and enjoy the game and everything else related to it (that is, if your Family Weekend revolves around a football game). If you child does not care at all about the game but will be lonely if you don't show up and everyone else has a parent there, then go and do stuff off campus. If your child could honestly care less and you know this is really how they feel, then don't feel pressured to go if you aren't interested in anything offered and you know your child won't mind.
I say this because my experience with my eldest daughter's first FW was such that, well, let me just say we never did another! We went, she isn't into football at all, so she just hung out at the hotel with us, swam in the pool, explored the area, etc. This was good, as FW is extremely crowded and packed, and much patience is required to navigate your way around campus and the roads (at least at Purdue, where DD went). Every FW after Freshman year, she just came home. She preferred that to being at school with all the crowds.
My youngest is still on the fence about FW. I did make reservations at a hotel months ago, but ended up with a hotel that is not to our liking, only because everything else was booked up already!
But DD has looked at the schedule, and other than possibly wanting to see a concert that Cheap Trick is putting on, she doesn't care to go. She found out that one of the girls she met that lives in the area is coming home that weekend, so she is probably going to ride home with her. DD wants to see her cat more than Cheap Trick. Works for me!
On to roommates, the unpredictable experience of college roommates. DD's roommate has just broken up with her girlfriend. Found out the girlfriend was cheating on her. The roommate is distraught, and now DD is upset because she is trying to do all sorts of nice things for her roommate, and the girl just won't talk to her or say much of anything. DD is irritated because she just wants to be a friend to her roommate, but her roommate seems to not want any sympathy from DD, and just chooses to say nothing but cry and leave the dorm room for her other friends on campus.
I told DD to just leave the roommate to settle this on her own, that not everyone deals with a break-up the way DD thinks they should. Mind you, DD has never had a serious boyfriend that she was "in love" with, so she has no idea the depth of pain a cheating BF/GF can cause. DD's method of "suck-it-up, Buttercup" and go out with your friends just may not be how this roommate faces her unhappiness. I told DD that this doesn't mean DD is not a good person, but she just will meet many different types of people at college, and learning to adapt to their personalities is a part of gaining maturity. And of course, even if she rolls her eyes at it, I told her God still sees the good things she is doing, and it pleases Him and her parents.
While we certainly aren't conservative Christians by any stretch, I still hope for my DD's to rely on their faith when they feel completely alone. College is a time of finding oneself, of seeing what you really believe about the world, and I won't disown my children if they reject Christianity, but I hope they at least find some type of strength in a higher power. If nothing else, I know it helps me to have Someone to pray to, and know that in the complete quiet, there is Someone listening to my lamentations. But she will figure this out for herself, and until then, she can roll her eyes through the phone as much as she wants!
My daughter also went to her first college party last night! Ok, now most parents may not be thrilled with this, but DD has been building up fears about what a college party is like and how she is afraid to go, and I kept telling her to just go and see, and she can always leave if things aren't to her liking. However, she should go, and maybe she might meet new people and expand her friend group. So, DD went with a friend to a party.
According to DD (and this is why I am glad to have girls, they tell me everything in so much detail, whether I want it or not!), the party was off campus, about 4 blocks away, there was a police presence all over, so she felt safe if she needed to leave the party and her friend didn't want to leave. DD says she did not have a drink, though she did hold a cup to look like she had something (she listened to my advice!
). She wanted to leave after the first half hour, but then she started talking to some other people, they played some card games, then some people started getting drunk, she smelled something really odd, people were smoking something strange, she though it might be weed (most likely dear, but since none of her friends back home were into that, she never smelled it). She talked to a really cute guy for awhile, which is very important you know
, but then when she saw some girls getting really drunk she decided she wanted to go back to her dorm, found her friend, and they both left together. All in all, 2.5 hours at her first party, and she decided it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.
Next week, she might go with another friend to a party with the drumline section of the band. She has heard those parties don't really have any drinking, so she won't see anyone throw-up. That is a plus for her.
I am so proud of her! I told her how wonderful that she made good choices, and of course she could just be lying through her teeth with everything she told me, but we know our kids pretty well, and I believe her. She now has done something in college that her big sister never did - attended a party! What can I say, my girls lean toward the "fun with no artificial substances" side. Not sure if younger DD will hold to this as college life continues, but for now, I am glad to hear she actually was listening to our conversations.
She might still be trying to fix all the problems her friends are having, even if they don't want her to, but at least she is staying strong in her convictions. I am enjoying this bit of contentment on how her life is going at college, at least for now, because I know it won't be long before she calls me crying again!
And to the PP that has had alot of sadness happen all at once, including the death of her dog, I think you are right, at least it has all happened at once instead of being drawn out. I hope you will find your days getting brighter as time goes on.
So I was lucky and got a room for 1 night at the end of Sept. His school is 4 1/2 hours away going for the day is not an option since I'll be driving by myself Still with me?
My son just texted me a photo of the controls on the washer the first time he did laundry. Not a bad conversations starter, huh?
You just never know. One Mom died laughing when she saw her son got a Door stop! Hey you never know.
