Gave something to someone for free, now they are selling it?

[Chuck S]

Actually, I've always had the philosophy that if you GIVE something to someone, it is theirs. They may do with it as they please, sell it, destroy it, hrow it away, regift it...whataever. Otherwise, you did not really give it to them, you simply loaned it to them.

 

[Lady_Gracey999]

I had a similar thing happen to me once.

I once loaned my music history textbooks and cds (total paid new about $200) to a "friend" for a semester. At the end of said semester I started asking for the stuff back. I didn't need it as I wasn't in the class anymore, but like to keep my old books and besides...expensive! He kept dodging me and telling me he would get them to me. I eventually forgot about it. Other things had me occupied (like graduating).

Just recently however, I was looking for them again to do some fact checking. Remembering that he had them last I start trying to contact him by phone, email, Facebook, etc. No response in any way shape or form. A week or so ago though I got an unusual message from someone I didn't even know on Facebook. She was just letting me know that she had one of my old textbooks!

THAT @$#!$& SOLD MY TEXTBOOKS BACK TO THE BOOKSTORE!!!

I was sooooooo angry about it for a day or two and then finally I just let it go. I did however tell all the friends that he and I share about it so that they never "permanently loan" him anything!!

 

[MiniGirl]

I'm with those that feel that you give a gift w/o strings attached. Selling the tv might be tacky or whatever, but it is his to do with as he pleases. You should rest easy knowing that you did a nice thing. In this day and age, that inner peace and self-satisfaction is the only reward a person gets for doing the right thing. Sad, yes, but true.

 

[mousey]

Reminds me of the time we had a party at our house and a friend who I don't see often asked me if I wanted to sell my daughters tricycle. I told her no, but you can use it for as long as you like (my daughter had a bigger bike). I just wanted to keep it for when we had parties or for neighbor kids or friends to ride. Never returned it and found out she sold it at her garage sale!!!

 

[Fintastic]

I think it's tacky, but once you give something to somebody, it's theirs to do wtih as they please.

 

[MushyMushy]

I agree, completely tacky. I understand logically that it's theirs to do with as they please, blah blah blah, but it's so disingenuous to accept a gift or kindness of something you supposedly "need" or "want" only to turn around and make money off of it shortly after. Ick.

Something similar happened to us years ago. My FIL gave us a mini van when my DD was born. It was about 5 years old and needed something done to the transmission, but otherwise good shape. We fixed it up for ourselves, but then we were ready to buy another car and the van had some minor issues. One of my biological siblings was in bad shape... she had a young child and one on the way and was driving this really unreliable old pickup truck. I was worried about her and the kids, as was her husband. So in the spirit of pay it forward, we gave them the van so she'd have something more reliable and safe to drive with the kids -- the husband was a mechanic and could fix the small problems easily. We mentioned, hey, this is for her and the kids but if you ever decide to get rid of it, how about do what we did and pay it forward to someone who needs it.

Not a month later, the husband had it fixed up and used it as a down payment for a newer truck for himself, leaving her to still drive that cruddy pickup.

I don't know. It just leaves you feeling burned on helping someone like that. WE could have used it for a down payment ourselves! We were pretty poor ourselves, only making a little more than $20K a year, but we wanted to help someone out who was in need. It didn't stop us from helping people out, but we leaned more towards giving to organizations rather than any individuals.

 

[Mom of three]

Just an update....I had a friend email the listing and it IS him selling it.

Originally Posted by lovepurple
I guess I don't quite get what the problem is. Are you any worse off than you would be if he had kept the tv? Once you give something away, it isn't yours anymore to say what should be done with it. If it is something that matters that much to you, then don't give it away.

The problem, is that I gave this to him (not as a gift mind you) not asking anything in return. I felt as though there was someone out there (a four year old girl in this case) who would appreciate it and get good use out of it.

I fully agree that I gave it away so it should be none of my concern what happens to it. Im sure this has happened a dozen times to me already, I just havent found out about it.

Its just the mere principal that you try to do something nice for someone and it doesnt end up being like that.

Maybe he has good reason for doing it, maybe he did really need the money. Whatever. Just don't expect me to offer him anything again for free.

Its similar to offering the homeless money. You don't know for sure where the money is going, but you hope they do the right thing. At least YOU feel better knowing you tried.

Thanks again for everyones input.

 

[famofsix]

I would make him an offer via craigslist with my info but I'm a little passive aggressive

 

[WDSearcher]

Just an update....I had a friend email the listing and it IS him selling it.

The problem, is that I gave this to him (not as a gift mind you) not asking anything in return. I felt as though there was someone out there (a four year old girl in this case) who would appreciate it and get good use out of it.

I fully agree that I gave it away so it should be none of my concern what happens to it. Im sure this has happened a dozen times to me already, I just havent found out about it.

Its just the mere principal that you try to do something nice for someone and it doesnt end up being like that.

Maybe he has good reason for doing it, maybe he did really need the money. Whatever. Just don't expect me to offer him anything again for free.

Its similar to offering the homeless money. You don't know for sure where the money is going, but you hope they do the right thing. At least YOU feel better knowing you tried.

Thanks again for everyones input.

It seems unfair, somehow, to be upset that he sold something that you gave away, but when it comes to the "why" it was sold, your response is "Maybe he has good reason for doing it, maybe he did really need the money. Whatever." So no matter WHAT the reason was -- however logical or reasonable it may be -- you are now feeling like the injured party. You will NEVER offer him anything again because ... why? The fact that he sold it doesn't take anything away from your generosity in giving it. You say you gave it to him, "not asking anything in return." You may not have asked anything in return, but it seems as though there is a desire for some sort of something other than just his initial thank you.

 

[TennisGirl80]

If it were me - I'd buy it and tell him to send it to my cubicle!!! but thats just me.....

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I was coming to post my story, but I guess this thread has been turned around.

 

[Judy Judy Judy]

I was coming to post my story, but I guess this thread has been turned around.

Pooh don't you dare post your story and break this up...hehe

 

[Arielx2]

Anyone else getting a good laugh from this?

 

[Breezie]

Good luck with that.

Man this thread just got 100x better.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Pooh don't you dare post your story and break this up...hehe

I know, I definitely don't want to interrupt anything. Carry on.

 

[Judy Judy Judy]

Anyone else getting a good laugh from this?

Gosh I just hate the thought that this thread might get closed...I hope not...it beats the heck out of cleaning house...can someone post a picture of said tv...hehe that would be even better.

 

[Arielx2]

Gosh I just hate the thought that this thread might get closed...I hope not...it beats the heck out of cleaning house...can someone post of picture of said tv...hehe that would be even better.

We have one. I could take a pic and post it.

 

[KristiKelly]

 

[plummer925]

You know what - I feel so bad for the woman who came here who posted the tv - I don't blame her at ALL for being angry. You folks should be ASHAMED of yourselfs (those who contacted her!). You are taking a one-sided story - that now appears to be WRONG and contacted someone about it!? I'm sorry, but that's not fair, and you are ALL showing your lack of maturity.

I don't blame her a BIT for coming here and defending herself! This would tick me off too!

GROW UP PEOPLE!

 

[Kathi OD]

It's the principle! Plus, I can sue for much more than the TV because she caused other damages upon me.

You would first have to prove there were damages. Not likely going to happen. Asking for opinions on a internet message board about an incident in your life is not slanderous.

Therefore, I can sue for any amount that I choose!

You could try, but you'd look rather foolish.