Gave something to someone for free, now they are selling it?

[Northstar]

I wouldn't care what they did with it after I gave it, in the situation as you've described it. You got an unused item out of your house without the trouble of selling it. You created goodwill with your co-worker.

Maybe the gift didn't go over as well as they'd expected. Maybe the little girl got another TV from someone else. Maybe they are really strapped for cash now and are selling off a lot of their Christmas presents.

But I must admit I'd be a little wary in future if this person seemed to be hinting around that they'd appreciate any unused items I was thinking of getting rid of. No reason to let them think you are a free source of stuff they can sell.

 

[krise]

I'd be miffed. But I'd let it go. And I wouldn't give him anything else!

i AGREE. You gave it away. it's his to do what ever he wants withit. Crappy thing he did I agree, but maybe he really needed the money. SOmething else happened, who knows. I also would say something to him about it too. Just to let him know your upset and know it's him.

 

[Mom of three]

But it's not a 'regift', in the typical conception of the term. That would mean she wrapped up something that was given to her as a present (but that she did not need or want for some reason) and passed it on to another person as a present.

Instead, the OP - validly, IMO - thought she was doing something nice for a coworker. She is understandably surprised that only a few short months later he is attempting to PROFIT from that act.

Wow! Thank you everyone for your responses.

kaytie-you pretty much hit the nail on the head in the sense that I, myself did not consider it a "gift", but rather I saw someone who was trying to find a relatively inexpensive TV to buy for his young daughter for Christmas and I felt like paying it forward.

Let me first say that I agree with the majority of the posters in the fact that I gave it to him and I should let it go.

I dont even think I would be upset if he too, just gave it away.

However, Im irritated that he is trying to make a profit off of it, ESPECIALLY so soon after giving it to him and especially since this was for his daughter. Is he going to buy her a new TV? Why would he give it to her as a Christmas gift and then take it away?

I had some sleep on it. I think im just going to keep to myself, not mention it and then hoard all my stuff instead of giving it away next time, to avoid this problem again in the future.

 

[glitterkittyy]

A gift is a gift. Once you give it away, it's his to do with as he wishes. I wouldn't say a word to him. If it bothers you, just don't give him anything else in the future.

ETA: I gotta laugh that I posted nearly exactly what you said you were gonna do. lol

 

[ChillyWilleys]

I had a situation that I totally relate and am still upset. DH has a cousin whos a young single mom. Got an apartment with her baby had had no furniture. We had just bought DD a new set so we offered her to use DD's old changing table dresser combo 2 years old and $600 mind you. FF a few months and her father calls and asks how much we bought it for, sweet trusting DH tells him then tells me about the call. They want to sell it I tell him! If she doesn't want it I want it back Its perfectly fine I'll save it for my next kid! So he calls him back a few days later and says if cousin doesn't want the dresser we would like it back. He tells him ok its now in his basement but just so we know it got some minor damage in the moves but was no big deal. Now FF about a month. Cousin comes over and asks me if I was told about the dresser. I reiterate that I heard it had some minor damage and that was fine. Oh no, It was really bad, so bad we knew you wouldn't want it so we just got rid of it. I don't know for sure it was sold but..HELLO I'm pretty sure it was sold! This was 2 years ago now I'm still livid. I don't give anything besides outright gifts anymore meaning b-day an xmass and make sure it is something directly for the baby that wouldn't be sold (I think).

 

[nana2tots]

I would be Peeved, she should have at least ask if you wanted it back, before selling it. Yikes !!!

 

[ndelaware]

I would try to buy it and see if the co-worker had enough guts to accept the money.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Ooh, I like that, ndelaware! Devious, but in an innocent-seeming way!

But, as we know, the OP has chosen to let it go, and to not offer any items to that coworker again. Ultimately the mature route, but I like ndelaware's idea, too

 

[ols386]

It was a nice thing you did, but I'd let it go at this point in time. It's not worth worrying yourself about it.

 

[scrapquitler]

Here is my opinion (and it probably won't be popular, but so it goes).

You gave the tv to this guy. Now it is HIS. He can do what he wants with it.
Including selling it.

When you GIVE something to someone, it is no longer yours and you are not entitled to decided what he does with it in the future. When someone is given a gift, they are not required to keep it for a certain amount of time, return it to the giver if they no longer want it, nor are they required to give it away for free at a later date.

And it might not be his tv listed on Craigs List anyway.

 

[d1gitman]

..Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the friend put additional work into it. Even if not, the friend DID pay for the van. Yes, it was extremely generous of the quoted poster's mom to drop her price so drastically based on the buyer's financial situation

No additional work has been put into the van. this is a friend that i have known for 20 yrs, we get together a lot and our children play together. Also, his wife shares a lot of 'dirt' with us about her hubby and his shopping addiction.

regarding his selling of the van, it's more of a principle thing (or lack there of). the reason this friend of mine is in financial straights is that he can't stop spending. he refi'd 3x, ultimately doubling his mortgage due to CC debt. now that he can't get credit, ANY cash he gets his hands on he spends. his latest scam is going into foreclosure status on his mortgage in order to be eligible for getting his mortgage rewritten, he feels the lenders owe him a new deal. he has been putting his mortgage money aside and decided he wants to use that for a new car. i sat with him and his wife in Nov, 07 with him crying like a baby because his finances were such a mess and he felt like he was a failure. i sat with him and his wife, pouring through their finances to put it down on paper so he could actually see what was going on. it was tough, because there were many first time revelations to his wife about finances.

anyway, it is his van, he paid in full for it and is free to do as he wishes. i just find it unethical that he expected my mom to drop her drawers on her selling price due to his circumstances and then had no conscience about turning a profit on it.

we don't lose any sleep over it as it is not worth it but i find it interesting that often times those who cry wolf are the first ones to stab you in the back as well.

 

[d1gitman]

...And it might not be his tv listed on Craigs List anyway.

which is the real reason not to get bothered by this tv for sale.

 

[rie'smom]

I can understand your frustration. Once you gave it to them though, they could do whatever they want with it. IMO, they should have offered to you if they didn't want it but not everyone does the right thing.

 

[Micca]

It is a little disheartening, but try to let it go. You did a very nice thing by giving away the tv and you should feel good about that. I understand your disappointment, but your involvement in the deal has ended with you being the good person.

 

[TheZue]

Yes it's his to do with as he pleases, but I would never ever help him out again in that manner. If somebody asks for something then sells it, that's lame and rude. I see selling Christmas presents differently because it's often really hard to buy for people and everyone gets and gives stinkers (my family insists on buying us full screen dvds), if people need to get the things I bought them out of their house by all means get a few dollars for it if you can! But to ask for something with a sob story that wouldn't normally have been given only to sell it is low.

On a related note a friend of ours gave us his old computer monitor a few years ago and I'm ready to clear out the space where it is to give us another sitting area. But I'm going to check with him before I donate to make sure he doesn't have a use for it. Getting rid of it without checking just seems rude to me. And this is a friend that we are always giving stuff back and forth that we don't need anymore. We've got his monitor and he's got two of our tvs

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Havent read all the replies......

Do I think its rude? Yes
Do I think there is anything you can do or should say about it? No

You gave it to them....what they choose to do with it is up to them

 

[lovepurple]

I had some sleep on it. I think im just going to keep to myself, not mention it and then hoard all my stuff instead of giving it away next time, to avoid this problem again in the future.

I guess I don't quite get what the problem is. Are you any worse off than you would be if he had kept the tv? Once you give something away, it isn't yours anymore to say what should be done with it. If it is something that matters that much to you, then don't give it away.

 

[mefordis]

Maybe they need the $$.

Im a little ill feeling right now. Before Christmas, I saw a co-worker looking at ads on Craigslist. He said he was looking for a TV for his 4 year old daughter for a Christmas present.

We had just replaced our dd TV and had a really cute Disney Princess TV as a spare, hanging out in the closet. Remote was lost but it was in perfect condition.

I figured PERFECT! I offered it to him for free, thinking at least another little girl would put it to use.

Fast forward to 20 minutes ago, when I was perusing Craigslist, and did a search for "Disney". Guess what came up?

The TV. They were asking $60 for it.

Im 99% sure its the same TV for several reasons. One being the missing remote. It was advertised as "lost". Reason #2 is the location, reason #3 is the verbage that was used in the listing and finally...he and I had just discussed a situation where I had given my sister some baby items and she sold them on Ebay. I told him how upset I was about it and he claimed it was "funny" and actually laughed.

Im pretty disheartened by this. What would you do?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I guess I don't quite get what the problem is. Are you any worse off than you would be if he had kept the tv? Once you give something away, it isn't yours anymore to say what should be done with it. If it is something that matters that much to you, then don't give it away.

The more.. the more.. oh, gee, what's the word? Not theoretical, not emotional... okay, the less black-and-white aspect of it. Her feelings. She did something nice for someone and is surprised to see that person turn around and attempt to profit financially from her generosity. It wasn't a gift in the standard sense of the word; granted, the coworker has no obligation to the OP... it's just, I don't know - tactless.

I like TheZue's practice "Would you like it back?" for whatever reason, but I realize that's a practice between her family and a friend.

 

[plummer925]

I think my biggest problem with all of this is: You do not know for sure if this is the tv you gave to your coworker. At this point, you are assuming. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but now you have put forth the information (thankfully without names!!) and everyone thinks your coworker is terrible (okay, not everyone, but a lot of people).

A gift is a gift. If you did not specify - at the time of giving it - that it was to not be sold, then they have EVERY right to sell it.

Further, without SOLID proof that this is the tv you GAVE AWAY, you really have no right to get upset. Even with proof, you really shouldn't get upset - maybe say soemthing to the co-worker (like 'wow - i wish I'd known you was going to get rid of that - I had other people who could have used it'), but not be stressed about it.

Have you even ASKED the coworker if it's him?!