Gave something to someone for free, now they are selling it?

[janni518]

Im a little ill feeling right now. Before Christmas, I saw a co-worker looking at ads on Craigslist. He said he was looking for a TV for his 4 year old daughter for a Christmas present.

We had just replaced our dd TV and had a really cute Disney Princess TV as a spare, hanging out in the closet. Remote was lost but it was in perfect condition.

I figured PERFECT! I offered it to him for free, thinking at least another little girl would put it to use.

Fast forward to 20 minutes ago, when I was perusing Craigslist, and did a search for "Disney". Guess what came up?

The TV. They were asking $60 for it.

Im 99% sure its the same TV for several reasons. One being the missing remote. It was advertised as "lost". Reason #2 is the location, reason #3 is the verbage that was used in the listing and finally...he and I had just discussed a situation where I had given my sister some baby items and she sold them on Ebay. I told him how upset I was about it and he claimed it was "funny" and actually laughed.

Im pretty disheartened by this. What would you do?

Um, nothing.

You weren't using it, you gave it away. Did you give it away with conditions or did you just give it away?

I don't get it.

 

[2mickeys1minnie]

I'm sorry but I just don't get it You GAVE it to him, correct? I give away alot of things...once I give it away I don't think about it. I don't give w/ conditions...Once you gave it to him it was his to do with what he pleased. It's not something I would do but I wouldn't get myself upset about it. Just let it go......if you feel uncomfortable with what he did cross him off your list of people to give away things Seriously...there are so many more things to be worried about.

 

[Kit'smommy]

You gave it away. It is no longer yours. Let it go...

 

[Kathi OD]

Put me in the category of just not getting all this outrage either. You gave it to him as a GIFT. Once you give a gift, it is the receiver's to do with as they please. Your coworker evidently no longer has a need for it. Maybe they bought something a little better with their tax refund, or maybe a family member bought their DD one. Why let something sit in a closet gathering dust when you have no need for it?

How would you have felt if they had given it away to a third party? If you wouldn't have felt bad about that scenario, then don't feel bad about them trying to sell it on Craigslist. Evidently they either need the money more than you do, or are more budget conscience.

Do nothing and let it go. If it really bothers you, then stop giving thing away that you could sell yourself.

 

[flagdaytwins]

I'd feel the same way you do OP. Tacky.

I'd annoy the person on Craigslist -- ask a ton of questions to eat up his/her time!

 

[kaytieeldr]

I disagree. First, I don't agree it was a gift; I consider more a kindness - but someone above used the term 'pay it forward', and that seems even more appropriate.

Therefore, if the coworker had given it to someone, he, too, would have been 'paying it forward' ('it' in this case being a Disney Princess TV ). Or, if his family did not need it after all, return it to the OP ("thank you, we appreciate it, but ___").

I think it's more that she's surprised anyone would attempt to profit from the situation than anything else. Obviously, she's not a cynical or mistrustful as some of the rest of us

 

[dismom24]

I have to agree with those who say that once you have given an item away, it is theirs to do with as they please. If I know someone needs something that has a high reslae value, I have been known to say "Whan you are done with it, I would like it back so we can resell it" - more like letting someone borrow it. If I do not specify I would like it back, then I usually assume at some point it will be resold by them - nobody keeps anything forever and there are a ton of consignments in this area. We also have the Princess TV and have lost the remote, so there is a chance that it happens quite often and this may be the case. It also could be that the child never uses the TV. Honestly, my DD's is a decoration - she never uses it.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I understand your being upset, but there really isn't anything to do about it.

I remember once when my boys were preschool age someone had asked me if we had any baby or toddler toys that we weren't using. There was a woman with a little boy around 1 year who didn't have ANY toys to play with. It was a big sob story. I felt really bad, and sorted through my kids old toys, which I was still using as I AM a daycare provider. I gave this poor little boy a huge box of good quality toys. A month later the mother was selling all the toys in her garage sale. I felt like walking up with a box, and taking all my toys back. The kids in my daycare would use those things!

I didn't let it stop me from doing it again. My cousin lost his job last summer, and had a little boy who needed clothes. I sent several boxes of clothes, and they were truly appreciative. I was really glad I sent the clothes to them.

 

[AlexTina]

I would just mention in passing that if they ever decide they no longer want the television that you would really like to have it back. Leave it at that.

Tina

 

[kelleigh1]

I can see both sides and I'm sure someone is going to call me a hypocrate.

But anyway...

My in-laws are always giving us stuff. My FIL especially likes to give my husband clothes and shoes that he's not going to wear. Now they have told us that if he can't wear it, we should just get rid of it. We had several pairs of shoes from FIL that we just a little too small for hubby. I listed them on ebay and sold them. I didn't make tons of money and the guy who bought both pairs was thrilled to get some decent work shoes for a bargain. IL's know we sold them and I don't think they are upset. MIL said she's glad we were able to make some money off them since she knows we could use it. (Thankfully I didn't sell the dress shirts they gave since hubby is now wearing them for his new temp job.)

On the flip side of that though, if a coworker or another friend gave me something like this situation and I knew within a short time that I wouldn't be using it, I would offer it back before selling it. But honestly if a year or more has gone by since they gave it to us, I wouldn't even think twice about selling.

And while I might be a little upset if someone sold something I gave them, I wouldn't stew over it, figuring that oh well, I gave it to them so now it's theirs to do what they want with it. And you just never know, maybe they really need the money more than they need the TV.

 

[SydneyBristow]

I wouldn't say a thing, I'd just think he really needed the money.

 

[tinkntraining]

I would be a little miffed too, but just remember that it was a kind gesture on your part and forget that it wasn't appreciated.

Sounds like great advice to me!

 

[Jeafl]

I feel your pain. We once gave a 4 yr. old Honda Civic to my aunt and uncle because they were having financial problems and needed a car. We could have sold it, but we just gave it to them. The next time we saw them the car wasn't there. I asked if they were having mechanical trouble with it, and my aunt said "No, we gave it to Susie" (Susie is my good-for-nothing cousin who sponges off of everyone and is totally irresponsible). They said Susie liked it better than her own car, so they gave it to her and they took her piece of crap car.

If I would have known that would happen, I NEVER would have given them the car.

 

[Hoodie]

OK - this is going to be wildly unpopular, but I say cut the strings.

By that I mean the strings to the "gift" you gave. You gave it to them, what they do with it is their business, not yours. OP mentioned that the TV was a gift itself from the grandparents. She had no problem regifting it to a coworker, but then has a problem when the co-worker gets rid of it? Is it the money aspect?

When you give a gift for any reason, it's theirs not yours. Yes, sometimes it hurts when you see your gift given away or sold, but there's no justification to get mad at giftee for it.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But it's not a 'regift', in the typical conception of the term. That would mean she wrapped up something that was given to her as a present (but that she did not need or want for some reason) and passed it on to another person as a present.

Instead, the OP - validly, IMO - thought she was doing something nice for a coworker. She is understandably surprised that only a few short months later he is attempting to PROFIT from that act.

 

[Deb in IA]

Once you give something to someone it becomes theirs to do what they wish with it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

You gave it away. It is no longer yours. Let it go...

I'd be miffed. But I'd let it go. And I wouldn't give him anything else!

 

[Iluvthemouse]

No advice here. It does suck though.


I had a coworker that had moved here. She had nothing. At the same time my inlaws had bought a brand new couch and they "really didnt like it". It was only a few months old. My DH carted the couch to her family that my inlaws gave her. Just gave her.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later she lets it slip to a coworker she had a yard sale and she sold the couch for $50. OMG I was livid. When I confronted her she said she didnt like it in her house.

 

[OctMtnWoods]

I garage sale unwanted bad gifts all the time but its not like I asked for the gift just months before. I just want them out of my house.

Be happy its being used by someone. Would you rather it still be sitting in your closet? That makes no sense to me.

 

[KristiKelly]

I thinks it kinda crappy as well.

I know someone that has birthday parties, invites a ton of kids, then she takes most of the gifts and puts them in the top of a closet with the name of who gave them - then she regifts for b'day parties throughout the year.