Okay, I'm changing my "vote" from earlier--you ARE whack-a-doodle! As the expression goes, "Get off the cross, Martha, we need the wood!"
You need to stop being such a doormat. I still think that therapy could help you with this. You aren't doing your husband any favors by catering to him every single night, and you certainly aren't helping yourself, unless your goal is to win the "Martyr of the Year" Award. He needs to pitch in, he needs to learn to cook some basics, and you need to learn to step back and let him try. And fail. And learn. And succeed.
I'm a SAHM, and do 90%+ of the cooking, because I'm here. But, I don't cater to the various "food needs" (there are 5 of us--one doesn't like tomatoes, except in sauce. One hates all gravies and sauces, except pasta sauce. One won't eat beef or pork, one won't eat cheese, one hates any type of casserole. You get the picture).
If I got hit by a bus, my DH could manage to keep the kids fed. Maybe nothing fancy, probably a lot of pasta and pancakes, but they wouldn't starve.
Your husband needs to learn to fend for himself in the kitchen--if only to make a sandwich and open a can of soup. He also needs to pitch in around the house. Dishes, vacuuming, whatever works best for him, but if he's not working, he needs to contribute to the household work.
You also need to dial back the childcare. The expense of three children is not on you--it's on their parents. If you enjoy watching the kids, you can set specific parameters--you'll do 2 days a week or Friday nights or something like that.
You're miserable because everyone is taking advantage of you. Time to pick yourself up and start advocating for YOU.