Bridal shower - gift opening

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

A new thing people are starting to do around here and in my circle are buying off the registry online and having it shipped directly to the persons home. I’ve done that the last few showers. Sometimes it even arrives before the shower. This way I’m not scrambling to get a gift bag, drag it to the party, one less gift to have to watch being opened and one less gift the family has to drag back to their home.

We've been doing that for ages for the wedding gift but for the shower that seems newer..not a bad idea really

 

[PollyannaMom]

I was at one once where we sat in a circle and each guest opened someone else's present and read the card out loud to the bride. It went a lot quicker than passing them all to the bride, then passing them all back off to the side, because the next person could start as soon as the previous person finished, and the mess could be cleaned up all at once. Everyone could see each gift, and the bride didn't feel like people were staring at her for ages. I'm sure it wouldn't work for everyone, but for this this group it was a hit.

 

[ronandannette]

Even at a restaurant?

Never been to a bridal shower at a restaurant. A stag-ette, yes, but a shower, no.

What kind of showers are you used to? Seems like maybe just cake and coffee etc? For us in NJ showers can be insane and I have been to a few bridal showers in the last 3 years with a DJ, photographer and open bar plus a full buffet brunch then a dessert table but even if it's a very small shower it is still the norm here to at the very least have a meal and then dessert of some sort and coffee. So "multi course" can be as simple as a sandwich and cake and coffee after.

Always in the evening, either at somebody's home or a church hall. The spread can be quite elaborate; sometimes themed, but it's more like what you'd find at a stand-up cocktail reception than a full meal. And I guess I wouldn't think of a sandwich and cake as a meal, although I suppose it is.

 

[MrsPete]

Every shower I've been to -- baby or wedding -- has followed this pattern:
- People arrive and food is already out
- Games
- Gifts are opened

 

[Moliphino]

Always in the evening, either at somebody's home or a church hall. The spread can be quite elaborate; sometimes themed, but it's more like what you'd find at a stand-up cocktail reception than a full meal. And I guess I wouldn't think of a sandwich and cake as a meal, although I suppose it is.

All of the ones I've been to have been in the morning or early afternoon. I'm not a morning person, so I'd prefer evening events. Some have had full breakfast buffets, others lunch buffets, and later desserts. I get annoyed when there aren't mimosas.

 

[ronandannette]

All of the ones I've been to have been in the morning or early afternoon. I'm not a morning person, so I'd prefer evening events. Some have had full breakfast buffets, others lunch buffets, and later desserts. I get annoyed when there aren't mimosas.

I'm not above drinking a mimosa after-hours but apparently that's gauche...

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I'm not above drinking a mimosa after-hours but apparently that's gauche...

Honestly, showers in your area sound more fun than here which are usually 3 hour sit down affairs with 3-4 courses held at restaurants. Thankfully wine is usually included. I'm pretty certain every shower I've been to is a brunch or lunch.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I’ve never been to an evening shower. Usually they are on a Sunday afternoon.
Almost always in a church hall or a house.

Food are fancy sandwiches, dainties, fruit and veggies.

 

[AnnaS]

I’ve never been to a shower that included a multi-course meal.

Yes, I would say 50/50 here - buffet (most of these are brunch & sit down (3-4 course) meal.

 

[CdnCarrie]

So who pays for these big meals? Do the guests pay for their meal?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I wanted simple home bridal and baby showers, not at a restaurant. Sandwich trays (I requested jersey sloppy joes), salads, drinks, dessert. I wish I didn’t have to open gifts, my shower was a surprise and my bachelorette party was the night before, I was SO hungover and sick.

Mine was the same way. I had a home shower, home made food etc. I loved it. Our weddings here in NJ are so insane that I just wanted simple and personal for my shower.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

So who pays for these big meals? Do the guests pay for their meal?

No the hosts pay for everything.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I’ve never been to a shower, bridal or baby, where gifts were not opened by the guest of honor. As someone said upthread, that is the point of a shower. Guests generally watch and chat amongst themselves during this time. Most here take place in the afternoon on a weekend. In my generation, they were mostly held in someone’s home, but now more often in restaurants, with a buffet or plated meal.

 

[NotUrsula]

I don’t understand this clear paper/display table thing. Do people really care to see what other people brought? Why? Just look at the registry if you’re that curious.

Oh, yes; which is why I *never* attend showers. Traditionally, where I'm from, they are held in a home or a small rented hall, and all the guests sit in a circle while every gift is passed hand to hand for admiration after opening. It's interminable! Then, having endured the circle ritual for a couple of hours, you're expected to cheerfully play risqué versions of kindergarten games while nibbling canapés and trying to balance a coffee cup on your knee without making a mess. To top it all off, catty remarks about gifts tend to abound once certain people get a bit of a buzz on.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Oh, yes; which is why I *never* attend showers. Traditionally, where I'm from, they are held in a home or a small rented hall, and all the guests sit in a circle while every gift is passed hand to hand for admiration after opening. It's interminable! Then, having endured the circle ritual for a couple of hours, you're expected to cheerfully play risqué versions of kindergarten games while nibbling canapés and trying to balance a coffee cup on your knee without making a mess. To top it all off, catty remarks about gifts tend to abound once certain people get a bit of a buzz on.

But that’s the only way I can survive the agony of having to sit through a shower. Got to entertain myself somehow!

 

[Boopuff]

I'm from a small family. My shower(s) were very small around 10-12 guests. So I opened everything. But as time has marched on showers (bridal) are almost mini-weddings! 50 or so guests at a hall... crazy. Both of my daughters had small intimate showers and opened their gifts. We had a luncheon, with only one game and gifts/desert. easy. The bigger the shower the more expensive and convoluted it becomes.

 

[AnnaS]

So who pays for these big meals? Do the guests pay for their meal?

Host - which is usually the mom of the bride here. Sometimes the mother of the groom will contribute something like decorations, etc./the maid of honor might contribute some other things/be in charge of games. But for the most part, the mother of the bride.

I wanted to add - years ago showers laster 5 hours. We would arrive at noon and the bride - when it used to be a surprise - would arrive before 1pm. An hour or more was needed for opening gifts - which was always after the meal. They used to drag. The sitting and the opening of gifts.

Today, no surprise. Bride is already there and showers are more like 3 - 4 hours. Which also means less time for opening gifts if you have a lot of people.

They vary with each family, ones means, size of family, traditions/customs, etc. etc. We go with the flow. Don't expect the same with all the events we go to. I like when I go to an event that is outside of "our norm".

 

[CdnCarrie]

Host - which is usually the mom of the bride here. Sometimes the mother of the groom will contribute something like decorations, etc./the maid of honor might contribute some other things/be in charge of games. But for the most part, the mother of the bride.

Back in the day according to Dear Abby types it was considered very bad etiquette for MOBs to host showers - it was looked on as a gift grab for your own child. That's what I was taught.

 

[AnnaS]

Back in the day according to Dear Abby types it was considered very bad etiquette for MOBs to host showers - it was looked on as a gift grab for your own child. That's what I was taught.

I get it and have heard that. I would never expect a maid of honor who could be a friend of the bride/my daughter to shell out thousands of dollars for a shower, on top of dress, hair, make up, bachelorette party, etc.

There is no more right or wrong. Everyone has different ways of doing things in their families/traditions, etc. We - in our families all do the same so it's not frowned upon. I don't frown upon or complain about others' traditions/way of doing things. I go, observe, admire and enjoy.

What is right for me, might be wrong for you and vice versa.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Back in the day according to Dear Abby types it was considered very bad etiquette for MOBs to host showers - it was looked on as a gift grab for your own child. That's what I was taught.

That must be another one of those "regional" situations. Unfortunately, I can relate all too well to the "back in the day" reference. The bride's family have hosted every bridal shower I've attended.