Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[LuLuO]

On the Moms panel a mom asked this question of the panel...

"Attending a character dinner with our 3 yo son who sometimes likes to be the prince & sometimes the princess- how will staff react to a boy dressed in the more girlie costumes? Will staff help us find a new seat if other guests make rude comments?"

Would you allow your son to dress up as a princess at Disney? Especially KNOWING ppl are probably going to stare or make comments? Or would you go with the flow and let the little guy be a princess and not care what other ppl say and do?

Yes. If DS wants to wear a princess dress to Disney or for Halloween, or to the grocery store, I have no problem with it.

My son is 2.5. When DD and I paint our nails, he wants his nails painted. Sometimes he wears DD's skirts or girly costumes. The other day he came out of his room wearing one of DD's skirts, a pirate hat, and carrying his monster truck. Who cares?

Kids were jerks to me growing up because I had a denim jacket from Target instead of a Guess denim jacket. People (adults and kids) stared at me and made comments because I had bad acne. For the most part, I learned not to live my life based on what other people think or say because there are jerks everywhere.

 

[PeterPan09]

My 13yo has a similar classmate. She still plays with Polly Pockets. She writes "I love my mommy" on her facebook page. She is ridiculed for both, but she is one of the most well-adjusted, kind, motivated kids I know. She has an excellent relationship with her family and truly does not care if her peers think she's "weird". In fact, she thinks they're all weird because they're interested in horror movies and boys, rather than Disney movies and Polly Pockets.

Good for her! And good for her parents who obviously gave her a strong sense of self esteem and unconditional love.

Where would we be in this world without the "weird" people? "Weird" people are the ones who give us art, music, cartoons, innovations and literature because they dare to think differently and act differently.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Protecting them from the ignorance of others isn't teaching them how to deal with that ignorance when it comes upon them. What happens when you're not around to pad every sharp corner?

But see THAT IS THE POINT you are SUPPOSE to pad every corner for a 3 yr old. It is YOUR JOB as a parent to protect them until they are old enough to handle themselves in the world. Whether that be 12 or that be 18. It is a parent's JOB. What can you teach a 3 yr old about OTHER PPL being @$$h0les by allowing them to be ridiculed at such a young age? You think that's more healthy than simply telling the kid NO you can't wear a princess dress to lunch. Period. Do you have to reason with a 3 yr old and explain to them how society is and what ppl may say or do if they wear a dress? No. They are 3. They may want skittles for breakfast, and they may very well THROW A FIT when you say no. But that doesn't keep you from saying no to that.

If you want to let your sons wear a dress, go for it. Mine won't be. Not until they are old enough to make an informed decision about it logically.

 

[ICF]

Ask yourself why you wouldn't allow your son to wear a princess costume.

because boy's generally speaking don't wear dresses? Is it really that hard??

This isn't about a girl wanting to be a fireman, policeman, doctor, etc....they can be grow up to be all those things. Last I checked, a boy can't grow up to be a princess....

I have no issues with a boy that wants a doll...maybe they see their sisters having them, or just like babies...maybe they want a Ken / Barbie if they saw them in TS3 and wanted them to play with. I dont think that toys have to be genders specific to either sex.

Some of you are trying so hard to be the open-minded parents that will allow their kids to do anything, when in reality those kids in a few years are going to look at you and say..."Why in the $)_$* did you let me go to disney dressed as a princess??" Even if your kid asks you to to do it, you can still tell them no.

This has nothing to do with a kid growing up to be gay or straight if they were a dress out in public, it's just about common sense....

 

[luvsJack]

Protecting them from the ignorance of others isn't teaching them how to deal with that ignorance when it comes upon them. What happens when you're not around to pad every sharp corner?

They can learn to deal with it without blindly walking into it. You can teach a child about the ignorance of others and how to deal with it; without putting them directly in the path of it.

Again, when my son (imaginative son) can make the choice while KNOWING what could happen, then I don't have an issue with his choice.

You TEACH your child how to navigate BEFORE you unpad the corners.

 

[Uncle Remus]

because boy's generally speaking don't wear dresses? Is it really that hard??

This isn't about a girl wanting to be a fireman, policeman, doctor, etc....they can be grow up to be all those things. Last I checked, a boy can't grow up to be a princess....

I have no issues with a boy that wants a doll...maybe they see their sisters having them, or just like babies...maybe they want a Ken / Barbie if they saw them in TS3 and wanted them to play with. I dont think that toys have to be genders specific to either sex.

Some of you are trying so hard to be the open-minded parents that will allow their kids to do anything, when in reality those kids in a few years are going to look at you and say..."Why in the $)_$* did you let me go to disney dressed as a princess??" Even if your kid asks you to to do it, you can still tell them no.

This has nothing to do with a kid growing up to be gay or straight if they were a dress out in public, it's just about common sense....

It isn't really about bein' openminded either, it's about a kid havin' fun at DisneyWorld.

 

[Goofyluver]

I make several parenting choices based on what society in general would think of me and my child. As a PP stated something about not showing your PRIVATE parts in public because society thinks it is wrong, so of course we all don't go letting our kids walk around with their privates hanging out just so they can express themselves do we?

Cussing is considered profanity and rude and not socially acceptable. Adults do it, but am I going to let me kid do it just so he can express himself? I don't think so.

And just because a parent makes a choice for a child that others may think is wrong doesn't mean you love your child any more than I love mine. And just because you are out to prove to the world how open minded you are doesn't mean you love your kid any more than mine either.

Showing your private parts in public isn't frowned upon simply because of societal norms, it's illegal, for very specific reasons. FTR, various communities also have laws against cussing in public.

You don't think wearin' a princess dress is going to lead to a foul-mouthed kid who flashes his private parts to others, do ya'?

And who said anything about how much you love your kid?

I'm also tired of folks sayin' allowing a child to choose to wear a costume is about open-mindedness. It's really not. It's about whether or not a parent has the ability to step back from societal norms and their own individual prejudices or pre-conceived notions in their parenting. Clearly, many folks don't have that ability. And that's cool if that's the lesson you want to teach your child.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

No, not validating. Its being realistic. Right or wrong there are people out there that will ridicule this child. Why put them through that pain? So that you can prove you are open minded? Sorry, my child means more to me than that.

When the child is old enough to make an informed decision, allow them to make it. Until then its up to the parent.

My dd was born blind in one eye and with strabismus, or crossed eyes. She did not have surgery to straighten her eyes until she was 4. She was ridiculed for her eyes, by ADULTS. Never by a child. Should I have kept her home, too? Told her, sorry, you can't go to CRT, stupid people might make fun of your eyes?

There are ignorant and mean people in the world, that's for sure. We can't keep them away from our kids. If someone is low enough to ridicule a child in a princess dress, he's probably low enough to ridicule him for spilling his milk or laughing too loudly at the table. I for one, do what I think is best for my child, regardless of what others think.

I think CRT is the best place in the world for it! I would prepare him that there just might be someone who would say something rude, but that would be about them and not about him. In all honesty, there might be folks that would judge him and his parents about it-but most bullies/judgmental people are cowards and they will only gossip about it to their own friends and families. And that really does speak more to the quality of their own hearts than anything about a little boy who makes an unconventional choice and parents who love him enough to let him.

Well said!

I too, think CRT would be the best place in the world for a boy to wear a princess dress. Some people are very concerned about bullying, but at a Disney character meal, you're in a room full of strangers you'll never see again. He's not wearing the dress to school, where the worst of the bullies will remember and tease him about it for years.

 

[luvsJack]

It's a 3 year old boy who wants to experience the Disney magic.
Ya think I should tell him the Princesses ain't real so he can be in the real world?

My point exactly--a 3 year old isn't old enough to relaize the impact of his decision. That's why parent rule takes over. I wouldn't tell him anything except that he can wear it at home but not at CRT. But I would offer to buy him an Alladin costume to wear instead.

If parent rule is that he doesn't wear a princess dress then he doesn't. If parent rule is that he can--he does. I am not saying that you should tell your child anything. The question was "would YOU" and I wouldn't.

 

[Goofyluver]

because boy's generally speaking don't wear dresses? Is it really that hard??

This isn't about a girl wanting to be a fireman, policeman, doctor, etc....they can be grow up to be all those things. Last I checked, a boy can't grow up to be a princess....

I have no issues with a boy that wants a doll...maybe they see their sisters having them, or just like babies...maybe they want a Ken / Barbie if they saw them in TS3 and wanted them to play with. I dont think that toys have to be genders specific to either sex.

Some of you are trying so hard to be the open-minded parents that will allow their kids to do anything, when in reality those kids in a few years are going to look at you and say..."Why in the $)_$* did you let me go to disney dressed as a princess??" Even if your kid asks you to to do it, you can still tell them no.

This has nothing to do with a kid growing up to be gay or straight if they were a dress out in public, it's just about common sense....

You must have me confused with someone else.

 

[PeterPan09]

They can learn to deal with it without blindly walking into it. You can teach a child about the ignorance of others and how to deal with it; without putting them directly in the path of it.

Again, when my son (imaginative son) can make the choice while KNOWING what could happen, then I don't have an issue with his choice.

You TEACH your child how to navigate BEFORE you unpad the corners.

I don't think anyone advocated letting a child walk blindly into anything. I certainly didn't. Parenting is about preparing your child to live on their own in the real world. No matter how much you protect them as children, someday they are going to be in a direct path of some ignorant fool and they will have to deal with it. If they know from their earliest days that there is nothing wrong with them and the choices they make in life-then they're going to have the armor they need when that ignorant fool comes along.

Bottom line to me is when you "protect" your boy from "girlie" things you're not sending him a message about others-you're sending him a message about HIM. When you let him make his choice AND prepare him for potential ignorance from others-you show him that HE is ok and those ignorant fools are not.

 

[Uncle Remus]

My point exactly--a 3 year old isn't old enough to relaize the impact of his decision. That's why parent rule takes over. I wouldn't tell him anything except that he can wear it at home but not at CRT. But I would offer to buy him an Alladin costume to wear instead.

If parent rule is that he doesn't wear a princess dress then he doesn't. If parent rule is that he can--he does. I am not saying that you should tell your child anything. The question was "would YOU" and I wouldn't.

Yes, I realize you have definite gender roles for your children. I hope they don't disappoint you.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

And just because you are out to prove to the world how open minded you are doesn't mean you love your kid any more than mine either.

Who ever said that? This isn't about "being open-minded", it's about letting your child dress up for a character meal the way he wants to while he's on vacation and supposed to be having fun at WDW!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Bottom line to me is when you "protect" your boy from "girlie" things you're not sending him a message about others-you're sending him a message about HIM. When you let him make his choice AND prepare him for potential ignorance from others-you show him that HE is ok and those ignorant fools are not.

again, very well said.

 

[luvsJack]

My dd was born blind in one eye and with strabismus, or crossed eyes. She did not have surgery to straighten her eyes until she was 4. She was ridiculed for her eyes, by ADULTS. Never by a child. Should I have kept her home, too? Told her, sorry, you can't go to CRT, stupid people might make fun of your eyes?

There are ignorant and mean people in the world, that's for sure. We can't keep them away from our kids. If someone is low enough to ridicule a child in a princess dress, he's probably low enough to ridicule him for spilling his milk or laughing too loudly at the table. I for one, do what I think is best for my child, regardless of what others think.

Well said!

I too, think CRT would be the best place in the world for a boy to wear a princess dress. Some people are very concerned about bullying, but at a Disney character meal, you're in a room full of strangers you'll never see again. He's not wearing the dress to school, where the worst of the bullies will remember and tease him about it for years.

And you really and truly cannot see the difference? Really?

If you had been given the choice would you have chosen something for your child to be ridculed over? Of course not! This is something a parent has a choice over.

 

[luvsJack]

Yes, I realize you have definite gender roles for your children. I hope they don't disappoint you.

Because I think a parent should make the choice as to what a 3 year old wears in public?

Any roles I have in my mind for my children come from my children.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Because I think a parent should make the choice as to what a 3 year old wears in public?

Any roles I have in my mind for my children come from my children.

But you'd tell your 3 yr old son he can't wear the princess dress?

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Yes, I realize you have definite gender roles for your children. I hope they don't disappoint you.

And what exactly is WRONG with having gender roles for your children? A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. If they are going to grow up to be gay they are going to do it whether or not I let them wear a dress to lunch. So me telling them NO won't make them NOT gay either. It's not stifling your child it is just making a parenting decision, but those of you who think ALL PARENTS should let their boy children wear dresses are basically saying that the parents who don't let their boys wear dresses are WRONG.

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

But there's nothing wrong with raising your boys to be boys and your girls to be girls. They do have genders. We all do. Raising a child gender neutral is a new fad. It's the crunchy "open minded" thing to do.

But let's face it. We live in a society where it is not standard nor accepted for boys to wear dresses. Your attitude is still not going to change that either.

If my son had wanted to play with my daughter's barbies I never would have told him no. But I wouldn't have let him wear a dress out in public.

 

[PeterPan09]

Let's turn this around: What if you're eating at CRT with your family-all wearing gender appropriate attire-and you see a family with a boy dressed as a Princess? Do you declare an intervention and take his mother aside to warn her of the danger she is exposing her child to? Do you sit in judgement and discuss the failed parenting with your family? Do you catch the mother and say "Bravo"?

Me-I'm looking for a chance to say to Mom-BRAVO.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Bottom line to me is when you "protect" your boy from "girlie" things you're not sending him a message about others-you're sending him a message about HIM. When you let him make his choice AND prepare him for potential ignorance from others-you show him that HE is ok and those ignorant fools are not.

Along with the universal message that "girlie" things aren't as valued by society as boy things.