(snipped)
BUT, he was never set up for being ridiculed and that is what could happen for a young boy dressing in a frilly princess costume at CRT.
Actually, this is where we disagree. Because I think that CRT is quite possibly one of the SAFEST places in the world for a little boy to dress up as a princess. Everyone's distracted by their own families and their own fun. The staff are paid to be nice to you. No one cares about your child. And you're not going to see any of these people ever again.
Just like with gigantic school-aged children stuffed into strollers, there really isn't any serious worry about teasing from other children. And if some "adult" makes a rude comment, your child is likely to be having too good a time to even notice.
(Snipped again for space)
Its just like the "no guns" rule of toys. Boys will make ANYTHING into a gun. Sticks, rocks, blocks even the toy baby bottle!
You are right that kids are attracted to things they think are fun. Its their individual ideas of "fun" that send them toward a certain kind of toy.
In our Canadian town boys and girls turn sticks into swords. Guns really aren't on their radar when they're preschool aged.
I think that while boys do seem to be wired - on average - toward more hands-on play, and girls seem to be wired - on average - toward more verbal play,
what they choose to play with is very much determined by the culture they grow up in.
So it is that I've seen plenty of little boys at the local caregiver dropin shoving dolls under their shirts in order to "nurse" them.
You have no idea how much I was bullied. Heck, people still have comments to make about my so called "choice". There was no Ellen DeGeneres in the 1970's, no anti-bullying programs in school. My only saving grace was that there was no internet either so home was a refuge. It was the place I could be myself and like what I wanted because my parents made it that way.
They also helped me to understand that it wasn't ever about me. It was about the fears, ignorance and small mindedness of others. They took a lot too from other "well meaning" parents who had much to say about how they should "fix my problem." They knew it wasn't my problem, it wasn't a problem at all-it was the way God made me and God only makes good things.
Word!
My dd was born blind in one eye and with strabismus, or crossed eyes. She did not have surgery to straighten her eyes until she was 4. She was ridiculed for her eyes, by ADULTS. Never by a child. Should I have kept her home, too? Told her, sorry, you can't go to CRT, stupid people might make fun of your eyes?
There are ignorant and mean people in the world, that's for sure. We can't keep them away from our kids. If someone is low enough to ridicule a child in a princess dress, he's probably low enough to ridicule him for spilling his milk or laughing too loudly at the table. I for one, do what I think is best for my child, regardless of what others think.
And word to this, too!
And you really and truly cannot see the difference? Really?
If you had been given the choice would you have chosen something for your child to be ridculed over? Of course not! This is something a parent has a choice over.
I actually don't know about that... Would I have chosen to have my daughter born without a birthmark...? I suppose I would have at one point, but now I'm not at all sorry that she was. I believe having to learn to speak up for herself and stand against societal prejudice has made her a stronger, more confident and more compassionate person.
So if someone handed me a time machine today and said, "You can change this!" I would have to say, "No, thanks." (And by the way, my daughter agrees - she says there's no sense messing with time. You might end up someplace worse.)
Besides, you're assuming the child WILL be ridiculed at CRT. That he'll walk in and people will point and sneer and crush his 3yo self. I don't assume any such thing. I have a fair bit of faith in people's natural self-centeredness. I honestly don't believe a bunch of vacationing strangers are going to care one bit what that child is wearing. And I do believe he'll get lots of positive attention and comments about how "pretty" he looks from the servers. That's their job, after all!
Let's turn this around: What if you're eating at CRT with your family-all wearing gender appropriate attire-and you see a family with a boy dressed as a Princess? Do you declare an intervention and take his mother aside to warn her of the danger she is exposing her child to? Do you sit in judgement and discuss the failed parenting with your family? Do you catch the mother and say "Bravo"?
Me-I'm looking for a chance to say to Mom-BRAVO.
Well, honestly, I doubt I'd notice. Clothing choices aren't something that'd ever be on my radar.
However, I
did notice a wee little girl singing her own little made up songs on the bus the other day, and her embarrassed mum trying to shush her. I leaned over and tapped the mum on the shoulder, and when she tried to apologize to me I said, "No, no, I just wanted to say that my daughter was the same way when she was little! And now she's a teenager, composing and recording her own songs. She even won a national poetry award."
The woman brightened and said, "Most people find her annoying... But you mean my daughter might grow up to write music."
"She might," I said. "Aw heck, my daughter still goes around singing in public. It's cute." And then I sat back, and enjoyed seeing that mum smile proudly at her daughter all the way down town.
So whatever your inspiration, I think it never hurts to say a kind word. Go for it!
(I'm honestly not worried about anyone abusively forcing a little boy to wear a princess dress against his will at CRT. I think the odds of that happening at so remote, they're not worth worrying about. If I happen to notice a boy in a dress, I think I'm safe assuming it was his choice.)
) You are telling people their opinions "make no sense", and that their parenting decisions are not "parenting", but being a "buddy". How does that differ from whatever statements you perceive as telling you that you are wrong?
