Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[gracie1]

I once read THIS blog:



I love her.

 

[luvsJack]

But you'd tell your 3 yr old son he can't wear the princess dress?

He can wear it at home, he can even wear it on Halloween. But until he can make the decision to wear it while KNOWING what may happen; its up to me to decide. And that would be my decision.

So, if my daughter wanted to wear a Madonna costume with pointy bra and all, should I allow that too? Or maybe a stripper's outfit with thigh high boots, ultra mini skirt and plunging neckline? I mean, after all, she is just expressing herself.

If you go back and read, you will find that I said my son wore a wedding dress on halloween in high school and wears a kilt weekly. He is very comfortable with who he is and what he does. The difference? He makes those choices while INFORMED of what someone may say about it.

 

[PeterPan09]

And what exactly is WRONG with having gender roles for your children? A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. If they are going to grow up to be gay they are going to do it whether or not I let them wear a dress to lunch. So me telling them NO won't make them NOT gay either. It's not stifling your child it is just making a parenting decision, but those of you who think ALL PARENTS should let their boy children wear dresses are basically saying that the parents who don't let their boys wear dresses are WRONG.

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

But there's nothing wrong with raising your boys to be boys and your girls to be girls. They do have genders. We all do. Raising a child gender neutral is a new fad. It's the crunchy "open minded" thing to do.

But let's face it. We live in a society where it is not standard nor accepted for boys to wear dresses. Your attitude is still not going to change that either.

If my son had wanted to play with my daughter's barbies I never would have told him no. But I wouldn't have let him wear a dress out in public.

I had it easy-I was a girl who liked to dress and play like a boy. I took my share of bullying and my parents their share of judgment-but it would have been FAR worse if it was the other way around. I'm speaking from the experienced seat of someone who was different, weird and loved. I know what gave me a firm foundation and strength, I know what made me feel loved and accepted. I also know folks who were raised in gender roles that did not fit them and the struggle they had with acceptance and handling the bullying that came along later in life.

 

[kydisneyfans]

My child would not.

 

[NikitaZee]

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

This!!

 

[luvsJack]

Let's turn this around: What if you're eating at CRT with your family-all wearing gender appropriate attire-and you see a family with a boy dressed as a Princess? Do you declare an intervention and take his mother aside to warn her of the danger she is exposing her child to? Do you sit in judgement and discuss the failed parenting with your family? Do you catch the mother and say "Bravo"?

Me-I'm looking for a chance to say to Mom-BRAVO.

I don't do either. It doesn't have to be either/or. I eat my meal and enjoy my family. Its her child and her choice.

Why would I say "bravo"? How do you know she didn't make the kid wear the thing? You have no idea what the dynamics of that family is just by the fact that the kid has a princess dress on. She could be an abusive parent for all you know.

 

[ICF]

Me-I'm looking for a chance to say to Mom-BRAVO.

Why, for all you know she forced the kid to wear the thing......

 

[cornflake]

And what exactly is WRONG with having gender roles for your children? A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. If they are going to grow up to be gay they are going to do it whether or not I let them wear a dress to lunch. So me telling them NO won't make them NOT gay either. It's not stifling your child it is just making a parenting decision, but those of you who think ALL PARENTS should let their boy children wear dresses are basically saying that the parents who don't let their boys wear dresses are WRONG.

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

But there's nothing wrong with raising your boys to be boys and your girls to be girls. They do have genders. We all do. Raising a child gender neutral is a new fad. It's the crunchy "open minded" thing to do.

But let's face it. We live in a society where it is not standard nor accepted for boys to wear dresses. Your attitude is still not going to change that either.

If my son had wanted to play with my daughter's barbies I never would have told him no. But I wouldn't have let him wear a dress out in public.

No one said anything about being gay, they said something about gender roles or gender norms.

Raising kids gender neutral isn't a new fad, people have been trying to stop those old-fashioned societal norms from being primary influences for decades and decades.

The 'boys to be boys' and etc., thing isn't that boys are boys it's that boys should conform to some specific, western, middle American idea of what being a boy means, from 100 years ago. Well maybe a bit less because I believe 100 years ago, pink was the boy colour and blue was for girls.

As for 'your attitude is not going to change that' well someone's will. You could have said the same thing, again 100 years ago, about women voting, to a suffragette. Look what happened.

It's always been odd to me that girls wear "boy clothes" and it's totally accepted and chic (check out Annie Hall for how long that's been the case), but a boy in "girl clothes" is somehow weird. As there have been a lot of collections with guys in skirts over the past decade or two, I'd say it's probably ekeing over, but some people like their gender norms.

As noted above me, the problem with them - besides that they're constraining for no earthly reason - is that there's a value judgement inherent in them. Boys 'don't cry' girls 'are emotional' translates to many people as 'Hillary Rodham shouldn't be president, she'd be too emotional,' (just as an example). Or that 'girls play with dolls' means women are naturally suited to take care of children and men aren't, thus men aren't expected to care for their infants in the same way and men who stay home with kids are strange while women who do are good parents.

It all just perpetuates a baseless, stereotypical, confining mess.

 

[Uncle Remus]

And what exactly is WRONG with having gender roles for your children? A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. If they are going to grow up to be gay they are going to do it whether or not I let them wear a dress to lunch. So me telling them NO won't make them NOT gay either. It's not stifling your child it is just making a parenting decision, but those of you who think ALL PARENTS should let their boy children wear dresses are basically saying that the parents who don't let their boys wear dresses are WRONG.

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

But there's nothing wrong with raising your boys to be boys and your girls to be girls. They do have genders. We all do. Raising a child gender neutral is a new fad. It's the crunchy "open minded" thing to do.

But let's face it. We live in a society where it is not standard nor accepted for boys to wear dresses. Your attitude is still not going to change that either.

If my son had wanted to play with my daughter's barbies I never would have told him no. But I wouldn't have let him wear a dress out in public.

Crunchy.

Sorry, I don't keep up with the latest fads or sayin's.

Hey, remember the good ol' days...before gays started actin' up?

 

[PeterPan09]

I don't do either. It doesn't have to be either/or. I eat my meal and enjoy my family. Its her child and her choice.

Why would I say "bravo"? How do you know she didn't make the kid wear the thing? You have no idea what the dynamics of that family is just by the fact that the kid has a princess dress on. She could be an abusive parent for all you know.

If said child was crying or otherwise looked uncomfortable-then I would think abusive. I was thinking of a happy child enjoying his vacation.

Interesting that the idea of a child being "forced" to wear something they didn't feel comfortable made you think abuse.

 

[PeterPan09]

No one said anything about being gay, they said something about gender roles or gender norms.

Raising kids gender neutral isn't a new fad, people have been trying to stop those old-fashioned societal norms from being primary influences for decades and decades.

The 'boys to be boys' and etc., thing isn't that boys are boys it's that boys should conform to some specific, western, middle American idea of what being a boy means, from 100 years ago. Well maybe a bit less because I believe 100 years ago, pink was the boy colour and blue was for girls.

As for 'your attitude is not going to change that' well someone's will. You could have said the same thing, again 100 years ago, about women voting, to a suffragette. Look what happened.

It's always been odd to me that girls wear "boy clothes" and it's totally accepted and chic (check out Annie Hall for how long that's been the case), but a boy in "girl clothes" is somehow weird. As there have been a lot of collections with guys in skirts over the past decade or two, I'd say it's probably ekeing over, but some people like their gender norms.

As noted above me, the problem with them - besides that they're constraining for no earthly reason - is that there's a value judgement inherent in them. Boys 'don't cry' girls 'are emotional' translates to many people as 'Hillary Rodham shouldn't be president, she'd be too emotional,' (just as an example). Or that 'girls play with dolls' means women are naturally suited to take care of children and men aren't, thus men aren't expected to care for their infants in the same way and men who stay home with kids are strange while women who do are good parents.

It all just perpetuates a baseless, stereotypical, confining mess.

gotta go to work now...chat later!!!

 

[luvsJack]

Along with the universal message that "girlie" things aren't as valued by society as boy things.

Do you often stretch things so much? It has nothing to do with one thing being more valued over another.

 

[luvsJack]

If said child was crying or otherwise looked uncomfortable-then I would think abusive. I was thinking of a happy child enjoying his vacation.

Interesting that the idea of a child being "forced" to wear something they didn't feel comfortable made you think abuse.

Oh, for pete's sakes. That is not what I meant at all. I simply meant that I don't see allowing a boy to wear the dress as a reason to say "bravo" nor do I see it as a reason to judge the mother as wrong. One thing that you can see in that instance is hardly enough info to applaud someone as a parent or to deem them a bad parent. Its a choice no more, no less.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

And you really and truly cannot see the difference? Really?

If you had been given the choice would you have chosen something for your child to be ridculed over? Of course not! This is something a parent has a choice over.

Of course not, but I didn't. And my dd didn't have a choice but to go out in public that way every single day. I was not happy about it, but she was too young to notice the on-going stares and ridicule, then strong enough to ignore them, every single day. It taught me two things: 1. Parents notice that stuff WAY more than their kids do. 2. Kids are stronger and more resilient than their parents often think.

I think people don't give their kids enough credit sometimes. I don't think a few stares and stupid comments during an hour-long meal at CRT are going to damage a child's psyche.

Nobody is wrong. One set of ppl do it one way and another set of ppl do it another way. Neither one is more right than the other.

Then why start the thread?

 

[luvsJack]

No one said anything about being gay, they said something about gender roles or gender norms.

Raising kids gender neutral isn't a new fad, people have been trying to stop those old-fashioned societal norms from being primary influences for decades and decades.

The 'boys to be boys' and etc., thing isn't that boys are boys it's that boys should conform to some specific, western, middle American idea of what being a boy means, from 100 years ago. Well maybe a bit less because I believe 100 years ago, pink was the boy colour and blue was for girls.

As for 'your attitude is not going to change that' well someone's will. You could have said the same thing, again 100 years ago, about women voting, to a suffragette. Look what happened.

It's always been odd to me that girls wear "boy clothes" and it's totally accepted and chic (check out Annie Hall for how long that's been the case), but a boy in "girl clothes" is somehow weird. As there have been a lot of collections with guys in skirts over the past decade or two, I'd say it's probably ekeing over, but some people like their gender norms.

As noted above me, the problem with them - besides that they're constraining for no earthly reason - is that there's a value judgement inherent in them. Boys 'don't cry' girls 'are emotional' translates to many people as 'Hillary Rodham shouldn't be president, she'd be too emotional,' (just as an example). Or that 'girls play with dolls' means women are naturally suited to take care of children and men aren't, thus men aren't expected to care for their infants in the same way and men who stay home with kids are strange while women who do are good parents.

It all just perpetuates a baseless, stereotypical, confining mess.

Not choosing to allow your young boy to wear a princess costume to CRT does not in any way mean that you believe any of the bolded. I certainly do not.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

No one said anything about being gay, they said something about gender roles or gender norms.

Raising kids gender neutral isn't a new fad, people have been trying to stop those old-fashioned societal norms from being primary influences for decades and decades.

The 'boys to be boys' and etc., thing isn't that boys are boys it's that boys should conform to some specific, western, middle American idea of what being a boy means, from 100 years ago. Well maybe a bit less because I believe 100 years ago, pink was the boy colour and blue was for girls.

As for 'your attitude is not going to change that' well someone's will. You could have said the same thing, again 100 years ago, about women voting, to a suffragette. Look what happened.

It's always been odd to me that girls wear "boy clothes" and it's totally accepted and chic (check out Annie Hall for how long that's been the case), but a boy in "girl clothes" is somehow weird. As there have been a lot of collections with guys in skirts over the past decade or two, I'd say it's probably ekeing over, but some people like their gender norms.

As noted above me, the problem with them - besides that they're constraining for no earthly reason - is that there's a value judgement inherent in them. Boys 'don't cry' girls 'are emotional' translates to many people as 'Hillary Rodham shouldn't be president, she'd be too emotional,' (just as an example). Or that 'girls play with dolls' means women are naturally suited to take care of children and men aren't, thus men aren't expected to care for their infants in the same way and men who stay home with kids are strange while women who do are good parents.

It all just perpetuates a baseless, stereotypical, confining mess.

Like I said, attitudes are not going to change anything anytime soon. Women may use to have been put in dresses and FINALLY allowed to wear pants. They may have had to fight to vote, etc. But I don't think all the little feel good posts in the world are going to change the views and expectations in society that boys don't wear dresses.

30 years from now...50 years from now, it may be more common. With gay rights and equal rights coming along ppl may feel more comfortable. I mean you have transvestites wearing dresses out in public now, but are they accepted by society in general? No. They are not. They are more than most likely talked about, whispered about, pointed at, and made fun of. Maybe even bullied. But the longer time goes on the more that may change a little.

But I don't think you are ever going to see a day, not in our lifetime, where it is socially acceptable for men to walk down the street in a dress.

I have told all of my children from the time they were old enough to know what gay means, that if they grow up to be gay we will love them and accept them and to never feel ashamed of who they are. I still feel that way. But I am still not going to let me son wear a dress in public. And I associate gay with the dress because so many of you have had to point out that we who wouldn't let our sons wear a dress may think it is going to turn them gay to let them wear one. I know that is ridiculous. Kids are either born that way or they aren't. My sister is gay and you could tell from the time she was very little. She knew it and everybody knew it from a very early age. So I do know that letting a boy wear a dress won't make them gay and NOT letting them wear one won't make them NOT gay. You can love and accept your child for who they are while still conforming to societal norms. It doesn't have to be either or.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Of course not, but I didn't. And my dd didn't have a choice but to go out in public that way every single day. I was not happy about it, but she was too young to notice the on-going stares and ridicule, then strong enough to ignore them, every single day. It taught me two things: 1. Parents notice that stuff WAY more than their kids do. 2. Kids are stronger and more resilient than their parents often think.

I think people don't give their kids enough credit sometimes. I don't think a few stares and stupid comments during an hour-long meal at CRT are going to damage a child's psyche.

Then why start the thread?

Why does anybody start a thread about anything? When someone posts a thread asking about marriage advice you don't really think that woman is going to take advice she was given on a message board and make major life decisions based on what strangers say but she asks and ppl talk about it to give their opinions and discuss why or why not they would or would not do certain things. It's called discussion. One side doesn't have to be right to have successful discussion. Thinking that is actually not very open minded to even have to ask.

 

[Goofyluver]

Like I said, attitudes are not going to change anything anytime soon. Women may use to have been put in dresses and FINALLY allowed to wear pants. They may have had to fight to vote, etc. But I don't think all the little feel good posts in the world are going to change the views and expectations in society that boys don't wear dresses.

30 years from now...50 years from now, it may be more common. With gay rights and equal rights coming along ppl may feel more comfortable. I mean you have transvestites wearing dresses out in public now, but are they accepted by society in general? No. They are not. They are more than most likely talked about, whispered about, pointed at, and made fun of. Maybe even bullied. But the longer time goes on the more that may change a little.

But I don't think you are ever going to see a day, not in our lifetime, where it is socially acceptable for men to walk down the street in a dress.

I have told all of my children from the time they were old enough to know what gay means, that if they grow up to be gay we will love them and accept them and to never feel ashamed of who they are. I still feel that way. But I am still not going to let me son wear a dress in public. And I associate gay with the dress because so many of you have had to point out that we who wouldn't let our sons wear a dress may think it is going to turn them gay to let them wear one. I know that is ridiculous. Kids are either born that way or they aren't. My sister is gay and you could tell from the time she was very little. She knew it and everybody knew it from a very early age. So I do know that letting a boy wear a dress won't make them gay and NOT letting them wear one won't make them NOT gay. You can love and accept your child for who they are while still conforming to societal norms. It doesn't have to be either or.

We always tell our own son, change starts with him.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Do you often stretch things so much? It has nothing to do with one thing being more valued over another.

Yeah, that's why women are paid 77 cents on the dollar for the same work men do.

 

[cornflake]

But I don't think you are ever going to see a day, not in our lifetime, where it is socially acceptable for men to walk down the street in a dress.

I don't know where you live but I'm guessing it's not where I do.

I've seen guys in skirts on the street - not every day but it's not so rare I remember when or anything - and it doesn't raise an eyebrow. There was a guy in a summer h.s. program I went to used to like to wear a skirt, no one cared.

As for transvestites, eh, I don't think there's really a lot of whispering or ridicule, heck, many you wouldn't know.

I also think the 'well it might change but not for a long time so don't go along' seems ... odd. How does it change but people not going along? Would you have told your daughters not to wear pants if they wanted to, 100 whatever years ago, because maybe someday it'd change but not in their lifetime?

Would you have told them to just hush about wanting to vote for the same reason?