Would you leave your 12-year old alone in hotel room?

[mdsoccermom]

I wouldn't leave a 12 yr old alone in a hotel room while sibs were having fun at the kid's club and mom and dad were out having a fun date night. Seems like banishment to me. I think my 12 yr old would prob be upset she didn't get to go to the kid's club or out to dinner with mom and dad.

I am curious do parents not get enough date nights at home that you have to find a way to have one while in another state on vacation? Just curious.

I think I would cancel date night and do an activity with the whole family like Hoop Dee Doo or the Luau.

Not every 12 year would feel that way. My daughter would have rather clawed her eyes out than go into a kids club at 12. She would have loved the time alone.

We rarely get date nights at home because we have so much going on. In any event, the way I see it, family vacations don't mean we are chained together 24/7. It means something for everyone, and that may include occasional activities separate from the others.

Then again, we just got off the Oasis of the Seas where we let them, 10 and 13, go around the ship by themselves and stay in the cabin while we went to a comedy show.

 

[Minnesota!]

You're traveling to a different city in a different state to a resort cram packed with strangers and you want to have a date and leave your 12-year old, who (I guarantee) has the mind of a child, alone. I say No. I would not, ever. What if someone knocks on the door and says they're a manager? What if the fire alarm goes off? What if your child decides (despite what you have told them) they can sneak down to the vending machine, but they forget to take a key? What if, what if? Just because it's Disney doesn't make it safe.

Over think things, much? What if all you want, but if you are too busy worrying about the what ifs, you are missing the "is now".

I wouldn't leave a 12 yr old alone in a hotel room while sibs were having fun at the kid's club and mom and dad were out having a fun date night. Seems like banishment to me. I think my 12 yr old would prob be upset she didn't get to go to the kid's club or out to dinner with mom and dad.

I am curious do parents not get enough date nights at home that you have to find a way to have one while in another state on vacation? Just curious.

I think I would cancel date night and do an activity with the whole family like Hoop Dee Doo or the Luau.

My older son, who is only 8, would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to be left alone - anywhere - for a length of time. He would absolutely be ok with us sending YDS to a kids club and DH and I going out on a date.

No, we do not get date nights at home. Who would watch the kids? We don't have people in our lives to do that on a frequent basis. Well, unless you count bowling league every other Saturday as a date. But that's the time alone DH and I get - surrounded by beer and bowling balls!

I would and have left my 12 year old in the hotel room alone but it was a night of doing laundry not off on a date night! I don't see the need to have a date night while on a family vacation though-that can be done at home anytime!

Dates cannot be done anytime at home for everyone. I have no family around to watch my kids. So...Disney is where it's at! We do 2 date nights a trip. The kids love it, we love it. They beg for a 3rd night, but I can't justify the expense!

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree, I can't imagine that our daughter would have wanted to be left alone at that age in a hotel room on our family vacation. When we are on a family vacation, it's because we want to spend fun time together as a family. If my husband and I wanted alone time, we would take an adult weekend trip and leave the kids home (with grandma when our oldest was younger). That's just us. When we were going to WDW in October, 2011, I posted a question asking about experiences for our then 17 year old daughter and a lot of posters suggested that we give her time alone. So I asked her if she would like some time alone and she looked at me like I was nuts. No way did she want to stay at the hotel or go around the parks by herself. If she had a friend with her, then yes, she would have, but on vacation and by herself? She said no way.

When you say daughter, do you mean an only child? Most of my kids would be fine (ds9 and dd16 would be thrilled) being left alone in this situation (but not dd9). This might sound crazy, but all kids are different - many really different.

If dd11 was okay with it, I would be fine leaving her at the hotel alone. She is a real rule follower, and doesn't panic. If the fire alarm went off, she'd calmly leave the building.

Ds9 - no way now, probably no way when he's older. He's been puzzled why he can't stay home alone (or in the van alone) since the age of 3. He used to think it was nuts that I made him come along with me instead of leaving him home alone.

It really depend on the child.

 

[NotUrsula]

Sure I would, and do, all the time. However, at WDW, DS has always preferred to go to the arcade for the evening, or go to DQ or to a park, all of which are fine options because the bus system will get him back to the hotel. He stopped going to kids clubs at age 10, when he felt too old for them (He's a mature-looking kid. The little kids thought he was an adult, and adult males are rather scarce at the kids' clubs, you know.)

A girl who liked reading or movies or chatting with her friends might well welcome a few hours to herself on a trip that normally means constant family togetherness. Getting a pleasant break from one another under those circumstances is a good thing for most families.

As to date nights at home, not often; we don't have a regular sitter who can stay past 9 pm. We always look forward to being able to go out at WDW; this is the first time we can do it in a while, because our youngest is finally old enough to go to the clubs -- and she is DYING to be allowed to go!

 

[tmarquez]

A normal 12 yo? Without a doubt, unless she didn't want to for some reason.

When I was 12, my friends and I all babysat young children. We were taught what to do in case of an emergency, we were responsible, we were self sufficient. There were no cell phones. Did we mess up sometimes? Sure, that is how you learn.

Reading some of the responses makes me afraid for the next generation. Are they going to be able to do anything for themselves at all? How will they be prepared to be DRIVING at 15/16? Going off to college at 17/18? Yikes.

 

[Lionqueen2]

Absolutely not! Knowing that many other people could have access to that hotel room while I was not there would make me feel uncomfortable.
There are too many ways to have 'date' nights at home when no sitter is available to worry about risking the safety of a child.

 

[Planogirl]

A kid could resent her parents for going out without her at home too. It's all about expectations and boundaries.

OP, if you feel that she will be OK then go for it. Have a nice quiet dinner and plan something special for her the next day. You are raising your child - not the posters here.

 

[dis-happy]

I would say go ahead. Staying put in a properly locked room for a few hours seems to me pretty darn safe.

Just to show how things change... back in the mid 70s, when both the World and myself were young, I decided to go alone from the Contemporary to the Polynesian via monorail because the game room at the Poly was better. I was either 6 or 7 at the time.

To be fair, when I casually mentioned this later to my parents when I returned to our hotel room, my meandering travels were severely restricted! (I couldn't understand their distress, of course. Never got back to the Poly that trip, either...)

love this story. Guess you've always been a Traveler Steve!

 

[lemondog]

Thanks everyone for the feedback, and I am LMAO at all the people getting their panties in a wad about us going on a date night while on vacation. Give me a break! I know my child, there is NOTHING she would like better than a couple of hours without her sisters or parents around and the twins BEG us every time to go to the Neverland Club...WAY cooler than hanging out with mom and dad for dinner.

 

[Granny square]

We left ours for date nights. We live in the middle if nowhere. Date options suck. So you can bet we date when we traveled.

Mine were fine at 12. They babysat siblings, volunteered at facilities, and experienced life on their own. They are adventures at heart and are still. Dealing with emergencies is easily taught.

I would have loved quiet time and I was only traveling with my mom and sister!

 

[mjkacmom]

I would say go ahead. Staying put in a properly locked room for a few hours seems to me pretty darn safe.

Just to show how things change... back in the mid 70s, when both the World and myself were young, I decided to go alone from the Contemporary to the Polynesian via monorail because the game room at the Poly was better. I was either 6 or 7 at the time.

To be fair, when I casually mentioned this later to my parents when I returned to our hotel room, my meandering travels were severely restricted! (I couldn't understand their distress, of course. Never got back to the Poly that trip, either...)

Really? Back in the 70's, we always stayed at the Contemporary, because the game room was HUGE, and my parents would give my sister and I a roll of quarters while they relaxed by the pool (we went every year, so between the ages of 5 - 11). Who knew the Poly was better.

Being the older one, I got to take the monorail to MK by myself, armed with my ride tickets! I think I was 8 or 9 the first time. It was so much fun!

 

[Patience]

When you say daughter, do you mean an only child? Most of my kids would be fine (ds9 and dd16 would be thrilled) being left alone in this situation (but not dd9). This might sound crazy, but all kids are different - many really different.

If dd11 was okay with it, I would be fine leaving her at the hotel alone. She is a real rule follower, and doesn't panic. If the fire alarm went off, she'd calmly leave the building.

Ds9 - no way now, probably no way when he's older. He's been puzzled why he can't stay home alone (or in the van alone) since the age of 3. He used to think it was nuts that I made him come along with me instead of leaving him home alone.

It really depend on the child.

Hi, no, we have two daughters with a big age difference between them. Our oldest daughter is now 18 and a college freshman and our youngest is 5. I agree it depends on the child. Some kids would enjoy being alone and some wouldn't.

 

[Lionqueen2]

You are right. Your daughter is your child and you alone are responsible for decisions regarding her.

I guess I'll never understand why people asks questions and then LTAO at anyone who gives them an opinion that differs from what they want to do. I'm thinking if you're asking a question, you are undecided and wish to hear both sides.

 

[ReneeA]

I would have no issues with leaving my kids at 12 for a couple hours in the hotel. There are cell phones and you can get a quick cab back from anywhere in WDW if need be.

My kids are 9 & 11, and very responsible. Once a week, they stay home after school for a couple hours alone until DH gets home from work. They do great and enjoy their time alone. Oddly enough, they seem to get along much better than when we are home with them.

They were 9 & 10 this summer when we spent 10 days at the WL with another family that we are very good friends with. All 4 kids, ages 11, 10, 9 & 9 spent time alone in our room while the sets of parents hung out on the WL beach for a couple hours. I know it's a bit different since we were still technically in the same location as them and they knew where to find us, but it was a good test of what they are capable of. When we got back to the room, they were all hovered around the laptop playing Minecraft.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that the problem is that the OP wasn't asking whether she should have a date night but whether others would leave a 12 year old alone in a hotel room. That's two different subjects IMO.

I shouldn't speak for the OP though.

 

[Robbi]

Chiming in again.
If anyone feels their child is mature enough to be left in the room, great! It's what I would have done with my children.
If anyone feels there child is not able to be left in the room, great! Not my choice but I respect yours.
Neither is the right choice for everyone. This does not mean that one parenting style is better than the other. We don't know each poster's back stories and why we would make the choice either way. Parenting is hard enough. How about we just respect each other's decisions?

 

[Granny square]

Exactly. Some kids would be happy and deal with it, others wouldn't!

My niece wouldn't like it at 14. My boys would have at 10. All should be able to deal with driving and college at appropriate times.

 

[lemondog]

You are right. Your daughter is your child and you alone are responsible for decisions regarding her.

I guess I'll never understand why people asks questions and then LTAO at anyone who gives them an opinion that differs from what they want to do. I'm thinking if you're asking a question, you are undecided and wish to hear both sides.

Because as another poster stated I didn't come her asking for opinions on whether a date night was "appropriate" for a family vacation. That is NOT an opinion on the question I originally asked.

 

[Granny square]

Because as another poster stated I didn't come her asking for opinions on whether a date night was "appropriate" for a family vacation. That is NOT an opinion on the question I originally asked.

Lol, it is so easy to get side tracked here! Enjoy your time!!!

 

[married2mm]

Lol, it is so easy to get side tracked here! Enjoy your time!!!

what is this sidetracking you speak of?!
I know only of concise,informed decisions and responses.