Worried about family cancelling..What to do?

[mikesmom]

Here's the scenario: We have reservations the first week of October for the Food & Wine Fest. Reserved a 2 bedroom for myself and DH and DH's nephew and wife. They are great people and we look forward to enjoying the Fest with them. The room is on us, something we wanted to do. We also reserved a 1 bedroom for a friend/business associate of DH and his wife. They wanted to go when we did. They will pay for their room, though they haven't yet. I booked both these rooms at the 11 month window.

Here's the problem: Last night I told DH we were just about 90 days out on this ressie and I was going to email the others, and give everyone a reminder that the trip was upcoming. DHs relatives are going through some job changes and his friend is having some family issues and I can see the writing on the wall. Last year DH had surgery, we ended up cancelling close to date, friends who were sharing 2 bedroom didn't want to go without us, friends who asked us to book 1 bedroom (technically not travelling with us, just wanted to be there at same time) decided not to go if we weren't. I was the one who had to re-rent and dump distressed points inside 30 days. We even lost some points completely. The year before, other relatives of DHs cancelled a ressie. It was farther out, but we had borrowed points to do it, as it was large and that one was a nightmare to re arrange and rent out. See the pattern here?

Anyway, by an early email I was hoping to get anyone who was going to bail out an early opportunity while I still had a reasonable amount of time to bank or even rent out the ressies (Boardwalk View!) as they are nice ones. I can go down to a single 2 bedroom if one couple bails, can retain just the 1 bedroom if both couples bail.

DH doesn't want me to call anyone! He says neither couple will know this far out if their situations will clear up enough to travel. He doesn't want them to cancel if there is any possibility they can go. He doesn't want me to put any "pressure" on folks who are upset about other things. I feel like a heads up at 90 days gives better odds they will decide by 60 days so I can act. If they wait until we are 20 days out... well you all know how much mess that will be. I don't want to pressure anyone negatively either, I want to remind them they planned this! I'm the one who has to deal with the mess if people bail. Also I'm the one who pays the maintenance on our points (DH paid the buyin). We split the money if we do any renting out, so I feel like I get the hit if we have to have a fire sale below $9.

I hate to ignore DHs wishes and I don't like to pressure anyone who is having issues, but DHs friends and family have a poor track record on these things. Or am I just being paranoid too early? Or selfish about the situation? Any peaceful suggestions?

 

[lllovell]

Ouch! Usually its family and friends that don't seem to really understand about DVC, but from what you are saying hubby doesn't think its that big of a deal either.

I would email, asking for confirmation, reminding them that you can cancel at this point with no penalities so you really need them to confirm that they are going. State in the email that you can cancel in the next 30 days without a hitch and that you understand if people can't go, but that you are looking forward to this vacation and want things to go smoothly as possible.

I wouldn't ignore hubby, but I would give it another go with him as well. We had a 2 bedroom at Christmas for family and the first thing my b-i-l said when they discovered they were going to have a baby in January was "call Laura and let her know we can't travel in December" (high risk, etc.). They understood completely how important it is to give plenty of notice and I was able to turn our 2 bedroom into a one bedroom and then allow some other friends several nights in a studio a different week from us (with our own baby coming, traveling this year is not that easy). Good luck with this one!

 

[Granny]

Last year DH had surgery, we ended up cancelling close to date, friends who were sharing 2 bedroom didn't want to go without us, friends who asked us to book 1 bedroom (technically not travelling with us, just wanted to be there at same time) decided not to go if we weren't. I was the one who had to re-rent and dump distressed points inside 30 days. We even lost some points completely. The year before, other relatives of DHs cancelled a ressie. It was farther out, but we had borrowed points to do it, as it was large and that one was a nightmare to re arrange and rent out. See the pattern here?

Fool me once...fool me twice...fool me thrice.

Yep, I'm seeing a pattern. You and DH need to have a talk, methinks.

 

[rocketriter]

You're going to have to work this out with DH, since silently going against his wishes will blow up on you. When you discuss it, you need to make it clear that while you can write your e-mail to avoid insulting anyone, the group does owe it to you not to waste your points based on their own personal problems, and you do not owe them wasted points just to avoid their feeling any pressure. This puts inappropriate pressure on you, and it puts the cost of their needs--which is their responsibility--on you as well. Hold your ground on this.

In the future, plan trips with just your immediate family. Linking trips with friends and relatives might work for you only when each family makes their own arrangements and takes responsibility for their own problems.

 

[CarolMN]

...(snip).....In the future, plan trips with just your immediate family. Linking trips with friends and relatives might work for you only when each family makes their own arrangements and takes responsibility for their own problems.

ITA!

Best wishes -

 

[mamaprincess]

I just thought I'd offer my family as an alternative, we're very reliable.

 

[Pa@okw95]

I don't know if this is going to make you feel any better but you are not alone. This has happen to most of us that have been members for any period of time. Making reservations 11 months out for other people is difficult. I almost got stuck with a GV once with just my wife and I in it. I ended up begging the original envitees. Three of the came, we had 5 in a grand villa. This day and age people just are not in stable enough situations to deal with 11 months or 7 months resevations. The thing is learn from it. I only invite one couple down now as our guests, we usually go by ourselves. That is what we are doing this year-it is just too much trouble. Enjoy DVC for yourself from now on.

 

[JimMIA]

In the future, plan trips with just your immediate family. Linking trips with friends and relatives might work for you only when each family makes their own arrangements and takes responsibility for their own problems.

I agree as well.

I do what a lot of others do. "Want to come with us? GREAT!!! Go to the DISboards Rent/Trade Board and rent points for $10-12 pp. It's a heckuva deal for you, and we'll have the time of our lives together at WDW."

Sure, I know I could rent them the points -- but I don't want to be in the jam you're in.

 

[sagwanamu]

If I were you, I would wait until 30 days mark, which time points can be put back if you cancel a room, if you did not borrow, and you may bank some depending on your use year as well.

You still have a plenty of time...

Don't worry about problems that may/may not arise... Instead think about good time you will have...

 

[CharlesTD]

I would e mail them just to refresh thier memory you never know and it doesn't hurt to plan ahead.

 

[kathleena]

1) Don't do it behind DHs back.

2) Talk with DH again and find a compromise. You may not need to know at 90 days. He may be able to find comfort with 60 days.

3) Never, ever, ever do this again.

Good Luck.

 

[Candace]

I would e mail them just to refresh thier memory you never know and it doesn't hurt to plan ahead.

I also would email them now to "refresh their memory". Tell them that you will email them again later to inquire of any changes or possible cancellations, and that you MUST know by a certain date (of your choosing). Then, as another poster suggested - *Never* do this again. I have been through this too and it's just not worth the hassle. Good luck!

 

[gjw007]

I'd call and remind them. It gives them an opportunity to bail out more gracefully now than just before they were scheduled to go. They may have even forgot about the planned trip.

 

[Cruelladeville]

Call and talk to your guests, and remind them of the dates. You might mention the "cost" of the room(X $10) so they have some idea of the cost to you. Then call them again 45 days out, and if they sound "iffy" on going, ask them if you should cancel their portion of the ressies.

Don't ever do this again! This comes from a person who has a grand villa reserved for three weeks from now, and we are down to 6 people, and 4 people are leaving two days early, so we two will be alone in that grand villa for two days!

 

[k_k_100]

Would your husband have a problem w/ you calling them so you can make PS reservations if they want any? It would be a courtesy - You never know... maybe they have always dreamed of having breakfast w/ Condy

When you are traveling w/ others it is always important to stay in communication - The fact that you are giving them a "reminder" that they really have to commit is just a little bonus

 

[iankh]

I would word the email very positively but one method I use is:

"We would love you to come, but I need some information:

1. If you want to come, let me know

2. If you DON'T want to come, do nothing. If I don't hear from you by mm/dd I we will take that as your decision that you have changed your mind and do not wish to join us."

I find that if people really want to do something, letting them know that silence will be interpreted as a no makes them take action. I don't chase people for decisions. I tend to throw the ball in their lap.

 

[Laurabearz]

I would send them an email asking about dining preferences becasue the PS window is opening up... and while discussing the PS"s I would ask how firm they are, at the moment, but telling them you understand a lot can happen over a couple of months..

 

[mikesmom]

My thanks to the posters who suggested calling them about PS - an inspired idea! I can remind them without reminding them! Besides it makes perfect sense as there are so many special dining choices during F&W.

And my thanks to those who suggested we never, ever do this again. You're absolutely right. I'm caught between those who think that these days you can't plan ahead and those who think that these days they are too busy and booked up to make last minute plans!

Mama I'll keep your family in mind - I told DH if HE bails again I will be going alone. SOMEONE will be using a one bedroom and I may need company.

Cruella: How about I join you in that GV, sounds like you'll have LOTS of extra room, and then you can join me for my abandoned ressie?

 

[wdwstar]

It is hard trusting family & friends. we just went on a family reunoin for christmas and i booked right at the 11 month booking for everyone. i kept sending friendly snail mail to all my neices & nephew of the parks and restuarants we will be going to, what kind of food they like, friendly emails about ps and what other things that they would like to do. I gave dsis the dirty job, to let the whole family to know how important it was for everyone to be committed for this trip now that the resort was already booked and ps were being made. i know my family was committed to this trip, i was not really worried, just exhausted after the whole trip from all the planning. Just remember when you go as large groups, you cannot make everyone happy. pixie dust for you

 

[dianeschlicht]

I usually involve guests in a LOT of planning. I'll call and talk about the new attractions. I'll call and ask what restaurants they prefer... I even call and ask how they want to arrange groceries etc.

Last October, we had 12 in a GV at OKW. We were 3 family groups, and we did a LOT of pre-planning! Gotta keep it in mind, you know! I knew that 2 of the families were on a tight budget, so we planned to do a lot of meals in the villa. We decided that each family group would handle a day. That left 2 days of "general food" fare, and one of those days they took us out to dinner as a thanks, for the trip. Because there were food allergies to work around etc, there had to be a fair amount of communication. I never once feared that any of them would back out, and infact, we added 2 people close to the end of the planning stage. Make the trip something to REALLY look forward to...Not just park planning, but VACATION planning.