Who will be watching Emily Maynard the Bachelorette? No Spoilers PLEASE

[kimmar067]

Why in God's name are Kalon's lips so red and shiny??

....well, what ELSE goes with a plastic face?

 

[phorsenuf]

Just finished watching a little bit ago. I think she should just go with Ari (sp?) and ship the rest off. I see the most chemistry there.

 

[kimmar067]

Just finished watching a little bit ago. I think she should just go with Ari (sp?) and ship the rest off. I see the most chemistry there.

....I. like. him. too.

 

[Robinrs]

....meh......he just doesn't do it for me....must be the lack of thick eyebrows, eh Robin?

Sorry, I didn't notice he HAD a face...

Love me some BICEPS, too!!

 

[starann]

The 3rd cousin guy, who Emily had leave early....I honestly think it WAS a language barrier...he called Emily and Ricki a 'compromise' and later said he is a gypsy, he has no compromises' I think he meant 'commitments' and used the words interchangably.....either way, he had to go!

I like Ari and Sean and the guy who has the 11yo son.

Ken...aka, plastic face...aka Kalon needs to go

Ryan is a player and needs to go

 

[Imzadi]

Sorry, I think he was back pedalling a bit when the women reacted to his remark but the underlying deal is he pointed out that his love was conditional. I wouldn't want to be with ANYONE who put conditions on love because they reflect many things, not just "fitness". If you hook up with a visual person and you don't remain what is his "ideal" ... and face it, that ideal disappears with age, a baby, and a biscuit... his eyes will find his ideal elsewhere.

NO WAY would I want to be with a jerk like that. Been there, DONE that.

I hate to break it to you, but we, almost all, put conditions on love. I had a huge debate for HOURS with the friend/mentor who broke this realization to me. But, yes, for the most part, we put conditions on love, even if we don't realize it, or say we don't.

After that huge debate, YES, I realized I have conditions on love. I make no excuses. MY conditions are: I won't stay for abuse. A guy even thinks about taking a swing at me, I out of there. BTDT. The guy cheats on me, knowingly breaks my heart and is unfaithful, I will make Lorena Bobbit like like an amateur. A guy lies, embezzles funds from me, whatever, I will make mincemeat out of him.

Other examples of conditional love: the unabomber, Ted Kaczynski's own brother turned him in. Parents have turned in their owns sons for murder or drug peddling. Wives have testified against their husbands for incesting their child. Parents have turned their children out on the streets and booted them off the couch, disowning them for being stay-at-home deadbeats, who stole from them over and over, using them. While on the one hand, all these people still love the respective people, their love IS conditional.

Even a dog that has been beaten over & over again will run if he gets the chance and live with someone else who treats him better. The ones that stay may end up getting killed. As well as some people who have loved "unconditionally," to their own detriment. How many wives & children stayed until the police removed their dead bodies? How many of these wives' bodies were found in front of their children, trying to protect them till the end, because they loved their husbands unconditionally. I work with abused women. I can tell you many stories about these women who loved UN conditionally. These are the lucky ones who made it out. And they are now being taught to have healthy, safe, respectful conditions put on their love.

And if your own "unconditional love" doesn't/shouldn't contain some GOOD conditions, maybe you (general you) had better rethink your love. Unconditional love is great in concept, but if the people you love don't have good conditions on their love, like, "I will treat my spouse/parent/child/pet/society fairly, equally, with honesty, kindness & integrity, etc.," and yo don't yourself, then you may be not loving YOURSELF & your child enough to do what's right & best. Love isn't about letting yourself be used/abused like a doormat. Then there is the whole concept of "Tough Love," also about loving someone dearly, but setting conditions. Sometimes, conditions are the right thing, the healthy thing to do and have.

Bernard Madoff's wife stuck by him with her "unconditional love." What that got her is one dead child, by suicide, disowned by her other children, reviled by society, hiding from the public for life because she screwed certain people from getting back billions, by hiding the money. Yeah, she made out okay. NOT!

Rick has stated one of his conditions, not in the most eloquent of ways. But, I think the women surprised him & backed him in a corner and he had to state it before he could find better wording. YES, it's better for Emily to know now, if she thinks she may be the type to let herself go later, (not due to illness, circumstances, etc.,) but may have that kind of tendency or does not SHARE his VALUES. It's like a Catholic person saying that it's okay for them to marry Jewish person (or person of another faith,) that they love unconditionally, then later realizing it's NOT okay for them. That they really need someone of the same values & faith.

. . . Okay, getting off my soapbox now.

Can you tell I have a real bug about this?

 

[Robinrs]

I hate to break it to you, but we, almost all, put conditions on love. I had a huge debate for HOURS with the friend/mentor who broke this realization to me. But, yes, for the most part, we put conditions on love, even if we don't realize it, or say we don't.

After that huge debate, YES, I realized I have conditions on love. I make no excuses. MY conditions are: I won't stay for abuse. A guy even thinks about taking a swing at me, I out of there. BTDT. The guy cheats on me, knowingly breaks my heart and is unfaithful, I will make Lorena Bobbit like like an amateur. A guy lies, embezzles funds from me, whatever, I will make mincemeat out of him.

Other examples of conditional love: the unabomber, Ted Kaczynski's own brother turned him in. Parents have turned in their owns sons for murder or drug peddling. Wives have testified against their husbands for incesting their child. Parents have turned their children out on the streets and booted them off the couch, disowning them for being stay-at-home deadbeats, who stole from them over and over, using them. While on the one hand, all these people still love the respective people, their love IS conditional.

Even a dog that has been beaten over & over again will run if he gets the chance and live with someone else who treats him better. The ones that stay may end up getting killed. As well as some people who have loved "unconditionally," to their own detriment. How many wives & children stayed until the police removed their dead bodies? How many of these wives' bodies were found in front of their children, trying to protect them till the end, because they loved their husbands unconditionally. I work with abused women. I can tell you many stories about these women who loved UN conditionally. These are the lucky ones who made it out. And they are now being taught to have healthy, safe, respectful conditions put on their love.

And if your own "unconditional love" doesn't/shouldn't contain some GOOD conditions, maybe you (general you) had better rethink your love. Unconditional love is great in concept, but if the people you love don't have good conditions on their love, like, "I will treat my spouse/parent/child/pet/society fairly, equally, with honesty, kindness & integrity, etc.," and yo don't yourself, then you may be not loving YOURSELF & your child enough to do what's right & best. Love isn't about letting yourself be used/abused like a doormat. Then there is the whole concept of "Tough Love," also about loving someone dearly, but setting conditions. Sometimes, conditions are the right thing, the healthy thing to do and have.

Bernard Madoff's wife stuck by him with her "unconditional love." What that got her is one dead child, by suicide, disowned by her other children, reviled by society, hiding from the public for life because she screwed certain people from getting back billions, by hiding the money. Yeah, she made out okay. NOT!

Rick has stated one of his conditions, not in the most eloquent of ways. But, I think the women surprised him & backed him in a corner and he had to state it before he could find better wording. YES, it's better for Emily to know now, if she thinks she may be the type to let herself go later, (not due to illness, circumstances, etc.,) but may have that kind of tendency or does not SHARE his VALUES. It's like a Catholic person saying that it's okay for them to marry Jewish person (or person of another faith,) that they love unconditionally, then later realizing it's NOT okay for them. That they really need someone of the same values & faith.

. . . Okay, getting off my soapbox now.

Can you tell I have a real bug about this?

Imzadi:

I totally agree with everything you say, but it's not my point.

I know we all have conditions -- but on looks... NO. That's a sign of character, not conviction. And it's not the kind of character I would prefer so there goes my condition!!

Abuse and getting fat...two entirely different things. I would NEVER marry a non Christian, that's a condition. But a Christian who demands I don't cut my hair? NO, that's just a sign of a visual shallow person, not for me.

Like Dr Laura used to say, the 4 A's matter, Adultery, Abuse and Abandonment and Addition. I would consider all of those points and your points more than "conditions".

This bugs ME, too. I had several men who put those conditions ON ME. I came to realize they wanted me as a trophy and not a companion. One told me "you make ME look good"... Not a good basis for a relationship.

These kind of men will move on to the next thing in a second the minute you don't represent what they want. Happens every day. I want what my Mom had, a man who sees you from the inside out and loves you no matter what you LOOK like. Sixty years, this was how I was brought up and what I respect and expect.

We cool???

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I'm glad Emily sent the 3rd cousin guy packing. BUT not because of his feelings towards accepting her child, but because he had an affair and openly admitted it like it was no big thing.

I guess I like Arie the most so far.

I find Emily to be rather boring to tell you the truth.

...I would be freaking out if I had a private concert with Dolly Parton. That was truly amazing. She looks FANTASTIC!

 

[Imzadi]

Imzadi:

I totally agree with everything you say, but it's not my point.

I know we all have conditions -- but on looks... NO. That's a sign of character, not conviction. And it's not the kind of character I would prefer so there goes my condition!!

Abuse and getting fat...two entirely different things. I would NEVER marry a non Christian, that's a condition. But a Christian who demands I don't cut my hair? NO, that's just a sign of a visual shallow person, not for me.

Like Dr Laura used to say, the 4 A's matter, Adultery, Abuse and Abandonment and Addition. I would consider all of those points and your points more than "conditions".

This bugs ME, too. I had several men who put those conditions ON ME. I came to realize they wanted me as a trophy and not a companion. One told me "you make ME look good"... Not a good basis for a relationship.

These kind of men will move on to the next thing in a second the minute you don't represent what they want. Happens every day. I want what my Mom had, a man who sees you from the inside out and loves you no matter what you LOOK like. Sixty years, this was how I was brought up and what I respect and expect.

We cool???

I disagree. It's NOT about looks. If Ryan was ANY other profession than a sports & fitness TRAINER, I'd say it is about looks. It's about Emily letting herself go. (Assuming she does it voluntarily, and because of illness or circumstances.) It would be about her core values becoming different than his. To him, who so appreciates health, fitness, movement, vitality of life, it would be as though she were SELF-abusing herself. (Also one of my conditions.) That she'd stuff herself with unhealthy foods, choose to lay around on the couch, choose sloth over movement, choose to be a negative role of self-loving and fitness & vitality for their children, would be out of alignment with his ideals. (NOT saying that every pooh size person is like that.)

It would be like if a Christian minister's wife, who was an integral part of his church, his teachings, their church community for decades, suddenly went off and decided to become Moslem (or some other non-Christian faith,) and comes back and lives clearly different values. It would be the same as some health-conscious, holistic doctor, who's into ageing naturally & gracefully, like Dr. Andrew Weil's wife (if he has one,) suddenly going out and getting a bunch of plastic surgeries like Heidi Montag. It's ultimately not about looks. It's something deeper: shared values.

Notice, I'm not sticking up for Third Cousin guy. I think it's more than a language problem with him, not being able to state himself well. Even with the examples he did state, his intonation was off. Yes, he may be willing to include Emily & her daughter into his life now and may MAKE the necessary compromises. But, I heard a subtle annoyance at having to compromise which would ultimately be their undoing.

I didn't hear that kind of thing with Ryan. I heard a guy stumbling for words. Who admitted he'd have a problem with a wife not taking care of herself. And if he had the where withal to have added the sentence: "But, I'm a fitness trainer, so, yes, I admit having a wife who doesn't share those same kind of values & goals, would bother me. I'd still love you, because ultimately, love is more than that ONE aspect of how you look, but, yes, as one who values and HELPS people to have their strongest, fittest bodies, I may not be as physically attracted to you."

Someone like Cathy Rigby, Serena Williams, (insert some Olympic athlete,) who intends to remain fit & healthy long after her Olympic life is over wouldn't have a problem with what he said. As she'd have the same values for HERself. And she'd probably say, "Good, because I'm holding you to the same values, that you don't let yourself go, as I value fitness."

I think we have to be careful about what we'd like to hear a person say, i.e., "Of course, I will always love you unconditionally," versus the reality of what the situation will most likely really be if that happens. It may look like it's about looks, but one person who values fitness, health & vitality with a person who stops valuing those things are not on the same page.


Other than that, you & I are always cool with each other.

 

[Ride Junkie]

What IS up with Kalon's weird shiny lips?? I also find it funny that last week he was bragging about being the youngest one there...yet on last night's show, there were 5 guys that were younger than him.

I had no idea that being a racecar driver qualified you as a "dainty man". Whatever, Ryan. He is starting to remind me of Justin "Rated R" from Ali's season.

Looks like the current frontrunners might be Arie and Sean.

My favorite parts of this season so far are when they show Emily with her daughter. I have a little girl too, and I just love seeing them together. So sweet.

 

[emer95]

I didn't hear what Ryan said to Emily in front of her friends. I got the gist of it, but I kept rewinding and I still couldn't understand him. He was being a low-talker. Does anyone know what he said exactly?
He seems to be one to worry about!

Kalon... just go please. I am shocked that she kept him. Those shiny lips are so distracting. It's like every time the camera is on him, he yells, "Wait- hold on!" and rubs lip gloss on. No one's lips are that glossy on their own, nor should they be. Plus, if he'll say that to her... "I wish you would let me finish." with the cameras on him, what will he be like behind closed doors? He seems to have a bit of a mommy complex, too.

 

[Imzadi]

I didn't hear what Ryan said to Emily in front of her friends. I got the gist of it, but I kept rewinding and I still couldn't understand him. He was being a low-talker. Does anyone know what he said exactly?
He seems to be one to worry about!

Kalon... just go please. I am shocked that she kept him. Those shiny lips are so distracting. It's like every time the camera is on him, he yells, "Wait- hold on!" and rubs lip gloss on. No one's lips are that glossy on their own, nor should they be. Plus, if he'll say that to her... "I wish you would let me finish." with the cameras on him, what will he be like behind closed doors? He seems to have a bit of a mommy complex, too.

Did you see the way Emily puckered up her own lips when Kalon said, "I wish you would let me finish?" I'm pretty sure she does not want another re-play of the temper tantrums & control issues she had with Brad. She was probably told to keep him.

 

[3Paige14]

I liked Arie before the show now I like him even more. His parents (I was an Arie Sr. fan long ago) raised a gentleman.

Don't like Ryan. Don't like Kalon.

 

[sms]

I watched last night but I must have missed the part about the egg. What happened???

 

[amy-momofthree]

I really like Sean the best for her. I just wish they had a little more chemistry together

I didn't think Ryan was too interested in her life (cookie making date).

I think she likes Jef way more than he likes her.

I like Doug, seems like a sweet guy.

I wish we had seen more of Charlie, I liked him last week.

Arie is hot, but I don't trust him? Can't put my finger on it.

Chris = no chemistry

 

[Ride Junkie]

I watched last night but I must have missed the part about the egg. What happened???

Following the advice of Emily’s friends, Travis let Emily smash "Shelly" the egg on the front walkway. The bachelors toasted to her memory. RIP Shelly. So funny!

 

[MagicallyDelicious]

I can't stand Kaylon.

Not only do I not like him on the Bachelorette, I'm in the middle of reading 50 Shades of Grey, and now in my mind's eye, I see him as Christian Grey.

 

[Robinrs]

I really like Sean the best for her. I just wish they had a little more chemistry together

I didn't think Ryan was too interested in her life (cookie making date).

I think she likes Jef way more than he likes her.

I like Doug, seems like a sweet guy.

I wish we had seen more of Charlie, I liked him last week.

Arie is hot, but I don't trust him? Can't put my finger on it.

Chris = no chemistry

I agree about Arie, something about him is too "pat". Says all the right things, does all the right things, something about him is not genuine.

 

[Robinrs]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5wqJ5Ae4-c

Cooool vid of Emily meeting the bachelors!! Stevie's part is HYSTERICAL!

 

[lillygator]

Kaylon with the glasses looked like the talented mr ripley....dont care for him!