Thanks guys for all the encouragement! I wished I would have written here last night because it felt better admitting I felt vulnerable. I probably would not have eaten potato salad!!!
Today - mtg went ok. Dad was better and I almost took out the physical therapy person. I need to get into boxing.
Lynn, the Physical Therapy person, was talking about her wanting my Dad to be more consistent with time at the gym there for re-hab.
We all agreed, and I asked if they work on falling situations so he would know how to fall appropriately and safely.
She laughed at me and said, "Fall safely?" In a snide tone.
I went from 0- to 120 in 2 seconds.
I said, "Yes fall safely because there has been 2 situations in the past 2 weeks where he has fallen, yesterday being the worst. There is right and wrong ways to fall out of a wheelchair if you can help it, or roll when you are falling so you do not hurt your wrists, for him to protect his stump, etc."
"Even falling when he is using a walker and could trip, he needs to know how he should fall given uneven terrain or what he should do in water should he fall in. Does he ditch the prosthetic when he has one? Is he better using his arms and not counting on his legs etc."
Lynn, then starts looking at me like I am an idiot. "There is no water around here I believe minus the drinking fountain so I do not believe it is realistic to think he will fall in water. Second of all, the wheelchair he has is fine for smooth areas so he will not need to worry about it."
I said, "Hate to tell you this Lynn but yesterday if he would have dumped left or right as we were on a walking bridge, he would have been in the water and I thought the purpose was to transition him into normal life. So he will be at soccer fields, rugby fields, parks, etc., where he will need stability or more than knowledge on how to walk in the home."
All she said was, "Can I ask where the water was?"
Like she did not believe me.
So I told her where we were, and then she said in a total, snot filled teenage attitude voice, "So do I have permission to dump you out of your wheelchair so you can practice falling?"
I lost my nut at that moment.
Literally, I leaned forward in my chair, had one of those out of body, light headed moments and explained that maybe he does not like physical therapy because she is not meant to work with people. That maybe she should have a job pushing papers because any therapist worth their weight will understand motivation of people and that having a negative attitude towards an adult is not going to produce positive results. That telling him he needs to go to therapy is about the "why." And then when you have his kids telling you his drive, what he needs to motivate himself past this point is a life outside of the confines of his room he spends 90% of his day in, and you laugh and dismiss it like they are stupid and so is he, that she is lucky she doesn't have someone waiting outside for her in the parking lot.
I told her if she ever threatened him again, I would not worry about taking her license away, I would worry about her breathing through a straw.
I tell you what. It made me mad and it made me feel better. All the sense of helplessness I felt yesterday went raging through me and I was not going to let her take away his dignity or any hope for a different future.
She said, "I did not mean to be disrespectful, and then she left a few minutes later.
The social worker and the head RN stayed and we decided therapy at 2 pm 6 times a week and start over from here. I know they spoke with her after I left.
My sister was in the room (the social worker not the PITA youngest one) and she starts laughing when we got my Dad back in his room.
She goes, "Your eyes were seriously scary and I thought you meant you were going to beat the fruitcake out of her."
I said, "she dumps him out of his wheelchair and I will."
So, adrenaline is pumping and I feel better!
I am normally even keeled but that cage fighter just wanted to come out.
I will say - I held quiet for about 10 minutes before I lost it.
I am actually glad I have the weight I have in this situation. I don't think if I had been 125 it would have been as intimidating!
The best is - I had made shirts for our last trip and I was wearing mine. Don't want to spoil everything for those reading the TR but on the back, it says, "I am going to beat your pancreas with your spleen!" from Bolt.
Please don't worry about us so much. If a few days go by without the big posting - no biggie. Life happens and you have a lot to deal with. I know I don't sweat it so much. And forgive yourself for the eating. I would have eaten my weight in pizza and chips in your shoes. It's ok. Despite the fact that most times I think of you as superhuman, you still have human tendencies. We are all here for you and together, we can get through anything.
Who knew??!
) because she always gets sick during the time for fall allergies and the time for spring allergies and I used to do the same thing. 
)
We're happy you decided to join us! I've gained a lot of wisdom and laughed quite a lot with this group. They are also very supportive when things get rough.
