I got married 23 years ago, spent about $2500 total, and that includes everything. We paid for tux rental and paid for the bridesmaid dresses even. It was the wedding I wanted, and I can't imagine anything I would have spent $25,000 or $50,000 for.
My partner at work got married 1 1/2 years ago, and her wedding came in at about $4,000, and her's was very similiar to mine. The third juvenile officer is going to get married today, in about 5 hours. She and her fiance decided, since it's a second marriage, to go to Gatlinburg alone to get married in a chapel there. They'll spend the weekend there as a honeymoon and be back to work on Tuesday, after the holiday.
Anyway, my wedding was held at the church were my maternal grandparents attended. Both were already dead by the time I got married, but I used to go there at times with my Mamaw when I was a kid. My grandfather was the elder in charge of the building fund that built the church, so that was my way of having them there.
My husband's great-uncle officiated. He was already 77 years old at the time. (He just turned 100 this last Monday, the same day our DD turned 18.) During the ceremony, he told stories about DH and I. I was his papergirl when I was young, and only lived a couple miles from him.
I was in a bridal shop looking at dresses, when another customer said that the JCPenney outlet in Columbus, OH, had bridesmaid dresses similar to that we were looking at. She suggested, if we had time, to go over there to check them out. I'm glad we did. I was able to find the almost exact dress for $10 each. That's a one and a zero, $10. The only difference is that the hemline was dipped up in the front on the JCPenney dress and not straight across like the bridal shop dress. I liked the JCPenney hemline better.
I also found my wedding gown there. Lots of frills, completely beautiful, and a lot less than the same dress at the bridal shop. It will get worn again, I hope. I had it boxed at the Dry Cleaners so that a future daughter could possibly wear it someday. She's only 18, so it will probably be at least 8 years before she'll made that decision.
The dresses needed minor alterations, so my ex-boyfriend's sister took care of those for me as gift of love. She was wonderful. She did all the flowers for me, as well as pew bows, centerpieces, etc. I just had to pay for supplies. (She said she decided she was going to do my wedding when I dated her brother. She said, even though I married someone else, she still loved me and wanted to do my wedding. The funny thing is that she and my husband have an aunt and uncle in common. Her mom's sister is married to my MIL's brother, so it's still family.) My favorite aunt also did a lot to help with the decorating and making sure that everything was done that needed to be done.
DH's cousin played the organ, and his distant cousin (the great-uncle's granddaughter) sang several songs during the ceremony.
For the reception, we had it in the church's family center. At the time, at least around here, very few people had meals at weddings. Mainly, it was punch, cake, and light hors d'oerves. A friend made the cakes, using a design I came up with from going through cake decorating magazines and bridal magazines. I had a 3 tier traditional cake on a riser, with 5 smaller cakes attached with ribbons. The smaller cakes were various flavors, since I am not a big fan of white cake.
I had to have so much cake since I had about 250 people there. A lot of them also came to the rehearsal the night before to watch, and stayed for the rehearsal dinner. It was a great party, and a great chance to sit and visit, something DH and I would not have had the time to do on the actual wedding day. His cousins on his dad's side catered the rehearsal dinner. The Umphress women can cook! It was delicious!
A friend's dad had a business as a videographer, so her present to us was the wedding videotape. An art teacher from my high school was a photographer on the side. He gave me the rolls of film to have developed, so I could get the proofs and order the shots I wanted at a lower cost. He later became my daughter's photography teacher in high school when he came out of retirement to cover for the current teacher who was on a long medical leave.
DH's brother has two daughters and one step-daughter, who's mother had died by the time she finally convinced someone to marry her. She insisted, and my BIL went along with it, having a $30,000 wedding at a church she didn't even attend. He spent 10 years paying off that wedding. She had been on her own for 10 years, had lived with 4 different men, and still wanted the whole white dress wedding, paid for my someone who wasn't even her father. Her father wouldn't pay all that since she had lived with so many guys. Wanna guess how happy her marriage turned out?
Because their half-sister had that kind of wedding, my two nieces also decided they needed an expensive wedding, and they each opted for one that cost $15,000. One niece made, at the time she got married, $25,000 a year more than her father, and she still insisted he pay for everything. Wow.
I could not imagine spending that much money on one day, when I could use that money to be happy and comfortable for years and years. $10,000, $15,000, $20,000, that would be a nice down payment on a house, or a car, or a trip around the world.
Oh, my partner at work that had the wedding similar to mine? They bought a house with the money instead. It's definitely not a starter home. It's one they can be comfortable in for years, with plenty of room for kids.
I think sometimes people forget to plan for the marriage when they are planning for the wedding day.
