The teacher should "just say no thank you", right?

[Boxley]

I know many parents who don't care what is going on at school, sorry Im one that does.

Oh Please

So what? The teacher got a free ticket. According to the OP, the little girl is smart. If the little girl did badly during the school year and suddenly her grades shot up when the teacher got those tickets, then there is reason to complain, but guess what? That doesn't seem to be happening here. I don't care what the other parents do, give or whatever for Christmas, my main concern is my kid and making sure he gets the highest education as possible. This free ticket doesn't measure into anything. Also, once again this seems to be the basis of what the kids are saying.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know many parents who don't care what is going on at school, sorry Im one that does. That will never change for as long as my kids attend those schools. I am a parent who is at every party all year since dd13 started school. I am friendly with many parents and the teachers there. If anyone is laughing, so be it. Im the parent that cares whats going on.

BTW- I am a parent who cares and is up at school weekly and very active in the PTA as well as keeping up with the BOE as well. Since I am active I think there are bigger fish to fry and to be honest- if I could afford a very large gift for my teachers I would buy it because I think they deserve it.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Nope, I disagree IN THIS SITUATION WHERE THE ? ISN'T ABOUT ME OR MY CHILD DIRECTLY, I WOULD GO TO THE PRINCIPAL...Its not my business to question a teacher about her comings and goings about or involving another child, ONLY MY OWN WOULD I DISCUSS WITH HER! Even if I did go to the teacher first, I wouldn't want the teacher to discuss personal issues with another parent about me or my child. What goes on between me, my dc and our teacher is between us only. Another parent imo, has no right to go to the teacher and ask questions about me, dc and the teacher involvings.
That is why I would ask the principal to investigate or answer my ?.

So, you are saying you have no problem making false accusations about a teacher when it does not involve your child at all without so much as a shred of truth? Only on what you have "heard?"

Again, it is the most basic of conflict resolution to address an issue you have with somebody with that person first.

Our kids learn that in their classrooms. They are to talk it out with their peers before they go to the teacher. Too bad some parents haven't embraced this skill.

You can pretty it up all you want by saying you just want the principal to investigate, but what you are actually doing is making false accusations against another person without getting any facts first. There is nothing innocent about it at all.

It is absolutely your business and your responsibility to verify facts before making false accusations.

 

[mickeyboat]

I care about what's going on in my daughters' school, but I would not make an issue out of something that was not hurting anyone.

I have rarely gone to the office, the principal or the superintendent about a problem - but the few times I have are because of a safety issue, not because I thought a teacher might be doing something unfair.

It's my job to be a partner in my daughters' educations - not to police their teachers.

ETA - Don't assume that because I would not tattle on a teacher about something that is not illegal or hurting anyone (gee, I think that's probably the rule at school for the kids), that I don't know or care what is going on at school and / or that I am not involved at the school.

 

[mefordis]

Yeah, people read selectively. By the way, MYOB can be applied to a huge % of posts on the community board.

The OP was asking for opinions, not whether or not he should report it. It seems a little unscrupulous and unprofessional on the teacher's part to accept such expensive gifts.

By the way, here is what the OP said:

I'm not gonna rat the teacher out or anything. Nor do I think it his hurting my daughter in anyway, but IMO, it just doesn't seem fair. I would have thought that the school would have a very specific policy against this.

Nope. The girl is 9. The teacher's daughter is 6.

BTW, I love the way so many people think I planned to do something when I SPECIFICALLY said, I have no interest in turning the teacher in. I do, think it is inappropriate to accept them, though...

 

[clovergirl5]

But we don't have all the facts. We have a few kids telling parents what they saw. That is why you ask the teacher first, if you have to ask anyone. Kids don't always understand everything that is going on. I'm sure any teacher here could tell stories about what kids tell them about what goes on at home, and parents could do the same. Now if the teacher doesn't answer, then I go to the principal. Then they can investigate.
Asking the principal questions about HINI is totally different--the principal would be the one I would ask in that situation.

Yes, I agree but the teacher will tell you what is going on between them and another child/parent? I don't think so. And if they do speak about private stuff going on between me and the teacher...I think thats wrong. Isn't there such a thing as teacher/student/parent confidentiality ?

 

[Boxley]

Yeah, people read selectively. By the way, MYOB can be applied to a huge % of posts on the community board.

The OP was asking for opinions, not whether or not he should report it. It seems a little unscrupulous and unprofessional on the teacher's part to accept such expensive gifts.

Well, then there is this, what if the posters had told the OP that it was wrong, say something, do you think he would sit on his hands? It seems that the great amount of % is basically saying, its no big deal whatever happens just stay out of it.

 

[hentob]

Yes, I agree but the teacher will tell you what is going on between them and another child/parent? I don't think so.

Do you know why? Because it is NONE of your business

 

[Scurvy]

I care about what's going on in my daughters' school, but I would not make an issue out of something that was not hurting anyone.

I have rarely gone to the office, the principal or the superintendent about a problem - but the few times I have are because of a safety issue, not because I thought a teacher might be doing something unfair.

It's my job to be a partner in my daughters' educations - not to police their teachers.

ETA - Don't assume that because I would not tattle on a teacher about something that is not illegal or hurting anyone (gee, I think that's probably the rule at school for the kids), that I don't know or care what is going on at school and / or that I am not involved at the school).

I wish all parents were focused on their own kids rather than worrying about what's going on with everyone else. If it doesn't involve your child, it really isn't your business.

 

[declansdad]

Um, most certainly! Like I said, if theres nothing to hide and the whole thing is innocent, whats the big deal if the principle investigates? If there is a gift rule, than that teacher could be possibly breaking that rule. And I would NOT go to the teacher because it isn't my place to confront them about someone elses issue or problem, their supperior needs to do that. If I had an issue personally with our teacher, than I would confront them. Jmo and thats how I would handle it if this was happening at my dc school. And yes, I have contacted the principle and super many times over the last 9 yrs. I have every right to talk to any of them about any concerns I have. Usually I will go right to the principle. He is more than happy to talk to me and get the issues, whatever it might be, straightened out.
Actually, he might even know what the situation is that I am asking about and let me know. I am speaking of a principal who knows every kid in the school and knows who each of the parents are. He makes us feel like we can come to him for any ? Not a principal who is locked away in an office all day and you don't ever see him or know who he is. He is always helping with the teachers or kids anywhere he can. I guess as a parent, I feel very comfortable talking to him about concerns or issues with anything pertaining to school. I have never felt like I SHOULDN'T ask him, or ask someone before him.

I would like to know what the other teachers are saying or thinking? They must know about it if the teacher with tickets talk about it with other teachers.

In this case it wouldn't be your problem. By going to the principal or superintendent, you are causing problems for that teacher regardless.

I would be willing to bet the principal is not all that happy to see you coming but does know what it takes to appease you.

 

[glitterkittyy]

We deal with this a lot because of hubby being a CM. We often give our free tickets to someone who loves Disney and is working hard. Last year we gave them to my DD's 3rd grade teacher because he and his wife were huge Disney fans. It never even occurred to me that it was questionable ethically. I get what the OP is saying and how it can look, but perhaps the parents are like us. We figure if we can't use the tickets (we don't need them), we can give them to someone who can.

 

[clovergirl5]

No I really wouldn't care what anyone gave the teacher. They could buy her a house for all I care. As long as my child is having a great year and is learning all they need to know then it is none of my business. Should every parent have to present a list to the class of every gift they give the teachers? It is simply none of anyone's business. You also can't just mail something to a teacher's home because they don't hand out their home addresses.
As for an investigation I think that is ridiculous. They are talking about cutting school budgets all over the place and investigating the alleged giving of concert tickets should be the least of their concerns. Who cares!

I think the OP is jealous. Plain and simple. If it was his kid giving the gift he would be going on and on and on about how he was just showing his appreciation for the teacher and that his kid is the pet of the class. I also think that any adult that has to question someone else's kid needs help and is completely out of line. I would not let my child be around someone like that. YMMV.

No I don't care about any gift given to a teacher, but if its being given as a bribe, thats different. That is why I would want it to be investigated An expensive gift? Isn't that why some schools have a gift rule? Just want to add that as far as I know, our school doesn't have that rule. I have only heard of that from the pp.

 

[hentob]

I wish all parents were focused on their own kids rather than worrying about what's going on with everyone else. If it doesn't involve your child, it really isn't your business.

Unless a child is being hurt, this is so true.

 

[Scurvy]

Unless a child is being hurt, this is so true.

You're right - if a child is being hurt then it's always appropriate to step in.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Um, most certainly! Like I said, if theres nothing to hide and the whole thing is innocent, whats the big deal if the principle investigates? If there is a gift rule, than that teacher could be possibly breaking that rule. And I would NOT go to the teacher because it isn't my place to confront them about someone elses issue or problem, their supperior needs to do that. If I had an issue personally with our teacher, than I would confront them. Jmo and thats how I would handle it if this was happening at my dc school. And yes, I have contacted the principle and super many times over the last 9 yrs. I have every right to talk to any of them about any concerns I have. Usually I will go right to the principle. He is more than happy to talk to me and get the issues, whatever it might be, straightened out.
Actually, he might even know what the situation is that I am asking about and let me know. I am speaking of a principal who knows every kid in the school and knows who each of the parents are. He makes us feel like we can come to him for any ? Not a principal who is locked away in an office all day and you don't ever see him or know who he is. He is always helping with the teachers or kids anywhere he can. I guess as a parent, I feel very comfortable talking to him about concerns or issues with anything pertaining to school. I have never felt like I SHOULDN'T ask him, or ask someone before him.

I would like to know what the other teachers are saying or thinking? They must know about it if the teacher with tickets talk about it with other teachers.

Wow
I feel sorry for the teachers who have to deal with parents like you.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

That is the point...the principal will investigate if this situation is breaking the rules. Why is it ok to let a teacher break rules (if that is the case here) whether it concerns me or not? Think about it!

1) It doesn't concern you.

2) It is your responsibility to make sure the teacher is actually breaking any rules before reporting him/her.

To make false reports without facts is so irresponsible I just can't wrap my head around it.

If you are afraid of conflict, then have your husband or a fellow parent ask the teacher.

There is nothing wrong with going up to teacher and saying "hey, there are rumors going around the grapevine that so-and-so's parents are giving you some tickets in front of the classroom and some parents are getting resentful. You know how rumors can be blown out of proportion, so could you tell us what is really going on?"

IF you find out that he/she is accepting gifts against school rules, then, and only then, should you go to the principal.

You never answered how you would feel if a fellow employee accused your husband of something based on rumor to his boss's boss without checking with your husband first if it was true.

What if it was the fellow employee's wife that contacted the boss - as you know, since it did not involve her husband, she didn't need to check it out first?

If your husband's boss's boss had to check out the rumors, do you still think it would be innocent when your husband has done no wrong? Or would your husband have been insulted and humiliated by being accused of such a thing? Would your innocent husband have been angry that this person, who wasn't even involved, went over his head, accusing him of something without verifying facts first?

 

[mefordis]

Well, then there is this, what if the posters had told the OP that it was wrong, say something, do you think he would sit on his hands? It seems that the great amount of % is basically saying, its no big deal whatever happens just stay out of it.

I'm sorry, I meant to say he was NOT asking opinions on whether or not he should report it.

Frankly, I wouldn't care all that much either if I thought the teacher was a good one, but if she stinks as a teacher AND is accepting expensive gifts, I would have to add that into the overall evaluation on what type of teacher she is.

Is this a young teacher, OP? My dd has a very good, experienced teacher who has been teaching for 30 years and I'm sure she would NEVER accept gifts of this value from a student.

 

[jrmasm]

No I don't care about any gift given to a teacher, but if its being given as a bribe, thats different. That is why I would want it to be investigated An expensive gift? Isn't that why some schools have a gift rule? Just want to add that as far as I know, our school doesn't have that rule. I have only heard of that from the pp.

Bribe a 4th grade teacher???

 

[Boxley]

Bribe a 4th grade teacher???

Got to get those gold stars

 

[mickeyboat]

Got to get those gold stars

No, it's to get "4s."