The teacher should "just say no thank you", right?

[leighe]

And that's why this is my last year teaching. Students are a joy. Some parents, on the other hand...

 

[C.Ann]

Yeah I'd have a BIG problem with another parent asking MY kid about something I allegedly did, no matter how good of friends our kids are. That is a big NO NO in my book.

I don't see how this is the OP's business.

Also, why are you grilling the kid? If you have any questions why not to go the Father and ask him?

I don't think we really know all the details here. This whole story is coming from some young kids and I know my kids sometimes get things more than a little wrong when they tell me their tales. I also wouldn't think very kindly of someone questioning my child..

I was thinking the exact same thing as you. Teachers pet? Unless you, the parent, have personally seen something that would lead you to believe this, then I wouldn't take the word of a 9 year old on it.


PD you are the adult here. Don't grill a young child on something that is none of your business. If this really upsets you then talk to the teacher. If your DD is getting a good education and the teacher is not taking it out on anyone because they aren't giving her gifts, then you really do need to MYOB on this one.

 

[clovergirl5]

I believe the rule of thumb is ask the teacher first. Then if the answer is fuzzy or you never get an answer, then talk to the principal. What if the kids have the situation wrong? Then you may be getting a teacher in trouble for no reason.

How is that getting the teacher in trouble? If they are not breaking any rules, whats the big deal about having the principal investigate or let me know, yeah..I know what you are talking about, this is what the situation is. The principle might know about the whole thing. I guess Im just comparing our principal who is very parent friendly.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Um, most certainly! Like I said, if theres nothing to hide and the whole thing is innocent, whats the big deal if the principle investigates? If there is a gift rule, than that teacher could be possibly breaking that rule. And I would NOT go to the teacher because it isn't my place to confront them about someone elses issue or problem, their supperior needs to do that. If I had an issue personally with our teacher, than I would confront them. Jmo and thats how I would handle it if this was happening at my dc school. And yes, I have contacted the principle and super many times over the last 9 yrs. I have every right to talk to any of them about any concerns I have. Usually I will go right to the principle. He is more than happy to talk to me and get the issues, whatever it might be, straightened out.

I would like to know what the other teachers are saying or thinking? They must know about it if the teacher with tickets talk about it with other teachers.

Wow, just wow.

You would go behind a teacher's back and talk to his/her boss or his/her boss's boss based on nothing more than a report by an 8 year old? And without asking the teacher first for details?

You don't do that in schools nor at work. You never go above somebody's head without addressing it with the person first, unless there is an immediate danger to yourself or your child. It is the most basic of conflict resolution skills.

Would you like it if some fellow employee's 8 year old kid accused your husband of something (about as relevant as having your nose stuck in some other kid's/parent's business) and this employee went straight to your husband's boss's boss without even asking your husband if it was true first?

Even if there is nothing to hide, you would arouse suspicion on the part of the boss for anything else the teacher or employee would in the future. False accusations are never innocent.

If you have a concern with a person, it is absolutely your responsibility to address it with them first.

 

[clovergirl5]

And that's why this is my last year teaching. Students are a joy. Some parents, on the other hand...

Well, I guess thats sad for you then. I am that parent who takes the poor, crying kids dropped off infront of the building after the morning bell rings, to the office because THEIR parent dropped them off and left! Its happened more than once too. Sorry if I want my dc teachers to be honest and practice what they are teaching my children. I guess Im one of those parents

 

[hentob]

....why does she give them to the teacher in school in front of other kids? I am sure that some of the kids probably don't like it.

Do you really think 6 year old children even care? They don't.

Parents on the other hand

That teacher is lucky Be happy for her

 

[mjkacmom]

How is that getting the teacher in trouble? If they are not breaking any rules, whats the big deal about having the principal investigate or let me know, yeah..I know what you are talking about, this is what the situation is. The principle might know about the whole thing. I guess Im just comparing our principal who is very parent friendly.

I never do this, but in most of your posts, you put PRINCIPLE, although you did spell it correctly once here. princiPAL - we were always taught, as kids, to remember the difference, because he or she is your PAL! You mention you've brought many issues to the principal without the teacher's knowledge - my oldest is 13, and I think I've met with her twice (and it's a smallish school, everyone knows everyone, she knows every child and parent...). Could you be THAT parent? I save my bullets for more major issues (and if you have that many major issues, I'd think about switching schools).

 

[leighe]

How is that getting the teacher in trouble? If they are not breaking any rules, whats the big deal about having the principal investigate or let me know, yeah..I know what you are talking about, this is what the situation is. The principle might know about the whole thing. I guess Im just comparing our principal who is very parent friendly.

Unless you have good evidence that this teacher getting tickets or whatever is somehow negatively impacting your child, I am at a complete loss as to how this could even be your business, much less something that needs to be brought to the attention of the principal or superintendent.

 

[clovergirl5]

Wow, just wow.

You would go behind a teacher's back and talk to his/her boss or his/her boss's boss based on nothing more than a report by an 8 year old? And without asking the teacher first for details?

You don't do that in schools nor at work. You never go above somebody's head without addressing it with the person first, unless there is an immediate danger to yourself or your child. It is the most basic of conflict resolution skills.

Would you like it if some fellow employee's 8 year old kid accused your husband of something (about as relevant as having your nose stuck in some other kid's/parent's business) and this employee went straight to your husband's boss's boss without even asking your husband if it was true first?

Even if there is nothing to hide, you would arouse suspicion on the part of the boss for anything else the teacher or employee would in the future. False accusations are never innocent.

If you have a concern with a person, it is absolutely your responsibility to address it with them first.

Nope, I disagree IN THIS SITUATION WHERE THE ? ISN'T ABOUT ME OR MY CHILD DIRECTLY, I WOULD GO TO THE PRINCIPAL...Its not my business to question a teacher about her comings and goings about or involving another child, ONLY MY OWN WOULD I DISCUSS WITH HER! Even if I did go to the teacher first, I wouldn't want the teacher to discuss personal issues with another parent about me or my child. What goes on between me, my dc and our teacher is between us only. Another parent imo, has no right to go to the teacher and ask questions about me, dc and the teacher involvings.
That is why I would ask the principal to investigate or answer my ?.

 

[hentob]

And yes, I have contacted the principle and super many times over the last 9 yrs.

Why so many times? Are there that many problems at your school that you need to contact your principal and superintendent "many times" over nine years?

I would like to know what the other teachers are saying or thinking?

Why?

 

[clovergirl5]

I never do this, but in most of your posts, you put PRINCIPLE, although you did spell it correctly once here. princiPAL - we were always taught, as kids, to remember the difference, because he or she is your PAL! You mention you've brought many issues to the principal without the teacher's knowledge - my oldest is 13, and I think I've met with her twice (and it's a smallish school, everyone knows everyone, she knows every child and parent...). Could you be THAT parent? I save my bullets for more major issues (and if you have that many major issues, I'd think about switching schools).

Sorry, I was typing fast And your point of that?

 

[hentob]

Its not my business to question a teacher about her comings and goings about or involving another child...

Well said. It is NOT your business at all.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I never do this, but in most of your posts, you put PRINCIPLE, although you did spell it correctly once here. princiPAL - we were always taught, as kids, to remember the difference, because he or she is your PAL! You mention you've brought many issues to the principal without the teacher's knowledge - my oldest is 13, and I think I've met with her twice (and it's a smallish school, everyone knows everyone, she knows every child and parent...). Could you be THAT parent? I save my bullets for more major issues (and if you have that many major issues, I'd think about switching schools).

The story about the boy who cries wolf comes to mind.

Not saying that any poster here is one of those parents as I don't know them at all, but we all know "those parents" who run tattle telling to the principal about every little thing, whether it is about their child or not.

The teachers and principals start avoiding them, they are the laughing stock in the teacher's lounge and they have lost all credibility of anything they report to the principal due to the constant reporting of trivial issues. If they ever tried to report something truly major, nobody would take them seriously.

 

[clovergirl5]

I never do this, but in most of your posts, you put PRINCIPLE, although you did spell it correctly once here. princiPAL - we were always taught, as kids, to remember the difference, because he or she is your PAL! You mention you've brought many issues to the principal without the teacher's knowledge - my oldest is 13, and I think I've met with her twice (and it's a smallish school, everyone knows everyone, she knows every child and parent...). Could you be THAT parent? I save my bullets for more major issues (and if you have that many major issues, I'd think about switching schools).

What the issue of some kid spitting on my dd that I brought to the principals attention or when I called because my dc lunch acct. was shorted, or how many kids are gone with h1n1 and when is school gonna close. Im glad he makes me and other parents feel comfortable calling him. Sorry you don't have that.

 

[MAKmom]

My daughters have a friend whose father works for a pro sports team. She is very bright. She seems to be a top student, I would guess. Well, her teacher is the same teacher as one of my daughter's teachers. And the teacher has a 6 year old daughter.

My kids told me last week that this girl has given the teacher tickets, so far, to see The Phillies, The Eagles, Taylor Swift and The Jonas Brothers. Two tickets to each of these events.

I drive this girl to CCD and asked the girl if she did give the teacher these tickets, and she said yes.

Now, given that this girl seems very bright, I don't imagine the teacher is giving her any help with grades. But my one daughter told me that this girl is definitely the "teacher's pet".

Personally, I like this teacher a lot, and she really likes my daughter, but this doesn't seem like it is a practice that should be accepted, do you? That's close to $800 worth of tickets just since September.

I'm not gonna rat the teacher out or anything. Nor do I think it his hurting my daughter in anyway, but IMO, it just doesn't seem fair. I would have thought that the school would have a very specific policy against this.

I see no problem with this. Why do you care?

 

[clovergirl5]

Unless you have good evidence that this teacher getting tickets or whatever is somehow negatively impacting your child, I am at a complete loss as to how this could even be your business, much less something that needs to be brought to the attention of the principal or superintendent.

That is the point...the principal will investigate if this situation is breaking the rules. Why is it ok to let a teacher break rules (if that is the case here) whether it concerns me or not? Think about it!

 

[clovergirl5]

I know many parents who don't care what is going on at school, sorry Im one that does. That will never change for as long as my kids attend those schools. I am a parent who is at every party all year since dd13 started school. I am friendly with many parents and the teachers there. If anyone is laughing, so be it. Im one of the parents who cares whats going on and I make no apologys for it. Some pp are probably the ones who don't know whats going on at school, thats sad not to be involved.

Im also the parent who stopped a kid from getting hit by a car in the crosswalk. Sorry, Im one of those parents

 

[Missy1961]

That is the point...the principal will investigate if this situation is breaking the rules. Why is it ok to let a teacher break rules (if that is the case here) whether it concerns me or not? Think about it!

But we don't have all the facts. We have a few kids telling parents what they saw. That is why you ask the teacher first, if you have to ask anyone. Kids don't always understand everything that is going on. I'm sure any teacher here could tell stories about what kids tell them about what goes on at home, and parents could do the same. Now if the teacher doesn't answer, then I go to the principal. Then they can investigate.

Asking the principal questions about HINI is totally different--the principal would be the one I would ask in that situation.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I agree with this....so for the posters who think its not a big deal...would a car or an expensive peice of jewelry be a big deal or would you not agree with that? There is a big difference in baked goods and concert tickets. Inappropriate and I would feel the same way as op. And to do it infront of the class? Why can't the parents just send them to the teacher in the mail to their home? There is a reason why its being done at school infront of the class??? Not right in my opinion. If I saw that, I would be talking to the superintendent to investigate. It can be done anonamously(sp).

No I really wouldn't care what anyone gave the teacher. They could buy her a house for all I care. As long as my child is having a great year and is learning all they need to know then it is none of my business. Should every parent have to present a list to the class of every gift they give the teachers? It is simply none of anyone's business. You also can't just mail something to a teacher's home because they don't hand out their home addresses.
As for an investigation I think that is ridiculous. They are talking about cutting school budgets all over the place and investigating the alleged giving of concert tickets should be the least of their concerns. Who cares!

I think the OP is jealous. Plain and simple. If it was his kid giving the gift he would be going on and on and on about how he was just showing his appreciation for the teacher and that his kid is the pet of the class. I also think that any adult that has to question someone else's kid needs help and is completely out of line. I would not let my child be around someone like that. YMMV.

 

[joyjoy]

Good grief. It's no big deal. I was the Sales Mgr at a radio station for many years and we always had tickets to not only the shows we were sponsoring (country) but WWE, Ballet, Monster Truck Shows, Disney on Ice, etc. The station is given a set number of tickets to give away. Most were given away on the air, some were given to employees, and LOTS went to teachers, babysitters, coaches, etc. Those tickets are not actually worth what others paid for similar tickets. They're for promotional use only and cannot be sold. I know someone who works for Coca-Cola and often gives her kids' teachers product or promotional items. If I get something free at my job and I want to share it with the one person who spends as much time with my kid as the teacher does... I'm sharing. And I'd be totally pissed if I found out some nosey parent was quizzing my child about it. I'm just trying to be nice, it has nothing to do with you, your kid or the rest of the class.