The teacher should "just say no thank you", right?

[clovergirl5]

Sorry- some parents are busybodies. You know- the ones who keep a torch in their back pocket so they can go to the principal and superintendant for every little thing they observe. Of course they go under the guise of being a "concerned parent" when really they are just nitpickers that make the admin roll their eyes when they see the torch coming. They have them in every school.

And none of you know me, but continue to call me nosey and refer me as one of these parents. I am not one of these parents.

 

[leighe]

Parents are considered busybodies now...thats sad!

Parents who go to the superintendent or principal over something that concerns neither them nor their child are busybodies.

 

[clovergirl5]

Parents who go to the superintendent or principal over something that concerns neither them nor their child are busybodies.

Not true...That is one blanket statement.
You should be encouraged to talk to the teachers, principals or supers for whatever concern you have. This is your school for YOUR children. Don't you want a say or knowledge about whats going on it them?

 

[Heidict]

And none of you know me, but continue to call me nosey and refer me as one of these parents. I am not one of these parents.

Okay, but understand that this is the way you are coming across in this thread. Saying that you call the principal over every little thing. That you would run to the principal over something that does not concern you or your child in the least. Being involved is one thing, and as parents we all should be. But from your posts, all I can think is "duck before I get hit by the blades".

 

[sbsteel]

Parents who go to the superintendent or principal over something that concerns neither them nor their child are busybodies.

Word.

 

[clovergirl5]

Okay, but understand that this is the way you are coming across in this thread. Saying that you call the principal over every little thing. That you would run to the principal over something that does not concern you or your child in the least. Being involved is one thing, and as parents we all should be. But from your posts, all I can think is "duck before I get hit by the blades".

Really, I said that? Theres that ugly thing called PRESUMPTION again. It seems to running rampant here!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Parents are considered busybodies now...thats sad!

There is a HUGE difference between involved parents and busybodies who feel it necessary to run to the principal for everything they suspect, even when it has absolutely no bearing on them or their children.

In every school, the majority are the involved parents, whom the teachers love.

Then there are a small amount of parents on either side of the bell curve who either don't care at all about their kids and on the other end, the over-involved, self-appointed far-beyond-helicopter parents who think their sole job is to police the school and teachers.

When these parents start to impede learning and the flow of the school, then rules like no volunteers have to be implemented.

It is sad for those parents that have a true interest in their child's education to have it ruined by the busybodies.

 

[clovergirl5]

Word.

Thank god for BUSYBODY parents. Because some things aren't so trivial. Thank god for the ones who who complain about bullying and kids having stuff that they shouldn't at school. Thank god for the ones who care enough and aren't to busy or are bullied by other parents not to speak up.

 

[sbsteel]

Really, I said that? Theres that ugly thing called PRESUMPTION again. It seems to running rampant here!

Yes, you did - pulled for your reference and quoted below.

And yes, I have contacted the principle and super many times over the last 9 yrs..

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I agree that in this case, IF the tickets are being GIVEN to the teacher, She should say "thanks, but no thanks." It's not so much the monetary value of the gift (esp. b/c if this child's Dad works for a sports team, the monetary value for him is most likely $0.), but that I'm sure it creates jealousy among the kids. How many of those kids would give anything to see the Jonas Bros, Taylor Swift, etc??? A Coach bag, most kids would care less about, but I'm sure those tickets create a lot of jealousy. As the OP said, I would never actually do anything about it, as it's such a gray area, but I do feel that she shouldn't be accepting them.
BUT......do you know for SURE that the tickets are a gift? My neighbor used to sell Avon stuff...when the orders came in, her DD would deliver them at school if the order was for a teacher or friend's parent....nothing was "given" to anyone, but it could have appeared that way.

 

[clovergirl5]

Yes, you did - pulled for your reference and quoted below.

And many times = how many to you? Um to me, hmmm, about 5 or more is where I come from.

 

[sbsteel]

Thank god for BUSYBODY parents. Because some things aren't so trivial. Thank god for the ones who who complain about bullying and kids having stuff that they shouldn't at school. Thank god for the ones who care enough and aren't to busy or are bullied by other parents not to speak up.

You just don't seem to get it. Busybodies get involved in things that involve neither them nor their child, just like this situation. This isn't about bullying or other important issues, it's about sticking your nose in a place where it doesn't belong.

 

[Nancyg56]

Bribe a 4th grade teacher???

My DGD's school system has a cap on cash gifts for this reason. It is the appearance of bribery that is the problem. The teachers can accept more but it needs to be reported to the administration.

Actually more than feelings get hurt when there is an innuendo of unethical behavior. Once the concern is voiced that teacher may be investigated. If you have ever been part of an investigation because a coworker made a false accusation about someone you would understand. There is no way to keep that kind of thing totally confidential and for many it is guilty until proven innocent.

Thanks, but I don't want to do anything... and never did, though many here are saying otherwise. I just think that ethically a teacher should say "Thanks very much, but I can't accept those". That's it. No more, no less.

I think that if the gift giving falls under the schools policy it is okay. It is unethical if the gifts are not allowed under the policy. I would bet dollars to donuts that if you know about the tickets others do as well. This means that the teacher is not pulling a fast one under the administrations nose, they probably know about it as well.

It IS a big deal to be innocent, yet be falsely accused of something to your boss. Unnecessary investigations take place, your reputation is tarnished, even if you are innocent.

You don't seem to care a whit about what kind of trauma you cause in somebody's else's work situation. You only seem to care about being the best Nosey Nellie you can be.

I will ask you again,

Would you think it innocent if a fellow employee's wife went to your husband's boss's boss to "investigate" your husband for something he did not do?

Because, he had nothing to hide, so no harm, no foul, right? It is just an investigation into your husband's character, right?

I realize that you have said that your DH would have no problem with this but I wonder if the reality of the accusation happened you and he would feel the same way. My DH was accused of something many years ago. It was an anonymous call in fact. His employer was worried that there may be issues so he was going to note it in his record. Dh never did what he was accused of and he was furious. What made it worse was that his employer knew he would never do something so out of character but he did not want to "make waves". I have never seen DH so upset, he insisted his employer investigate and that all of the facts, including the accuser come out before he let him document something like that in his permanent record. YOu have no idea until something like this happens how you would react or how the accusation would affect you or your reputation. Thank God my DH had never had anything in his past that could even link him with any conduct that was immoral or unethical and his employer knew him well enough to know that this was the hill he would die on.

Be careful how you cavalierly say your DH would let it go because he had nothing to hide, it has happened to more innocent people than you know.

Parents are considered busybodies now...thats sad!

Yup. I volunteer in DGD's classroom and you would not believe the things kids want to share. It is also sad to hear some of the parents talking about what these kids have going on in their lives and in their homes. Kids should be in a safe environment when they are in school and it is sad that some adults have no problem violating them in the most profound manner. Once you share what you know with others it is bound to be discussed on the playground and that is very hard on teh kids. I have had to find creative ways of changing the subject when the kids in my group talk about aome things that are really not meant to be shared in school with the parents of their classmates.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Not true...That is one blanket statement.
You should be encouraged to talk to the teachers, principals or supers for whatever concern you have. This is your school for YOUR children. Don't you want a say or knowledge about whats going on it them?

Not when it involves making false accusations about other people or about an issue that has no effect on my child or his/her classroom, except if it is a safety issue and children are in danger.

If you are so concerned about how the school is run, I suggest you run for the board of education instead of involving yourself in everybody else's business and running to the principal every time you "suspect" something is amiss without gathering any kind of facts - something that you have admitted you do on a regular basis.

 

[clovergirl5]

You just don't seem to get it. Busybodies get involved in things that involve neither them nor their child, just like this situation. This isn't about bullying or other important issues, it's about sticking your nose in a place where it doesn't belong.

Unbelievable....I do get it, thank you. If I see/hear anything at school, the store, the dentist, the doctor, the ortho, driving, ANYWHERE that I have any concern about, I will question who I need to. Why is that such a bad thing. I guess if you want to call me a busybody, than I guess thats what I am. Not a big deal. I will and do teach my children to pay attention to whats going on and if they have concerns talk to someone about it.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Really, I said that? Theres that ugly thing called PRESUMPTION again. It seems to running rampant here!

Hmmm... so you actually don't like presumption about when it is about your actions or words?

Isn't this exactly what you do when you say you don't want to talk to the person involved, but to go directly to the person's boss without verifying any facts? That you leave it to the principal to investigate?

You are presuming that the teacher is guilty until proven innocent. You said yourself that there is nothing wrong with it if there is nothing to hide.

 

[clovergirl5]

As the saying goes...We agree to disagree, because I feel the way I do, and nobody will change that.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I see you're making friends and influencing people again, clovergirl. lol

 

[clovergirl5]

Hmmm... so you actually don't like presumption about when it is about your actions or words?

Isn't this exactly what you do when you say you don't want to talk to the person involved, but to go directly to the person's boss without verifying any facts? That you leave it to the principal to investigate?

You are presuming that the teacher is guilty until proven innocent. You said yourself that there is nothing wrong with it if there is nothing to hide.

Ok

 

[leighe]

Unbelievable....I do get it, thank you. If I see/hear anything at school, the store, the dentist, the doctor, the ortho, driving, ANYWHERE that I have any concern about, I will question who I need to. Why is that such a bad thing. I guess if you want to call me a busybody, than I guess thats what I am. Not a big deal. I will and do teach my children to pay attention to whats going on and if they have concerns talk to someone about it.

... beating my head against the wall...

Because in this case, it didn't concern you OR your child. How is that not being a busybody? Good lord.