Sports Team Travel Policy questions

[KiKi Mouse]

A couple of drinks? Really? Were any of them drunk? Irresponsible? Lacking in judgment?

No? Then why do you think these same coaches and chaperones will be any less responsible when they're the only ones in charge of the player?

And again - do you never, ever, ever drink when your children are in your care or will be while there's any trace of alcohol in your system? If you genuinely don't, that's great. If you do or ever have, your being a hypocrite.

I don't know if any of the people were drunk, irresponsible or lacking in judgement because I wasn't paying attention because they weren't looking after my kid. We were. I can't speak for all the other soccer staff that will be the hotel because I have never met them and most of them will be from another province.

If you went to the daycare, school or babysitter and the teacher was sitting there having a beer would you not have a problem with that? It's the same idea. When you entrust your child to somebody you have an expectation that they are going to be responsible.

 

[sam_gordon]

They get it, this is the Dis boards, and you should NEVER, I repeat NEVER, ask for opinions on your kid, especially one that may seem like you are the least bit protective, it doesn't fly here at all.

The problem is this isn't a parent who is the "least bit protective". Let's have a summary of this thread so far...

[OP] Does anyone have rules similar to these?
[Response #1] Yup, sounds close.
[#2] Maybe a little over the top, but OK.
[#3] Not unusual
[#4] No problem
[OP] But do you KNOW what could happen to these kids? How quickly they can be attacked?
[#5] Still don't have a problem, you can't keep kids in a bubble
[#6]This is what my kids' band program does
[OP]But what about the bar in the hotel, leaders shouldn't be allowed to drink alcohol on these trips
etc
etc
etc

FWIW I agree with you. I think it is crazy and luckily we haven't had to deal with it, and I don't see it happening n the future either. Do yourself a favor and get out of this thread while you still can with all of your sanity left. This place isn't good for parenting advice.

I will agree the OP would probably do well to bow out of the thread. I disagree about the Dis not being good for parenting advice. Just because you don't agree with the advice doesn't mean it's bad.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

umm, you change sports by trying something different? No, you won't be as good as those who have been playing for 7 years, but that doesn't mean she can't play.
Then, aside from the possibility there's some kind of misunderstanding, your choice is to either follow the rules, break the rules (and possibly have your DD suffer), or devastate your DD.

Curious... has your DH been one of the 'dads' who got together for a couple of drinks?

No because we also have little kids, and are the only ones who do. The past couple of years we've been too exhausted to go out of the room once the little ones were in bed.

 

[sam_gordon]

If you went to the daycare, school or babysitter and the teacher was sitting there having a beer would you not have a problem with that? It's the same idea. When you entrust your child to somebody you have an expectation that they are going to be responsible.

IMO, your analogy is close, but not quite on target.
First, you are talking teenagers. Presumably, they don't need as much "looking after" as a child in daycare or someone who needs a babysitter.
Second, I don't have a problem with someone who is "responsible" for my child having an alcoholic beverage... ESPECIALLY if they are not planning on driving anywhere. *I* will have an occasional drink while out with the family. Does that mean I'm irresponsible?

 

[sam_gordon]

Would you let DD attend a sleepover at a friends as long as the parents are home? What if you know the parents "imbibe" after dinner?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

IMO, your analogy is close, but not quite on target.
First, you are talking teenagers. Presumably, they don't need as much "looking after" as a child in daycare or someone who needs a babysitter.
Second, I don't have a problem with someone who is "responsible" for my child having an alcoholic beverage... ESPECIALLY if they are not planning on driving anywhere. *I* will have an occasional drink while out with the family. Does that mean I'm irresponsible?

So you are comfortable with people that you don't know that are responsible for children, staying in a hotel in another state drinking? Sure they are teenagers and don't need as much looking after as little ones. So having said that would it be okay with you if it were a school teacher on a school trip having a couple of drinks? Most people would freak about that but it is okay if it is a sports team?

sam_gordon: Would you let DD attend a sleepover at a friends as long as the parents are home? What if you know the parents "imbibe" after dinner?
Never.

 

[undertheradar]

So you are comfortable with people that you don't know that are responsible for children, staying in a hotel in another state drinking? Sure they are teenagers and don't need as much looking after as little ones. So having said that would it be okay with you if it were a school teacher on a school trip having a couple of drinks? Most people would freak about that but it is okay if it is a sports team?

OP, do you or your husband drink alcohol?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

OP, do you or your husband drink alcohol?

This does not have to do with us drinking it has to do with people drinking if they are in charge of kids.
If you were a chaperone for a group of kids would you drink?

 

[undertheradar]

This does not have to do with us drinking it has to do with people drinking if they are in charge of kids.
If you were a chaperone for a group of kids would you drink?

Why is it different? When you are watching your kids do you or your husband ever consume alcohol?

 

[jrmasm]

So you are comfortable with people that you don't know that are responsible for children, staying in a hotel in another state drinking? Sure they are teenagers and don't need as much looking after as little ones. So having said that would it be okay with you if it were a school teacher on a school trip having a couple of drinks? Most people would freak about that but it is okay if it is a sports team?

sam_gordon: Would you let DD attend a sleepover at a friends as long as the parents are home? What if you know the parents "imbibe" after dinner?
Never.

I know for a FACT that some of the chaperones that my daughter travels with have drinks while on these trips. It has never been a problem. And when I travel with my daughter and she is in my care, I have had a drink or two also. Nothing happened then either.

I get that this is a new policy for you but if it's province wide, I think you're just going to have to deal with it or get out. Why not give it a try once and see how it goes?

 

[undertheradar]

This does not have to do with us drinking it has to do with people drinking if they are in charge of kids.
If you were a chaperone for a group of kids would you drink?

Judging from this thread? If I were a chaperone, it looks as if some of the parents might drive me to it.

 

[golfgal]

How do you change sports at 13 when everbody in the other sports has settled into their teams and level of play? It's not like we can put her in hockey now nor does she want to play it.

She HAS to play a sport because she loves it. She would be devastated if we took her out.

As for people drinking...every other tournament we have gone to the coaches and the dads get together for a couple of drinks. It's never been a problem but in the past we have all been responsible for our own kids.

So, a dad having a couple drinks and watching his kids is ok but a coach having a couple drinks watching the kids isn't???

As for pulling her out, there is absolutely NO reason she can't, if she wants, switch sports at age 13. For an equally naturally talented kid, starting a sport at 5 vs 13 will show NO difference by the time they get to high school. It is a fallacy that kids need to start that young to succeed--in fact you often see the opposite and kids that play too much at a young age burn out before they get to high school.

Again, you are making WAY too much about this new policy. It is NOT a big deal. If you don't like the new policy, yes, your options are to go with it or pull her out of the sport---your choice.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Why is it different? When you are watching your kids do you or your husband ever consume alcohol?

It is different because when you are looking after somebody elses kids in a capacity such as a chaperone there is a reasonable expectation that you are going to remain sober.

If something were to ever happen you would have to answer to somebody about people's alcohol consumption whether it be your own or the person in question.

 

[undertheradar]

Why is it different? When you are watching your kids do you or your husband ever consume alcohol?

See you still haven't answered the question.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

See you still haven't answered the question.

I rarely have a drink only because I can feel the alcohol from one drink.

So go ahead and beat me up for that.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

It is different because when you are looking after somebody elses kids in a capacity such as a chaperone there is a reasonable expectation that you are going to remain sober.

If something were to ever happen you would have to answer to somebody about people's alcohol consumption whether it be your own or the person in question.

I have not read this entire thread........

My kids have been on school and sports trips with the conditions you have described.....kids four to a room, no adults in the room etc. It made me nervous but we all survived.....HOWEVER, I do find it odd that no parents are allowed to stay in the same hotel! That is strange. How can they stop you from staying there? What is really going to stop a parent from making a reservation and staying there. If rooms are available, I can't imagine the hotel management would turn paying customers away.

About the drinking, I agree with you. I dont think the coaches need to be drinking at all, not even one or two.......it shouldnt be a big deal to go for a night or two without drinking. Sets a nice example for the kids that adults can still relax and have a good time without a drink. Has nothing to do with being "drunk", just shouldnt be a big deal for a coach or chaperone to go a night or two without drinking. If it is a big deal, well thats another issue......

 

[kaytieeldr]

It is different because when you are looking after somebody elses kids in a capacity such as a chaperone there is a reasonable expectation that you are going to remain sober.

If something were to ever happen you would have to answer to somebody about people's alcohol consumption whether it be your own or the person in question.

You're confusing 'having a couple of drinks' - your words - with being drunk.

 

[luvsJack]

I think you are overreacting.

For the boys, you have to trust your dd. Over the next few years, she is going to be in situations where she isn't comfortable around certain people. She needs to know how to handle those situations.

For the coaches and chaperons, if you do not trust these people, why are you allowing your dd to play for them in the first place?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I rarely have a drink only because I can feel the alcohol from one drink.

So go ahead and beat me up for that.

But that's you. The larger a person is, the less a typical drink is going to affect them.

 

[NHdisneylover]

The policy would not bother me at all.