Sports Team Travel Policy questions

[KiKi Mouse]

If you don't like the policy/rules, don't sign up for the team.

My daughter has been with this team for eight years. The association that governs the sport changed the travel rule in August 2011. This is the first out of town tournament where the issue has come up.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Is there any rule that says that the athletes can never go off by themselves? Would that alleviate some of your concerns if your daughter was always with at least one other athlete?

There is no rule stating kids cannot go anywhere by themselves. I'm not worried about that as my daughter wouldn't.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Again I would trust my child not to be going to the coaches house alone, and if a boy was in her room and she didn't like it she would do what she has been taught, leave, or yell etc. Haven't you taught her this?

With respect to the specific incident I previously wrote of the parents did not know their daughter would be going to the coaches house. Neither did the girl. The coach was giving the girl a ride to a practice. He said he had to stop at his house to pick up something he had forgotten.

 

[PlutoPony]

Does her spending the night in your room really alleviate your concerns? I'm going to guess that the athletes have down time at the hotel or other places where they're hanging out and being kids, kwim? Unless she's with your family all of the time other than when they're participating in their sport, couldn't these things happen to her at a multitude of other times?

I'm not sure I get why parents can't stay at the same hotel, since I'm assuming the general public can book rooms there. We get a room block for a school team and allow parents to take some of the rooms so they can get in on the good pricing we get for the team - and the hotel is fine with that.

 

[mjkacmom]

What do you think is going to happen? I like the rule that doors need to stay open. There is a really good chance that you are going to encounter this situation with school trips, as well. Plus, I really hope that when she stayed with you, she still had time away from you, with the rest of the team. Both of my teens have gone on several trips like this - ds 12 went he went on a chaparoned trip without us, 5 hours away.

Will they tape the doors at night? This works really well.

 

[undertheradar]

My daughter has been with this team for eight years. The association that governs the sport changed the travel rule in August 2011. This is the first out of town tournament where the issue has come up.

Looks like perhaps there were some issues with parents and the association has chosen to lessen the chances for this to happen. Your post is full of so many "what ifs" that it might not be the proper team for your daughter anymore. I would confirm the rules/policies with the association and find out what extra precautions are being taken to protect the youth participants from some of the things you have suggested might occur here. I'm sure you can offer to help pay for added security that can patrol the hotel area near the team rooms while they are staying there. What do other parents think about the changes in policy and new travel rules?

 

[akhenaten]

Does her spending the night in your room really alleviate your concerns? I'm going to guess that the athletes have down time at the hotel or other places where they're hanging out and being kids, kwim? Unless she's with your family all of the time other than when they're participating in their sport, couldn't these things happen to her at a multitude of other times?

I'm not sure I get why parents can't stay at the same hotel, since I'm assuming the general public can book rooms there. We get a room block for a school team and allow parents to take some of the rooms so they can get in on the good pricing we get for the team - and the hotel is fine with that.

Yes.. OP that is the one rule that I would ask for more information about. What is the reason for it?

 

[Hannathy]

Hannathy, you just don't get it. You are putting the onus on a 13 y/o girl to just up and leave a situation if she doesn't like it. Do you watch the news or read anything other than the DIS boards? Often children are not given the option of just getting up and leaving or calling if there is something inappropriate going on. Yes there are chaperones, but not in the rooms and I assume the chaperones will be sleeping at some point. So what is to stop something from going on in the middle of the night?

/QUOTE]


No I don't think you get it.

I speak from experience. I had a 13 yr old DD and have a 13 yr old DS. My DD has gone away on trips and yes I did trust her to know enough at 13 to know how to size up a situation on her own -because she was taught independence- and to know when to leave or yell. When she was 15 she went to Italy with orchestra and one night some boys snuck out, they were seniors, and climbed up the balcony and wanted the girls in my DD's room to let them in so they could cut thru and get to their rooms. Now these are senior boys and freshman girls and you know what they did? they said NO way we aren't opening our window and getting in trouble. So yeah I do Know what I am talking about.

Do you really not trust your child to be with a group of kids that are doing bad stuff? Do you think she is going to sneak out in the middle of the night if you aren't guarding her? Do you think so poorly of the other girls on the team? if this is true, I wouldn't want my DD with them.

And I would be willing to bet a lot of money that they do have to be with someone at all times, like I have said never knew a group yet who didn't have the buddy system in place.

Also like I said before you can't live your life in fear of the minute chance that something can happen. I refuse to be that paranoid or to keep my kids in a bubble.

 

[Jennasis]

Sounds like the rules that are in place for Special Olympic national and international events. Parents can come but cannot, under any circumstances stay at the same accomodations as their child. Boys and girls are never allowed to be in a room together even for just hanging out. Athletes room with other athletes, not the coaches.

I get you don't like the rule change AND that your DD has been with the organization since was 5 years old (you said 8 years, and she's 13 now right?), but bottom line is you have to do whatyou feel is best for your own DD. No likey the new rules? Time to find a new club/team.

Sorry.

 

[akhenaten]

Sounds like the rules that are in place for Special Olympic national and international events. Parents can come but cannot, under any circumstances stay at the same accomodations as their child. Boys and girls are never allowed to be in a room together even for just hanging out. Athletes room with other athletes, not the coaches.

I get you don't like the rule change AND that your DD has been with the organization since was 5 years old (you said 8 years, and she's 13 now right?), but bottom line is you have to do whatyou feel is best for your own DD. No likey the new rules? Time to find a new club/team.

Sorry.

I can understand that at the special olympics... they are creating an "Athletes village". The question is can anyone out side of the event book rooms at the same hotel? If the answer is yes then there is no reason for a parent to not be able to book a room also...

 

[KiKi Mouse]

It's not a club/team policy. It's the organization that governs the sport for the entire province.

Up until now each parent took their own kid to the tournaments and had their own hotel room. Now that has changed. The manager says that parents are not happy with it and they are trying to figure out how to conform to the new rules.

Like somebody said this isn't like an athlete's village where there is stringent security everywhere. It is a publicly accessed hotel.

OMG Hannathy, you are so hard of understanding. I'm not worried about some of the other girls wanting to go giggle at boys. I'm not worried about my DD sneaking out at night or doing anything sneaky. I don't keep my kids in a bubble but I do not just sit back and never ask questions and assume that somebody else has the best interest of my kids in mind. I do admit to thinking of situations that most others never ever think of only because I deal with them every day at work and know first hand how quick and easy these things happen.

I do not think it is a great idea to have four 13 y/o girls in a room with no chaperone in the room in a hotel that is publically accessed and people in the hotel are consuming alcohol and there are teams of older teenaged boys (up to 18 y/o) there. No chaperone can say that can keep watch over these kids 24 hours a day.

 

[ZuZugal]

Good morning sports parents.

I want to know if any other sports teams have a similiar travel policy to the one that was just emailed to us this morning. Tell me what you think of this.

Here are the items that cause my husband and I concern:

1) While attending any competition, where accommodations are required, the players under the age of majority may not room with any adult, regardless of that adult being a parent, coach, club official or staff members.

2) Unless the Club has a specific rule, only the players, club officials and staff members will be allowed to stay at the hotel accommodations / rooms allocated to the Club.

3) When it involves players under the age of majority, anytime a room is visited by anyone other than the occupant(s) the door will be left ajar for viewing by the coach, manager or MSA delegate.

I do understand #2. We have come across that issue many times with HS sports. Often times there are only so many rooms set aside for each team, which would naturally include the team members, coaches and officials. If there are rooms available beyond that, you can probably get your own room there. If not you will have to choose another hotel close by.

 

[golfgal]

So, you have been in law enforcement for a long time, how many times have you been called to a hotel to take care of a situation involving the parent of a teammate molesting an other teammate at a hotel on an out of town trip?

I agree with Hannathy, you have to trust your DD not to put herself into situations where issues may arise. If you don't trust her, don't let her go. I think you are blowing this whole situation out of proportion to begin with as well.

Do you let your DD stay home alone with your DH? You should know that statistically she is in more danger with him then a stranger, right?

 

[undertheradar]

It's not a club/team policy. It's the organization that governs the sport for the entire province.

Up until now each parent took their own kid to the tournaments and had their own hotel room. Now that has changed. The manager says that parents are not happy with it and they are trying to figure out how to conform to the new rules.

Like somebody said this isn't like an athlete's village where there is stringent security everywhere. It is a publicly accessed hotel.

OMG Hannathy, you are so hard of understanding. I'm not worried about some of the other girls wanting to go giggle at boys. I'm not worried about my DD sneaking out at night or doing anything sneaky. I don't keep my kids in a bubble but I do not just sit back and never ask questions and assume that somebody else has the best interest of my kids in mind. I do admit to thinking of situations that most others never ever think of only because I deal with them every day at work and know first hand how quick and easy these things happen.

I do not think it is a great idea to have four 13 y/o girls in a room with no chaperone in the room in a hotel that is publically accessed and people in the hotel are consuming alcohol and there are teams of older teenaged boys (up to 18 y/o) there. No chaperone can say that can keep watch over these kids 24 hours a day.

No parent can say that they can keep watch over these kids 24 hours a day either.

 

[PlutoPony]

Up until now each parent took their own kid to the tournaments and had their own hotel room. Now that has changed. The manager says that parents are not happy with it and they are trying to figure out how to conform to the new rules.
.

So before now, each family has had their own room and the team (including families) spent the free time together - is that the way it used to work? There really was no time at the hotel when the athletes spent time just by themselves, without a coach or parent around. ...... With this change, the athletes are spending time by themselves without supervision, whether it be hanging out in the room or overnight when they're supposed to be sleeping, and that's where the problem comes in. Is that it in a nutshell?

 

[undertheradar]

What sport is this and how many team members are there per team? Is a team reserving a block of rooms by itself or does the association handle it?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

So, you have been in law enforcement for a long time, how many times have you been called to a hotel to take care of a situation involving the parent of a teammate molesting an other teammate at a hotel on an out of town trip?

I deal with calls but I do not attend calls.

There have been many many calls for service at hotels involving sports teams and sexual assaults. The suspect is most often another "kid" staying in the same hotel. There has been situations where it has been a parent and there has been times where it is a member of the public off the street that is at the hotel. So it's not just my imagination and a case of being over protective. Not every call for police service is made public where I am from.

Currently in our news there is an investigation into a very bad hockey team hazing incident that happened in a locker room in the presence of a coach. I am sure the parents of the boy trusted the coach and the club. Stuff happens and we have to learn from such incidents so that they can be prevented in the future.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

What sport is this and how many team members are there per team? Is a team reserving a block of rooms by itself or does the association handle it?

Our manager will block off rooms for our team depending on the number of players attending plus rooms for coaching staff, manager and chaperones. Each team manager will do the same. The association only sets the rules for the sport they don't deal with anything other than that.

Plutopony, you got it.
In the past the kids would go swimming in the hotel as a group but there was always a few parents sitting by the pool. We would go out to eat as a group and the kids would sit together in the restaurant. Other than that the parents would drive their own kids to the games and the kids were in the rooms with their parents at night. So yes, this is all new as of this morning for us.

 

[undertheradar]

So there is rampant sexual assault going on in hotels in Manitoba? I have experience in hotel security procedure and policy and never heard of this in the magnitude that you are stating. If it is as rampant as you say, why would you allow your daughter to participate with this association? Are there reported statistics to support your claim? If such activity is the norm, why would anyone support the association that endorses this policy and as a result, the activity?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

So there is rampant sexual assault going on in hotels in Manitoba? I have experience in hotel security procedure and policy and never heard of this in the magnitude that you are stating. If it is as rampant as you say, why would you allow your daughter to participate with this association? Are there reported statistics to support your claim? If such activity is the norm, why would anyone support the association that endorses this policy and as a result, the activity?

The biggest problem is the hotels that have bars in them.
Manitoba is a high crime province. My city is the murder capital of Canada. In fact there was a murder of a young woman at a hotel last week.

Air Canada just changed their policy of having their airline staff stay at a downtown city hotel because of the high crime rate and danger to it's staff. Air Canada employs adult men and women not teenaged girls and yet they felt the threat to their staff was serious enough to not book them rooms in our downtown.

The association isn't responsible for the crime. I think their new policy is to try and deal with some inappropriate behavior that has happened in the past with parents. Not with our team specifically.