Relating an incident of an unsupervised child at CC

[Amy11]

Letting a responsible kid of a minimum age go off to do something is 1 thing, but letting a kid loose who doesn't know where they are or what they're doing is not ok. I guess people rely on other adults to worry about their kids? Accidents happen with all parents, but most of these reports are purposeful events. Crazy!!

 

[mevelandry]

I'm not a mother but...

Adults drowned on CC.

Can't imagine what could happen to an unsupervised child...

He was lucky you were there.

 

[jahber]

I guess I'm old and grew up in a time when kids played unattended all of the time and yet somehow survived. How did we make it? No bike helmets, no life jackets, no adult to supervise our every second, walked to school, saw a doctor only when sick, (not very often). Mom did worry about Polio; "don't play in that creek!". How did I make it this far? My advice, relax and enjoy life. Not every event or risk is worth the 7th Cavalry.

I agree in general, but a 5 or 6 year old who can't swim, allowed in the ocean completely unsupervised? You'd be ok with that?
Fwiw, it's not just on a cruise. A friend of mine is the special Ed program monitor (read, she handles all the paperwork) for an elementary school here in Orlando. On the first day of school a bus driver brought a 4yo non-communicative autistic boy to the office. He had gotten on the bus, but couldn't say his name or answer any questions. There was no paperwork for him, no record of him being registered (yes, they checked all the pre-K kids' registrations, looking for a likely candidate). Nothing on his person had any kind of ID. Somehow they figured out his name, hours later, and called his mom to come register him. This happens everywhere, alas.

 

[EvieBug]

In an effort to be more like the non-judgemental OP, I will simply say I am heartened by the folks who did the right thing and took care of/watched over these wayward kiddos.

 

[Jennifer777]

As a former lifeguard myself, and a current mom of a small child, life vests are not magical force fields. Small, weak swimmers can panic and easily drown in a standard life vest, since if the weight isn't enough below the actual vest you won't necessarily stay upright/face up if unconscious.

This sums up my thoughts exactly. Too many parents have a misconception that strapping on a life vest guarantees their child's safety and their confidence is passed along to their child who then feels invincible in their vest.

I guess I'm old and grew up in a time when kids played unattended all of the time and yet somehow survived.

I get what you're saying to an extent. I was raised a very free-range child. During the summer my mom opened the door in the morning, let us loose like a pack of dogs and we came back home when the street lights came on at night. However, we knew our boundaries and we were never allowed to swim without adult supervision (and by adult supervision, I don't mean strangers who happen to be swimming at the same place) even though we took swimming lessons from a young age and were excellent swimmers. We were taught a very healthy fear of water and that's smart. I agree we have become a society of helicopter parents where children are too often not given the space and opportunity to learn and grow on their own but I don't think allowing a child barely old enough for kindergarten, who doesn't know how to swim, play in the ocean unsupervised is one of those examples.

 

[FigmentSpark]

In the 70s and 80s there were a lot more moms at home with families, so probably every house had someone who'd answer the door of a frightened or lost child and you know most of the neighbourhood children and who their parents were. People looked out their windows often, after their own kids and saw the neighbours' kids while they were at it. Kids phoned home and said where they were if they went into a friend's house. Moms knew where their kids were. You may have felt like you went out in the morning and came home with the lights, but your mom had a network of neighbourhood friends who either saw you or had kids with you. They knew where you were.

Also, maybe you didn't have a helmet or seat belts, but there were half the cars on the road as it wasn't nearly as common for families to have two cars and if they did, they weren't rushing from thing to thing. Mom might be coming from shopping or taking someone to a dance lesson, but it wasn't after a long day at work and a long commute to rush to make dinner. The commutes are long and the everyone is rushing around in their own cars. People barely even stop for pedestrians now, let alone a little Stop sign. It is a different world, but not just because of predators, who've always been around. We live differently in our communities than our parents and grandparents did.

 

[Bettyscruise]

Yes. We all made it through the 70s and 80s, except for the ones who aren't here because they didn't.

My era is more the '40s and 50s. A totally different time with totally different expectations. I'm glad the kid didn't drown too. I just don't empathize with the over control and hysteria many parents exhibit today with mere child's play. Parents are arrested around here for less. The world is no more dangerous now than then, but people act like it is.

 

[Weedy]

When my rule follower, good swimmer son was 8 he thought he had permission to go out to the rope dock/swing.
We looked up and he was gone. We had no idea where he was. I went to one of the lifeguard stands and reported him missing. They all called to each other his name on the megaphones and he was found in a few minutes.

 

[Jess_S]

Yes. We all made it through the 70s and 80s, except for the ones who aren't here because they didn't.

This exactly. The death rate for children has fallen about 50% since the 60s, mostly because we have gotten much better about preventing accidents.

Unlike the OP, I'm definitely judgmental of any parent who would allow a 6 year old who cannot swim play in the water unsupervised. It's harder for me to be as judgmental as I'd like to be now that I have my own kid though. For example, my son who cannot swim wanted to go down the resort pool slide at WDW last summer and I let him because he was wearing a life jacket. My husband took him up the slide and I caught him at the bottom. In the 2 second that it took me to grab him once he came off the slide, he rocked back and forth twice like a turtle on its back and came this close to having his face go in the water. My own poor decision aptly demonstrates what many are saying -- that a kid who cannot swim isn't magically protected by a life jacket.

 

[hanscarlet]

I am surprised at the number of folks who are OK with no life jackets on unsupervised 5 year olds, that's surprising...

There was an 8 year old who recently died on RCC due to drowning and even then a lot of us "judgmental folk" were kind and didn't judge the situation because we all understand how crowded the pools can get, how one can get lost in a crowd and how the boy probably thought he could swim.... having said that and understanding the potentiel of this choatic pool environment, and really serious problems that can occur with an unsupervised 4 or 5 year old, it's absolutely rational and responsible to expect parents to not leave their 4 and 5 year olds unattended, especially with no life jackets around water... a little 2 year old toddler survived a horrific boat crash this weekend thanks to her life jacket... it saves lives

 

[mevelandry]

As a former lifeguard myself, and a current mom of a small child, life vests are not magical force fields. Small, weak swimmers can panic and easily drown in a standard life vest, since if the weight isn't enough below the actual vest you won't necessarily stay upright/face up if unconscious.

Yeah. Something happened to me when I was... 5 yo I think?

I guess the vest was slightly too big for my weight...

I was walking in the water. You know how it is... One step further and my feet did not touch the ground anymore: the vest was floating but since it was not well ajusted instead of keeping me to the surface, it made me tilt, face down/face under water, unable to get back up on my feet.

I breathed water. My mother caught me "drowning" within a minute and that is why I'm still here today.

 

[Love2Cruz]

I'm not exactly a helicopter mom, but I do watch over my DD when we are out in public...but in the off chance that we somehow become separated or lost, she is instructed to go up to a grown-up, a woman only, or a police man and tell them she is lost so they can help her find me. Luckily we haven't put this in use, other than a time she panicked in Macy's as she lost track of me for 3 seconds and ran up to the clerk.

But to purposefully pass out while a non swimming child is in the ocean by themselves is negligent.


And I will add my DD got swimming lessons very early and she is a great swimmer, but I still wouldn't let her in the water or pool unsupervised. Living in Florida and working in hospitals, I can tell you we get a sad amount of cases of children who are swimmers that drown or have near drowning accidents. I can't imaging that kind of pain.

 

[Hundredacre]

I am definitely in the camp that says we need to step back and chill out a bit. Maybe as someone mentioned we loose less kids to accidents than in the 50s and 60s-- i'm not sure if that's true but even if it is, we are loosing them as young adults to drugs, alcohol and nihilism. Maybe a little more freedom as kids would give them a sense of joie de vivre and independence that most young adults are lacking today.

 

[GooniesAndy]

My then 6-year-old got lost at Pirate Night last year on our Panama Canal cruise and it was just awful. It took me a while to realize he was missing, because I'd given him and his big brother permission to be on the stage playing the games and things, while I sat on the edge. He got confused about where I was and went off the other side of the stage. Very quickly some girls found him crying and summoned a crew member, who took him down to the Oceaneers Lab. I was looking for him, progressively more panicked, running to check pools and hot tubs first, and of course he wasn't even on the same deck any longer. When I saw one of the Club staff standing near the back of the area it occurred to me that they may be able to help. He called down and sure enough, Oliver was down in the Lab playing. If it ever happens again, the first thing I'll do is check with the Club staff, before I do more than a cursory search. He was taken to a familiar place, with familiar people, and he quickly got over being scared and went into normal mode. I, on the other hand, am still not quite over it!

 

[PlanoNana]

These stories illustrate why you will see our 21 month old grand daughter wearing some type of a leash when she's on deck or Castaway or excursions with us. She LOVES to run and isn't afraid of anything so her parents and her Nana and Pops will take appropriate precautions to keep her safe. I'll probably get more exercise than I want just following her around.

 

[wilkeliza]

I am definitely in the camp that says we need to step back and chill out a bit. Maybe as someone mentioned we loose less kids to accidents than in the 50s and 60s-- i'm not sure if that's true but even if it is, we are loosing them as young adults to drugs, alcohol and nihilism. Maybe a little more freedom as kids would give them a sense of joie de vivre and independence that most young adults are lacking today.

A little independence is one thing, allowing a child who can't swim or isn't a strong swimmer to be in an open body of water all alone is another. Also clearly some parents were trying to give their kids a little freedom and found out the older sibling couldn't be trusted when they were MIA when they were suppose to be watching the littles.

 

[dclpluto]

A lot of parents think we are on a Disney cruise nothing is going to happen. Drownings have happened, rapes, child molestiation. I wish I was making this up but I'm not.

 

[hanscarlet]

A lot of parents think we are on a Disney cruise nothing is going to happen. Drownings have happened, rapes, child molestiation. I wish I was making this up but I'm not.

Agree, I think there's a blissful mindset that goes with vacation (and rightly so in many ways) and it's wonderful the DCL cruisers are used to dealing with lost kids and what not, it's almost like a large family environment... but definitely good to show some vigilance like one would while not being on vacation

 

[Sytrace]

I don't consider myself a helicopter parent but I do believe in being watchful of my own children whether on vacation or not and knowing their limitations and strengths that go with that.

Just like I don't take them to the beach and take a nap while they are out swimming in the water. I go with them (usually we are out there for a few hours at a time) They both learned to swim very early on but the ocean has a lot of variables and things that can happen to even the most experienced of swimmers. Undertow, riptides and sharks are the more serious of instances. (And I enjoy the ocean as much as they do so win win) .

Sorry, I am rambling. My point is that if we (my husband and I) bring our children on vacation or anywhere, we as parents are the ones responsible for their safety. Not another passenger, or even a CM. It falls on us. My kids are both in their teens and we cut them some slack and they hang out together on the ship and keep in touch with us, but the water is a whole different ball game and too many things can happen that are preventable.
OP, great job on being non judgemental and opening a thread on something that lots of folks are responding to in a positive manner.

 

[Hundredacre]

A little independence is one thing, allowing a child who can't swim or isn't a strong swimmer to be in an open body of water all alone is another. Also clearly some parents were trying to give their kids a little freedom and found out the older sibling couldn't be trusted when they were MIA when they were suppose to be watching the littles.

I am not saying kids should not be watched in water, but in all of the anecdotes mentioned the kids were all fine. I do not see them as in danger. I agree it is a fine line between freedom and safety, but in our society today we are erring very heavily on the side of safety with very little freedom. No parent admits to being a "helicopter" parent but most of us are without even realizing it.