OT: What bizarre / funny "rules" do you have in your house?

[Nina1]

Sitting here by myself laughing out loud...

A few of ours...

No peeing in the mall parking lot. DS 4 has developed an unadulterated love of peeing outdoors.

Don't walk by the window without your underwear on.

If you are not hungry for dinner, then you are not hungry for Oreos.

No hockey in the kitchen.

Hockey sticks and baseball bats are to be used for their intended purpose only.

Mommy trips over cars, motorcycles and trucks when they are on the floor - pick them up when you are done playing with them.

Absolutely no announcing "I have to poop, oh wait it was just a fart," as we are entering the mall, grocery store, other shopping establishment or church.

 

[laughinplace199]

1. No blood, no Band Aid
2. No light saber fights in the house
3. No running down the stairs - that is how you broke your arm.
4. No "ice skating" on a blanket across the hard wood floor - that is how you split your chin open
5. No attempting to do a cannon ball to get either in or out of the tub.

 

[miprender]

If you make an imaginary cupcake and pretend eat it in front of your siblings then you have to make an imaginary cupcake for your siblings also.

If your brother asks for an imaginary vanilla cupcake, then you can't pretend to make a chocolate one just to trick him

I love this one... they sound like what my kids would do.


And I am glad I am not the only one with no licking rules. My DS who just turned 5 still has to lick everything. Despite my constant reminding him that if he gets sick he is going to the doctors.

 

[Pastamom]

I love this one... they sound like what my kids would do.


And I am glad I am not the only one with no licking rules. My DS who just turned 5 still has to lick everything. Despite my constant reminding him that if he gets sick he is going to the doctors.

LOL...We had to have a no licking rule also. DS9 licked his way through WDW at age 4. I was so sure he would come home sick - but he was as healthy as a horse...

We also had the nothing except food in your mouth rule - after swallowing numerous LEGOS and coins...

Now with DS9 (still) we have the rule no touching your "thing" in public, when talking to your Mom, etc - it does NOT need to be "adjusted" that much...

You also don't need to show me how "shiny and big" you got it in the shower...

I grew up with only a sister - the world of boys is a wonder to me..

 

[DisneyDebbie]

I remember another one,

when DS was 5 he LOVED to 'adjust' He told me he feels more comfy when his 'peepee' points up, but it won't stay up

After about a month of this, I decided to institute a new rule.....

1. you will be charged 1 penny everytime I see you w/your hand down your pants.

He paid me from 50 cents to 98 cents each day and it lasted about 2 weeks.

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

Okay, got a new rule after last night! DS5 picked his nose and then proudly ate it -- yes, I did want to throw up! He then wanted to kiss me on the lips. New rule: Mommy will not kiss you on the lips if you have eaten a booger!

 

[marcemc]

I remember another one,

when DS was 5 he LOVED to 'adjust' He told me he feels more comfy when his 'peepee' points up, but it won't stay up

After about a month of this, I decided to institute a new rule.....

1. you will be charged 1 penny everytime I see you w/your hand down your pants.

He paid me from 50 cents to 98 cents each day and it lasted about 2 weeks.

boys will be boys.............

 

[here757]

1. No licking the toilet brush while sitting on the potty (DS tried this before I removed the brush).
2. The Plunger is not a light saber (they tried this, too).
3. Yes, you must stay at the dinner table until everyone is finished even if you make yourself throw up on your plate.
4. Do not make yourself throw up at the dinner table just because you don't like what I'm serving.
5. No, you may not have brownies for dinner.
6. This is for my DS3: No, you may not go sit in timeout to avoid eating your green beans.
7. We have a variation on the "unless you are dying" rule, too.
8. No, you may not sit IN the toilet. Or put your feet in while you are sitting on the seat. Or put your hands in and scoop water onto the floor.
9. No sitting on the door to the dishwasher. DS3 did this once and pulled the whole dishwasher out of the cabinet (he is a big boy at 43 inches and 59 pounds).
10. Poop is not paint.
11. This is for my DS5: No putting a laundry basket on top of your brother and sitting on it so he can't get out.
12. If I wipe the snot off your face, do not look at me and act all upset because you were "going to eat that". Eww!

There are several more weird things that I say, I just can't remember them all.

hahaha to number 12!!

 

[ohanaMAMA]

1. You may not for any reason go outside after mommy and daddy are gone to bed.

2. once the flat iron begins to smoke pull your hair out of it.

3. cake is not breakfast

 

[phillmolly]

These are a few. Most of these rules pertain to the DS3. Only some have been put in place because of the DD6.

Do not play in the litter box, or the cats' food dish.
Do not put the cats' food into their water dish just so you can watch it swell up.
Do not play in the sink (3 year old son will dump a whole container of hand soap in the sink, fill it up and we will have suds all over the bathroom.)
No riding blankets, pillows, laundry baskets or boxes down the stairs.
No burping or farting noises at the table.
Stay out of my closet.(I have a big walk-in and the kids will go in there and play with my clothes.
Keep your fingers out of the food on the kitchen counter. (My son seems to think it is his duty to put his fingers into any food out on the counter)
No flushing Hot Wheels down the toilet.
Pee in the toilet only. (Caught son standing in his room with his Tonka dump truck, back arched, making a pee stream across the room into the truck)
Keep the toilet paper on the roller My son will unroll an entire roll of TP into a pile on the floor then I have to spend the next 30 min. carefully rolling it back onto the roll the best I can)

Everytime we are ready to enter a public place I have to repeat: There will be no running ahead; screaming; pulling things off the shelves; temper tantrums; or hitting, punching, kicking, or touching each other.

So this whole thread made me smile, but since my almost two year is asleep next to me, I couldn't LOL, untill I read about peeing on the truck! I am so lucky that I didn't wake him up! I can see having that rule in a year or so.

We don't have to many rules right now although we do have a few when we go out in public, do not put your hand up mommys shorts and try to pull down her underwear, and do not try to wear mommys shirt at the same time as mommy.

 

[counselormom]

,
9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

ROFL!

Me too ! That is stinkin' hiliarious! I want to come hang out with the kids and granny!

We have two rules:

Rule#1 If we aren't in the mood for visitors and the doorbell
rings and you hear Mom yell "Hit the Floor!!" everyone must immediately
turn off the lights , lay flat in the floor and stay that way until I give the all clear.

Rule#2 You must never, ever tell MIL about rule #1.

 

[grafxgirl]

I love this one... they sound like what my kids would do.


And I am glad I am not the only one with no licking rules. My DS who just turned 5 still has to lick everything. Despite my constant reminding him that if he gets sick he is going to the doctors.

I have a new rule to add to my list after our trip to Walmart. DS3 wanted to ride in the cart, so I put him in the grocery part of the cart since his legs are getting too long to put him into the seat. At one point, I caught him holding his flip flop in his hand licking the entire bottom of it!

As I was explaining to him that he is not supposed to lick the bottom of his shoes because he has no idea what kinds of disgusting things are on the ground that could make him sick, a sympathetic lady looked at me and said "Dear, I've been there myself when my son was little. Hang in there."

So new rule is: Do not under any circumstances lick the bottom of your shoes.

 

[Rylee]

A few things I find myself repeating...

Fight nice!

DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD.

• Joey, stop taking Jake's food.
• Jake, share, let Joey have a bite.

Don't leave the house wearing my favorite bra when I have somewhere to go!

NO PLAYING BALL IN THE HOUSE!

• Hitting a rolled up pair of socks with a light saber, IS playing ball.
• Playing catch with Xmas bulbs, IS playing ball.
• Running while carrying a stuff animal tucked under your arm and having your brother tackle you, IS playing ball.
• Trying to throw beanie-babies through a coat hanger, IS playing ball.

"On your feet, lose your seat," does not apply when I made your sibling get up to help me for a minute.

TAKE TURNS.

• "I called it first," is not a rule. Take turns.
• "I had it first, saw it first, got here first," is not a rule. Take turns.

You are in a pool... stop complaining someone "splashed you and got you wet!"

NO PILLOW FIGHTS.

• Ok, so it's a couch cushion, stop using it to have a pillow fight!
• Yea, I can see they're stuffed animals, stop using them for a pillow fight.

It doesn't matter, who got it out! If you played with it, help pick it up!

KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

• Your fingers are part of your hands.
• Well then, keep your feet to yourself!

Don't bring your arguments in the bathroom while I'm in the shower.
Don't bring me a jar of jelly to open when I'm in the shower.
When playing Hide & Seek, you can NOT hide in the shower when I'm in it!

 

[Tinkh]

Me too ! That is stinkin' hiliarious! I want to come hang out with the kids and granny!

We have two rules:

Rule#1 If we aren't in the mood for visitors and the doorbell
rings and you hear Mom yell "Hit the Floor!!" everyone must immediately
turn off the lights , lay flat in the floor and stay that way until I give the all clear.

Rule#2 You must never, ever tell MIL about rule #1.

LOL! You all are welcome to join our crazy crew for a DIS meet if we are ever all together. My family are so crazy hehe. I am liking the hit the floor rule. Might have to implement that around here.

 

[grafxgirl]

A few things I find myself repeating...

Fight nice!

DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD.

• Joey, stop taking Jake's food.
• Jake, share, let Joey have a bite.

Don't leave the house wearing my favorite bra when I have somewhere to go!

NO PLAYING BALL IN THE HOUSE!

• Hitting a rolled up pair of socks with a light saber, IS playing ball.
• Playing catch with Xmas bulbs, IS playing ball.
• Running while carrying a stuff animal tucked under your arm and having your brother tackle you, IS playing ball.
• Trying to throw beanie-babies through a coat hanger, IS playing ball.

"On your feet, lose your seat," does not apply when I made your sibling get up to help me for a minute.

TAKE TURNS.

• "I called it first," is not a rule. Take turns.
• "I had it first, saw it first, got here first," is not a rule. Take turns.

You are in a pool... stop complaining someone "splashed you and got you wet!"

NO PILLOW FIGHTS.

• Ok, so it's a couch cushion, stop using it to have a pillow fight!
• Yea, I can see they're stuffed animals, stop using them for a pillow fight.

It doesn't matter, who got it out! If you played with it, help pick it up!

KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

• Your fingers are part of your hands.
• Well then, keep your feet to yourself!

Don't bring your arguments in the bathroom while I'm in the shower.
Don't bring me a jar of jelly to open when I'm in the shower.
When playing Hide & Seek, you can NOT hide in the shower when I'm in it!

These sound like things I say to my kids on a daily basis. Somehow they find ways to circumvent the rules. My kids are more creative than I was at their age!

 

[laughinplace199]

Do not stand on the toilet seat while brushing your teeth. (It took me a while to figure out why the right ankle area of DS's pajamas pants were wet.)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Your nose is not a glove so keep your fingers out of it.

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

The one that pops out right now is from our Disney contract (we create and sign a contract right before we leave for our trips to make sure we are all on the same page....)

The families favorite is :

The family that pees together be's together.

In other words, when one goes to the bathroom, we all do

 

[crostorfer]

I wish that I had a witty saying to go with it, but in our house different foods have "seasons". I do not make chili in the spring or summer. EVER. Chili is a fall/winter food. Its crazy, I know, and it drives my husband nuts, buts it's just how I roll. I will, however, eat ice cream all year long, but chili? Nope. Not making it until Labor Day.

 

[HerdOHuds]

#1 You are not spiderman. Do not climb the walls. (There is a chair rail around the boys' room. The three beds are pushed into 3 corners. I have caught more than one boy standing on an INCH AND A HALF railing with their arms splayed out.)

#2 The living room is not a jungle gym. Stop jumping from the couch to the chair to the bench to the other chair.

#3 No running in the kitchen. No toys in the kitchen.

#4 Happy Meal toys are not made to last forever. (Can I get an Amen!?)