OT - 8 year old home alone?

[NHdisneylover]

For my kids, yes. Both took the Red Cross Staying Home Alone course at 8 and both did stay alone occasionally at that age (and by the time my younger was 8 he was also used to being home with just his sister now and again--she is two years older).
Both kids handled it well and are pretty mature and responsible for their ages. DD in particular. When she was 10 and our neighbor's son was 14 the neighbors would call before leaving the 14 year old home alone to see if I OR DD would be home in case he needed help He ended up getting stung by a bee sting that summer and panicking and coming to DD for help. She handled it great
She was also babysitting (by request of the parents) for a neighbor girl who had an 18 year old sister when she was 10 because the parents trusted my DD at 10 more than their DD at 18.

 

[NHdisneylover]

No, but it's against the rules here. They have to be 13 (I think) before they can be left alone.

Actually it is not against the rules in Hawaii--no specified age:

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

[gillenkl]

no way.

 

[tmarquez]

No, I wouldn't (my DD is 7) because I think there is a big difference between knowing what to do and doing it. I'd be much more concerned with my child climbing on a chair and falling off or turing on the microwave with a spoon in it and not knowing what to do than a break-in.

I guess what I'm learning most here is that kids are totally different and that makes a big difference. For example, my DD is 7 too and I would never worry about her falling off a chair or putting something in the microwave. She's not a climber or a risk taker, and she's learned the rules of the microwave since she first started using it a couple of years ago. With her, I think I'd worry most that she might get scared and let her own imagination run wild (an intruder, etc).

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Well, yesterday I was reading this thinking a mature 8 year old would be fine to stay home for a short time. I actually leave my 9 year old home once in a while for 1 hour or less. I haven't done it with the 8 year old yet.

I wouldn't worry about intruders. We live in a rural area that feels safe to me.

Now, last night something happened that made me rethink things. My 8 year old had an episode where he couldn't breath. My DH had to call 911. By the time they got here my DS was still having difficulty breathing. He was just taking very shallow breaths and couldn't talk at all to answer their questions. We had to go to the emergency room. They never found out what caused the episode, and he is fine now. My DS is a healthy child. He doesn't have breathing problems. Now this did happen before about 3 years ago and they never found anything then either. We didn't think it would happen again.

My point being... What would he have done if he were home alone? He couldn't even stand up let alone go find the phone. He would have been terrified even if he was okay in the end. I wouldn't have wanted him to go through that alone.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, yesterday I was reading this thinking a mature 8 year old would be fine to stay home for a short time. I actually leave my 9 year old home once in a while for 1 hour or less. I haven't done it with the 8 year old yet.

I wouldn't worry about intruders. We live in a rural area that feels safe to me.

Now, last night something happened that made me rethink things. My 8 year old had an episode where he couldn't breath. My DH had to call 911. By the time they got here my DS was still having difficulty breathing. He was just taking very shallow breaths and couldn't talk at all to answer their questions. We had to go to the emergency room. They never found out what caused the episode, and he is fine now. My DS is a healthy child. He doesn't have breathing problems. Now this did happen before about 3 years ago and they never found anything then either. We didn't think it would happen again.

My point being... What would he have done if he were home alone? He couldn't even stand up let alone go find the phone. He would have been terrified even if he was okay in the end. I wouldn't have wanted him to go through that alone.

That sounds very terrifying and I am so glad he is okay now Yes that could have well been a tragedy had he been home alone--then again such a thing could be a tragedy if a 15 year old, or 35 year old is home alone too.

 

[tmarquez]

Well, yesterday I was reading this thinking a mature 8 year old would be fine to stay home for a short time. I actually leave my 9 year old home once in a while for 1 hour or less. I haven't done it with the 8 year old yet.

I wouldn't worry about intruders. We live in a rural area that feels safe to me.

Now, last night something happened that made me rethink things. My 8 year old had an episode where he couldn't breath. My DH had to call 911. By the time they got here my DS was still having difficulty breathing. He was just taking very shallow breaths and couldn't talk at all to answer their questions. We had to go to the emergency room. They never found out what caused the episode, and he is fine now. My DS is a healthy child. He doesn't have breathing problems. Now this did happen before about 3 years ago and they never found anything then either. We didn't think it would happen again.

My point being... What would he have done if he were home alone? He couldn't even stand up let alone go find the phone. He would have been terrified even if he was okay in the end. I wouldn't have wanted him to go through that alone.

That must have been so scary...glad he is ok.

 

[nessz79]

I had to be in an after school program until middle school when I was a kid. There weren't many 5th graders, but there were a few of us. I hated it and wished I could just be at home. However, I would have been home alone for 2 hours and my parents weren't going to consider that.

I became a latchkey kid in middle school out of necessity. Most people would think I was the perfect mature kid, but I still did things like skip school on occasion. My mom still stayed home with me when I was sick. Although I was always safe when staying home alone, I used to have nightmares about people coming and pounding on the door. I obviously must have been insecure about the situation.

That being said, I think middle school (6th grade here) would be appropriate to leave kids at home for brief periods of time. Most schools at this age don't have before or after school programs and often both parents have to work.

I think 8 is way too young, mature or not.

 

[brockash]

I have an 8 year old son and I don't let him run around the neighborhood by himself or go unseen from me for more than a few mins., I've just started letting him ride his bike around the block with a friend, but I make him check-in as soon as he's back. I know, I used to do it all the time when I was a kid, but IDK.
Honestly I think I would feel pretty comfortable with leaving him at home by himself for 30 mins-an hr. I won't, mainly because it's it's reccomended that kids are at least 12. I'd rather veer on the side of caution, but he's always been a very cautious kid and he follows the rules ect., so I do think I'd feel comfortable leaving him home for a short period of time, but he won't get that freedom until he's at least 12. Now my daughter on the other hand, well she may never be left at home alone...she's only 3 right now, but very different than my ds.

 

[Britgirlus]

I have to admit I'm pretty amused by how many posters wouldn't leave their kids alone in case of unexpected emergencies. I'm trying to figure out exactly what could happen while I was out that has never happened when I've been home ? My son turned 7 in June - he's pretty smart, but still, he's only 7. Having said that - I really cannot imagine what catastrophe could befall him in my absence ? I have never left him alone, as there has been no need - and I probably won't in the forseeable future, as, again, there is no need (and I don't think the law allows it here yet) - but, I do let him walk 1 1/2 blocks to and from school every day - and during the summer, I let him walk to his school for a summer gardening program twice a week - AND he had to cross a street at the lights. He's an only child, and we are "older" parents, but I am trying to make an effort not to smother him - it isn't easy, but I feel, in the long run, only good can come out of letting kids have a little independence at a young age - smothering them until they are young teens isn't doing anyone any good.

 

[nessz79]

I have to admit I'm pretty amused by how many posters wouldn't leave their kids alone in case of unexpected emergencies. I'm trying to figure out exactly what could happen while I was out that has never happened when I've been home ? My son turned 7 in June - he's pretty smart, but still, he's only 7. Having said that - I really cannot imagine what catastrophe could befall him in my absence ? I have never left him alone, as there has been no need - and I probably won't in the forseeable future, as, again, there is no need (and I don't think the law allows it here yet) - but, I do let him walk 1 1/2 blocks to and from school every day - and during the summer, I let him walk to his school for a summer gardening program twice a week - AND he had to cross a street at the lights. He's an only child, and we are "older" parents, but I am trying to make an effort not to smother him - it isn't easy, but I feel, in the long run, only good can come out of letting kids have a little independence at a young age - smothering them until they are young teens isn't doing anyone any good.

I don't think anyone is saying the chances of a catastrophe are high. However, I can think of many things that an 8 year old just isn't equipped to deal with yet.

I think it also depends very much on where you live: the local culture of that area/neighborhood, the design of your neighborhood, etc.

 

[rparmfamily]

Actually it is not against the rules in Hawaii--no specified age:

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

Actually it is. I live in military housing. I pulled out my handbook. Ages 10 and up can be alone for up to 3 hrs, but not overnight. Can not be overnight until age 16.

Children under 12 can not be responsible for others. (babysitting)

The state of HI requires that children under 16 must be accompanied by adults between the hours of 2200-0400. But otherwise, no rules about age minimums, which explains a lot if you've ever been around the schools/roads,etc here after the bell rings!

"Children less than 10 years old may not walk to school or other supervised activities alone. Children less than 10 years old cannot be left unsupervised at bus stops, public facilities, residences, in vehices or recreational areas, and cannot walk to school alone."

 

[NHdisneylover]

Actually it is. I live in military housing. I pulled out my handbook. Ages 10 and up can be alone for up to 3 hrs, but not overnight. Can not be overnight until age 16.

Children under 12 can not be responsible for others. (babysitting)

The state of HI requires that children under 16 must be accompanied by adults between the hours of 2200-0400. But otherwise, no rules about age minimums, which explains a lot if you've ever been around the schools/roads,etc here after the bell rings!

"Children less than 10 years old may not walk to school or other supervised activities alone. Children less than 10 years old cannot be left unsupervised at bus stops, public facilities, residences, in vehices or recreational areas, and cannot walk to school alone."

So--no it is not illegal in Hawaii but yes it is against military rules-different things. Sorry for the confusion--the best i had to go on was the location in your avatar since you did not say what in your post--thus my clarifying Hawaii when I wrote that post I wanted to point it out because people often think it is illegal from heresay when it is not in fact in their locations. You see that all the time on these boards

 

[rparmfamily]

So--no it is not illegal in Hawaii but yes it is against military rules-different things. Sorry for the confusion--the best i had to go on was the location in your avatar since you did not say what in your post--thus my clarifying Hawaii when I wrote that post I wanted to point it out because people often think it is illegal from heresay when it is not in fact in their locations. You see that all the time on these boards

No problem, that's why I used "against the rules" vs illegal LOL. Splitting hairs but in this case it matters LOL. Though me excluding the detail of military housing makes quite a bit of difference!

Though really...walk by any school here on the island, kids are everywhere after the bell rings. There is library by one of the schools is the local "babysitter."

 

[NHdisneylover]

No problem, that's why I used "against the rules" vs illegal LOL. Splitting hairs but in this case it matters LOL. Though me excluding the detail of military housing makes quite a bit of difference!

Though really...walk by any school here on the island, kids are everywhere after the bell rings. There is library by one of the schools is the local "babysitter."

Funny--I was a librarian in New Hampshire--the school buses stopped at the library just to drop kids off because we were also used as unofficial babysitters.

 

[disney*mom*82]

I have left my children home along one time in a rare instance, they were 8 and 10 and it was like 5-10 minutes. I talked to one on the cell phone the whole time. What had happened was DH is a teacher and had a loaner car while his got work done, on his way to school (in a different town) the loaner car broke down, luckily it wasnt too fr fromm home. Our kids were eating breakfast and preparing for school. I went and picked up DH from down the road and ran back home with him, for him to take my car and FIL had to come take the kids to their schools.

Other than that no, wouldnt do it and they are 10 and 13 now. We live in a very rural area, we do have a population of about 75 here, that is it. Im still not comfortable with either of them being home alone. I was left home alone with my sister from kindergarten up, we would walk home from school (about a 15minute walk), and were home along for about 2 hours every day. Nothing ever happened, but times and things change.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have left my children home along one time in a rare instance, they were 8 and 10 and it was like 5-10 minutes. I talked to one on the cell phone the whole time. What had happened was DH is a teacher and had a loaner car while his got work done, on his way to school (in a different town) the loaner car broke down, luckily it wasnt too fr fromm home. Our kids were eating breakfast and preparing for school. I went and picked up DH from down the road and ran back home with him, for him to take my car and FIL had to come take the kids to their schools.

Other than that no, wouldnt do it and they are 10 and 13 now. We live in a very rural area, we do have a population of about 75 here, that is it. Im still not comfortable with either of them being home alone. I was left home alone with my sister from kindergarten up, we would walk home from school (about a 15minute walk), and were home along for about 2 hours every day. Nothing ever happened, but times and things change.

Your 13 year old can't be left home alone?! Does she have special needs? I honestly don't know of a single 13 year old who has this rule. Dd14 has been left now for about 4 years, and she and her friends spend a lot of time at each other's homes without adults (most have working parents). She is totally mature enough to stay home alone, with friends, or watching younger children. I know she would know what to do in an emergency. We started with an hour, and now she just comes and goes (not rural here - she just walked to shoprite).

Are your children allowed to be out without adult supervision? I love how cellphones have made it easier to keep in touch (and I know won't help her escape an abduction, nor the getting striked by lightening 9 times, which I think is more likely).

 

[4forMe]

Your 13 year old can't be left home alone?! Does she have special needs? I honestly don't know of a single 13 year old who has this rule. Dd14 has been left now for about 4 years, and she and her friends spend a lot of time at each other's homes without adults (most have working parents). She is totally mature enough to stay home alone, with friends, or watching younger children. I know she would know what to do in an emergency. We started with an hour, and now she just comes and goes (not rural here - she just walked to shoprite).

Are your children allowed to be out without adult supervision? I love how cellphones have made it easier to keep in touch (and I know won't help her escape an abduction, nor the getting striked by lightening 9 times, which I think is more likely).

Since that DISer lives in Illinois, no, the 13 year old can't be left home alone. It's illegal in Illinois to be left home alone if you are under the age of 14.

I know plenty of people that do it anyway. I have no idea how and when it became law that you had to be age 14 in Illinois to be left alone. I became a latchkey kid in the 70's at age 10 with no problems at all. Also, plenty of girls were babysitting starting at age 12 during my childhood.

 

[CdnCarrie]

That would be totally illegal here. If you left an 8 year old alone and something happened you would be charged with abandonment under federal law and probably lose your child.

Here you have to be 12 to babysit. Kids can be left alone at age 10 but if something does happen the parents have to prove that they were adequately prepared to be home alone (taken the Home Alone course, had a neighbour or relative they could call, etc) or the parents would be charged.

 

[CdnCarrie]

By the time dd14 was 12, she was staying home for hours at a time, and sometimes watching her siblings! Heck, last year she couldn't understand why she couldn't stay home alone all night long. She was paid to babysit other children by the time she was 13.

I'd leave dd9 home alone for up to an hour. Ds7 will probably never be left alone . Of course, I'm the parent who let her kids start walking to school at ages 7 and 9.

Lots of us don't have this choice. It's the law. It's not our parenting style that we're discussing here.