OT - 8 year old home alone?

[tmarquez]

I've seen that laws regarding leaving a child home alone vary by state, with some states having no minimum age at all.

With that being said, knowing YOUR child, would you leave your 8 year old home alone after school? For 30 minutes? An hour? Longer?

Personally my first reaction was no. But then I started thinking about it. My DD is almost 8 and there are many days when she gets home from school, grabs a snack, then runs off with the neighborhood kids not to be really seen again until it's time to come in for dinner.

I would think the odds of something going wrong are much lower with her alone inside our house, then when she's out playing.

 

[mom2val]

My dd is 9 will be 10 in 2 months. She has never been left alone. She also is not allowed to go off with neighborhood kids and not be seen again until dinner. She has kids she plays with but if they are not in house or backyards a parent is always watching.


So in answer to your question No I would not leave dd home after school even for 30 mins.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I have a 9 year year old and I would not be comfortable leaving him home alone at all. I guess it depends on the maturity of the child, but I couldn't do it. When I leave my older children home alone they aren't allowed to go outside, no way would I let them leave to go play with their friends. All it would take is the child mentioning for whatever reason that I'm not home, then everyone would be inside my house and who knows what could happen.

Especially at 8, it would be easy for someone to talk your child into doing something they shouldn't be doing no matter how responsible you think they are. In my experience, all it would take is one older "cool" kid or even a "bad" adult.

And you would have to consider if your child knows what to do if there's an emergency or even just a thunderstorm.

All that being said, we live in safe, rural area. We know all of our neighbors. My 9yo is CPR and first aid certified, we have and have practiced a fire escape plan and have discussed at length what to do for different scenarios. I still would not feel comfortable leaving him home alone unless I was only at a neighbor's house.

 

[tmarquez]

When I leave my older children home alone they aren't allowed to go outside, no way would I let them leave to go play with their friends. All it would take is the child mentioning for whatever reason that I'm not home, then everyone would be inside my house and who knows what could happen.

This was definately a rule for me when I was left home as a child. No playing outside and nobody in the house. I wasn't allowed to answer the door. But I don't really remember how old I was.

 

[SaraJayne]

I leave my 9 year old DD alone for 30 mins max right now. Obviously, as she gets older, that time will increase.

The rules are she must stay in the house, no using the stove, no answering the door (even if it's someone she knows) and no answering the phone unless it's DH or I's cell phones (we have caller ID).

She is old enough to be here for a short time alone. I *never* left my DS alone here when he was 9. No way could he have handled it.

 

[cancer_survivor_06]

I have been faced w/ this similar situation this year and while my dd is home for less than 30 mins I am actually having trouble w/ it. She will be 10 next month and she knows not to leave the house, make sure the doors are locked, and as soon as she gets in to call me so I know she is home. It is only two days a week after school she gets off of the bus at about 4 and my younger daughter gets out of therapy at 4. It takes me about 15 mins to drive home and that is if I catch all of the red lights. While my dd is mature for her age lately she has been going through this phase where she worries and panics this past week was the first time we tried it and she was ready to call my mom or my grandmother both live in the same subdivision w/ us and not even 5 mins away. If you are fairly comfortable w/ the idea and set up a plan we have a board that we post notes on so I will leave one there if I am gone for any other reason than dd's therapy and the other steps to follow than I say try and see how it works out. maybe leave for 15 mins and come back and talk about it to see how your dd feels.

 

[heather13]

When I was 8/9 years old I started staying home by myself after school for about an hour before my mom got home. I was required to call her when I walked in the door and was not allowed to have any friends over. I also walked home with the same set of kids each day (most of whom had moms who stayed at home or older siblings). Granted this was 30 years ago but I don't think it's completely unheard of today. If the situation is acceptable and the child is responsible, shouldn't be an issue. After all, around here many kids begin babysitting at age 12 (not that I am personally comfortable with THAT - but some folks are).

 

[bellebud]

8yo - I wouldn't feel comfortable.

that being said - I bet there are some 8yo's left alone, and luckily, nothing has happened that they needed to act in a mature way to... so the parent thinks "my 8yo is fine home alone"...

This is hazy in my mind, but I recall reading here and there about studies that say people don't develop a certain part of their reasoning abilities until BEGINNING 12yo... some later... again, kind of hazy to me, you'd have to look this up. And this wasn't a "my kid's mature" kind of thing - it was a physical development in the brain that usually doesn't take place until early teen years.

I'd be more concerned with the child coming home to an empty house that's been empty all day - more than if on a Saturday morning, the child was left for 15 minutes for a run to the corner store and you know the neighbor is home - knim? If a parent is there right before and right after - making sure the toater oven is unplugged, knowing the door is locked, maybe taking the phone off the hook, doing whatever safety checks right before leaving the child alone - I myself still wouldn't do it at 8yo, but I could more see that than an 8yo coming home to an empty house that has been empty all day. My mind would start wandering "what if child forgets to lock the door behind them.. what if someone broke in during the day and the child 'catches' them inside" (my bros house was broken into in the middle of the day - he lives where you'd never think this would happen - glad no one was home). And yes, this could also happen during a 15 minute deli run - that's why I wouldn't do it in the first place.

just my quick thoughts on the subject...

 

[Chelley00]

I have a very mature 8 year old daughter. No way in heck would I leave her home alone. It's not that I don't trust her, it's that I don't trust the world

So what if they doors are locked and she's inside? Pedophiles watch routine, doors are easily kicked in, houses are broken into before the bus arrives etc.

I'm not going to risk my child's life for a few minutes of convenience for me.

 

[missmomof4]

My son is 11 and I would not leave him alone. Too much can happen like pp stated: pedophiles, break ins, fires, etc. Would they know how to react in an emergency or panic? It's one thing to practice emergency plans but when faced with a real emergency and they are all alone... scares me!

 

[pooh4evr]

I have left my 9 yr old home a few times when I have been making dinner and realized I needed something (run to walgreens) or if a younger one was taking a nap and I needed to pick someone up from brownies or something --maybe 15 minutes or so-- they can not go outside, answer the phone or doors. I guess I started staying home alone and watching my younger siblings at about that age, I started babysitting other kids, and couins at 13.

 

[delmar411]

I haven't had to face that issue w/ my kids but I was a latch-key child starting at 8. I was home alone for about an hour or so every day after school. I had a list of chores to get done so I was quite busy doing those and that kept me out of trouble. LOL

By 8, a child should know how to call 911 in case of an emergency, get out of the house in case of a fire, know not to open the door for anyone, etc.

And in this day of cell phones and nanny-cams, I find it hard to believe a child wouldn't be safer home alone than when I was a child.

I see no problem with it as long as you feel your child is mature enough and can handle it.

 

[kamik86]

I was home alone for an hour by the time I was in third grade... so I would have been 8 then. It may have been earlier but I know it was by third grade because one day I came home in winter and slipped in the drive way. I hit the ice hard and there was a rut so I cut my chin open. Lucily my older sister decided to stop by even though she knew no one would be home yet and it would just be me for a while after that (she really had no idea why) and was there to tell me I needed stiches and bring me to the hospital.

I knew my parents phone numbers and they would have been there in 5 min. but since that is the only time I had ever hurt myself badly I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to figure out that it wasn't just a "wash it and put a bandaid on" kind of cut. I hadn't thought it was that bad (it hadn't even hurt that bad and it was on my chin so I couldn't see it)

 

[gr8mommy]

By 8, a child should know how to call 911 in case of an emergency, get out of the house in case of a fire, know not to open the door for anyone, etc.

Knowing what to do when asked is quite different than being able to perform in a real situation. Developmentally speaking, kids don't have the judgement necessary to cross the street alone until 9 or 10. It has nothing to do with intelligence or maturity, but skills like visual perception and anticipation of risk.

I have just in the past 6 months started to leave my oldest alone, during the day, for an hour or two at a time.

 

[Chelley00]

And in this day of cell phones and nanny-cams, I find it hard to believe a child wouldn't be safer home alone than when I was a child.

I think it's way less safe. Back when I was a kid, I stayed home alone and watched my little brother from about the age of 10. However, we could also go outside and play all night and not have to worry about getting kidnapped, drugs, pedophiles, bullies (because everyone knew everyone else) It's a different world now.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would not leave an 8 year old alone at all. I think my son was 10 or 11 the first time I left him. I think leaving a child in the house while you run out for a few minutes is different than a young child coming into the house lone.

 

[brymolmom]

I have an 8 year old - about the most alone he gets right now is if I go for a run around our neighborhood and leave him in the house (usually he and his sis 6 ride their bikes with me but sometimes he's drawing and wants to stay in). I have the house in my view for 80% of the time and only go out for a 1/2 hour or so total.

As for the pedophiles, etc. - honestly, when are you planning on leaving your kids? Even a 13 year old would easily be overcome by someone with bad enough intentions - but he/she is certainly old enough to be home alone.

Unfortunatley, bad things happen - but my view is that if someone wants my kids bad enough - they'll just hit me over the head with a shovel when I'm getting out of my car. A sad thought - but very true. I guess my point is that having my eyes on them 24/7 doesn't necessarily keep them safe, IMO.

My plan is to allow my kids short times at home by the age of 10 or 11...then longer periods at 12 and 13. I figure either or both will be babysitting by age 13 anyway - so I'll need to make sure they can handle being alone!

Oh and I don't think it's less safe....I just think we know WAY MORE about the bad things that happen due to technology - it was THERE when we were kids, we were just gloriously ignorant of most of it!

 

[averysmom]

I was a latch-key kid - starting at about 7 1/2??? Thinking about it shocks me though - my ds is 8 and I would never even think about letting him stay home alone A very different world.

What I think doesn't matter though - in our province it is illegal to leave a child alone until they are 11 - and they are not allowed to be left alone in charge of younger children until they are 12.

 

[tadamom]

I have an almost 9 year old DS and there is absolutely no way I would let him stay at home alone.

While my opinion is somewhat clouded by where we live, outside Atlanta in a super nice suburb in an upscale apartment and the longest I have ever left him alone is when I have taken garbage out to the dumpster, so maybe 5 minutes. Even though I think he would know what to do in an emergency, I just could never take that chance.

Like someone else, it's not my child I don't trust...it's the rest of the world!

Just my opinion.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our older dd was very nervous being home alone, so she was 11 before she decided she was okay with it. And that's for an hour at a time.

This year, she's really matured, and I know she'd be capable of coming home after school alone if needed.