DISLOVE said:
The implication that my sister (or any other woman who chooses to spend some time away from her baby) takes their baby for granted is offensive.
I appreciate your comments and your persepective, it just seems that the undertone from people who would not choose to leave their baby with a very competent and loving father... that you think you are a better mother or you are making a better choice for your baby.
That is infuriating...
I am sorry if you find it offensive. But all I can say, is once you have had a child who has almost died, your perspective changes. I don't expect you or anyone else who hasn't had to sit in a hospital room for months not knowing if you baby is going to live to possibly understand. That is a bond that is borne of horrible tragedy and it changes you. You don't think the same way afterwards, your priorities change, everything about your life changes. I have met with hundreds of other mothers who had sick children in both the NICU and later on in the PICU. Mothers whose children have cancer, genetic disorders that are slowly killing them, small children waiting for transplants, you name it. Life and death issues consume you every single day. You walk out of the hospital after sleeping in a rocking chair for four days in a row. It's your first breathe of fresh air. You haven't even thought about eating in days but you know you should. You walk past people who are just living every day life...talking, laughing, eating takeout food in the park. And you feel like an alien from outer space, because you are in a completely different place. And all you can think about is how grateful you will be to wake up one day in your own bed in your own house and the only thing you have to worry about is what to cook for dinner and if you time to run to the grocery store today.
And, when you finally do get the chance to wake up in your own bed for the first time in almost a year, and your child is there and you can actually hold her whenever you want, it's a completely different sense of appreciation. It's been four years now and I still wake up every morning with such an intense sense of gratitude, overwhelmed at how lucky I am to be waking up in my own house while tens of thousands of mothers never went to sleep the night before, sitting a cold hospital chair watching over there sick child and praying that they can make it through one more night. I am very acutely aware, every single day of my life, what a gift it is to be released from that worry. Most people don't think twice about it--- *that's* what I mean by taking things for granted. I don't assume my children are going to be there forever and everything perfectly fine. I realize that time in this world is very, very uncertain and very very precious, and my children are only young for a very, very short period of time. And I have sat with mothers who have been crying their eyes out with regret over things they wish they could have done differently if "only they knew" what was going to happen. If only they knew that their only child was going to be dead of cancer by the time he turned three, if only they knew that there wasn't going to be another birthday, another Christmas, another chance to spend time together. I have seen mothers cry because of time *they didn't spend* with their children, I have never ever seen a mother in the hospital with a terminally ill child who was regretting all time they spent with their child instead of doing other things. When it all boils down to the essence of what is important, I have seen people who make these judgements and how priorities change. That is what I was trying to get at.
I would also like to repeat what I said earlier, because I feel like it is being glossed over
I fully recognize that this is my own opinion and it doesn't make any one else a bad mother for disagreeing with me. There are a lot of things I do as a parent that I am sure other people would not agree with. I hope this lady has a nice time, I hope the boys have a nice time, I hope everything works out and she can come back after four days and pick up nursing and have no problems pumping and I hope she enjoys herself. As long as she realizes she is taking a risk that her son will not nurse when she comes back, then she is making an informed decision. But it's not bashing anyone else to simply say that I wouldn't make the same choice.
I really do hope every one has a nice time. My words are simply one, humble opinion. I do not presume to be so full of myself to think that what I would or would not do should have any weight in this decision. Honestly and truly, the only children I have business parenting are my own. I don't wish anyone ill or and certainly wouldn't speak ill of a woman I have never met. I am sure she is a wonderful and caring mother. I just have a different perspective and therefore a very different idea of what I would do in that situation. But I am not in her situation and I am not her.
This is a board to discuss happy things. We are on the Disney FAMILY board and we should be edifying one another and this should be an enjoyable place to discuss our
Disney vacations, not cause stress and make any one else upset. I am sorry that this thread has turned into something the OP did not intend. I am sorry if my words were seen as offensive. I truly hope that everything works out wonderfully and you get to post a trip report after your vacation that everything went better than imagined!
Have a great time.
