Nursing Moms - HELP!

[flminivanmama]

Can't she just take the baby? Personally, my nursing relationship with my child is worth far more than a trip with "the girls". So maybe she doesn't go to Pleasure Island or Jelloyrolls while the rest of you do. Honestly, one of my best trips was with my 4 month old DD (her first). She was very easy to travel with and slept in her stroller much of the time.

yeah that

 

[frogmommy]

I don't know how old the baby is but too young it could really mess up the nursing relationship. She would really have to pump a ton before she left and a ton to keep up the production.

I suggest she call her local LLL for help.

Why not bring the baby in a sling?

I had the same idea about the sling.

Yes, she would have to miss some of the rides and nightlife, but other then that bringing the baby is way more do-able then having to pump all the time. I also think sleeping with a nursing baby might not be as difficult as you imagine. Baby cries, baby eats, baby goes back to sleep, all without having to so much as turn on a light.

 

[brymolmom]

DISLOVE- Very nice of you to ask for thoughts and suggestions to try to make this trip doable for her. Please don't feel guilty at all for not considering some of the suggestions to just bring the baby. I agree that you can't put a newborn on 3 other people in the room. If she had her own room, maybe but the nature of the trip sounds like it's 'kidless'.

I have two little ones myself but definitely understand a need for kidless vacations - not having to worry about crying, eating at fancier restaurants, not having to adhere to a schedule at all - definitely pluses for a change of pace once in awhile.

And who knows how she'll feel about BF'ing in a few months time, maybe she'll be done. If she does want to continue, she'll probably be experienced enough with the baby by then to know whether or not all these suggestions will work and whether the trip will cause any long term difficulties or if it will just be a nice break for her and a nice bonding time for baby and daddy.

My advice - read all the suggestions, play it by ear for now and in a couple months with more experience, let her make the call.

 

[DISLOVE]

DISLOVE-
And who knows how she'll feel about BF'ing in a few months time, maybe she'll be done. If she does want to continue, she'll probably be experienced enough with the baby by then to know whether or not all these suggestions will work and whether the trip will cause any long term difficulties or if it will just be a nice break for her and a nice bonding time for baby and daddy.

My advice - read all the suggestions, play it by ear for now and in a couple months with more experience, let her make the call.

Thank you for your kind words. Today it sound like she might want to go, she's working out the details and trying to decide if she can swing it. She does hope to still be nursing then but isn't too worried about pumping in the parks. She is a dedicated girl and if she decided to do it, she wouldn't look back.

Jack is definitely not going to come, not really an option for this trip. Candice also doesn't feel that she wants him exposed to Disney World so young. She's crazy that way!

Her DH really wants her to go, would love the opportunity to spend the entire weekend as "the boys". I truly appreciate all of the advice, I sent her the thread and she is reading through it now!

I'll let you know what she decides!

Kristy

 

[Steph H]

Yay!!!! That's great. I'm sure she'll enjoy having some fun.

Tell her it CAN be done! Best wishes to her!

 

[raven69david]

Do they have places in the park for nursing moms? We never paid much attention to it until our baby arrived a little less than a year ago. We plan on breaking her from the breast at 12 months, however she will not be stopped altogether by the time we visit in about 2 months. She will be slowly weined (sp?) to whole milk as advised by our pediatrician.

Do they have a special place for nursing moms at each of the parks? Any guide maps i can look at that show the location of these places?

TIA

 

[robinb]

Do they have a special place for nursing moms at each of the parks? Any guide maps i can look at that show the location of these places?

Yes, there are private places to nurse in the Childcare Centers. However, I nursed all over WDW without a problem.

 

[rjthkids]

Can't she just take the baby? Personally, my nursing relationship with my child is worth far more than a trip with "the girls". So maybe she doesn't go to Pleasure Island or Jelloyrolls while the rest of you do. Honestly, one of my best trips was with my 4 month old DD (her first). She was very easy to travel with and slept in her stroller much of the time.

I agree. More than that, she will have to figure out whether or not pumping will work for her. Some mothers can pump a lot, other mothers can't. At four months old, my son was nursing every two hours. And by every two hours, I mean I had 90 minutes in between nursing sessions, from beginning to beginning.

In addition, it can often take up thirty minutes to pump. So, pumping for thirty minutes and then having to pump for another thirty minutes an hour and a half later can certainly get in the way.

If she chooses to not pump as frequently as her baby eats, she will need to anticipate a drop in milk supply by the time she gets home to her child. She needs to anticipate that she will be taking a risk to her milk supply and her nursing relationship to leave for four days.

That being said, there are women who have done it with planning and done it successfully. But, she should simply be prepared that she is taking the risk and whether or not she is comfortable with the risk of jepordizing nursing for a girls vacation. Does she even know if he'll take a bottle? What happens if she doesn't have enough milk stored up, will he even take formula? I know many exclusively breastfed babies that will not drink formula because of the significant taste difference.

Personally, four months is well younger than I would ever consider leaving my children by choice. And she should also seriously consider whether or not she is o.k. with not seeing her new baby for that long. It's one thing to fantasize being away from your baby, and it's a totally different experience to actually *be* away from your baby. A friend of mine was adamant they were going away for a long weekend for their anniversary and left their six month old with the grandparents. After 36 hours away from her son, they ended up back home early because she vastly underestimated how much she was going to miss him.

 

[staci]

She will be slowly weined (sp?) to whole milk as advised by our pediatrician.

\
TIA

Thats the best way to do it, IMHO Ds was weaned over about a 4 month period. We did it so slowly, as neither him nor I were in any hurry. Slowly we would cut out the nursings that were in the middle of the day, then slowly, cut out the morning one, then the evening one, and the last one to go was the 5 am one.

By that age, she will be so good at doing it, that you could really do it anywhere, but you may find that she will be pretty content to nurse in the mornings and evenings, without too many daytime nursings. It just depends on where you will be in the weaning process. I plan on checking out the baby care centers next week, I have never been in one but they sound awesome!! Isnt it crazy at the things you dont pay attention to until you have kids, and then they just kinda take over?

 

[robinb]

Thats the best way to do it, IMHO Ds was weaned over about a 4 month period. We did it so slowly, as neither him nor I were in any hurry.

I allowed my DD to self-wean while I offered whole milk in sippy cups and solid food. She lasted until 2 1/2 years old with only one "nursing" (if you could even call it that) in the morning and the evening for the final 6-8 months. I think the nursing relationship is just that: a relationship. Either party can end the relationship when they wish, the mom by intentionally weaning or the child by stopping nursing. I allowed my DD to make the decision as I was in no hurry. Although I have to admit it was nice to have my body back as my own!

 

[DISLOVE]

Well ladies... Candice did decide to make the trip! We bought her plane tickets and her MVMCP ticket so we are all set to go. She is still a bit apprehensive about leaving for so long but is comforted by the fact that her husband is really looking forward to it! We no doubt will have to console her a bit over the course of the 4 days (she actually will only not see him for 2 of the days though) but most of us will need consoling! I'm leaving my 3 year old behind with my husband and I miss her already!

rgthkids - Jack has already successfully taken many bottles of expressed milk. His daddy feeds him often and Candice has already settled into a routine of nursing and wrapping up with pumping. She had mastitis early on and was told to empty her breasts completely to avoid it again, that's working great for her now. She already has a freezer full of milk that would get him through a long weekend. She'll be working on keeping the supply up so that all is well while she is gone.

I detected a hint of "well I never would..." from some posters. Not that I feel a need to defend her, but, well she is my sister. She is an amazing mother who gives 150% to Jack everyday. I think that she deserves a break and time to relax. I'm glad that she decided to join us on this trip. I also think that it is a GREAT choice for Jack. He will get a lot out of spending some quality bonding time with Daddy. Keep in mind that Candice is not putting her baby with strangers to take off with the girls. He'll be just as happy and well cared for by his daddy. In my opinion, the "bottle feeding" relationship with dad is just as important and should be nurtured!

Candice is prepared for pumping at the baby care centers and the rest of our group is prepared to help her carry her backpack pump around the parks. That is, of course, if it can't be left in the baby care center!

Thanks for your advice and support!

 

[In a hurry]

I wouldn't leave my baby at that age while he is nusring. I have a 3 month old, and have had one case of mastitis. It was incredibly painful and developed after Jeff slept thru the night two nights in a row. I spent two weeks with a fever of 104 and on antibiotics. There isn't any way I would risk messing up the pattern of nursing now. I like nursing, believe it to be the healthiest of options, and wouldn't screw with it just to have a couple of days away.

And, my husband manages to nurture our baby without feeding the baby. Just as he did our daughter.

To some the nursing relationshipl is just more important. It is only for a time period. I am more than willing to make some concessions with my life for this brief committment.

 

[justhat]

That's great that she decided to go! I never consider leaving my child home with Daddy to be a 'bad mom' or anything like that, I mean, if the dad were going and leaving the baby home with mommy no one would even think twice about it. Also, if she took him along no one would say 'poor daddy home alone". So keep that in mind, they're both his parents so does it matter which one is caring for him at any given moment? Of course, I would not have been able to leave my daughter with my husband at that age, but then again, I don't think I could now either. And not because I think it's wrong, I just question what would happen while I'm gone. He's watched her alone for a day here and there and I come home to find out she only ate one meal and then snacked on cookies the rest of the day and then went to bed hours later than her normal bedtime (so she's nice and cranky for me the next day). Also, like I said, she would gag on frozen breastmilk so that would have ruled out that option for me too. My husband is a great playmate for our daughter, but could use some improvment in his parenting skills!

Having had mastitis, I can totally sympathize with that. Pumping never really emptied me like my daughter did though so if not being totally empty can cause recurrence I'd be way scared to not nurse her for a few days. I pumped every feeding for about 2 weeks after the mastitis and it did the job, but nursing definitely made me feel emptier. Hopefully for her your nephew will be sleeping through the night by then, otherwise she'll wake up to some painful breasts!

 

[robinb]

I detected a hint of "well I never would..." from some posters. Not that I feel a need to defend her, but, well she is my sister. She is an amazing mother who gives 150% to Jack everyday. I think that she deserves a break and time to relax. I'm glad that she decided to join us on this trip. I also think that it is a GREAT choice for Jack.

A hint? Ya think? LOL.

Well, I never would.

IMO, the nursing relationship is too important to mess up over a vacation. It is not a GREAT choice for Jack to be off the breast for 4 days (or even 2) especially at 4 months. The bottle is so much easier for them that many babies will refuse the breast after extended bottle feedings. Some babies will nurse again and some will not. I think she should be aware of the possibilty that by taking the vacation that her baby may stop nursing.

Do I think she's a bad mother? No, I am sure she is not. I do think she is making a bad choice. My opinion has nothing to do with how much your sister deserves a break, or how well cared for Jack will be by his father. We all make sacrifices for our children and this would be one of them for me.

In my opinion, the "bottle feeding" relationship with dad is just as important and should be nurtured!

While I agree with the concept that fathers need nuturing time too, it can be done other ways than feeding the baby.

 

[WDWfor5]

Although I rarely post, I was reading this thread and just wanted to say how tough it is to be a new mother. I remember all to well the pressure from family members who decided it would be good for me if I left the baby with Dad or Grandma for a "kids-free event". What no one seems to realize is that nursing or not, babies grow up so fast and it isn't best for mom or baby to be seperated. It's simply societal pressure to fit in and not inconvience other people. The biggest downside to extended seperation, is that the bond is broken. An infant doesn't know that mommy is coming back and assumes they've been abandoned. While they will "get over it", I don't understand doing it in the first place for something as unneccesary as a trip to WDW.

Putting on my flame proof suit now

Jennifer, counting down to disney 1/28/05 with my DH, DD 6, DS 4 and DS 2

 

[NotUrsula]

"The biggest downside to extended seperation, is that the bond is broken."

Extended separation? Come on, now, we are talking about a 3-night separation, which is hardly extended.

There is no guarantee that harm will come to a child who is separated from a parent even for much longer than a measly long weekend. Lots of children have working parents who must leave them for more than three nights, and who manage to grow up perfectly well-adjusted. There are hundreds of US servicewomen currently on deployment who have young children, I wouldn't want to tell any one of them that their choice to serve their country is going to destroy their bond with their children.

A baby of this age will not be traumatized by 3 days without Mommy, as long as that child is in familiar surroundings, has someone who loves him and who will comfort and care for him anytime he needs it. We're not talking about dumping little Jack in his crib in the dark with a propped bottle -- his father will be taking excellent care of him, I am sure. Yes, I know that some children will refuse to nurse once given a bottle for awhile, but that is by no means universal, and the OP has already told us that this child seems to have no trouble with switching back and forth. I'd say that the odds are good that he will not strike.

I traveled for work all the time when DS was an infant, leaving behind expressed milk for him. Our "nursing relationship" was not compromised in the least. If I was there, he nursed, and if I wasn't, he took a bottle. It was not a big deal. His father and paternal grandmother and his daycare provider took care of him in my absence, and they did a great job. He was always happy to see me when I returned, and when I left, he seldom noticed (at least at that age.) What can I say? Eight years on he's just a well-adjusted kid who seems to love BOTH of his parents equally.

 

[staci]

I'm glad your sister decided on what will work FOR HER. I have no doubt that she is a wonderful mother. Her decision to bf alone helps me understand what a selfless person she is, as bf can be very time-consuming for the mom (I did it for 15 months). Since breastfeeding will be such a 'hot' topic, you are likely to get many opinion statements on what would work for others.

For instance, my ds would never take the bottle. He would scream. For hourse. But my bf's ds transitioned easily between bottle and breast. Because of her work schedule, he probably had 50/50, and was totally fine with it. I'm so glad that little Jack is willing to take either, it really is more convienent and less hard on them during separations.

Have a great time! Mom's have the hardest job in the world, we all deserve a little break every now and then! dbil is so great to be excited; Im not sure my dh would have been so eager .

 

[txgirl]

I also was never bred for milk production.

This was me too. I did leave for three days when my third child was 3 months old (pattern of 3's?) Anyway I rented the Mac-Daddy pump from the hospital which I think is a step up from the Medela in the bag (which I also had). It was a super powerful machine and I did just fine, although I never had the Niagara Falls like some women.

I pumped tons before I left and I couldn't pump very much at a time, so I
a)figured out how much milk my baby would need
b)divided that by how much time there was between now and my trip
c)tried to pump twice that much (1 oz here, 2 oz there) and I froze it that way because it was more convenient for dh to feed him this way and not waste any of our precious commodity!!!

I also gave my little peanut a bottle throughout this process. Not very often, but at least one whole bottle a week and an ounce or so every other day so he was used to the bottle.

Sweet Daddy wrote me a novel about their weekend (3 kids and daddy was feeding a breastfed newborn!) Every time that boy slept ate or pooped he wrote it down. It really helped me feel better

I felt like a Mother Cow while I was away and I nearly pumped my b***s off!!! All this to say.....It can be done!

 

[txgirl]

He will get a lot out of spending some quality bonding time with Daddy.

He'll be just as happy and well cared for by his daddy.

In my opinion, the "bottle feeding" relationship with dad is just as important and should be nurtured!

I know everybody is different but this was so true for our son and daddy. I breastfed my Sam for a full year and I truly "get" the breastfeeding bond. Still my husband loved loved loved giving our son a bottle. Samuel would hold his finger and look lovingly into his eyes the same way he did with me! AND I know he still holds that memory of their weekend when I had to be away close to his heart! With my oldest two I don't think I could have left and been as secure which probably hurt him in some ways. Knowing that I trusted him 100% to care for our baby was very important. He was a really proud Daddy (still is) and grew more that weekend that he had the previous 8 years with the other two.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful time!

 

[Dani&Pao'sMom]

I hope you had a great time with Candice and the pumping goes really well. With DD4 my milk supply decreased with each of the three trips I had to make... with DD10months I had filled up two freezers... one is empty already, the other is still almost full....she's weaning herself from the breast because the bottle is faster and easier but she's still getting mommy's milk. Truth be told, each baby is different. Well, my post was to recomend, if she decides to store the milk (I had to throw it away due to international flights.... I can imagine going through customs.... "something to declare?" yeah.... 2 gallons of breast milk ) These are the bags I have used, the brand is Lansinoh. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...1/102-3518269-0254569?v=glance&s=hpc&n=507846

They work great, they can be frozen flat and then they can be stored more easily. I use any rectangular container (plastic, think tupperware) and I put them from the oldest in the front to the newest in the back so I get the oldest first.

Good luck!