Magical Gathering gone Awry (Pics Pg.7-8, Epilogue Pg. 9)

Day 5

It’s around 7 a.m. DW, DD, DS and I are all still in bed. The drapes are closed and the room is pretty dark. DW and I are lying there half awake, but not up and moving around. Fifteen minutes later, grandpa knocks on the door and DW answers. He wants us to know he’s putting his socks on. That’s great. We’re all thrilled. Epcot doesn’t open until 9 a.m. What’s the rush? We get up and start getting ready. The day has promise. This will be our first day with DW’s sister. DW and her sister are pretty close and our kids love their aunt. DW’s sister’s husband (now my BIL) and I were good friends in high school (not as close anymore, but it’s no coincidence we married sisters from Illinois!) so I was looking forward to his arrival.

Anyway, breakfast was again a little bit of a touchy issue. DW’s sister had picked up some fruit on her way to Disney and her parents couldn’t understand why we wanted to go back to the Pepper Market for bacon and eggs (sue me, I like a hot breakfast and cantaloupe is good but won’t fill you up, especially when we’d had dinner around 5 p.m. the day before and hadn’t eaten since). The grandparents were like “Don’t you want some of the fruit?” No, we don’t! DW had asked her sister to bring the fruit for our kids to have as snacks, not as a substitute for breakfast.

DW and I took DS up to the Pepper Market while they had their fruit and they met us as we were finishing our breakfast. We headed for the bus stop en route to Epcot; the bus took forever to come (we watched two buses pass for MK, MGM and AK while waiting for our one Epcot bus). Once there, we went straight to Soarin’, which DW and I had ridden in January and can’t get enough of. We grabbed fastpasses for the whole party, which now numbered nine - minus DS, who is too small to ride it. We saw the “Circle of Life” show upstairs while we waited for our fastpass times for Soarin’.

Like I said, we couldn’t all go on Soarin’ at once because someone had to wait with DS. DW and her sister decided to be the sacrificial lambs and the rest of us went on the ride first. When we came off, DW, her sister and DD went to ride Soarin’ and BIL and I sat and watched DS. The grandparents were part of the watch group at that point, but they were off making toilet runs and looking around to keep busy. Sitting still for 10 minutes isn’t an option.

Unfortunately the Living with the Land ride was shut down (it’s one of DD’s favorites at Epcot), so we left The Land after everyone had ridden Soarin’. DW’s sister’s stepdaughter wanted to see the “Honey, I Shrunk the Audience” show :3dglasses . We saw it last time. It’s not one of my favorites, so I and BIL opted to go get fastpasses for Test Track while the others watched “Honey.” When we got to Test Track, we also got surprise fastpasses to ride Mission Space immediately. I rode Mission Space alone in March 2005 and swore I’d never get on it again. There was that lady died on it last year and I remember feeling very claustrophobic when I rode it before. But I wasn’t going to chicken out with my former high school buddy there, so I rode it again  The second time wasn’t as bad as I remember the first time being. Once you get past the blast off (the G-Force is scary but exhilarating at the same time) it wasn’t that bad and I knew what to expect. When we were done, the rest of the group was almost done with “Honey” and headed over to meet us for Test Track. When it was time for Test Track, we learned the ride was broken and there was no estimate on when it would be back up.

It was around noon at that point, and I was ready to head to the World Showcase (my all-around favorite spot at WDW) for lunch. DW, however, convinced us to ride “Ellen’s Energy Adventure” first. I was skeptical, but it was actually a really cool and informative attraction.

Once that was done, we all headed for Mexico for lunch. We stop at the counter service place and get filled up. Then we go in the Mexico pavilion and ride El Rio del Tiempo.

My heart’s pounding pretty hard now as I get ready to write this next part. So, we get off the ride and start looking around at the crafts and things for sale. DW is taking pictures of DD and DW’s sister and DS in the various sombreros. Then DD starts horsing around, hitting members of the family. I was encouraging her a little bit. It was all in fun. Some of us were getting bored, I guess. And then grandpa loses it. He says something to me about “smacking” my daughter in the face. I just kind of laughed uncomfortably, not sure what to think. Then he goes over to DW and tells her what’s going on. DW didn’t have any idea, so she told him she was sorry and that she would take care of it and called DD over and started talking to her. Grandpa apparently isn’t satisfied. He goes back to DW, gets about two inches from her face, and tells her he’s going to “crack her (DD) in the head.” He tells DW that we’re “ruining his vacation” and asks DW if she wants DD to remember her grandpa “that way.” Grandma says to DW “Let’s just keep going.” Somehow grandma failed to see that Pink Elephant in the Mexican pavilion that was her husband. Perhaps she was trying on one of those large sombreros and it covered her eyes.

My dad has been gone 20 years (car accident), so this guy is the only grandfather my kids have. I actually paid for the grandparents to fly down to see us last October (we rarely see them unless we go to their house) and had a heart-to-heart with grandpa at that time about how I wanted him in my kids’ lives as much as possible (hence this trip to Disney nine months after our last one) since my dad was gone. Anyway, my attitude now is that DD won’t remember either of her grandfathers. Who knows if she’ll remember how her maternal grandfather threatened to hurt her at Disney World?

Sorry for getting sidetracked. Back to the story. I’m across the room a ways, standing next to BIL and don’t hear any of grandpa’s verbal attack on DW at the time. I see DW gather the kids and head for the door. I catch up to her. Apparently she decided to “keep going,” like her mother suggested! She’s really upset and headed for the exit at Epcot. No one else follows us. DW heads for the bus stop and all I know is we’re going back to the hotel room, but she isn’t telling me what her dad said.

We get back to the room at CSR and DW tells me she wants to change resorts or go home because she can’t stand the thought of being around her dad anymore. I called Disney reservations and they recommended I go to the front desk. I do and tell them we’re part of a “Magical Gathering” and that we’ve had some problems with someone in our group and would like to change to another moderate resort if possible. The woman at the desk didn’t ask a lot of questions (wanted to make sure it wasn’t a Disney Cast Member that had upset us!) and switched us to Caribbean Beach at no extra charge in all of about 10 minutes.

I go back to the room and DW is already packing our stuff. We call bell services to have someone help us get all of our stuff out to the van ASAP (we’re afraid they might come back and see us leaving, igniting another confrontation). Luckily, our fears weren’t realized and we got out of CSR safely.

On the way to Caribbean Beach, I ask DW again what her father said to her. She started breaking down and said she couldn’t tell me, that it was too mean. I went in and got us checked in at Caribbean Beach. One of those Magical Express buses from the airport had just gotten there ahead of us (it was probably 3-3:30 p.m.) so I had to wait a while. DW’s sister called her while I was checking us in and asked what happened and if they’d be seeing us again. DW told her no.

We got settled into our room in Building 38 of Trinidad South. It was a water view room, but it was upstairs and we could actually see a lake. The rooms and buildings reminded us more of POFQ and POR, which we really liked. After settling in for a few hours, we decided to go back to Epcot to see Illuminations. As we arrived at Epcot, DD clamored to ride Spaceship Earth. DW talked me into it. Afterwards we had the hardest time finding our stroller. You get really turned around after you come out of that big thing.

We were really afraid of running into DW’s family again, so we laid low. We knew they were in Germany eating at the Biergarten a little earlier in the evening (I hate that we missed out on the Biergarten thing :guilty: ), so we stayed out of the World Showcase area. We were trying to eat at the Garden Grille for dinner, but we got there so late that we had to choose between watching Illuminations and eating counter service downstairs at The Land, or eating at the Garden Grille and no Illuminations. We ate our counter service dinner, and at one point I noticed DW was crying. The whole thing was and has been really rough on her. But she cheered up as much as could be expected and we enjoyed watching Illuminations from a distance. As it was ending, we sped out of the park so we wouldn’t run into DW’s family.

We knew which parks DW’s family would be hitting the final two full days (AK, then MK again) so we just went to the opposite parks on those days and avoided them the rest of the trip. We know how to have a good time as a family at Disney, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. There was this somber mood hanging over DW and I about what had happened, but the kids were still having fun. They didn’t miss the grandparents, but did ask a lot for DW’s sister. Like I said, she lives close by, so they’ll see her again soon.

I’ll come back tomorrow with a report on our final two and a half days. It was disappointing at first, but we made the best of it and still had a lot of fun.
 
OhMari said:
You guys do a nice job of reporting. Where did you write for a newspaper and what do you do now?

I wrote for a paper here in the Atlanta suburbs for about five years. In January, I realized the night time hours, holiday work and low pay weren't meshing too well with having a family. I have since gotten back in school full time, but I still love writing. Thanks for the compliment.
 

Sorry about your experience. It seems to me that he wants comtrol over everything around him. Good for you for staying away and making it a family trip for your immediate family. I hope the rest went well. It is a shame that you wifes sister couldn't be with you. It would be interesting to hear what her last two days were like
 
I'm so, so sorry for you and your DW. I can't even begin to imagine how painful that must have been for you both. We have done many extended family trips (never to Disney, though), and have had many "incidents," but nothing like the cruelty you experienced. I'm glad to hear that you were able to get away and salvage the rest of the trip for the sake of your kids, if nothing else. You'll never forget it, but I hope you can all get past it.
 
I feel so bad for you, having an incident like that. I can understand wanting DD to settle down but that really seems like an extreme over reaction. It seems that he was brewing before this happened. Is he typically intolerant about working around the kids and their needs?

We had my cousin (who is 43 and has no children) here this past weekend and he kept correcting my son. I kept my cool but told him that we would do the correcting and disciplining of our children. If he wanted to bring something to our attention, that was fine but he was over stepping his bounds.

I feel bad for your wife, as I a sure her Dad's words were so hurtful. I hope the rest of your trip was enjoyable and that your children weren't upset by this event.

Keep writing and we'll keep reading!
 
Older peole can get cranky & lose patience but there is no excuse for that public verbal, intimidation. Your poor DW ((( hugs for her )))

By the way, you are a big teddy bear of a husband :goodvibes
 
Wow, I'm really sorry that things turned out so badly for DW. I hope things will resolve themselves with time. Hope the rest of your vacation was good for your immediate family. :)
 
Oh I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hurt your DW must have felt with her father acting like that. I'm glad you guys kept it together though and still managed to have a good time.
 
Oh my goodness, I hate that for your DD and DW. I'm so sorry that your wife had to deal with that.

:wizard: Here's some pixiedust: for all of you. :grouphug:
 
My immediate reaction was:
Was your wife abused by him as a child?

Because the fact that he did that at ALL is a CHARACTER issue, not a heated moment issue. His whole control-freak nature throughout the previous days, as you related them, sound like a potential abuser, but to come to such a point... and then to use such abusive threatening language with your wife, and to have BOTH your MIL and wife just respond by "going on as if nothing happened"...sounds like he has been the abusive master of his household a long time. Has your wife shared this with you, and hopefully been to counseling for it?

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you both dealing with the aftermath of such an upsetting experience. :(
 
I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience on your vacation! I really admire your DW and you for packing up and moving so you could try to get on with and enjoy the rest of your trip. I hope everything went smoothly for you after that.
 
:grouphug: to your wife. I can't imagine her pain when he said those things to her. Good for both of you to stick up for your daughter and remove yourselves from that abuse. What a sad man, because in the end he is the one who loses.

I am lookingforward to hearing more about your trip and just wanted to send my best wishes.
 
I see yours as a cautionary tale. I believe it's best for big families at Disney to rendezvous for drinks or one meal per day. Here, there were too many people trying to stick together, while each, naturally, moving in his or her own direction. What's too bad here is the way GF handled his irritation. If only he'd been direct and admitted that he was no longer used to the company of active children, longer breaks from one another could have been arranged with only minor hurt feelings.

Instead, they hinted: they didn't want to ride in the van, they didn't want the kids to return to the MK, they said they intended to take the first bus that came along rather than wait for you and your wife, etcetera. (I don't get the whole fruit thing. You'd have to ask Dr. Phil about that one. :) ) Actually, I wonder if GF hadn't built a case against you in his mind, and used your refusal to eat the fruit as proof that you were being difficult. They seem to have let their ill feelings build up to the point of the totally unnecessary explosion. It's a shame.

I'm sorry you had to go through this, but if it helps, I don't think this sort of thing is all that unusual. Thank you so much for sharing as it may help some of us who, at some point, find ourselves in similar situations.
 
monami7 said:
Sorry about your experience. It seems to me that he wants comtrol over everything around him. Good for you for staying away and making it a family trip for your immediate family. I hope the rest went well. It is a shame that you wifes sister couldn't be with you. It would be interesting to hear what her last two days were like

We hated that we didn't get to see DW's sister more at Disney. DW finally talked to her sister a little last Saturday, exactly a week after everything went down. The sister was afraid we were mad at her (I guess for not coming after us and maybe switching hotels, too). We don't have any hard feelings there, though. The sister actually has a cruise booked with grandpa and grandma in February. She may be regretting that now!
 
Cass said:
Older peole can get cranky & lose patience but there is no excuse for that public verbal, intimidation. Your poor DW ((( hugs for her )))

By the way, you are a big teddy bear of a husband :goodvibes

Exactly. They say people mellow with age and this guy has, it appears, which is scary. Like you said, DW couldn't believe that at 34-years-old, her father would have the nerve to talk to her like that at all, much less in a public place.

Where were these sweet grandparents who were there to enjoy their grandkids' company? I guess they never existed. But what can you do?

Thanks for the props. :wave2:
 
I am so sorry that happened to you guys. Hopefully over time your DW will be able to talk to him and let him know what he did...sounds like he did not even have a clue how hurtful that was.

Hope the rest of your trip was good...and I am looking forward to hearing about it.

:smooth:
 
Clotho said:
My immediate reaction was:
Was your wife abused by him as a child?

Because the fact that he did that at ALL is a CHARACTER issue, not a heated moment issue. His whole control-freak nature throughout the previous days, as you related them, sound like a potential abuser, but to come to such a point... and then to use such abusive threatening language with your wife, and to have BOTH your MIL and wife just respond by "going on as if nothing happened"...sounds like he has been the abusive master of his household a long time. Has your wife shared this with you, and hopefully been to counseling for it?

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you both dealing with the aftermath of such an upsetting experience. :(

I think DW had good instincts in wanting to get out of the situation for that reason alone. I kept wishing I had told grandpa I would call the police when he made the comment to me about "smacking" my daughter in the face. In retrospect, checking out of that connecting room at CSR and moving elsewhere was probably just as strong a statement that we were in control, not him. The police comment would have probably just escalated the situation more.

Thanks for reading our posts and for your prayers.
 












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