Magical Gathering gone Awry (Pics Pg.7-8, Epilogue Pg. 9)

lookingforward said:
:grouphug: to your wife. I can't imagine her pain when he said those things to her. Good for both of you to stick up for your daughter and remove yourselves from that abuse. What a sad man, because in the end he is the one who loses.

I am lookingforward to hearing more about your trip and just wanted to send my best wishes.

Thanks to you and everyone else who has had nice words for DW. She's sweet and deserved a lot better from her dad. I think you're right on when you say grandpa is the one who loses. Grandchildren are supposed to be fun, right? My daughter's middle name came from one of my grandmothers, whom I adored.

I hope the rest of our trip will be interesting to most of you even though it's not filled with lots of train wreck stuff ;) One little preview (I'll post about the rest of the trip later today), we never got to a park before 11 a.m. the rest of the way!
 
I am so sorry you and your family had that experience. It just made my heart sink reading it. Others are right, your FIL is the one who loses in this case. Sad that he has to resort to abusive talk and threats to those around him. I am glad you moved resorts and salvaged the rest of your vacation. Can't wait to read the rest.

Allyson
 
I have lost my mother and my 2 girls were blessed with a Wonderful GiGi who loves them dearly. I feel for your wife and I can't wait to stick oround for the last 2 days. I hope I hear nothing but good old boring fun.
 
Kay1 said:
I see yours as a cautionary tale. I believe it's best for big families at Disney to rendezvous for drinks or one meal per day. Here, there were too many people trying to stick together, while each, naturally, moving in his or her own direction. What's too bad here is the way GF handled his irritation. If only he'd been direct and admitted that he was no longer used to the company of active children, longer breaks from one another could have been arranged with only minor hurt feelings.

Instead, they hinted: they didn't want to ride in the van, they didn't want the kids to return to the MK, they said they intended to take the first bus that came along rather than wait for you and your wife, etcetera. (I don't get the whole fruit thing. You'd have to ask Dr. Phil about that one. :) ) Actually, I wonder if GF hadn't built a case against you in his mind, and used your refusal to eat the fruit as proof that you were being difficult. They seem to have let their ill feelings build up to the point of the totally unnecessary explosion. It's a shame.

I'm sorry you had to go through this, but if it helps, I don't think this sort of thing is all that unusual. Thank you so much for sharing as it may help some of us who, at some point, find ourselves in similar situations.

It's interesting how you took all of the events leading up to grandpa's explosion and fit them into the equation. We've been trying to do that to make sense of what happened.

You're right, they were apparently getting irritated all along. The van thing on Day 2 and even the night they ditched us to go back to MK alone kind of went over my head at the time. I thought they were being their usual selves and we would just have to accept it. In retrospect, I see those events as part of the build up.

I think you're mostly right when you say these sorts of things aren't that unusual. When families or even friends take vacations like these, there are bound to be differences of opinion on what to do when and where etc. My wife's sister and her husband are always late when we're meeting them somewhere. So if we'd just gone alone with them, we might have gotten irritated at waiting on them! The difference is that I don't have a violent temper and would have just grumbled a little bit if that. If the grandparents had just said, "Can we meet at 7:30 a.m. at the Pepper Market for breakfast" or whatever, we'd have probably been up and there with the kids. But no wake-up times were ever established.

Anyway, so my point was that I believe things like this ARE bound to happen when family gets together, to an extent. I think my FIL's behavior, however, went way past that. Clotho had it mostly right about my FIL. Funny what you can pick up on about a person just from reading a trip report.
 

Clotho said:
My immediate reaction was:
Was your wife abused by him as a child?

Because the fact that he did that at ALL is a CHARACTER issue, not a heated moment issue. His whole control-freak nature throughout the previous days, as you related them, sound like a potential abuser, but to come to such a point... and then to use such abusive threatening language with your wife, and to have BOTH your MIL and wife just respond by "going on as if nothing happened"...sounds like he has been the abusive master of his household a long time. Has your wife shared this with you, and hopefully been to counseling for it?

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you both dealing with the aftermath of such an upsetting experience. :(

Not sure how the rest of this thread will go, but this was my exact instant thought when I read about "the incident". From the reaction, to the verbalization, to the MIL acting like nothing happened. I would be shocked if this was isolated rather than a life long issue.

Unfortunately I think the best thing for your children is to not spend extended time with the grandparents.....it does not sound safe. What if they were watching the kids for you, and he cracked like that. Let them "love" them from afar, rather than see what they are really like.

Many many hugs to your DW :grouphug: :grouphug: Sounds like she has done more than enough to bring the family together. She must have been so disappointed ! She did everything possible to make this a wonderful experience, the rest must be put on her parents. They blew it, and what a big loss for them. Our children are priceless, and you don't act that way when you have the opportunity to have a magical time.
 
Day 5 made me cry. How rude and terrible of your FIL. I would have let him have an earful, but then when it comes to kids, I am not shy. I run a daycare at home and am a mandatory reporter of abuse, I have scared parents in the stores when I have overheard talking to their kids like that. The way I have come to see it, is that if I say nothing I am accepting of that behavior and no child deserves that.

Your wife can borrow my parents or my in-laws for that matter. They are both fun loving people. My mom likes to start waterfights then blames it on my dad...lol They live far away and I miss them everyday. My FIL is a joker and likes to play pranks. Once he sent us an empty box... just because.... :lmao:

Anyway I am sorry your in-laws are like that, but keep in mind it is their problem not yours. You and your wife sound like great and loving parents.

Lori
 
:grouphug: All I can say is WOW. I just don't get people. I would have certainly packed up my family and moved onto brighter skies too!! Life is way too short to have miserable and angry people involved. It is very unfortunate that at what is supposed to be the "The Happiest Place on Earth" a very unhappy incident occurred.

I am glad to hear that your immediately family picked up the pieces and made great memories for the remainder of the vacation.

Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story.
 
Wow, that must have been really hard to share. Here is a :grouphug: for you and your family.

After I read that you had the "talk" with your FIL and wanted him into your children's lives, I know just what you mean. We want grandparents to have the pleasure to enjoy our kids as much as possible. I have a rather very difficult FIL too. Your wife did the right thing and insist upon moving your room away from them. What a very natural instinct she had.

I learned long ago to keep my children away from my FIL. Over time, we often forgot his mean streak, and we would make plans with them and sadly his behavior reared it's ugly head. I would love for them to go along with us to watch my dd march at the MK next April, but if they want to, they will have to make their own arrangements and plans, I will not subject myself to his behavior anywhere.

Sorry for hi-jacking, your post #5 just made a lot of us respond and we only offer you our support.
 
Just gotta add that you and your wife are lucky to have one another--a united front to protect your children and surround them with love. :) Some people don't even have *that* (like perhaps your wife when she was growing up...), and it warms my heart to see a family circle their wagons in situations like this.
 
Day 5 indeed made me sad. Y'all seem like a wonderful little family and I am glad you tried to make the best of what was left of your trip.

I just wanted to tell you, you are a very good writer and your trip report has been great to read. Keep it coming because I want to hear how you triumphed over "the incident".

:grouphug:
 
I think what happens some times is that we see those sappy disney commercials, with the perfect families have magical times and we think -let's try it.
I tried it once with my siblings and it was allmost the "trip from He$*". Unfortunately it was my family that I considered killing. My brother found out that he could make charges using the room key, he went hog wild, mostly on alcoholic beverages, when I politely told him he was still responsible for the charges, he threw a tantrum. This was only one of his charming habits.

Folks, save yourself homicide charges, do disney by yourself
 
I am glad to hear that the final two days were still enjoyable even after the "incident". The GF's actions were :scared1: and :crazy:
 
Day 6

Did I mention that our new room at CBR had some interesting artifacts from some previous occupants? We opened the drawer to the night stand and found an empty bag from Sosa Family Cigars at Downtown Disney and the outside wrapper from a package of birth control pills. Good times! It’s nice to know people were having fun in our room before we arrived!

Oh yeah, speaking of Mousekeeping, we never got any towel animals the whole trip, which would upset DD every night when we got back to the room. I was leaving $2-3 tips on the bed every morning before we left. I guess it’s just hit or miss on whether the person who cleans your room knows how to make towel animals or has time? Seems like we had towel animals every day when we stayed at WL in January. I thought maybe it was just something at CSR, but when we switched to CBR, still no animals.

OK, on with Day 6. So we got up at probably 8:30 a.m, or so. DW and I joked that, “Oh no, it’s 8:30 and we’re still in our room.” The pressures that the grandparents brought were gone and it was nice to be relaxed and take our time. It was supposed to be a vacation, and we’ve got young kids. What’s the rush? BTW – I’m sure some of you are morning people and I assure you we have nothing against you  Just differences in style.

I got dressed and took the van down to Old Port Royale to pick up some Danishes and coffee (I know, I know … call me breakfast boy!)

DW had wanted to do some laundry since we’d been there a week. And conveniently, the laundry room was next to the quiet pool (we could also see the pool from our “balcony”) in Trinidad. So we took the laundry over and got it started and then the whole family went for a swim. It was probably 10:15 when we got in the pool. We played in the pool for maybe an hour while the clothes washed, then moved everything to the dryers and headed back to the room to shower and get ready for the MK.

Like I said at the beginning, DW, her mother and sister had done planning for this trip several months in advance. They had ADR’s set up for almost every day we were there. But after “the incident,” of course, all of those plans were down the drain.

I talked to the folks at the concierge desk after we settled in at CBR on Day 5, and with it being Labor Day weekend, good reservations were hard to come by. Nothing was open for the Chef Mickey’s character breakfast on Day 7 and Ohana only had dinner reservations for 9:15 p.m. and after on Day 7 (that was the two places DW and I decided we wanted to go).

We were able to get a 2:15 lunch for the Crystal Palace at the MK on Day 6. We’ve done the Crystal Palace thing with the Pooh characters all three times we’ve been with the kids. DW really likes it a lot, and who doesn’t like to hang out with Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore and Piglet? We ended up taking the late reservations at Ohana for Day 7 (good decision) and got reservations at Chef Mickey’s for Day 8 (Tuesday, the day we drove home).

Back to Day 6 (Sunday) -- We got over to the MK at about 12:30 p.m. We headed for Adventureland and got fastpasses for the Jungle Cruise. We went in the Tiki Room while we waited on our fastpass times. DW says she doesn’t like the Tiki Room as much now that it’s under “new management.” The Jungle Cruise was fun; the dumb jokes the drivers tell always amuse me. One guy booed our driver and the driver said: “Who booed me? Sir, that’s not nice. I don’t boo you when you’re flipping burgers at McDonald’s.” Funny stuff.

After the Jungle Cruise, it was time for the Crystal Palace reservations. We saw Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore shortly after we were seated. Pooh was on the other side of the restaurant, however, and when the 3 p.m. parade started, of course, he had to leave to attend to his parade duties. When the parade was over, the characters started around again and our kids got to see Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore a second time before Pooh made it to our table. Pooh seemed to be in a bigger hurry than his friends that day, but we got some cute pictures of the rest of the characters with our kids.

After Crystal Palace, we went up to a CM (Elizabeth) standing at the information center on Main Street. DW chatted it up with her about why Pirates of the Caribbean wasn’t a fastpass ride. “Pirates” was about a 30-minute wait that day and our kids are good for about 10 minutes before they start getting restless. Elizabeth didn’t know, but did give us a special coupon-thingy that was effectively a fastpass that would work at any time on any ride in the park that offered a fastpass. It was really nice of her to do that. After that, we went back to “Pirates” and got in the line. It moved pretty quickly and there’s enough pirate stuff in the queue to keep the kids at least somewhat distracted. DW and I really like the way the “Pirates” ride has been re-done to fit with the movies and we had a lot of fun on the ride. DD was a little scared at the hill you go down in complete darkness, but DW held her hand.

After “Pirates,” the kids got to meet the characters from Aladdin near his ride. We had never met them before. After that, we headed for Fantasyland and picked up a fastpass for the Pooh ride. We were planning on using our special fastpass on the Peter Pan Ride at that point, but the standby time was 50 minutes and the fastpass line was pretty long. DD and I went on the Tea Cup ride while we waited on the Pooh fastpass and then grabbed a snack. While we were in line for our snack, we saw Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and went to see them next. We have never seen them before, so I thought it was pretty cool. We had a family picture made and DD got their autographs.

After the Tweedle encounter, we rode Pooh and then went back to Peter Pan and used our special fastpass. At that point, it was maybe 7 p.m. and we started looking for some dinner. DW thought it would be cool to eat at the Plaza on Main Street. We got sidetracked by an artist’s stand and by then it was pouring down rain. We had a silhouette done of both the kids together and then headed toward where DW thought the Plaza was. We ended up in the customer service office near the entrance, first getting our Extra Magic Hour bracelets and then looking into table service dinner reservations. Everything was booked and it was still raining.

We decided to get on the train and take a break. We ended up riding the train around a full trip and then halfway back to Frontierland. DS dirtied his diper while we were on the train, making it a stinky ride for all of us. Despite his stink, DS still had enough courage to flirt with the girls behind us! We got off at Frontierland and worked our way over to Pecos Bill Cafe for dinner.

After dinner, it was back to Fantasyland. We rode the Snow White ride and then got in line for Dumbo. The lady in line behind us at Dumbo was nice. She was a grandma there with her grandson late at night (9 p.m.) ;) . Her grandson’s name was Ethan, same as our DS. DW and I talked afterward about how they were doing the grandparent/grandkid thing at WDW like it was supposed to be done.

After Dumbo, we started trying to find a place to watch “Wishes.” A CM in one of the shops told us she always recommended the bridge near Cosmic Ray’s to the right of the castle. A lot of people were hovering around there, so we staked out a place on a bench on the bridge (a nice couple moved over so all four of us could sit down).

When “Wishes” started, we got a good view of Tinker Bell’s flight. We had never gotten to see Tinker Bell up close. However, once the fireworks started, we couldn’t see them very well because of all of the trees. We moved a little to get a better view, but still couldn’t really see all of the fireworks.

After “Wishes,” we went into Cosmic Ray’s; DW wanted me to take a picture of Ray doing his lounge act. Then we went toward Tomorrowland, figuring we could get on Buzz Lightyear really fast. That didn’t work out, though, as the line was really long. So we headed back to CBR at about 10:30 p.m.

The bus was full on the way back to the resort. DS was sleeping in DW’s arms, so someone got up and gave her their seat. DD sat with a nice family a few seats back (the man gave up his seat) and I stood in front of DW and DS. Across from us, a lady held a screaming toddler. The toddler cried the whole way back. I think we all felt sorry for the family and admired the mom’s patience. We’ve all been there in that situation. Just glad it wasn’t one of our kids that night!
 
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. How sad. I'm glad that you and your family switched resorts and were able to finish your trip in peace.
 
Glad to hear that your next day was much improved! Everyone vacations differently and if you are going to travel with people, you have to have similar goals, objectives, interests, dining choices, etc. etc. etc. And when you have young children, you need to take their needs into consideration or everyone will be miserable. I can understand a young couple without children not getting that but not grandparents. The true loss is theirs -- they missed the pleasure of seeing the excitement in your children's eyes!
 
SamIAm21 said:
Day 5 indeed made me sad. Y'all seem like a wonderful little family and I am glad you tried to make the best of what was left of your trip.

I just wanted to tell you, you are a very good writer and your trip report has been great to read. Keep it coming because I want to hear how you triumphed over "the incident".

:grouphug:

Thanks for the kind things you had to say. I like your wording. I guess we did "triumph over the incident." Feels good! :sunny:
 
I'm really glad you guys decided that it was YOUR vacation and not let it get ruined by others . Some many people would have stuck it out and just been miserable.

DD & I are morning people so we are out the door and to the park openings. Dw is not so we let her sleep in and meet up with us later. When DM & DsF come along Dm is most of the time with DD & ME but DsF is not a ride person so he hangs out at the pool all morning. He then Meets us for the waterparks and the parks at night for the parades and fireworks. He even leaves sometimes right after.

We know that everyone is not going to want to do the same things but I make sure they know whats avail for them to do .

Gramps just seemed like he wants to Control everything and Grams just wants all to go along like she has done forever.

You have a great writing style and great poise as If anyone family or not threatens my DD the Police will only get there in time to pull me off of them .
 
Funny, we were at the MK the Sunday before Labor Day, and, like your wife, I wondered why Pirates isn't a FP ride. It's sure set up to be. :confused3

I'm glad you guys were able to have fun in spite of it all. Btw, I was neutral in my earlier posts, but make no mistake, I can think of a million ways the old man could have dealt with the situation that didn't involve threats against a child. Sadly, he and his wife are supposed to be the most mature in the family. :sad2:
 




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