Living rent free in someone else's home

[Imzadi]

WOW! This is so interesting!!! I am here at the house now with my brother and letting him know all of this.

Oh, some clarification when I say the police will do nothing other than having a talk with your sister(s). S/He will tell you and them it's a "civil matter," meaning it's for the court and the estate attorneys too hammer out the details and put it all in writing.

When the police intervene it's for criminal actions. Meaning your sister is taking things out of the house and robbing. You and your brother think, it's criminal what she's doing!

This is when it gets frustrating. The problem is: right now, you have no written proof of what belongs to whom, so the police can't ACT on anything being true. Right now, it's a "She said, she said," situation for them. They don't act on that.

By the way, you need to get a copy of the death certificate for your mom. (Pick up one for your dad too, should you ever need it.) You may need to prove to the police she actually is dead and that she's not on some two month vacation in Europe and all the siblings are trying to rob her blind, and then having a dispute about who gets what and one of you called the cops.

Still call the police if you need to, even if you don't have a death certificate yet. You can show her obituary or the funeral home page, if she has one. The officer will know right away by the date of her death, that in no way could things have legally been settled already. Probate takes TIME. You won't be their first call such as this.

While everything is up in the air, until there is written proof of a) who owns the house, b) who owns the possessions in question, the police stay out of such matters. Yet, as I said, they will likely talk to your sisters and warn/advise them they should wait until things are legally settled. For instance, what if your mom willed all the stuff to her favorite charity instead of any of you. All that stuff needs to stay in place for that entity.

 

[Imzadi]

I would also talk to the attorney about either being compensated for the property's rental income or evicting any non family members. If one of those kids is injured on the property, or any friends, you could potentially be held liable for damages as an heir.

Oh yeah, another house bill. Who is paying for the house insurance while people are staying or just walking around in there?

 

[tvguy]

People are usually charged monthly for utilities whether they are used or not. (This may be different depending on where one lives.) Technically, no one is supposed to be living there after the owner has died. Unless someone is already living there. In this case the nephew. So he or his mother should agree to take over the account - putting the responsibility of payment in their name.) So, yes, the utilities are supposed to be turned off, or in this case transferred.

If you mean so people can go in and deal with the estate, then the payment of utilities would be taken out of the estate's assets - which ultimately affect the OP, 1 sister and brother. In the OP's case, other people are living there and using more utilities than just the handling of the estate.

There is a whole lot we don't know and I think you are making a whole lot of assumptions. Until the Estate is settled, the Estate is responsible for all bills. And I certainly can't say this is the same everywhere but here, with my parent's house, none of the utilities would take my mom's name off the accounts until the estate was settled.

 

[Imzadi]

There is a whole lot we don't know and I think you are making a whole lot of assumptions. Until the Estate is settled, the Estate is responsible for all bills. And I certainly can't say this is the same everywhere but here, with my parent's house, none of the utilities would take my mom's name off the accounts until the estate was settled.

I'm not speaking from assumptions. I'm speaking from experience of what happened in my situation and my state. And I DID say it may be different in other states.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

Unfortunately, your brother may be right if your parents vacated

I would also talk to the attorney about either being compensated for the property's rental income or evicting any non family members. If one of those kids is injured on the property, or any friends, you could potentially be held liable for damages as an heir.

Oh geez never thought of that!!

 

[Lehuaann]

I believe that they

That’s the problem. This is not all about them.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

.

 

[tvguy]

I'm not speaking from assumptions. I'm speaking from experience of what happened in my situation and my state. And I DID say it may be different in other states.

I understand. But my bigger point is, we don't have enough information on this specific situation to really tell. The OP may be very right to be upset. Or the OP may find out this is exactly how her mom wanted the estate handled, or anything in between those two extremes.
We have no facts.

 

[Imzadi]

I believe that they are using the reasoning of my nephew living here free is that he is "maintaining" the property. This is their idea of maintaining the property. I am literally sick.

The only plus side may be that he didn't toss the items you want. Doesn't look like he tossed anything out, just tossed it elsewhere.

It does look like the items were already rummaged through and any valuables were taken out. But, the deck of cards, a Sharpie, a cookbook, a popcorn maker MAY still be there. Those aren't important to anyone else to take.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

The only plus side may be that he didn't toss the items you want. Doesn't look like he tossed anything out, just tossed it elsewhere.

It does look like the items were already rummaged through and any valuables were taken out. But, the deck of cards, a Sharpie, a cookbook, a popcorn maker MAY still be there. Those aren't important to anyone else to take.

Well yes and no, all of those boxes, clutter, is not my parents'. The young men just moved all of their stuff in and didn't put it away. They are basically living out of boxes and piles. My parent's house was always neat as a pin. And my dad kept the yard immaculate. This is just disgusting to me.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

Oh yeah, another house bill. Who is paying for the house insurance while people are staying or just walking around in there?

I literally have NO idea. I was cut off from the 3 siblings for 3 years and now that my brother has seen what my sister is like, he is doing everything he can to communicate what he knows to me. By doing so though, he is risking the line of communication with my sister.

 

[disykat]

Just chiming in to try to give some more moral support. I feel so bad for what you're going through!

My situation with my parents and their estate has been difficult, but now I'm feeling very thankful after reading yours.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

Just chiming in to try to give some more moral support. I feel so bad for what you're going through!

My situation with my parents and their estate has been difficult, but now I'm feeling very thankful after reading yours.

Thank you disykat! I feel a million times better now that I have my brother and his new wife looking out for me - we'll get through it!

 

[piccolopat]

Sister (I don't think it is the sister with kids in the house, but doesn't matter) has no more right to give permission to the OP to take stuff than she has to take stuff herself. We are all telling the OP that the sister taking stuff/taking over the house is wrong without following a written will; it is no different for the OP.

I agree however in this case the sister intends to get a dumpster and empty the house. My recommendation was based on that and would preserve at least some of the estate

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I believe that they are using the reasoning of my nephew living here free is that he is "maintaining" the property. This is their idea of maintaining the property. I am literally sick. Definitely taking everyone's advice and calling a lawyer in the morning.View attachment 694953View attachment 694954View attachment 694955View attachment 694956View attachment 694957

I’m sorry, but what slobs!

 

[tvguy]

I agree however in this case the sister intends to get a dumpster and empty the house. My recommendation was based on that and would preserve at least some of the estate

Broken record, but just remember that there may be a will and that could have been the final wishes. The items may be of personal value to some, but it is very common for a will to specify that the executor of an estate has the right (or responsibility) to dispose of small items of personal property as they see fit.

 

[focusondisney]

My dad named my oldest sister executor and she believes that gave her all the power.

I haven’t read the whole thread yet, so this might have been addressed. But who was your mother’s executor? Was eldest sister named for both parents? If your father predeceased your mother, this is now your mother’s estate. So whoever is her executor should be handling the house & property. Also, how was your parents care being funded? Are there outstanding debts to medical facilities that need to be settled?

 

[lisaviolet]

I strongly suggest you take the pictures down from this site. You do not need one more ounce of drama, especially while you are mourning.

I am so very sorry for what you are going through & for the loss of your mother (and father).

 

[Imzadi]

Just chiming in to try to give some more moral support. I feel so bad for what you're going through!

Yes, sending you moral support too. As someone who's been through a nasty, evil, bitter, contentious battle twice, I've seen some of the worst that greed and feelings of jealously and entitlement do to another human being and how they then choose to behave.

I think, in addition to the courts always being backed up, and as a PP mentioned there has to be ads placed in newspapers so your your mom's debts could all be settled, TIME is built in to the process, at least here in the U.S.

TIME to grieve and mourn.
TIME to heal.
TIME so that one does not make hasty life-altering decisions after a trauma, if suddenly coming into a whole lot of money. I've read the suggestion to wait 6-12 months before making a sudden, rash decision like giving all the money to charity and moving to Antarctica, (especially if one has never shown an interest in Antarctica before. )
TIME to b.r.e.a.t.h.e.
TIME to gather your ducks in a row, consult an attorney to know the law and know your options, even with a relative bearing down on you trying to force hasty (illegal) decisions or actions.
TIME to build up your mental and emotional reserves back up in case it turns heated and contentious.

Thank you disykat! I feel a million times better now that I have my brother and his new wife looking out for me - we'll get through it!

You have TIME to get to know our brother again as all of you mourn and heal through this. It seems there has been some light through all of this.

I was cut off from the 3 siblings for 3 years and now that my brother has seen what my sister is like, he is doing everything he can to communicate what he knows to me. By doing so though, he is risking the line of communication with my sister.

Yes, in my situations, we each lost some siblings as "family" members after the first parent died, and various members took sides deciding that some siblings shouldn't have gotten what they did. That they were more entitled to assets and stole what wasn't nailed down. (There was a will.) When the second parent died without a will, that started a new nightmare.


One suggestion to tell your brother so it doesn't seem like he's choosing sides is for him to just neutrally keep repeating to the sisters, "We need to find out if Mom had a will and what her wishes were. And if she didn't have a will, we still have to follow the law on how things get distributed. That takes time."

If your sister insists your mom didn't have a will, none of you know that yet. Someone at the group home may have suggested a great lawyer to her that she quietly went to. Hopefully the lawyer you consult with will have ways to find out how if she did make one. Good luck!

 

[kymom99]

Did you get a chance to call an attorney today?