Living rent free in someone else's home

Agree, hire an attorney to probate estate.
The executor actually has a lot of legal responsibilities and a lot of liability if things are not handled properly. Have to pay off all debts...medical, taxes, funeral, etc. Then, depending on whether or not there is a will, has to follow the directives in the will or, if no will, state law. It is a very exacting task, not nilly-willy what she wants to do. May have to sell off assets to pay bills or make distributions. Any assets given in advance (i.e. the car and maybe the ring) should be considered in distribution.
 
I am just finishing up my Mom’s estate. It was a lot of work and emotionally difficult. Mom wanted things divided equitably. I’ve offered ‘things’ to my sibs and the only thing one wanted was some pictures. (Actually asked me to make albums (!), which I have not had time for, but I’ll try once I come across old pics, thanks for the reminder.) We had an attorney, but just fyi when we started the probate process, they had to send out a notice, published in the newspapers, giving notice about anything that is owed to anyone by the estate, who could then make a claim. This could be something you can look into, as you definitely have claim to part of the estate unless you were specifically left out of the will. (Not a legal expert nor do I play one on TV, just sharing my recent experience with this process. Not sure how state laws come into play.) Twice the attorney also has had to write to my siblings - once, asking if they had any objections to my being the executor, and again now that things are just about complete, everyone has to sign off on the final accounting of the estate; that will be the last step, I guess. Even if they aren’t using an attorney, there are laws that they must follow. Hope this helps you understand you have rights.

a few months prior to my moms death I had her redo her will, POA and health care proxy thing- she orginally had my brother as the executor just because he was the oldest. Meanwhile she lived with me, I took care of all her health and other needs so I had her change it. Not to take him off but to just add me so now everything was he and I- neither could do anything unless the other agreed and it has honestly worked out. My mom had already put the house in a life estate 20 years prior to her death so it just reverted right to us. As far as anything else there was very little money but we had spent most of it down to get her onto medicaid. My moms engagement and wedding ring and her moms wedding band she had told my daughter she could have so they went to her. Otherwise we just agreed on other things (and honestly we NEVER got along growing up-we are VERY different from each other). We had put everything on her credit cards for the past 6 months she was sick- she needed new teeth after rehab lost hers so that was 5,000 right there, plus a bunch of other things to make the house assessible to bring her home from rehab so all those bills will die with her- I just sent each place a copy of death cert- they called and asked about her estate I said there is none.
 


I sound like your aunt! Well, not the siphoning money, but the estranged and favorite part, lol!!

I'm sorry you had to go through this. It just is so complicated. Why can't people get along? My sisters have had my blocked on their phones and social media for 3 years now. They didn't even tell me about my mom's burial!
I wanted to like your post because yeah ugh but then I sad faced it because how awful of them not to tell you about your mom's burial :( that's just cruel.
 
Unfortunately In this kind of situation the only really smart thing to do I hire a lawyer, who can demand to see the will if there is one. If not he or she can stop assets from being disposed of until probate is underway. One of your sisters could have been named executor but that still doesn’t give her a right to do anything she wants., unless of course the entire estate was left to her.
We have three daughters, one disabled. To avoid any problems , because the two oldest like to fight over everything, we have stated that all assets be sold (I will probably give away a few pieces of jewelry etc in advance). Then the proceeds go into trust, anything ovER a certain amount that we believe our disabled daughter needs for the rest of her life, will he divided according to our wishes, mostly to the other daughters but also small percentages to our niece and nephews and to a couple charities.
You may not like the idea of fighting over assets but you could be losing out on thousands of dollars resulting from the sale of the house etc. Think about how you could use that money for college or retirement. And your parents probably didn’t want this to happen.
My parents had a large house with a lot of artwork and antiques, their pride and joy. There was enough that we were able to secure an estate sale company do a weekend sale (even though it was significantly smaller than the homes in Franklin lakes NJ (real housewives) that they primarily work out of. We got $5000 (we did give stuff away before we entered into the contact, but still had a lot of crystal, silver, paintings, furniture- stuff nobody seems to want today).
 
Go to the house now and take pictures of everything. Rent a truck if you have to and take anything that you think you or your family might want. Take any and all paperwork and family photos that you can find. You can look through it all later. Get a lawyer this morning and let your sister know that what she is doing is not right and she will be hearing from the lawyer. It is not right what your sister is doing and I hope you can stop her before it's too late.
 


Legally the executor has to communicate with all beneficiaries. They don’t have to let you know of every decision or action they take, but you need to be reasonably informed about the administration of the estate.

Contact an estate lawyer.
 
Oh boy. My sister said I need to get what I want out TONIGHT. Thank you for the warning.

Unless you have something in writing that whatever you are taking out is yours/willed to you, I would really, really, really advise against this.

Go to the house now and take pictures of everything. Rent a truck if you have to and take anything that you think you or your family might want. Take any and all paperwork and family photos that you can find. You can look through it all later. Get a lawyer this morning and let your sister know that what she is doing is not right and she will be hearing from the lawyer. It is not right what your sister is doing and I hope you can stop her before it's too late.
This opens up the OP to claims of theft by her sister/other family members.

The picture taking makes sense (so OP can prove that something was there, if her sister/others claim it was already gone).
 
Unless you have something in writing that whatever you are taking out is yours/willed to you, I would really, really, really advise against this.


This opens up the OP to claims of theft by her sister/other family members.

The picture taking makes sense (so OP can prove that something was there, if her sister/others claim it was already gone).
Her sister told her she has until tonight to take whatever she wants. The pictures will document everything taken and everything left behind. OP can store the items taken until this is all sorted out.
 
Her sister told her she has until tonight to take whatever she wants. The pictures will document everything taken and everything left behind. OP can store the items taken until this is all sorted out.

Sister (I don't think it is the sister with kids in the house, but doesn't matter) has no more right to give permission to the OP to take stuff than she has to take stuff herself. We are all telling the OP that the sister taking stuff/taking over the house is wrong without following a written will; it is no different for the OP.
 
First off, this estate stuff is complicated and is dependent on what state you are in as to what laws are in place. I was in MD, was the POA for my dad as well as the executor of the estate after he passed. In MD, all wills have to be filed with the register of wills. As POA, I used all money that came in to take care of his needs. Once he died, I consolidated all liquid accounts into one so that I could write checks as needed. In our case it was pretty simple as all property or proceeds were to be split evenly between my sister and I. All my sister wanted was their car and my mom's golf clubs. Everything else I had to deal with as my sister lived in California. My parents had pre-paid for all funeral arrangements years before their death so that was easy. That being said, any incidentals had to come out of the estate account. The biggest item, one we talked about in the downsizing thread was cleaning out their house. That was left up to my wife and I to deal with. I think that was the worst. Since we were working, nobody had time or the inclination to have an estate sale and deal with all the junk to sell on line. We gave some stuff away to friends and family, the rest was thrown out. Lastly was making the house ready to sell. Our first mistake was allowing a friend of my parent's daughter to list the house. Without going into details, that was a 6 month waste of time. We fired her for doing nothing and hired another relator who eventually sold the house. It did cost me money out of the estate fund to repair and update the house so it would sell. I also spent a lot of my weekends going over there and keeping things up to keep it presentable. For example, the next door neighbor called me on the 4th of July because a storm the night before knocked over a tree and took out the split rail fence. I had to go over with the chain saw, cut up and stack the tree and fix the fence. It's the little things.
House finally got sold, all bills were paid and we eventually split the remainder of the estate. Yes, I took my 27% executor's fee. I earned it.
Also, I used my parent's lawyer to assist.
Sorry this was so long, just wanted to throw out the "short" version of what I went through. Also, this was just one state out of 50 and they're all different. Best of luck. Nothing about this was easy.
 
OP here. My plan was to go and document tonight. My brother must have told eldest sister that I was coming. So now I have been ordered to take what I want out of what is left. She chewed him out and told him I had better not take the grandfather clock. Then admitted she took it over a year ago. I forgot middle sister also took my parent's minivan and gave it to her son when they lied to my dad and told him the police took away his driver's license. So both of her kids got a vehicle. I feel like the ring is a different story. My parents gave it to me before they were ever moved out of their house. I don't believe it is mentioned in the will. I DO know in the will it states my middle sister is to receive $10,000 less than the rest of us as she borrowed money from my parents. Which makes me wonder why my mom would write a check to her for $22,000 with no strings attached. Like we have you on the hook for 10 grand, but go ahead and take 22? My mom wasn't even able to write by that time, I'm wondering how they pulled that off!
 
My parents were moved into a group home for the last 2 years of their life. I have 2 older sisters that don't talk to me (all is related to the care of my parents). My sister's son moved into my parent's house as well as a couple buddies of his when my parents were moved out. Their college is across the street from the house. I did not know they moved in.

Need opinions - my son is in college too and paying $900 a month for housing. Should these kids be living there rent free? And here is my big question -- shouldn't all of us have been asked if this was okay?

I only found out they were living there because my brother had to schedule a time for me to go pick up some personal items of my parents. My sister said he needed permission from these kids to go to the house.

I would have loved to save a few bucks by taking one of their 2 beds and other furniture-type items because my son is moving into a house on campus (a different university) this year. But I can't because these strangers are using the furniture. I have heard through my brother that the 2 sisters are renting a dumpster beginning on the 28th of this month and disposing of everything in the house. Trying to keep my emotions in check!!

OP here. My plan was to go and document tonight.

Sounds like your nephew/friends are squatting in your deceased parent’s home, which, according to your sister, require their permission for you and your brother to enter.

I would advise police and/or legal councel before entering the premises.
 
Last edited:
Exactly!! How do I stop her from doing this?
An executor, even one for a parent, needs to follow the law. They can not just do whatever they want. Everything needs to go by what is in the will and property that is not specified, needs to be sold and put in "the pot" of the estate. You can sue her if she does not do what she is supposed to do. I would communicate with her letting her know that she is legally bound to do what she is supposed to do or you can contest it. You can go to court to have her taken off as executor if you believe that she is not doing the right thing. I know it is a pain and you might not think that it is worth it, but if she is willing to not even let you have a bed, I wouldn't trust her to give you your share of what is left of the estate.
 
Oh boy. My sister said I need to get what I want out TONIGHT. Thank you for the warning.
I don't agree with the other poster. If they are going to toss it, then TAKE IT. You can always give it back if there is an issue. Especially since they said that they are throwing it away.
 
Sister (I don't think it is the sister with kids in the house, but doesn't matter) has no more right to give permission to the OP to take stuff than she has to take stuff herself. We are all telling the OP that the sister taking stuff/taking over the house is wrong without following a written will; it is no different for the OP.
This issue is that if the things are going to get tossed, then she should take them and hold on to them. You can't get them back once they are in the garbage. The worst that will happen is that she will have to give them back to be distributed or sold. I understand what you are saying, but in this case, it is better to get the items and save them from the garbage, then to worry about legality since that can be handled later.
 
Unfortunately In this kind of situation the only really smart thing to do I hire a lawyer, who can demand to see the will if there is one. If not he or she can stop assets from being disposed of until probate is underway. One of your sisters could have been named executor but that still doesn’t give her a right to do anything she wants., unless of course the entire estate was left to her.
The key is if there is a will and what it says. I can't imagine a situation where the law wouldn't require all the children to be shown a will. Here in California the law says that must happen within 60 days of death.
I would comment, that if the estate is properly set up, Probate isn't necessary in many states.
 
My parents had a large house with a lot of artwork and antiques, their pride and joy. There was enough that we were able to secure an estate sale company do a weekend sale (even though it was significantly smaller than the homes in Franklin lakes NJ (real housewives) that they primarily work out of. We got $5000 (we did give stuff away before we entered into the contact, but still had a lot of crystal, silver, paintings, furniture- stuff nobody seems to want today).
Having been through the process with my MIL and my mom, it still is shocking to me how little value a lot of personal items have. A general rule of thumb for most household items is they depreciate to zero value after 7 to 10 years. The walnut dining room table in new condition that my parents paid $3,000 for in 1950 fetched $100 at an estate sale in 2013.
I contacted an estate sale company, and their business is selling big ticket items, not household items. Think individual items that are worth $25,000 each.
 
Having been through the process with my MIL and my mom, it still is shocking to me how little value a lot of personal items have. A general rule of thumb for most household items is they depreciate to zero value after 7 to 10 years. The walnut dining room table in new condition that my parents paid $3,000 for in 1950 fetched $100 at an estate sale in 2013.
I contacted an estate sale company, and their business is selling big ticket items, not household items. Think individual items that are worth $25,000 each.
In order for them to have the sale (a lot of work on their part), there had to be a certain amount of valuables (like silver, jewelry) and we just made it. We also had to remove items they had no interest in selling (hired a clean out crew with a large truck), and fortunately they got someone to take what didn’t sell. I think they got half of the proceeds. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if they were’t interested in the sale, yikes.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!






Top