I had a heck of a day...coming down to the wire with a lot of personal and hard decesions and so much struggle in the heart. I am very financially concerned with this divorce and I need to just have faith and work really hard...but I am scared.
I lasted about 1/2 a day yesterday with the protein -a thon...had chinese for dinner and today...no food except a Boca Brat plain and then dinner...noodles and tomato soup...not too much...but add a Coke and I am going strait to the Big Guy downstairs.
MamaBear Jo...I get the emotional eating....you and I ate our way around Epcot last year...trying to trip the skinny biaches meanwhile!

Does tripping people count as a form of excersize??? Hmmm...what would fit day give that for 20 minutes???
Speaking of Me and MaMaBears trip to the World last year...I have been waiting for her to tell a story...but she keeps waiting...so I will tell it!
******CLEAR AWAY ALL BEVERAGES NOW PLEASE****
So Me and Jodi...(AKA MaMaBearJo) went to the World on a girl's trip. That would be her 2 teenage beauties...Hanna and Sara, my daughter Carsyn and Hanna's friend Dana. Weight wise all the girls are approx 140-170ish...great shaped...athletic girls. Then there is us...Hubba and Bubba...I will never say which is who...and we think that Blizzard Beach sounds grand.
(For those who remember the Crush N Gusher Story...yeah...this is a pre-quel and it does not involve the same friend...)
Sooo....after freezing because it was raining that day....we did the Tobaggan Racers. Yeah...good idea...put a fat chick on a stamp sponge and see how fast she can fly!
So we smartly lined up...let others go in front so we can all slide together...and we waited for the go -ahead and I could hear the Olympic Medal calling. It may have been zinc...but it was calling out!
"YOOO HOOO....TUBBY TALLULAH....Don't ya want me...."
So I geared my sponge mat...I lifted the front for greater speed...I placed my piglets firmly on the ground for precesion take off...and
NADA!!!
I layed firmly where I started and my take off was that of Nicole Richie at a Buffet.

day changed to night...Spring turned to Summer
...Bird's came and migrated...and me and Bubba....d@mn...you took it out of me...stayed still...listening to Hans and Frans the lifeguards flex...
So we...did what any upstanding, patriotic chubola, citizens would do...we lurched forward...did a death defying belly flop onto the water that would even carry Shamu to the sea...and finally...praise Jesus...started downhill.
For a moment...we looked good...svelt even..
okay not really but give me sumpin sumpin...
and the the hill became an evil Dictator who said we were badd baddd girls and must pay.
So...pay up at the pump we did...the teens...were already careening down the second hump...and we...we not only had a chance to come from behind...we beat them due to our behinds. In fact we did not just beat them...we went past them at the end...cause fat flies and does not stop nicely and gracefully mid finish line....
Ahhh Hel* no....we aint no stinkin quitters....we will finish this baby in style...even if this means eating the padded stoppers placed as decoy barricades at the end of the ride.
Now all that I can say about that...is I did finish with all my parts still attached...even the girls (my personal ones...as opposed to the girl I gave birth to) and their little buttons.
Jodi...was dryer than I was at the start of the ride...and as she skidded sideways into the finish post...and onto the wave pool below...she said...perhabs a better explanative would be screamed...
"I left my niPPl* back there!".
I wet myself till Tuesday...because she was literally holding her left breast...and it was not a BTW kinda scream...but more of an...
"I am in labor and want narcotics yell!"
So we went off to the First Aid station...and they said this happens all the time...and guess what...she got a faux tootie! A prostetic pidipple! I mean the thing is as real as the nose on your face and versitile!!! She can just pop that sucker on and off like a pair of sunglasses.
So...next time you are searching/stealing lost change at the bottom of slides at the Disney Water parks...look out for a missing appendage...we were horrible and left a soldier behind......
But...I hear there is a reward...MaMaBearJo's hubby is offering $500 for anyone with information leading to the capture and return of his ole Lucy...
"Picked a fine time to leave me Lucy...3 hungry kids and a man whose wife has only 1 nip...
I've had some bad times...
lived through some sad times...
but nothing like old, one-eye, patchy tit!"
Please tell me someone else thinks this is funny cause...I am laughing my hind end off and my daughter...up studying for finals...thinks her mama is off the deep end.
