WTH? Last post was 11pm? Where are all of you???
Paula, you are excused. Erika, you, too. And you Aimee, and Amy. And Kat and Lyz and Dawn. But the rest of you have some explaining to do!
May I be excused - I was in bed, darn time difference!
I am just back from seeing a movie with a friend. Twilight, of course. Anyhoo, I was on my way back thinking about a friend and a conversation I had with her about men. Now, don't skip this. This is my deep stuff coming out. It all ties in.
So we were talking about this particular guy and how he was attracted to another woman, and why that woman was no good for him. Basically, he couldn't handle her. She was out of his league. And yes, she is gorgeous but that's not why. She's also talented, but that's not why. She's also intelligent, and funny and fun and warm and everything wonderful. She's out of his league, I explained, because she and I share something in common. We think we're the sh$t.
Do either of us think we are the world's best friend, the mother of the year, the perfect wife or daughter or employee? No. We don't. We know we have faults and failings. But no matter how fat or ugly or stupid or silly or embarrassed we feel for the MOMENT, we still think we are the sh$t.
We simply put, have self confidence. We honestly think that you could add up our faults and failings minus our good traits and it doesn't matter. We are still completely worth your time. Are you going to find anyone more fun to be with than she or I? Nope, and that's because we like ourselves. No matter what I think about my thighs, I truly like myself. I think you can't do better than me for a friend, wife, daughter or mother. Now, could I BE a better friend, wife, daughter, or mother? For sure. Plenty of people write better than me, look better than me, love better than me.
But I'm who you want to be with. I'm the woman you want to date, the girlfriend you want to see, the family member you want to come to Christmas. And that's because I like myself, so I can let that other stuff go.
Again, I have PLENTY of faults and failings. I have moments, days, weeks, of self-doubt. I have things I am ashamed of, bad habits, emotions I don't know how to deal with. I have all of that and more. I have every single negative thing every other woman on the planet has.
But still, I can confidently say, "He's lucky to have me." "You can't do better than me, baby," I joke to Nick. My friends and I like this song by Liz Phair and the lyric is "You're lucky to even know me" and we joke about that being my line. We sing it to each other and then we believe it about ourselves.
I truly believe I am lucky to have EVERY friend in my life, that I am the blessed one, that they are the best friends in the world. I believe my husband is a prince among men. I believe my daughter is beautiful and amazing. But, I also believe that about myself. While we as people can easily believe greatness in others, we rarely feel the same way about ourselves.
So why is she out of his league? Because she believes this about herself, and he doesn't. This won't stop her from loving him, but it will stop their relationship from working.
What Lyz said is spot-on. Melissa, Dawn I get it. I have been there. I am OFTEN there. All the freaking time! But I just believe that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how thin or pretty or smart or rich or nice I am. I rock. I rock because of who I am, not what I am. I am the person you want to be with, to be in your life. And no amount of skinny can top that.
So please, know that you rock too. That all that other stuff doesn't matter, truly. If you are in love with you, you will feel like you are worth every good thing. You will be the star of the room, because that's your birthright. It's all of our birthrights. And it doesn't mean we don't have to work on our sh$t, because we do. I do, you do.
You can be the heaviest, the poorest, the least educated, and you can make everyone feel like they want to know you better. Like they got a treat being with you. It's not about anything else than what you think of yourself.
So if you made it through this, thanks. If not, no worries. And if you do anything this year, please do this. Read it, believe it, live it.
We're lucky to even know YOU.
xoxo