I have not read the posts, however

[legalsea]

Well, 300 posts! Well done!

 

[monkeybug]

I just posted this on another thread (concerning Thanksgiving and the Pilgrams, I believe, although I did not read any of the posts) and thought I would put it here also for your reading amusement (I hope):

Interestingly, one of my ancestors was at that famous Thanksgiving meal, Cotton Mather Legalsea, and he even wrote down what they had, with the letter being carefully preserved over the generations; Cotton was writing to his creditors back in London:

To Satan’s Brood:

It is with utmost regret that I fynd I am in a peculiar situation and so cannot remit to thou bloodsuckers the King’s Coin which You have been Promise by Me before I boarded the Shipp; I do Hope that You Leeches saw me Waving to You as we quitted the Shores of Plymouth. Should You Foule Servantes of Darkness find yeself in My area of this World do looke me Up and I shall pay my Debt with the Utmost promptness. If I am not In when You creep upon these Shores be pleased to Wait until my Return.

We Pilgrims (for thus the Captaine has taken to calling ourselfs, whereas I suggested “Supreme OverLords of All We Survey”), had Occasion to Sit and Dine with the Local Peoples Whom Calle themselves “The Blessed People of This Most Abundant Land” (which we shortened to Indian), and had a Feaste of Unparallel Delight. It is My Thought that, since you and your Satanic Brothers have been disappointed by the Lack of Coin you would be satisfied to read of what we Partook of at the Feaste. I had been Seated at a spot next to the Poop Pit, which I was assured was the Best Seat available.

The Feaste mainly consisted of Fowle of the Land. I cannot heartily recommend the Crow, since it Tasted As bitter as one would Imagine Crow to taste, but the Sparrow Fitted nicely in the Mouth with a Pleasing Crunch. The Indians did bring a Deere which they Roasted over the communal Fire, of which I had a hoof; they did Assure Me it was the Best Part of the Animal. We also Ate of the Fish of the Sea, of a species Unknown but Called Su-shee by the Indians. I do Wishe the Su-shee had been Cooked, and, lacking that, at least Gutted. I only Wishe that You and Yours could have eaten of it.

The Indians also served a Dish called “bees and cheese” which was as Foule as It sounds. The Cheese was rather Pleasing, but a Substitute Must be found for the bees.

We also had what these Savages called Appetizers consisting of Various Roots pulled from the very Dirt under our Feet and served on a Large Plate with instructtions to Dip said Roots into a Foul mixture that was called Dippe. No One Ate of These and it sat Untouched.

I did Excuse Myself prior to Dessert (which I believe consisted of Mice on a Sticke) and so did please myself by Not Offering a “tippe” to these Indians for the Foule Feast. I believe a Warrant has been Issued for my Failure to “tippe” so I Shall sign Off now as I am Traveling Quickly to Another Locale that I Hope and Praye has Better Food.

Cotton Mather Legalsea
November 1621

I'm so glad you took the time to post this historically accurate account of the first Thanksgiving. I was going to take my family to Colonial Williamsburg to further their appreciation of this holiday, but now I can save some cash and just have my brother (who is quite good at historic voices due to his unexplained and disturbing love of the renaissance fairs. It has to do with the type of books he writes...or maybe it's just the giant Turkey legs? Yes! It's the turkey legs now that I think about it!) read it aloud while wearing a funny hat. The same thing really.
I'm going to donate the money saved to glitterkitty. I'm not sure why. I haven't read all the replies, but I think it's because she need a poohapendectomy...or is it that she had a bad reaction to nuts in a tree stand? Or did a boy scout poke her in the wine rack and now she is involved in a costly lawsuit because the boy scout stole the poking job from an unemployed poker who smells as if he has poo about his pants. (Unemployed pokers who smell of poo can be rather bitter. In my experience anyways.)? I can't be bothered to figure out which. I'm really quite busy. Obviously.
I do however know it is ALL about her. Dan told me during his mayonnaise rant. And really Dan? (or was it Frank? And who is Frank? Is he the guy with all the cougars after him? Or is that codgers?) Mayo? Aren't there more important things happening in this world? Hunger, war, unwanted tags, devastation, destruction, and a very disturbing over use of Miracle Whip and Splenda. Try and gain some perspective! Or someone here will get the poo poker to poke you with a rusty fork. At Walmart. Obviously!

 

[legalsea]

I'm so glad you took the time to post this historically accurate account of the first Thanksgiving. I was going to take my family to Colonial Williamsburg to further their appreciation of this holiday, but now I can save some cash and just have my brother (who is quite good at historic voices due to his unexplained and disturbing love of the renaissance fairs. It has to do with the type of books he writes...or maybe it's just the giant Turkey legs? Yes! It's the turkey legs now that I think about it!) read it aloud while wearing a funny hat. The same thing really.
I'm going to donate the money saved to glitterkitty. I'm not sure why. I haven't read all the replies, but I think it's because she need a poohapendectomy...or is it that she had a bad reaction to nuts in a tree stand? Or did a boy scout poke her in the wine rack and now she is involved in a costly lawsuit because the boy scout stole the poking job from an unemployed poker who smells as if he has poo about his pants. (Unemployed pokers who smell of poo can be rather bitter. In my experience anyways.)? I can't be bothered to figure out which. I'm really quite busy. Obviously.
I do however know it is ALL about her. Dan told me during his mayonnaise rant. And really Dan? (or was it Frank? And who is Frank? Is he the guy with all the cougars after him? Or is that codgers?) Mayo? Aren't there more important things happening in this world? Hunger, war, unwanted tags, devastation, destruction, and a very disturbing over use of Miracle Whip and Splenda. Try and gain some perspective! Or someone here will get the poo poker to poke you with a rusty fork. At Walmart. Obviously!

I was especially interested in that brother of yours (whom apparently has turkey legs instead of regular limbs, poor fellow) and his ability to do 'historical voices'. Perhaps you could entice him to contribute to this thread, 'speaking' in various historical voices? He could write, for instance:

(Colonial Williamsburg accent): Here Ye, Here Ye! Beware of the Cougars!

It would bring history alive!

 

[MerMom60_94]

Because nothing says Christmas like festively shimmering piles of pooh sprinkled hither and yon. I can almost hear my special fur-snowflake preparing to heave up the very first be-tinseled hairball of the season as we speak.

As a thrift gift suggestion to be treasured by all your loved ones, you might want to shelack that and put it on a string to serve as a gift of jewelry. Very shimmery!!!

 

[focusondisney]

I was especially interested in that brother of yours (whom apparently has turkey legs instead of regular limbs, poor fellow) and his ability to do 'historical voices'. Perhaps you could entice him to contribute to this thread, 'speaking' in various historical voices? He could write, for instance:

(Colonial Williamsburg accent): Here Ye, Here Ye! Beware of the Cougars!

It would bring history alive!

No, No, the Cougers are OK. It's the Lil Pokers that aren't. Or blue bananas, I forget which.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Ok...I have to admit that I haven't read all of the posts, but....
Thank you for the laughs!

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'm going to donate the money saved to glitterkitty. I'm not sure why. I haven't read all the replies, but I think it's because she need a poohapendectomy...or is it that she had a bad reaction to nuts in a tree stand? Or did a boy scout poke her in the wine rack and now she is involved in a costly lawsuit because the boy scout stole the poking job from an unemployed poker who smells as if he has poo about his pants. (Unemployed pokers who smell of poo can be rather bitter. In my experience anyways.)? I can't be bothered to figure out which. I'm really quite busy. Obviously.
I do however know it is ALL about her.

A poohapendectomy sounds painful AND pricey!

I'll send you may paypal account info.

 

[glitterkittyy]

As a thrift gift suggestion to be treasured by all your loved ones, you might want to shelack that and put it on a string to serve as a gift of jewelry. Very shimmery!!!

Just the gift idea I need for my SIL who gave me a used candle. Thanks!

 

[Pakey]

As a thrift gift suggestion to be treasured by all your loved ones, you might want to shelack that and put it on a string to serve as a gift of jewelry. Very shimmery!!!

You have no idea how much I'd love to give this to my mother in law who once gave me a rock from her yard with a face drawn on with a Sharpie.

 

[legalsea]

You have no idea how much I'd love to give this to my mother in law who once gave me a rock from her yard with a face drawn on with a Sharpie.

What? Was the face poorly drawn? Was it a 'frowny' face? Happy face? Or Neutral face?

 

[focusondisney]

You have no idea how much I'd love to give this to my mother in law who once gave me a rock from her yard with a face drawn on with a Sharpie.

That's my pet!!! I lost him in the 70's.

I've already called my lawyer.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

As a thrift gift suggestion to be treasured by all your loved ones, you might want to shelack that and put it on a string to serve as a gift of jewelry. Very shimmery!!!

Hey, hey, hey. No advertising your side businesses on the DIS. It's not allowed. And don't ask me to vote for your shiny poopy necklace in any type of contest.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Hey, hey, hey. No advertising your side businesses on the DIS. It's not allowed. And don't ask me to vote for your shiny poopy necklace in any type of contest.

Aren't you glad I got your name in the DIS gift exchange?

 

[MerMom60_94]

Hey, hey, hey. No advertising your side businesses on the DIS. It's not allowed. And don't ask me to vote for your shiny poopy necklace in any type of contest.

You know, too bad those two kitty cats on that other thread finally got a home. Otherwise I would take them and feed them glitter and make a killing on e-bay this Christmas season with my jewelry. I have a dog though. Do you think if I feed her glitter and tinsel that will work instead?

 

[focusondisney]

Aren't you glad I got your name in the DIS gift exchange?

Wait, there's gifts?

 

[glitterkittyy]

Wait, there's gifts?

Well there is if you sign up....sure.

I have two cats, plenty of necklaces to go around.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Aren't you glad I got your name in the DIS gift exchange?

Glitterkittyy, I dare you to go onto the exchange board and start up an exchange for homemade jewelry.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Aren't you glad I got your name in the DIS gift exchange?

I knew you couldn't quit me either.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

You know, too bad those two kitty cats on that other thread finally got a home. Otherwise I would take them and feed them glitter and make a killing on e-bay this Christmas season with my jewelry. I have a dog though. Do you think if I feed her glitter and tinsel that will work instead?

I don't know for sure, but I've got an 80 pound lab at home and I hope she's hungry when I get home tonight.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Glitterkittyy, I dare you to go onto the exchange board and start up an exchange for homemade jewelry.

Ha! I would but those ladies take exchanging seriously. I could go make a suggestion for a homemade jewelry exchange, but I'm not hosting one..no way!