How upset would you be over this?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

A relative stranger told a 9 year old a truth and you lied to her.
You are teaching her to believe others over you.

And I'm sure the teachers will lie about Santa in December...so it all evens out.

 

[C.Ann]

Just by the sheer fact that it was the librarian, whose job it is to teach literature, would make one tend to believe that this discussion was brought up during a discussion on books.

Children usually only see the librarian once a week for a short time and during that time there is usually a literary portion and then time to go select a book. Perhaps the librarian is a mean old curmudgeon who just happened to blurt out that Disney characters weren't real completely out of the blue, but somehow I seriously doubt that.

I've quoted all of the original posts by the OP and I see nothing to validate your theory as to how this came about, so I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree - at least for now..

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

All of the above posts are by the OP.. I see nothing that indicates this was any type of "literary" discussion or "instruction"..

In fairness, we will not know since it is likely that the 9yo probably disregarded anything else the librarian said due to her being so upset and we are only getting the 9yo's version of events through her mom.

We can speculate what occurred--but none of us really know.

 

[phamton]

I taught 3rd grade for a number of years and part of the curriculum was the difference between fiction and non-fiction books. She may have asked where you would find a book about George Washington and the kids would answer "in the non-fiction section." And where would you find a book about Cinderella and the kids would answer "in the fiction section." If some child piped up that they saw Cinderella at Disney, then it is possible that another child may have said she weren't really Cinderella.

Personally, I would have just told my child the truth. Explain a little bit about the magic of pretending just as we pretend to be a pirate or Snow White at Halloween. It's can be lots of fun to pretend.

Or how about the Universal fanatics? Does that mean the librarian cannot discuss the Cat in the Hat or the Grinch without revealing that they are fictional characters? How about Spiderman, Hulk, Popeye, Scooby Do, Dora, The Simpsons and Spongebob, all characters at Universal that some child may believe are real?

How about Harry Potter? Should the librarian pretend that the wizarding world is real just in case some family allows their child to believe that Hogwarts is a real place?

Glad you brought that up since I work at Universal Orlando. Don't forget that Harry Potter and Hogwarts is coming soon to Universal Studios theme park. Oh, and you left off Barney at Universal Studios.

 

[hereyago]

Not all parents who allow the belief to exist threaten their children with the belief.

QUOTE]

I know not all parents do that, but there have been some even on the Disboards who have written about. Even on my friends has done it.
My DM told me how she as a child would get a Easter basket at her aunt's house and was told after she said she didn't believe that the Bunny wouldn't bring her anything to their house. Sure enough, no more baskets there.

 

[Teacher03]

I teach third grade and to be honest, I would never imagine that a third grader would believe Cinderella or Mickey Mouse is real. We often talk about genres of stories, and Cinderalla is traditional literature, a fairy tale, and has all the elements of a fairy tale. Fairy tales are fictional. However, if a child insisted that either was real, I wouldn't let it change my lesson, but I also wouldn't go out of my way to tell them that they were wrong.

 

[Erin1700]

Op here (again)...the librarian said something about characters not being real. One child said some of them are and said cinderella is real. The librarian said "No she is not real. and the mickey mouse you see on tv at disney is not real"
There seems to have been a hint thrown at the lady that some of the kids still believed. She must have missed it.
In talking to my DD, I was trying to see if it was just a simple "Cinderella is in the fiction section" kind of thing. DD said no that is not what happened. DD said she understands that there are many versions of the Cinderella story, thus earning it a spot on the fiction shelf. But this librarian actually said "The people you see at Disney are not real!"
This I have an issue with! Who is to say some kid is not going to ask about Santa? Is she going to tell them he is not real??
I agree with all of you that 9 (and by 9, she just had her bday yesterday, seriously), is a little old to believe, but I am not going to ruin the magic that she so wants to keep. She is not going to turn down a prom date because she is waiting for the real prince to ask her, it is all good eventually!

hey and who said Barney was not real??? I have a 2 yr old DS who wouldnt like to hear that! heehee

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Are you suggesting that the only way to teach literature is to use stories based on cartoon characters?

There is tons out there to teach the various literary elements at a young age without "going there".

No, what I am saying is that it is impossible to discuss any kind of fiction while pretending the characters are real.

By sheer definition of "fiction", fiction is imaginary.

From websters:

fic⋅tion
  /ˈfɪkʃən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fik-shuhn] Show IPA
Use fiction in a Sentence
See web results for fiction
See images of fiction
–noun

1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, esp. in prose form.
2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction.
3. something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story: We've all heard the fiction of her being in delicate health.
4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining.
5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.
6. Law. an allegation that a fact exists that is known not to exist, made

by authority of law to bring a case within the operation of a rule of law.
Origin:
1375–1425; late ME < L fictiōn- (s. of fictiō) a shaping, hence a feigning, fiction, equiv. to fict(us) molded (ptp. of fingere) + -iōn- -ion

Related forms:
fic⋅tion⋅al, adjective
fic⋅tion⋅al⋅ly, adverb

Synonyms:
3. fable, fantasy. Fiction, fabrication, figment suggest a story that is without basis in reality. Fiction suggests a story invented and fashioned either to entertain or to deceive: clever fiction; pure fiction. Fabrication applies particularly to a false but carefully invented statement or series of statements, in which some truth is sometimes interwoven, the whole usually intended to deceive: fabrications to lure speculators. Figment applies to a tale, idea, or statement often made up to explain, justify, or glorify oneself: His rich uncle was a figment of his imagination.


So, are you suggesting that only "Disney" characters are where you draw the line of "going there?" What about families that frequent other theme parks? They have characters there too that are based on fiction. I am sure there are some boys out there that believe Spidey is as real as Cinderella. Would you be as upset if the librarian discussed the comic book genre and discussed Spiderman as being a popular comic book character?

By 9 years old, there should be a reasonable expectation by teachers to be able to discuss all forms of fiction without bursting some child's bubble.

 

[Erin1700]

I teach third grade and to be honest, I would never imagine that a third grader would believe Cinderella or Mickey Mouse is real. We often talk about genres of stories, and Cinderalla is traditional literature, a fairy tale, and has all the elements of a fairy tale. Fairy tales are fictional. However, if a child insisted that either was real, I wouldn't let it change my lesson, but I also wouldn't go out of my way to tell them that they were wrong.

I understand what you are saying. But I bet the Cinderella story you are teaching is not the disney version. In teaching the "story" you are not saying "the pretty lady in Disney world is a fake".

 

[C.Ann]

Op here (again)...I agree with all of you that 9 (and by 9, she just had her bday yesterday, seriously), is a little old to believe, but I am not going to ruin the magic that she so wants to keep.

And that is your right as her parent.. I hope she has a MAGICAL time at Disney!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So, are you suggesting that only "Disney" characters are where you draw the line of "going there?" What about families that frequent other theme parks? They have characters there too that are based on fiction. I am sure there are some boys out there that believe Spidey is as real as Cinderella. Would you be as upset if the librarian discussed the comic book genre and discussed Spiderman as being a popular comic book character?

By 9 years old, there should be a reasonable expectation by teachers to be able to discuss all forms of fiction without bursting some child's bubble.

No--and if you read my post there is tons of children's literature that doesn't involve cartoons.

But thanks for posting the definition of fiction. Clearly as a 35yo woman, I didn't know what that included.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I think most people would assume a 9 yr old would know characters dressed up in costumes are not real. I have a feeling it never occurred to the librarian to think otherwise. Most people play along with Santa, but I don't think most people play along that people dressed as characters in costumes are real. Maybe I am in the minority thinking this way though.

I'm sure you are not in the minority at all on this. I am as big a Disney freak as anyone here. When I give Goofy a hug, that is Goofy, but really, it would have never occured to me that third graders would "believe" in Disney characters the way they believe in Santa or the tooth fairy. In all my years of reading and posting on the DIS, this is the first I can recall that people have been serious about believing the characters to be real. If this is news to me and other DISers on this thread, I don't see how the average non-Disney-freak can be expected to know about it.

IMO, this is nowhere near the same as telling a child that Santa isn't real. Santa and the Easter Bunny are widely known to be believed in by the majority of children in the U.S. Disney characters are not.

Op here (again)...the librarian said something about characters not being real. One child said some of them are and said cinderella is real. The librarian said "No she is not real. and the mickey mouse you see on tv at disney is not real"
There seems to have been a hint thrown at the lady that some of the kids still believed. She must have missed it.

I would have also missed the hint that the kids "still believe", but would have gotten the hint that they don't understand the difference between fictional characters and real people.

I don't see the librarian's comments as "the pretty lady in Disney world is a fake", but as "the pretty lady in Disney World is playing the part of the fictional character of Cinderella."

 

[Planogirl]

I doubt that it ever occurred to the librarian that some kids would think that fairy tale or Disney characters are real. Santa is a completely different thing IMO and I doubt that she would touch that one.

 

[crazee4mickey]

I haven't read all the posts so I don't know if the OP gave more detail as to why the librarian told her DD this but I don't think I would be upset----disappointed perhaps that she "popped" the magic for your child.

I did work in a school for 15 years and I have encountered staff who feel it is their "obligation to inform" children there is no Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. I was an E.A. in one of my DS's classes when the teacher told them all to quit being ridiculous Santa was not real---the kids were crushed and I was furious.

Never have figured out why some adults don't think before spewing out some statements to children

 

[NHdisneylover]

There is a difference between letting child believe and lying to their face when they ask you the truth.

I agree that there is a big difference between the two. I think the best approach when a child asks if Santa (or whoever) is real is to turn it back on them and ask them what do they think. If they really want to keep believing they will rationalize their friends' responses in some way. If they are ready to let go they will. They don't feel forced to stop believing because you have just ruined the magic by confirming the rumor, but they do not feel pressured to remain "innocent" to keep their parents happy either (or feel that their parents lie to them).

IMO, this is nowhere near the same as telling a child that Santa isn't real. Santa and the Easter Bunny are widely known to be believed in by the majority of children in the U.S. Disney characters are not.

I would have also missed the hint that the kids "still believe", but would have gotten the hint that they don't understand the difference between fictional characters and real people.
I don't see the librarian's comments as "the pretty lady in Disney world is a fake", but as "the pretty lady in Disney World is playing the part of the fictional character of Cinderella."

Yes to this Presumably if they were discussing if characters were real it is because it is part of the third grade media sciences curriculum to learn too distinguish between fictional and non fictional chcarcters and stories. In that case, the teacher is doing her job. She is making sure ths kids understand. Perhaps the next standardized test will have a question about whether Cinderella is fiction or non fiction and if so these kids will get it right (well, all except for the ones whose parents undermined the lesson and told the their children the teacher was wrong and Cinderella is indeed real.)
OP--I don't think you are a bad person, or trying to undermine the teacher at all.
I think you were caught off gaurd and need to step back and think about this a little more clearly
Part of growing up IS learning how to distinguish between fantasty and reality. This is a very important skill to have. It is something most children should be able to do by third grade. It does not mean she will have lost all her childhood innocence overnight--or even that she will get any less pleasure out of WDW than she did before (I promise).

 

[Teacher03]

I understand what you are saying. But I bet the Cinderella story you are teaching is not the disney version. In teaching the "story" you are not saying "the pretty lady in Disney world is a fake".

You're exactly right. Although the kids know I am a Disney freak, we don't talk about "that" Cinderella when we are discussing fairy tales !

As I said, I am surprised at a nine year old that doesn't know they are not real, but a teacher burst my child's bubble when she was in kindergarten so I know how the OP feels. We come from a large Italian family with lots of stories, and my FIL told his grandchildren a story about his family that obviously could not be true, but he made it so believeable that the grandchildren loved to hear it. She told her teacher, teacher said it wasn't true, she said grandpa isn't a liar, and teacher insisted he was. I was very upset so I do understand why the OP is upset.

 

[luvsJack]

On the note of teaching children the difference between a fictional character and a non-fictional. When my oldest son was very young his first definition of "real" (in his mind) was that it could see and hear and talk. So he defined the trees in Wizard of Oz as "real" because they could talk.

It is an important skill and was on our state tests. Maybe she could have left it to the characters in books instead of pointing out that the Mickey in the parks is not real? I know when I was a second grade assistant this lesson was kind of a sticky wicky for the teacher when it came to Santa. Most of the kids did believe. She usually did whatever was necessary to leave him out of the conversation but it did sometimes come up. And always had lots of books to use to show the difference.

When dd was 9 she would have told her teacher that she knew the Disney characters weren't real but her mom thinks they are!

 

[Pigeon]

Never in a million years would it occur to me that a nine year old (or a child of any age, for that matter) would think that Disney characters are real. My kids knew from the get-go. So, it wouldn't upset me in the least.

 

[Mermaid02]

I would be willing to bet that OTHER CHILDREN also got into the conversation and the Librarian was probably trying to diffuse something........ "Suzy- of COURSE Mickey Mouse isn't real"

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I doubt that it ever occurred to the librarian that some kids would think that fairy tale or Disney characters are real. Santa is a completely different thing IMO and I doubt that she would touch that one.

Agree.

I can't wrap my brain around kids believing people in costumes are "real". My kids were always scared of the costumes and we steered clear from them.